a/n- Had a lot of fun writing this chapter, cause I love all Mac/Logan interaction. Hope you guys love it, too. Love to hear what you think!
Introductions
"Come on, Veronica. What are we doing?" Logan asks in that petulant 5-year-old way that only he can.
She rolls her eyes at him and shakes her head. This again? "I told you. We need to find out more about those two." She was almost to the car door of his X-terra before he grabbed her by the arm.
"Stop, Veronica! You don't need to do this. We've got enough to worry about as it is." He tries to stare her down with those dark, hazel eyes of his, but she isn't moved. Instead, she tries not to notice how the early afternoon sunlight is turning the fading highlights in his hair into a rich, coppery gold. It's not any easier to forget about the greenish-yellow bruises dotted across his forehead and cheekbones, or the jagged, pink cuts just below his hairline. She opts for looking at his shoes. That seems neutral enough.
"I know that. Don't you think I don't? But I really don't want any more surprises. I need to find out what they are here for." She shrugs off his hand from her arm and points at him. "I thought you'd be more suspicious. I mean, they came here falsely accusing you of a kidnaping."
His jaw tenses. "I know. Add it to the list."
Still worked up, she continues, "And then they claim to just want to help? What's with that? I need to find out what they are up to."
He gives a little and sighs. " Look, I'm not saying I trust them. Actually, I'm pretty sure I feel the opposite of that. Incertitude maybe? Dubiosity? Skepticism? All I do know is that if there is any sort of danger involved, I don't want you to go poking around."
Deep, deep down, she knows he means well, but he's made her angry and she feels a little like lashing out. She wishes she knew why it was so much easier for her to yell at him than to be just sigh and say Okay, honey, I'll play nice. Maybe the fighting is all their relationship really is. "You don't want me poking around? Really? But you wanted me to help you out of your little snafu with the police a few days ago. That's what you want? For me to help you out when it's convenient for you? A little PI whore at your beck and call?"
"Dammit, Ronnie! That's not what this is about." His eyes burn into hers and she's thankful he's no longer holding onto her arm. It would probably burn as well. There's at least a minute of silence from him as he studies her expression and formulates his approach. She's ready for a verbal blow-up from him at the least.
Unexpectedly, his whole body just collapses. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to tell you what you can and can't do. I just thought," he sighs deeply and runs his hand through his hair, spinning away from her, so that she barely hears what he says next, "I just thought that with everything else, you were owed a little peace and quiet. You've got exams to finish and your dad's still in the hospital. And now this? I hate that I got you involved with my crap. With my family's crap. You know I have a huge target on my back because of this Felix thing, right?" He mimes pulling a bow and arrow and shooting it right into his heart. He drops his eyes to the ground and mutters, "You've been through too much. You deserve better than this."
Who is this Logan standing in front of her and what did he do with the sarcastic jackass he's been all year? It's such a tender and honest sentiment, the fight drains right out of her. "Oh, Logan," she sighs, and places her hand gently on his arm, so that he turns back to her. "This crap you're in is mine, too. You can't protect me from it. I'm a target too because of what happened with Aaron, and I did that all on my own. So don't you dare feel bad about that! What he did..." she gulps, unsure whether she can or even should continue, "...what he did to Lilly... to you...it is not your fault."
Underneath her hand, she can feel the way his arm trembles and she knows how much guilt he has racked up against himself. "Logan, I know I've said this before, but I am truly sorry about what happened to you. And what I did. You didn't deserve-"
He stops her with a kiss. Hard, passionate, fiery. And all the guilt and fear and insecurity goes away. She's breathing hard, panting against his firm chest, when he breaks away. Stroking her hand in the softest of gestures, he says, "Fine. We'll do it your way."
She knows he can see the contented look in her eyes, and she makes no move to hide it from him. "Good," she replies.
...
"Hello, Mrs. Mackenzie. Is Mac home?"
The middle-aged housewife who answers the door smiles down at Veronica pleasantly. Then, she looks at Logan and her face falls, as if trying to place where she knows him from. A second later, she recovers and smiles politely at the young man on her doorstep. "Sure, Veronica. She's in her room." Veronica is thankful that Mac's parents aren't the news obsessed type, and vaguely she remembers that Mac and her family had been out of town all last weekend, camping, and have missed the shocking events that come with living on a gateway to Hell. Either that or they are choosing to ignore them to be polite. Probably the latter.
As they approach Mac's room, she can hear upbeat techno music blasting behind the door. Veronica glances at Logan who looks bemused and thoughtful, studying the family photos on the hallway wall. She pulls him forward before his thoughts can stray into dark and dangerous territories, and knocks on Mac's door.
One look at Veronica and Mac's eyes go wide. "Veronica? What are you doing here?" She hisses, pulling both of them inside her room and securing the door. She suddenly seems to notice Logan and her mouth actually hangs open before rapidly covering her pj'ed self with her arms. "Why is he here? At my house? Did I win the school's "Awkward Date with a Psychotic 09er" Award or something?"
Logan stares at the strange, blue haired girl for a beat before a huge grin spreads out across his face. "Not unless you fight Ronnie for it. Actually that's a good idea. Go ahead," he waves an arm towards them before affecting a casual pose against the far wall, "whenever your ready. Do you want me to referee or anything?"
Mac stares blankly at Logan, completely unsure what to say.
Veronica glares at him and holds up a hand. "Look, Mac, I need your computer kung fu. I need to crack into some security footage from the Neptune Grand."
"Oh. Okay." She nods, looking relieved. For the first time, she seems to notice the slight bruises covering Veronica's arms and face and the similar ones on Logan and makes a point to look elsewhere. She had only talked to Veronica briefly since the whole 'Aaron' thing, and the reality of it all is just now setting in. "Hey, how are you, by the way? I haven't gotten a chance to ask you since..."
Veronica shrugs. "Fine. Little bit crispy around the edges. But it's over, you know. Well, I mean, until the trial." She doesn't know why she's telling Mac this, especially with Logan standing there staring at her like she's made of eggshells. "I'm just glad I finally know the truth, as awful as that actually is." She can't bring herself to look at Logan's face, because if she does, she knows he'll see right through her and she doesn't think she can handle it.
"Okay," Mac offers. She fumbles around, also avoiding Logan's intense stare, because what on earth could she possibly say to him, and heads for her desk with the pile of random computer equipment, cords, and various blinking boxes. "What exactly do you need me to do?"
Veronica takes a breath and smiles. This. This is why she loves Mac. No awkward hugs, no false pity, no 'Do you want to talk about it?' Just down to business. "I need you to hack into the feed to the Grand's security cameras for the last couple of days. We're trying to get some intel on a couple that's staying there."
Mac nods. "Sure. Probably take me about an hour or so, depending on how secure their system is. You can, um, just-," she looks around at the state of her disorganized room, "wait here. I guess."
Logan's demeanor changes again as he nonchalantly hops on top of Mac's Firefly bedspread and smiles at her sincerely. He pats the corner with his hand and flashes Veronica a wicked smirk. "Come on, snookums, Mac's bed is super comfy."
Even though her head is spinning from the crazy way he shifts personalities, she's pretty grateful for the way he is making Mac feel less embarrassed about her room. She joins him on the bed, but resists the urge to snuggle into his side. After all, they have an audience.
Veronica ends up spending the time trying not to hover over Mac as her fingers fly over the keyboard and crazy blurred lines of code flash across the screen. She also tries not to watch Logan as he randomly picks up knickknacks around Mac's room and throws them in the air as if testing their weight, before stilling to exam the wall of geek chick posters. If she's honest, she's surprised he managed to sit patiently for as long as he did. She can tell he's not bored exactly, but his patience is wearing thin, and she can see by the way his mouth presses together in a thin line that his earlier thoughts are starting to drift back in. She wants to stop him, but there's not anything much she can say or do with Mac in the room. She also really hates how she knows exactly what he is thinking, almost as if they share a direct line into one another's thoughts. Domesticity never sits well with him for long. Especially now.
"Okay. You're in." Mac says, showing her the computer monitor where the screen is filled with black and white footage of the Grand's hotel lobby, elevator, front entrance, and staff entrance.
Veronica squeals a little, causing Logan to chuckle at her, and hugs Mac. Mac stiffens and pats her arm awkwardly. "Ohhhkaay? Um, you're welcome?" She slides out of Veronica's reach and allows her to sit at the desk chair. Logan steps over and peers at the screen where Veronica is scanning through the recorded video.
He tilts his head at Mac. "So, you do this a lot?"
Mac frowns. "What? Girl hugs? No."
He shakes his head. "The computer stuff, Steve Jobs. What are you? CIA, FBI, SSS?"
"SSS?"
Logan's lips curl into a smile, "Short and super smart."
Mac blinks and then, suddenly she's smiling, too. "Did you just compliment me?"
"Compliments? Me?" He affects an innocent face and points an accusatory finger at her. "You can't prove anything and I'll deny it to my grave."
She blushes and turns back to watch Veronica's progress. This is a side of Logan she has never ever seen and it's causing her to question her tightly held beliefs that 09ers were all selfish assholes. Okay, so maybe this is what Veronica sees in him.
"Yahtzee!" Veronica exclaims, having been completely oblivious to the exchange going on behind her. She points to the right corner of the screen that shows the elevator feed. Inside, the dark haired PI and his blond friend are riding in the car. Another passenger, a typical, black-haired call girl judging by her skin tight dress, rides in front. "So, they were at least telling the truth about staying at the Grand." She says, slowly forwarding the video. She sees the doors open and the blonde exits. Mick is following but is stopped by the other woman. "Well, well." She states. "And I thought he and Beth seemed sort of...couple-y...but it looks like he's trying to score with that 'bimbo of the week'."
She looks up at Mac who just shrugs impassively. But then she sees Logan and her body goes cold.
He's standing there, eyes wide, and hugging himself. Almost the same as when he showed up at her door looking to find his mother. He blinks rapidly, as if pulling himself up out of water.
"Logan?" Veronica says softly. "What is it?"
"Well, looks like its a true Echoll's family reunion after all."
Whirling back to the screen, she points to the lady Mick is talking to. "Wait! You know that woman?"
Shivering slightly, Logan nods. "She's my...she's Aaron's first wife."
"Why is she talking to Mick and Beth?"
Logan frowns, and shrugs his arms around him.
"What aren't you telling me?" Veronica asks, but he fails to look her in the eye. He's shut off again, and she's starting to get annoyed.
Realizing she won't get Logan to talk, especially not in front of Mac, Veronica decides to finish watching the video. She watches Mick's interaction with the woman carefully, watches her hand him a card. Is she propositioning him? Slipping him information? I need to find out what is going on. Then, she sees Beth. Sees Beth fuming and angry. Veronica smiles. That is a look of a woman scorned. Perfect.
"Come on, Logan." She says, pushing him toward the door, noticing uncomfortably how solid he is even when he looks like a strong wind might knock him down.
As he goes, she turns to Mac who looks confused and worried. "Hey, thanks for your help, Mac. I'll call you soon."
Veronica watches Logan shuffle out the door in a daze. Mac stops her before she can follow. "Are you really okay?'
She smiles brightly, hoping it looks as convincing as she's trying to make it. "Sure, you know me, I take a licking and keep on kicking ass."
This pulls a smile from a reluctant Mac, who then nods towards the door. "How about him? This whole thing is pretty messed up. I mean, I thought my situation was a big deal..." She goes silent. "I can't imagine."
Veronica sighs. "Yeah." She can't picture what's going through Logan's head right now either. She's not even sure she wants to. And then, like a ton of bricks, the weight of it all suddenly hits her again, almost knocking out her knees. Reaching over, she steadies herself on the side of the desk. He was right, it's too much. And he needs too much from me. Damnit! Taking a deep breath, Veronica pulls herself upright before Mac notices her weakness. She can't back down, not now. You are Veronica Mars! Logan needs your help and that is what you do! So, stop whining and go help him.
"Thanks again, Q." Veronica says softly, forcing the smile once more and reaching for the bedroom door.
"Anytime, Bond." Mac answers sincerely.
...
Logan is pacing around the driveway in front of his X-terra, looking like he's lost deep in thought. He doesn't even notice when Veronica slips his keys out of his hand and jumps up into the driver's seat. She honks the horn, causing him to jump and see her for the first time.
She leans over to the passenger window and shouts, "Get in, or I'm leaving you here," with a smile on her face. She's doing her best to keep it light and praying it works.
It seems to, and he returns her smile, even if it doesn't get remotely near his eyes. "You sure you don't need some phone books to sit on? Maybe a booster seat?" He says as he buckles himself into his car. For some reason, the thought of her driving his jeep seems to be more amusing than terrifying to him in this circumstance. At any rate, it's a welcome distraction.
"You know what they say about large, garish-colored vehicles and your manhood, right?" She fires back, adjusting his mirrors deliberately.
"That's only for sports cars and people approach their forties. Besides, my vehicle reflects my enormous personality." He winks suggestively at her.
Laughing, she fiddles with the a/c and the electric seat, relishing in how uncomfortable it's making him. "I don't think they make a car big enough for your ego to fit inside." She tilts her head. "You know, on second thought, I think this yellow monstrosity is perfect for you." She rubs her hands along the leather-lined steering wheel, and revs the accelerator, noticing the agitated rumble Logan makes in his chest. "It's all flash. Style over substance." She hasn't even left Mac's driveway and all of his presets are a mess.
With a faked, shocked look, he smooths his hands along the dash. "Shhh, baby, she didn't mean it." He glares at her. "Says the girl with the barely street legal tin can. Did you manage to get your pal Weevil to give you the proceeds from the scrap heap he sold it to?"
"Hey! I loved that car." She pouts. "And for your information, Weevil's fixing it."
A stillness hangs in the air. A line had been crossed without either of them realizing it. It was like any hint of "That Night" was enough to suck the life out of both of them. Veronica decides now is a good time to drive them back to her apartment.
After several miles of uncomfortable silence, Logan dips his head, and stares up at her earnestly. "She hates me," he says, almost so quiet she doesn't catch it.
"What? Who hates you?"
"Lana. I mean, she loathes Aaron as well, but I'm pretty sure she has always blamed me for their split."
Veronica stares at him aghast. "How? What could you have had to do with it? You weren't even born until well after their divorce, right?"
He shrugs and turns back to look out the window, slouching down into the seat and propping his feet up on the glove box. "I don't even know why. Just every time I would see her, she would just look at me, like, I don't know, like I was the devil or something. She's Trina's mom, you know. I mean, not her real mom, but Trina thinks of her that way. She basically dumped her on Aaron after the divorce came through, so I don't know why Trine has such a soft spot for her. But it was like no one else could be her mom."
Veronica thinks back to their childhood, how Trina would talk to Lynn like she was just Logan's mom and not the woman who had been raising her practically her whole life. It had never made much sense at the time, but Veronica was never really close enough with Trina to really care about it one way or the other.
"Well, that actually explains a lot. When was the last time you saw her, Logan?" She tries to keep one eye on him to gage his mood, but it's hard when she has to steer his boat, too.
"On and off when I was really young. She would come by to check on Trina, birthday's and Christmas mostly. Mostly she would just show up at places randomly and make a spectacle of herself at Aaron or my mom's expense. The last time though...was probably when I was about twelve. Right before we moved here." His eyes darken to the color of coal and a chilling darkness hangs over his handsome features. Lost in the whirlpool of his memories, he quakes when he speaks. "She was sitting in the hospital lobby, reading a magazine. It was right after one of the worst times he..." His voices cracks and he licks his lips before he can continue. Worst times? She thinks, then it hits her. Oh. God. "Anyway, she just looked at me with my arm in a cast, my face all bruised up, and she smiled. I remember thinking that I had never seen her look happier."
Veronica pales and shivers, making a quick decision to pull his vehicle over, cutting the engine. She turns to him and carefully takes one of his hands in hers. His hand is ice cold, but there is sweat across the palm. She decides not to say anything, to wait him out until he was ready. What was there to say to make it better or easier anyway?
His whole body shudders and like a flip of the switch, he's back to his old self, half smiles and warm guarded eyes. "Hey, sorry about that. Some family, huh? We should all come with warning label. Caution: Contents are radioactive and severely fucked up."
"Logan," she says, careful to step out each word like she's walking through a mine field. "Never, ever, apologize for telling me about your past. I want to know. I want to do what I can to make it better for you."
He brushes a hair over her ear, so close to her face now she can see the flecks of gold in his eyes. "I know, sugarpuss. But some things you just can't fix."
She clenches her jaw, willing her frustration back. Part of her wants to scream at him and tell him Logan, you are not broken! You are not like them! And part of her just wants to climb into his lap and strip them both naked and forget all their problems in a torrent of sheer bliss.
She does neither of these things. Instead, she opts for a quick, shaky peck on his cheek as she reaches back to start up the car.
