Christmas 7: Advent of Candles

Everyone told her to give up, that it was a lost cause. Mamoru was gone and wasn't coming back.

The girls thought he'd forgotten about her, or at least had liked his new life so much more than his old one that he was washing his hands of her. Her parents thought he was too busy and with the time change that it was too difficult to contact her all the time, or even once.

Seiya, well, he hadn't said much on the issue except try and tell her that Mamoru was gone and there was no hope for him returning. He didn't say it so directly though. He kept trying to guide her gently to that understanding.

Usagi couldn't though, she just couldn't believe it. He said he'd write and call and so she knew he would. He would.

She was getting cards in the mail, not real cards but not quite postcards either, more like those info or game cards people had with a picture and space below for words. They kept arriving in her mail box. She didn't get any words but she felt like they were from Mamoru. They had something to do with Mamoru, that much she knew for sure, knew it in her gut.

Every night before she went to bed she would turn on her nightlight. She had graduated from the one in the wall with a little girl and bunny to one at her window. This one was a candle. It wasn't a flame she lit every night but it was as close as she could get. A real flame was too dangerous but the idea was the same behind it.

The girls thought it was a symbol that she was still carrying a torch for him.

The girls could think what they want and that much was true enough. Yet it was more than that, it was a symbol all right, a symbol that she was there, waiting for him to return. It was there to help guide him home.

And some nights it felt like he was.

She'd awake with a strong feeling that he was near, that his presence wasn't far and she'd wake yearning for him to complete that distance, to be in the room with her.

Some nights she'd sleep through but would wake up at peace and feel as if he had spent the whole night with her, just holding her and those were the best days, the days where she didn't cry and she missed him less because he felt so close.

Then there were the nights where it felt like someone blew out that light. Those were the worst. Sometimes it was true, she'd wake up and the candle would be off. She didn't know if it was her mom, Luna or some ghostly figure telling her to give up.

Those were the days she felt like he was never further away, that he was truly gone and she'd cry so often she wasn't sure if her face would ever go back to normal or if it was permanently waterlogged.

Even after she found out the truth, even after it finally pushed its way in after she lost four friends, four more candles she lit every night, she still turned them all on. It wasn't a prayer that they rested in peace, it wasn't a prayer that they'd look over her. It was still a hope that they'd make their way back and that her light would guide them if they'd lost their way.

The cards weren't from Mamoru, they were from Seiya. Even so, it had had something to do with Mamoru. It was meant to remind her of what she had blocked in her memory, his own way of proving to her that someone was lighting a candle to help her find her way back, her own way through. She looked at the cards afresh now that she knew who they were from and why she had gotten them and there in the center was a star brighter than the rest, a guide for her to follow.

Before she lost any more friends they would make a plan to go there.

And before she left to track down the one stealing souls just to get at her, she lit only one candle in the window.

It might be one tiny candle in a world of light far away from everything and that light had no chance of reaching her until she was near, but it would do, it was enough, it was there to help her come home once more and hopefully bring back with her not only her friends but Mamoru as well.

Apparently it was her light that had guided so much darkness and pain to her doorstep.

Not the light in the window, but the light shining through her, the same light she had inadvertently passed onto her candle, for it shone so much brighter than ever before. Like flames they just fed each other.

That very same light that drew so much darkness also drew so many damaged souls that healed when bathed in her light and had given her so much support and strength in return, making her light even brighter.

It was that light that allowed her to be able to defeat the darkness and gave her the inguity to spread that darkness to everyone. Not one soul deserved so much darkness and not one soul deserved so much light. It was the balance that made things beautiful.

Just like a solitary candle behind a window in a room so dark that it allowed the light to shine brighter.

Everyone was blessed with one more life and were returned to Tokyo and more lights were on, combating the dark, more candles in more windows. More lights strung up on trees.

And one couple, one dark and one light walked home together, looking for that one house with that one window in that one room that held the most precious candle of them all. The candle she had lit for him.

They said their temporary goodbyes as she went inside and hugged her family tightly. She then opened her window and once he entered she turned off the light. He wouldn't need it to guide him home anymore, he was already there. She shut the window and returned to him and he held her all night. In the morning he told her that he had never needed the candle for she had always been his light but the candle was a nice visual touch.

She kissed him a temporary goodbye as he left through the window and by the time she got downstairs he was already there, inside talking with her family.

"Merry Christmas Usako." He pulled her in tight and held her even as they opened gifts.

She'd tell everyone that lighting a candle was the best idea she ever had.

EAN: I know, another one that's only 2 pages but it flowed the way I wanted it to, so I didn't feel the need to drag it out longer. Some of the following ones though might be even longer.