Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill
Note: Sorry this took a while, and sorry it cut off short, but I needed to give myself a Brucas fix after last night! Let me know that you think!
Lucas was surprised to find Brooke waiting for him at his car when he finally made it out of the school. Well, she wasn't exactly waiting for him at his car, just near his car. He knew that she didn't want anyone to see them together, and he also knew that she probably didn't even want to be together.
She didn't even look at him as she climbed into his car, cursing herself once again for letting him drive her that morning.
Lucas kept his mouth shut as he started the car, even though there were a thousand things that he wanted to say to her. He wanted to explain that he wasn't the one who had approached Peyton. But most importantly, he wanted to know why she had said "love" instead of "loved."
Brooke kept her eyes locked on an imaginary obeject outside the car. She couldn't look at him. Everytime she did, she just saw him and Peyton together. She knew that eventually, they would have to talk. After all, they were on their way to the doctor's office to see about their baby. However, she just couldn't bring herself to speak. She knew that if she opened her mouth she would say some things that she would regret.
"Brooke, I-" Lucas finally got up enough courage talk to her. She didn't even react to his words, it was if she hadn't even heard him at all.
He continued anyway, "Brooke, I am sorry today. All of today. I know that I was pushing you too hard. I wasn't trying to 'fix' you. I just wanted to know that I never meant to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you. And today," He paused, trying to gauge how she was reacting to his speech, "with Peyton…she came up to me Brooke. I never would have flaunted that in front of your face. I'm not with her. We weren't right for each other. So you don't have to worry about that anymore."
He waited. And waited. The car seemed to slowly fill with emotion as Brooke tried to gather what she needed to say.
"Lucas, I don't care if you and Peyton are together, that's not something I can control. I'm angry because you cheated on me. The cheating is what hurts Lucas. Knowing that I wasn't good enough for you, knowing that now you are stuck with me, that you are only here because of this obligation. The things that hurt me Lucas, you can't take back or control. You can't help it if everytime I look at you all I do is wish that you would want me like you want her. You can't help that everytime I look at Peyton and you together, I realize that I was kidding myself. You and Peyton are prefect together. You can't help that we don't fit. You can't help that even though I know all of these things, my heart still aches for you. So Lucas, I'm not worried about you and Peyton being together, I thought I was but I'm not. I'm worried that the ache for you will never go away."
Silent tears were streaming down Brooke's face as she poured out her heart. She hadn't intented on reveiling so much to him, but for some reason the words couldn't stop falling from her mouth.
Lucas could barely breath as he pulled into the parking lot outside of the doctors office. He didn't even know how he had been able to keep driving as he listened to Brooke. He had never seen her let her guard all the way down, not even when she had told him she was pregnant. He honestly had no clue what to say to her.
"Brooke," He reached over and put his arm around her body, hoping that she would stop shaking. "I am so sorry. I know that you have heard that so many times that it had lost it's meaning, but it's true. Don't think for one second that you aren't good enough for me, Brooke, because I am the one who isn't good enough for you. I hate myself for hurting you Brooke, you don't know how much I want to take all that pain away from you. God Brooke-" He wiped the tears from her cheek, glad that she still wasn't pulling away from him. Looking at her, as she carefully kept her eyes locked on the floor, he realized how gorgeous she was. But he wasn't thikning about her apprearance, even though she was beautiful, he was thinking about her heart. He admitted that he had never gone far past the superficial before, and he couldn't believe how much regret was filling his body as he looked at her. The regret that told him that he had lost his chance. That even though, as he pulled her closer, he began to feel that ache that she had spoken of, it was too late.
While these thoughts and feelings were threatening to drown him, she finally looked at him. Her eyes were wet from tears, making them clear and bright, and he felt shivers go down his spine as he looked into them. She didn't say anything as she brought her warm hand to kiss face. If he had been having trouble breathing before, it was nothing compared to now. She slowly brought her lips to his and lightly, but fully, pressed them against his. As she pulled back, she smiled a litte, showing that there was more pain behind the smile than happiness.
"One last time." She whispered so lightly that Lucas barely heard her. Too many thoughts were jumping around in his head. Why with that one kiss had he felt more than anything else he had ever experienced? She gentlely pulled herself away from his grasp as she opened the car down and silently slid out.
Lucas could not move, literally. All her could hear in his head was "one last time, one last time." He watched her as she leaned against the car, probably trying just as hard to make sense of everything that had just happened.
"One last time," he thought as he finally managed to get himself out of the car. Had he ever heard anything more tragic? As he fell in step beside Brooke, who had seemed to pull up her guard again because she wasn't looking at him, he decided that no, he had never heard anyhting more tragic in his life.
