Naruto did not come to school the next day, or the day after that, or the day after that, and no gifts were waiting on Sakura's desk. She felt a twinge of conscience over Naruto's absence, but told herself it was probably unrelated. She did what she had to do… didn't she? No, she didn't worry much about the laughing boy's disappearance; her real fear was the lack of gifts.

It wasn't the gifts themselves, Sakura wasn't that shallow, it was the thought behind them. Especially before she had friends, the secret buddy was her most important person. How could they abandon her now? It was Sasuke, she was sure of it. Was it because of the Naruto thing? Was that why he thought her too lowly to pay attention to? But back when nobody else liked her, there had been presents. Sakura bit her lip. There was no point in dwelling on it, she decided. Everyone was allowed days off. She would just wait and see if presents came later.

Nothing was sitting on her desk the next day, or any day in the next week. Sakura slowly became more and more devastated. She knew she was a bit clingy and obsessive, even Ino had said so. She couldn't help it! She was just consumed with terror at the idea that everyone would abandon her again. Had she scared the gift-giver off? After almost two weeks of nothing from her secret buddy, Sakura threw caution to the wind. Feeling desperate, she neatly penned out a letter to her now-silent friend asking if she had offended them.

"Too my frend: Im sorry if I was bad! Do yoo hat me now? I didnt try to mak you sad or mad! Wat did I do? Pleez, pleez be happy with me! I need yoo!"

Choking back sobs, Sakura placed the letter on her desk.

xXxXxXx

Fingers shaking, Sakura picked up he paper on her desk. It was the one she had left. Her throat caught and tears filled her eyes. Why? Why was her friend doing this to her? How could they just ignore the letter? Maybe they never were her friend. Was it all a trap, like she had thought in the beginning? Sakura crumpled her note into a ball as she willed herself not to cry. She failed. Tears streaming down her face, she tore outside, slowing down next to a large tree. Leaning against it and sobbing, she could only be swallowed up in her pain.

It was worse then before Ino had found her, because she had always trusted the gift-giver most of all. Her faith was shaken down to the core. Dropping the crumpled note onto the wet grass, she clenched the bark of the tree and wailed. Finally her sobs subsided and she sunk into the swing attached to one of the branches.

Ino found her there, grabbed her hand, and pulled her to the teacher. "Sakura isn't feeling well, can I take her home?" The teacher nodded and motioned for them to leave before everyone came in for class.

xXxXxXx

Sakura was almost non-functional for a few days, but eventually things returned to normal. The winter started warming up, though it was only February. Eventually hope came back to Sakura. She laughed and talked with her friends, did her homework, and obsessed even more over Sasuke. Had he been her secret buddy? Did he hate her? He didn't act like it. He never spoke to her, but he was polite enough when she greeted him. Sakura was completely confused, but decided that even if he was the secret buddy who had betrayed her; she couldn't help but love him. She would forgive him,. She could forgive anything for Sasuke.

A thought occurred to her. Valentine's day was coming up. Would Sasuke give her something? She had to get him something special. Sakura immediately set to work thinking about it.

xXxXxXx

xXxXxXx

xXxXxXx

Naruto stared blankly at the ceiling. He didn't know how long he'd been lying on the bed, just that it had been a long time. Staring harder, he focused on a knothole in the wood above him. Since he could see the dark blotch, Naruto finally concluded it was daytime. Probably evening, since it was pretty dim. Then again, with the windows closed and lights off it always looked pretty dark.

Naruto blinked and turned on his side, trying not to think. Of course, the more he tried not to, the more he did. Why? Why did everyone hate him so much? How could Sakura- No. He wasn't going to think about that. He had already screamed and cried everything about that out. He had already melted down and surrendered to his own pain, ending with him breaking his mirror with his fist.

Naruto looked at his hand. It was already healed. He almost wished it wasn't. It was better to have an obvious source of hurt to focus on, so he wouldn't have to think about… no. Not thinking about that.

Breaking the mirror had been fun. He had been staring at his face in the reflection, wondering what about it caused people to automatically hate him. Then he did the first thing any child did when they were upset. He had a temper tantrum. The big difference was that nobody was around to stop him.

He had thrown plates, kicked objects, and finally thrust his fist into the face of the person he hated most. Himself. His reflection instantly disappeared as the mirror shattered. The noise and pain had scared Naruto, but not as much as realizing how angry he had been. He abruptly stopped and swallowed his rage, pulling his bloody hand back slowly and looking at it, his eyes wide. How had he gotten so out of control? Finally, he did the obvious thing. He burst into tears.

Huddled down on the floor, his face in his bloody hands, he vowed once again not to depend on anyone. But then the picture of Sakura's sweet face swam into his head. How could he hate her? His sobs subsiding, he eventually washed off his rapidly healing hand and face, then climbed into bed.

He had stayed there, not getting up to eat or answer Iruka's persistent knocking. He knew Iruka couldn't come in without Naruto wanting him to, there was a jutsu on the doorframe preventing intruders, so Naruto just ignored him. So he stayed completely still on the bed, now days, maybe weeks later.

Considering the time, Naruto decided he had probably gotten up to go to the bathroom and to eat. He just couldn't remember doing so. He was still unsure how long it had been. Long enough for him to stop feeling quite so depressed and to start feeling restless. He felt like going somewhere. Where? Maybe the playground. He liked the playground, especially the swing. It made him feel like he was flying.

Slowly, he sat up and got off the bed. Not bothering to put on shoes, he walked outside. It had apparently been late evening, since the sky was now black except for a bright full moon. He walked silently to the school, not even conscious of his surroundings. Stepping through the icy grass, he wished he had put on shoes. As he was about to sit on the swing, he stepped on something that wasn't as cold as everything else.

Leaning over, he picked up a piece of very ratty paper. It had gone through some apparently tough times, and Naruto started feeling sorry for it. Gently unfolding it, he saw there was writing on it.

"To my frend: Im sorry if I was bad! Do yoo hat me now? I didnt try to mak yoo sad or mad! Wat did I do? Pleez, pleez be happy with me! I need yoo!"

It was signed with a flower, and Naruto knew exactly whom it was for. He felt warmer inside. She still did care about him. Then, stomach twisting, he realized the other part. He made his decision.

Sakura only liked him when she didn't know who he was. But she really liked who she thought he was. So he would be both. He would be the person Sakura needed in writing and presents, but stay away from her as himself.

Taking a deep breath, Naruto clenched the letter in his hand and ran home. Valentine's Day was coming soon and he had to make it spectacular for her.

xXxXxXx

Author's Notes: Oh my gosh that was so angsty… I'm sorry! There are only a few more chapters, (two maybe three) before the story ends, and one of them might be pretty dark as well, but hopefully it will be a bit more sunshiny in places…

KK… it's Me Trying To Be A Psychiatrist Time! (cue groans) Here are my thoughts. One, Sakura is not trying to be a bad person or hurt anyone, she is just weak. She wants desperately to be liked, to the point of not understanding how much people are affected by her actions.

Two, on Naruto's temper tantrum thingy. I babysit a lot, and when little kids get really upset, they don't know how to stop. The freak themselves out more by freaking out, and it feeds on itself. I think having the kyuubi as an underground source of random rage probably doesn't help with that. So that was my reasoning. He's not supposed to be emo.