Hola, my beautiful readers! I don't have much of an author's note this time, so let me just say that I do not own Degrassi! If I did, why would I be writing Fan Fiction? This stuff would be canon, people.
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I didn't know what to expect as I slowly set myself in the chair between my parents. They continued to eye me with the utmost sympathy, but I couldn't fathom why; they had already divorced. That had been the worst possible news I could have received…wasn't it?
"Your father has something he needs to tell you, Clare," my mother started, placing her hand over my own and giving a comforting squeeze. "You have to promise to keep an open mind and remember that we must support each other, though."
"You guys are scaring me," I pointed out, whipping my head between my dad's ashamed, worried face and my mom's look of pity.
"Clare-bear," my dad sighed, placing his hand on top of Mom's over my own. "I got this really great job offer. I have been offered the position of partner at a reputable firm, Clare. They're willing to pay me double the salary I've been making…everything about this offer just seems God-sent."
I let out the breath that I had been holding in relief. "You guys really had me thinking that something bad was happening. Sheesh, Dad, that's great news! I'm so happy for you."
Neither my mother nor father's faces relaxed, though. They both still looked pained. "Clare, sweetie, that's not really what we sat you down to tell you," my mom explained gently and I leaned back in my chair.
"Oh, okay…so, what is?"
"The, um, this firm that I would be working at…it's, well, Clare, it's in Quebec."
It took me a moment to absorb what had been said, but once I had deduced the meaning the impact was rough. Perhaps it was my argument with Alli that had me on edge, or maybe it was the fact that they had neglected to keep me informed till it was too late for me to have an opinion. Whatever the reason, though, I immediately started to tear up, my mouth hung open in shock and I stuttered out my question. "And yo-you're taking this job, a-aren't you?" When Mom and Dad nodded in tandem, the tears started to roll down my face. "That's eight hours away, Dad…you-you can't!"
"Clare, it would be silly not to; this is an amazing opportunity for me!"
I shot out of my chair, knocking my chair over in the process. "I'm just getting used to this divorce!" I turned to my dad and pointed an accusing finger at him. "You promised, remember? You promised that this divorce would not break us apart as a family! But you're breaking you're promise; you're abandoning me and Mom! You can't be here for me if you're eight hours away!" I was vaguely aware that I was throwing a tantrum far below my maturity level…but I was just so upset, angry, disappointed, confused. The divorce had been okay when we still saw each other all the time. Now if would feel like a real divorce, though. Dad would be out of the picture completely…Mom would actually have to be a single parent. And I would never see him.
A frustrated sob broke free from my chest as I ran toward the stairs. I had to be alone; I didn't want to talk about my dad's great news for a second longer. "Clare, please, wait; we still have details we need to hash out," my mom called after me, but I simply slammed my bedroom door in response. I sunk down to the floor, lightly knocking my head against the door in attempt to beat out the information I had just received. It seemed like a good time to develop amnesia…
"I'm going to assume their news wasn't that great, huh?" Alli chirped from atop my bed. I looked up to find a sheepish look on her face and my journal in her hands. Frustrated and defeated, I let my head fall back again, pounding on the door much harder; I had forgotten about my roommate in all the shock of my dad's announcement. I really just wanted to be alone.
"I don't want to talk about it," I growled. It wasn't Alli's fault my dad was suddenly moving out of my life…I shouldn't take it out on her. But I felt like a loaded gun; ready to fire at the tiniest crook of a finger.
"Oh, okay…so, um, Clare, do you often write in your journal in the bathroom?"
It was such a strange question, and it immediately distracted me from the pity party I was holding for myself. I remember the night before, Alli had been tossing and turning, snoring loudly, and I couldn't fall asleep. That, combined with Sav's big news about college, had made me restless, so to get away from it all I decided to start a journal entry. Of course, it had been hard to concentrate with Alli being distracting as she was, so I had moved to the bathroom, shutting the door for some peace and quiet. I had forgotten that I left the journal in there…but there was no way I was telling Alli that. It would offend her, and though I was still a bit miffed at her, that was the last thing I wanted.
"No, not often…I was just in a weird mood last night," I offered weakly.
"Well…you should probably avoid leaving your journal in there from now on…"
Alli's tone finally caught my full attention; she refused to look me in the face. "Alli, what did you do…?"
"Clare, it was an accident, I swear! Like, I am such a total klutz, and I am so, so sorry. I'll buy you a new journal, just please don't be mad at me." Alli cringed, waiting for my reaction, but I was still confused as to why Alli looked so guilty.
Then the meaning of her words sunk into my head, taking on concrete relevancy. "Why do I need a new journal, Alli?"
Alli gulped, still not looking me in the eye. I stood from my spot on the ground, but made no more move to approach her. I was frozen, waiting for an explanation.
"I didn't want to, like, eavesdrop on you and your parents, so I put in my headphones, right? And my favorite song came on, so I started to dance around your room. I, um, danced my way into your bathroom…and, well I know you put the seat down on the toilet, but I'm not used to that because Sav never does….but anyway, I guess I was the last one to use it. So, like, your journal was on the edge of the counter, so I must have knocked it while I was dancing…and it went into the toilet," Alli cringed, and spit out the rest of her words without taking a single breath. "But it wasn't in there for long, and I got it out right away, and I dried it off, so there are only a few pages that blurred, but it's still kind of gross, so I'll buy you a new one! I am so, so, so sorry, Clare! Please don't kill me!"
On any other day I would have understood. On any other day I would have let her off the hook; hugged her and told her it was just a journal. On any other day I would have laughed it off with her, poking fun at Alli for managing to take clumsiness to a new level.
But it was not any other day. And Alli's news was enough to pull the trigger on my loaded gun.
I was a bullet, and Alli was my target.
"Get out of my house, Alli; it's time for you to leave!"
Alli looked stunned for a second, but then I saw the tears well in her eyes. "Wait, Clare, what? I know you're attached to your journal, but-,"
I cut her off, not wanting to hear a second more of what she had to say. "It's high-time you went home," I growled. "I am sick and tired of your messiness. You never do as I ask, and it is my room, Alli! You leave your clothes all over the floor for me to trip over, you leave my bathroom a mess, and I can't sleep at night because you roll around the bed and you snore! I am sick and tired of having you hogging my space…I need somewhere where I can just be by myself! You need to go home, Alli. Talk to your parents because I can't have you here anymore!"
The tears were streaming down her face, but I didn't stick around to hear whatever defense she had. I turned on my heel and fled down the stairs. As I approached the front door I could hear my parents calling after me in confusion, demanding that I listen to what they had to say. But I was done listening. I was done with the people in my life. If I couldn't go to my room to be alone I would find someplace else; someplace far away.
As I angrily stalked off down the sidewalk, my fury started to wane, burning away with every step that I took. Soon enough, as the angry bitterness started to melt away, it left room for a more pressing emotion- guilt.
Alli hadn't really deserved any of the words that I had slung at her; she wasn't the person I had been frustrated with. Not to mention, I had been pretty cruel to her; unfair. Nothing I had said was untrue, but the way I had blown up on her was unnecessary.
Almost as unnecessary as the way I had treated my parents…
By the time I reached the park, I was more depressed and upset than pissed. I collapsed on the first bench I spotted, dropping my head in my hand and letting the tears stream down my face. How could I have been so selfish; so stupid? It was never pretty when I let my emotions get the best of me, but, to make matters worse, instead of fixing my problems, I was hiding from them. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to start the walk home. I was still upset at more than just myself, and I didn't have the sanctuary of my room to go to pieces. So I had to do it in public…
I didn't know how much time passed before I heard the steady thump-thump, thump-thump of an approaching jogger. I kept my head down, hoping whoever it was would pay me no mind as I continued to cry out my frustrations.
Apparently it wasn't my day, though, because the rhythm of the steps faltered at I heard them grow louder. "Clare…is that you?"
My head snapped up immediately to find the very last person I had wanted to see in that moment.
Eli stood before me, wiping off the sweat from his forehead with his arm, before checking his pulse. He was wearing sweatpants, old, worn running shoes….and no shirt.
My eyes were immediately drawn to the exposed flesh of his toned stomach…if I had found him attractive before…well, there was no way the image of shirtless, sweaty Eli would ever leave my head. Dammit.
"E-Eli," I stuttered foolishly. "Wh-what are you doing here?" I forced my eyes to leave his subtle, but evident, abs and look him in the eye. Worst idea ever…he was smirking knowingly at me. Double dammit.
But, when he got a good look at my swollen eyes, the smirk slipped off his face in an instant. "Have you been crying, Clare?"
I cleared my throat and averted my eyes. I didn't want to do this; not with Eli of all people. 'Dear God, why now; why today? Are you testing me or something?' I silently thought to myself before answering Eli's question.
"What gave me away; the tears?"
My attempt at sarcasm was frail, at best, and Eli shook his head before sitting down beside me on the bench. "You don't have to pretend you're strong like that, Edwards. A simple yes would have been fine…either way I'm going to sit here till you tell me what's wrong."
I sighed, hating him for caring, while swooning all the same. 'Sav,' I reminded myself before I proved Alli's worries to be justified. 'What would Sav think…?'
"What makes you think that I'll tell you what's wrong?"
"Because usually when people cry they're upset, and sharing seems to help in most cases. I want to help, Clare; talk to me. You were fine at school…don't tell me this is about the possibility of Sav going off to the U.S. for college. Because, even if he gets in, he may not decide to go, so there's no reason to get so worked up about it now."
I let out a small chuckle at Eli's absurd assumption and his attempt at giving advice, swiping away the last few tears that slid down my face. "My life doesn't revolve around Sav, you know. That's not even close to what has me so worked up."
"Shot in the dark," Eli shrugged and then leaned in to lightly bump me with his shoulder. "I got you to smile, though."
"That you did," I mumbled, distracted by the fact that his naked shoulder had just touched me.
"So are you going to tell me what's wrong, or have you interrupted my jog for nothing?"
"You stopped of your own accord," I pointed out defensively.
"Sheesh, Edwards, relax; I know that. Seriously, what has your panties in a bundle?"
I sighed, not sure that spilling my guts to Eli would be helpful. On one hand, we had gotten so close in the past few weeks. On the other, I still knew nearly nothing about him. Still, he was offering, and I kind of did want a second opinion. Not to mention Eli had only been present for a few minutes and he had already managed to put me in a better mood. There was just something about him that made me feel saner when I was near him…ignoring the fact that I was hopelessly nervous every time he was around. Especially, it would seem, when he was shirtless…
"Okay, so I told you all about my parents' divorce, right?"
Eli cocked his head at me. "You mean that extremely civil arrangement your family came to that barely constitutes as divorce; yeah, I remember it," he smirked at me, and I really wanted to hit him.
"If you're going to listen to my problems could you at least pretend like you're not an asshole for the moment?"
"Erm…that's quite a challenge," Eli scrunched his face to portray mock effort. "But, I suppose it's worth a shot."
"You're making it really hard for me to want to spill my guts to you."
"Well, good, I prefer if you kept all your internal organs…well, internal."
I rolled my eyes at his goofiness. "You're just really bad at this."
Eli took a deep breath and then turned back to me. "Okay, seriously, talk to me. I won't be an idiot anymore."
I wanted to make another joke about how he was incapable of such a thing, but Eli was staring at me with such sincerity and compassion in his haunted eyes that I couldn't resist; I broke down once again. "My dad's moving, Eli," I mumbled into my hands, not wanting him to see me cry. "I'm never going to see him again. It'll be like a real divorce."
I felt Eli's hand gently come in contact with my back, right between my shoulder blades. Then, after a few moments, he shifted closer to me, applied more pressure, and started to rub tentative, soothing circles. "How far away is he moving?" he asked after my tears started to slow again, his hand never stopping while I cried myself dry.
"Quebec…eight hours away from here..."
"I hate to sound like a snob, Edwards, but I'm sure you'll still see him. You could visit him on weekends, he could come here from time to time…he is your dad. I doubt he'll be able to forget about his amazing daughter, so he'll be around. It won't be the same, but I'm sure he has a good reason for moving…?" Eli trailed off, leaving the statement open ended, like a question, so that I might hop in and finish his thought.
"He got an amazing job offer to be a partner in a budding firm down there. It's going to pay well, and all that jazz."
Eli continued rubbing his palm across my back and tried to make his voice as gentle as possible. "Then do you really think it's fair to be this upset about it? You should try to be happy for him, Clare. I'm sure your mother and him wouldn't have even considered the offer if it wasn't the best thing for your family. From what I hear they care about you way too much."
Eli was right. So horribly, obviously right that I wanted to run home that instant and fall to my knees in repentance. Then I would hug both my parents so tight…I would miss my dad, no doubt, but he wanted this. It wouldn't be fair of me to throw a tantrum. Well, aside from the one that I had already thrown.
"Thanks for putting it in perspective, Eli. I…well I really needed that."
He smiled brightly and, much to my forbidden disappointment, removed his hand from where it had been sliding lower to the small of my back. "No problem, Clare," his words were so sincere that I couldn't help but smile fondly back at him. I was caught up in the moment, but thankfully, my subconscious was used to saving me; the image of Sav's face flashed into my head bringing with it a surge of instant guilt. Of course, right along with Sav, came Alli, and the guilt intensified. I wasn't sure what exactly my face had given away as my thoughts tumbled along frantically, but Eli's eye seemed to catch every subtle flicker. "Is there anything else you want to talk about?"
I cringed lightly, not really wanting to relive my meltdown. "It's nothing," I assured him. Alli and I were best friends, and I already knew I screwed that one up…but if anyone knew how to fix it, it would be me. Eli wouldn't be much help on that front.
He raised his eyebrows at me, clearly sensing that it wasn't 'nothing', but it seemed as if he would drop it. "Okay, well, I'll leave you to it, then. See you tomorrow, Clare." With a heart-stopping smirk in my direction he started to get up from the bench, presumably to resume his jog.
"Wait!" Unthinkingly, I latched onto his arm, pulling him back down, and he basically collapsed on top of me.
The breath rushed out of his lungs in a swoosh when his back hit my knee roughly. "Jesus, Edwards, there are easier ways to get close to me," he choked out, looking up at me with an amused smirk despite the position he was in.
"Shut up," I laughed, shoving him off my lap. He stood up again, raising his eyebrows in question. "I just want to thank you again…you know, for listening and stuff." I blushed as Eli smiled. He was opening his mouth to say something, but I gathered my courage and cut him off. "Why haven't I been able to listen to you? You know, you never talk to me about your life."
His face fell immediately. "I…look, you've been a great friend," Eli ran his hand through his hair nervously before catching my gaze and holding it. "But I'm not ready to talk to anyone about what my life is like. I mean, I just…I can't do it yet, okay? But, um, don't give up on me, Clare…please, just trust me."
He looked so broken that I couldn't help but feel shattered just by looking at him. And, strangely, I did trust him. "I understand. But you know I'm here for you when you are ready, right?"
He nodded. "Yeah, that's what seems to set you apart from everyone else," he whispered, so softly that I could have misheard. His eyes flashed with some emotion that was gone before I had the chance to identify it and he covered up the broken boy with his cynical smirk once again. Louder, he added, "Well, I better get back to my jog. I have to get to work later, and I don't want to be late."
"Where do you work?" I couldn't help the need to squelch my curiosity though Eli suddenly looked antsy to get going. It was just that he had never mentioned a job before, and I instantly latched onto the shred of new information.
"In due time, Edwards; in due time…see tomorrow morning," he repeated, waving as he started off jogging before I had the chance to answer.
I sighed as I watched him go, my eyes traveling across his lean body in action. I shook my head angrily at my stupidity, getting up and walking in the opposite direction; toward home. I prepared myself for the major amounts of groveling I would have to do as soon as I made it inside. But it wasn't like the people I had blown up on didn't deserve an apology; especially Alli. My harsh words had been especially unnecessary, and I had to let her know that she was still welcome as long as she needed to stay.
I reached my door just as the sun was starting to set, swallowed my pride, and then walked in. Things were peculiarly quiet, but my mother was on the couch watching the news quietly as I locked the door behind me.
"Um, where's dad?" I asked her sheepishly, rocking back on my heels nervously.
"He had to leave a little bit ago; he had an important meeting to attend."
Her tone was just slightly icy, but it was enough to send chills down my spine.
"Mom, I'm really sorry about the way I acted, okay? I just…it was a lot to digest on the spot like that. But I want Dad to be happy, and if he has to move to Quebec to do that, I will support him 100 percent."
"You should tell him that," she pointed out, but her tone had softened and she turned to smile at me. "We're not upset with you, Clare. We were a little taken aback by your reaction, but you act with such maturity, that we often forget you're only a teenager. We knew we should have told you about the possibility of your father moving as soon as he got the offer…but he will be happy to hear that you're going to be supportive."
I nodded, a few traitor tears sliding down my cheeks again. I had sworn there was nothing left for me to cry…
My mother swiftly got up from the couch and pulled me in for a tight embrace. I hugged back, clutching onto her with all my might. "I'm going to miss him," I whimpered into her chest.
"I am, too, sweetie. Even after the divorce your father has been there for me no matter what. There will be a lot of adjusting that must be done…we'll have to figure out the living arrangements. We thought it would be nice for you to spend every other weekend in Quebec, but we won't set any kind of schedule."
I nodded; it all sounded exactly like I had been picturing it in my head…a lot less time with Dad. But we would work things out; we were strong.
"That sounds nice," I commented vaguely before pulling away from my mother. "Is Alli still here, by any chance?"
"Why would she have left?" My mom suddenly looked so confused that relief instantly washed over me. This had been the easy part…now it was time for the hard apology.
"Oh, never mind…I just have to go talk to her. I love you, Mom; I'm sorry for the way I acted earlier."
"You're forgiven, dear. I'll have dinner ready in an hour, okay?" she asked, already headed for the kitchen.
"Sounds great," I called down the stairs, already halfway to my bedroom. I pushed open my door to find Alli calmly seated on my bed…sitting next to her packed suitcase. "Alli, no, let me explain; I am so sorry about everything I said. My parents had just told me that my dad was moving away to Quebec and you had been all over me about Eli before that…I let my emotions carry me away, but I didn't mean anything I said to you; not really. I love you, Alli, and if you need to stay here longer, you can. There's no expiration date on the offer. I was awful to you, but let me make it up; just stay!"
"Yeah …you were kind of awful," Alli started, but her tone wasn't the harsh one that I had been expecting. "But your mom already told me what happened…and nobody is perfect, right? I'll forgive you. Maybe not today, but I am more hurt than angry…mostly, I want to thank you; you were right, you know."
"About what, exactly?" I stuttered out, completely flabbergasted that Alli's tone was so level. I would never know what I had done to deserve the amazing people in my life, but they surely treated me better than I deserved. I should have had to beg, cry and grovel. Why was she so understanding?
"About needing to go home; I miss my bed, Clare. I miss my room. I miss having Sav down the hall…most of all, I miss my parents. I really want to work things out with them. I've been here, what, three weeks? I haven't even so much as seen them let alone spoke to them. You were right when you said it was time to talk. You've been wonderful, today aside, but I really need to go home and actually have a conversation with my parents."
I simply nodded; Alli knew what was best for her, and if she felt like going home was best, then I wouldn't argue. I just hoped beyond hope that I didn't push her into it before she, or her parents were ready. I would hate for them to have another blow up on my account.
"If things don't go well, Alli, you know you can come back, right?"
Alli laughed lightly, getting up from the bed and pulling me into a hug. "I know, Clare; let's just hope I don't need to." I laughed back in a wholehearted agreement. "Anyway, I called them about ten minutes ago; they should be coming any minute."
"I'm really sorry, Alli," I murmured once more.
"I know you are…don't beat yourself up about it. Just wish me luck," she added when we heard a car horn beep from the street.
"Good luck! They've probably missed you, so I shouldn't be too hard to come to a middle ground, right?"
Alli sighed, giving me another quick hug. "I sure hope so." She didn't sound so sure, but, still, she moved to grab one of her full bags. I grabbed the second and we made our way down the steps. "Thank you for everything, Mrs. Edwards," Alli called toward the kitchen.
My mom rounded the corner, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. "You're leaving, sweetie?"
"Yeah, I, uh, called my parents finally. I miss them. But you have been beyond helpful, and I love you! It's been so great of you to let me stay here for so long."
"Oh, Alli, you know I think of you as a second daughter," my mom smiled, pulling her in for a hug before releasing Alli and draping an arm around my shoulder. "I am glad you're going home, though; you and your family really need to fix whatever is broken."
Alli nodded and, after a few more thank you's, I helped her lug her bags out to the car. I waved at Mr. and Mrs. Bhandari, who gave me fond smiles in turn. Alli gave me one last hug, promised to see me in school the next day, and then got in the car. They pulled away from the curb and it felt weird to know that when I walked back into my room, I would be alone. As much as she had bugged me for the weeks that she had been in my room, I hadn't realized I would miss her constant presence in my life; always there when I needed her.
Of course, that was a bit melodramatic. Alli was still always there when I needed her.
"Hey, Clare, dinner's ready," my mom popped her head out the door, beckoning me to come join her. I smiled and ran back inside. "Things will sure be much quieter in here without Alli," my mom joked.
"No kidding," I laughed, grabbing two glasses from the cabinet and filling them with water before joining my mother at the table.
"She's a strong girl for going back, that's for sure."
"Yeah," I smiled, sighing, "She really is."
XXX
I was running a bit late the next day, so I texted Sav in the morning to let him know that they should leave for school without coming to get me.
Since it was the first night in a while that I didn't have Alli in my bed to contend with, I slept soundly…right through my alarm, in fact.
"Mom?" I called frantically down the stairs, "Can you give me a ride to school?"
"Shouldn't you have left already?" She called back
"Yes, hence why I need a ride!"
"I am leaving in 10 minutes," she appeared at the head of the stairs. "Be ready."
Without saying a word I flew back into my room, brushed my teeth at breakneck pace and slipped on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. My bed head was proving impossible to control so I pulled my hair back in a messy ponytail, trying my best to tame the strands of hair that continued to stick straight in the air. I grabbed my backpack and purse and got to the front door just as my mother was leaving, suitcase in hand. She simply nodded at me, impressed.
When we arrived at Degrassi I gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Thanks for the ride; I love you." Without waiting to hear what she would say I flew out of the car and toward the school, checking my watch quickly to see that there was only fifteen minutes left in first period. I signed in with the office, got my late slip, and quietly, quickly found my desk. The teacher didn't even seem to notice, so caught up talking about polynomials, but Alli raised an eyebrow at me, taking in my choice of wardrobe. I shook my head subtly at her in a 'don't ask' kind of way.
I tried to catch up as much as possible, my hand flying across the page of my notebook, but I didn't get very far before the bell rang.
"You look cute," Alli snarked, poking me in the side.
I ignored her; there was a much more pressing issue to talk about. "What happened with your parents last night?"
A small smile tugged the corners of Alli lips upward and I took that as a good sign. "I'll tell you all about it at lunch," she promised. "I…I have to go find Drew right now, though."
"Oh, okay; have fun," I winked at her before heading to my locker.
"Have you been taking fashion tips from Oscar the grouch again, Edwards?" I heard a familiar voice pop up behind me.
"Very funny," I rolled my eyes at Eli. "I woke up late this morning, thank you very much." We stopped at our lockers and I shoved my backpack inside, pulling out my English binder. "Do I really look that frumpy, though?" I asked, suddenly self-conscious.
Eli took a moment too long to scan my body with his eyes, a satisfied smirk appearing on his face. I shivered a little, hating how it made me feel, but loving it all at the same time. "You know it doesn't really matter what you wear, Clare. You're still basically the prettiest girl I've ever seen."
His honesty caught me off guard, and the words themselves made me melt a little. Of course, it didn't help that he was staring at me with those eyes- letting his guard down, all his misery and sincerity laid out for me to see. I couldn't get carried away; I had to say something, anything, that would put the atmosphere back where it was supposed to be.
"Well, who cares what you think," I chuckled lightly, the sound slightly off. Eli's smirk grew more pronounced.
"There are so many things I could say right now, but I'm not even going to go there."
I stuck my tongue out at Eli, slamming my locker close. We started down the hall together when, suddenly, I felt an arm around my waist. I looked up to see Sav giving me a small smile. "Can we go somewhere to talk?"
"We both have class in a minute…"
"Student council president, remember? I can get you in late without any hassle."
I had totally forgotten about Eli's presence until he scoffed at Sav's comment. "Oh, but English just won't be the same without you!" His voice was thick with sarcasm and, as always when Sav came around, Eli put up his invisible barriers again.
"Dude," Sav's voice was calm, but there was a hint of irritation. "Do you really have to be so sassy all the time?"
Eli laughed. "No, but life is more fun that way. Anyway, have fun playing house. I'll see you at lunch."
I waved after him and then turned to Sav. "What did you want to talk about?" He shook his head, grabbing hold of my hand and lugging me toward the Student Council office. Once we were inside, Sav locked the door and then turned to me, his expression unreadable. "Sav, you're kind of freaking me out; what is it?"
"I don't know whether I should be mad at you or if I should thank you."
I sighed, understanding. "You could do both," I joked.
"Okay…let me start by being mad. Clare, you kicked Alli out of your house!"
"That's not…entirely accurate," I tried, "but it's not like I don't feel the requisite guilt for everything I said."
Sav took a deep breath, let it out loudly, and then crossed over to where I was standing. He pulled me down onto the couch, grabbing my hands and keeping them in his. "I figured…and I don't want to play the blame game or point fingers. It's just that I told you to tell me when things got to be too much. I would have worked something else out, or whatever."
"I know and I'm sorry. It's just…yesterday was a bad day for me. My dad got a job in Quebec, Sav. He's moving away, and the news caught me off guard. I didn't mean to kick Alli out, but I got a little crazy."
"Clare," Sav's voice was saturated with sympathy and he pulled me onto his lap for a bone crushing hug. "I am so sorry to hear that," he kissed the top of my head lightly.
"Thanks," I said, relaxing into his chest. "But, still, it's not an excuse for how awful I treated Alli, and I know that. How did your parents react?"
"I think, since they've had so much time away from the situation, everything was pretty calm. We all had a long family talk last night, and we came to a compromise. They won't be so hard on Alli anymore and Alli promised to try and see things from their perspective more often. Which is why I wanted to thank you; things have never been better at the Bhandari pad."
"That is really great news," I snuggled closer to him. It was moments like these that made me remember why I fell in love with Sav. It was moments like these that made me wonder why I ever felt a pull toward Eli in the first place when Sav was so perfect. "I'm glad everything worked out." Everything was silent for a moment and Sav started to rub up and down my back. "Who needs class anyway?"
Sav laughed loudly. "This is nice…and I'm not doing anything important in science today."
"And I love Miss Dawes, but I don't think I'll miss much if I skip one lecture." Sav smiled, leaned down and pressed his lips lightly to mine. He was about to pull away when I grabbed onto his shirt to pull him close again. "Where do you think you're going; I'm not done with you!"
Happy to oblige, Sav started to deepen the kiss, intensity building in the air. My breathing patterns started to become irregular as Sav's soft lips continued to move over my own. I sighed happily, forgetting where I was for the moment. Sav's hand slowly traveled to the hem of my t-shirt, playing with the fabric there before he skimmed his fingertips lightly over the skin of my stomach just past the thin barrier. I shivered, reveling in the feeling of his cold skin on my heated flesh. I let my own hands tangle in the hair at the nape of Sav's neck, giving a light tug.
"God, Clare, we have to stop," Sav whispered hoarsely, breaking away from the kiss. "As much as I would love to do this for the rest of the day…we are at school…and you should go to class."
I groaned. "Look who decided to be the responsible one."
"The children are our future; stay in school!"
I giggled, getting up from the couch, "If I must." With one last, quick kiss I left for class.
The rest of the morning proved to be uneventful. The classes passed by ordinarily, and, as it turned out, I could have skipped English. Dawes wasn't there and the sub was a helpless pushover, so the class spent the period loudly chatting as Eli and I discussed the last short story we had been assigned.
When lunch rolled around Sav, Eli and I sat down at our usual table, Alli and Drew the only two missing, but it was normal for them to be late. Eventually, though, Alli rushed over, her eyes red and puffy.
"Alli, what happened?" Sav asked in immediate concern, stealing the words right from my mouth.
"It's nothing, really," Alli assured us, sitting down in her spot next to Eli. "Drew just took the breakup worse than I had imagined, and that made it much harder. I never thought I would see Drew Torres cry."
"Wait, you broke up with Drew?" I asked incredulously.
"Weren't you two in love just yesterday?" Eli added, no trace of sarcasm in his voice for once.
"Well, I had a long talk with my parents yesterday," Alli started, but I wanted to save her the trouble of explaining something I already knew about.
"Sav told me all about it," I interjected.
"And you don't need to elaborate on my behalf; I don't really care all that much," Eli pointed out, smiling slightly at Alli civilly.
"Okay, well, I feel like this is our chance to rebuild our relationship, you know? We have this opportunity to come out the other end of this fight stronger than ever. And…it's kind of inspired me to rebuild myself in a way. I want to find out who I am, and to do that, I have to learn what it's like to be independent from boys. I really like Drew, but it's time for a new, stronger Alli."
I reached across the table to place my hand over hers. "I am really proud of you, Alli." She smiled brightly back at me, and, even though she hadn't officially forgiven me yet, I knew we were going to be okay.
"Mom and Dad are sure to be thrilled," Sav joked, but I could see that he was proud of her, too. It was a side of Alli that I had never seen before, but I really liked it. She was so strong, and I realized that, though I had always thought of myself as the mature one in our friendship, I had a lot I could learn from Alli.
I scooted in closer to Sav, clasping his hand under the table. As usual, I saw Eli's eyes catch every display of affection that passed between Sav and me with an unreadable expression.
Maybe I had to learn when it was time to hold on, and when it was time to let go.
