I gotta quit using BTE quotes before this becomes a thing and I'm stuck with them for the rest of the story.
Not that I don't love BTE, but I'm trying to stick to music made before 2000, so I'm a little limited.
no one knows your name
no one hears your cry
fall in with the fringe
because they know what you're going through
they do
Better Than Ezra, "Teenager"
Monday was algebra day, and she wasn't looking forward to it because both Juice and TJ were in her class. It was first period, so at least she'd be getting it over with early, but still. She needed to keep them apart, because she knew if TJ made any sort of move toward her at all, there'd be nothing she could do to stop Juice from jumping him.
And that would be a disaster.
She might have overstated things a little Friday night, but she'd wanted to make sure he understood the gravity of the situation. TJ was a brat, and his father was powerful; that could be a nasty combo.
She slept through her alarm, something she'd maybe done only once before in her life, and then she was completely dressed before she realized her shirt had a hole in it and she had to start all over. She didn't bother with makeup, except a little mascara because she never left the house without it, and a quick slick of lipgloss. Her hair she tied up in a messy bun, and she was running out the door when the bus went by.
"Goddammit," she muttered.
That meant she'd have to talk her dad into letting her drive the Cougar. She'd been avoiding him all weekend. It hadn't been hard, because she'd been asleep by the time he got home Friday, and he was still asleep when she got up to hit the shop (Mr. Collins hadn't been happy at being dragged out of bed at seven AM on a Saturday, but she knew he was happy to see her working), and then he was at work by the time she got home Saturday evening. He went to church most Sundays, something she skipped out on due to an overwhelming lack of belief in any higher power, and she was locked in her room catching up on homework until she fell asleep.
Now she had to ask him for the car, and he would want to know why TJ hadn't picked her up, and no matter what she said it would at least partially be a lie. She could either go full lie and say he had early practice and she'd forgotten, or she could go little lie and say they'd broken up, but not tell him why.
The latter option was tougher, but better in the long run.
When he saw her peeking around the kitchen doorway he folded his paper and set it aside. "Was wondering if you were going to show for breakfast this morning. I feel like I haven't seen you in a year."
"Sorry," she said and sat down across from him. "Busy weekend. Football game Friday night, expo entries due Saturday, then a ton of homework to get done yesterday."
"It's okay, pumpkin. I know you're busy." He frowned and glanced at his watch. "Aren't you usually gone by now?"
"Yeah," she said, drawing the syllable out. "I missed the bus."
"The bus? Where's TJ?"
She fiddled with her spoon. "We broke up."
He pulled off his reading glasses and fixed her with a long look. He scanned her face, noting the dark circles beneath her eyes she hadn't tried to hide, and, of course the slight swelling of her mouth. "Olivia. Sweetheart. I'm only going to ask you this once, and I would like for you to tell me the truth."
She lifted her eyes to meet his, and the amount of worry and love there squeezed her heart. She knew she couldn't lie to him, not when he looked at her like that. "Okay, Daddy," she murmured.
His breath caught a little as he drew it in. "Baby, what happened to your lip?"
She couldn't bear to look at him, and her gaze flicked away. Her chin trembled, and when she finally spoke her voice was shaky and thick. "TJ happened."
His face went hard as granite. "He hit you, Olivia? Did that boy hit you?"
"No," she whispered.
"Olivia—"
"He didn't!" she said. She took a deep breath. "Dad, listen. I was already planning to break up with him Friday night, but then he got—a little rough. I kneed him in the junk and told him to stay way from me. A friend of mine brought me home, and—that's basically the story."
His mouth twitched. "You…you kneed him in the junk."
"Yes. I didn't appreciate the grabbing."
"You amaze me sometimes, Ollie." He shook his head and rubbed a hand over his face. "I'm sorry, pumpkin. He seemed like a real nice kid."
"Well, yeah. They all do, in front of the dad."
He fiddled with his glasses and frowned down at the table. "I know I've been hard on you lately, and I don't really understand your art or what it means to you, but you need to know how proud I am of you. You have so much potential, sweetheart. I don't want you to waste it in Charming."
"I know, Daddy. Believe me, I don't want to stick around here either. I've been working hard and my grades are good. And Mr. Collins said I should apply for some art scholarships, like maybe at the Rhode Island School of Design, or SCAD."
"Rhode Island? And isn't SCAD in Georgia?"
"Savannah, yeah. But, I mean, it doesn't get much further from Charming—right?"
His mouth quirked. "That's true." He hesitated. "Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but aren't there any good art schools on this side of the Mississippi? Otis, maybe?"
"Otis is in LA. Dad, how do you know so much about art schools? How did you know SCAD was in Savannah?"
"Ah, well, you know. I—I've done my homework."
She tilted her head. "Homework. About art schools. For me?"
He lifted his hands in a sort of I give up shrug. "I told you I don't get it, but you love it and it makes you happy. That's what matters."
She grinned and threw her arms around him. "Have I told you this week how much I love you?"
"Don't think so."
"You're the best. Really. And I do."
"I know you do, pumpkin. I love you too."
She pulled away and went to grab the Cougar's keys.
"Tara brought you home Friday?" he called after her with a sudden frown.
"Ah, no. There's this new kid in school? His name's Juice. He's been hanging with us, and after I ditched TJ I ran into him and asked for a ride."
His brows drew together. "Juice? What kind of name is Juice?"
"I don't know. A nickname. I haven't asked him the real thing." She glanced at the clock on the microwave. "As much as I enjoy our bonding time, I'm gonna be late. Can I take the Cougar?" She shook the keys at him and grinned.
"All right," he said. "Fill it up before you bring it back."
"Thanks, Dad," she said and patted his hand. He flipped it over and grabbed her fingers before she could pull away.
"I wish you'd told me, Ollie."
"I didn't want you to worry."
"I'm the parent, sweetheart. You let me decide what to worry about. Okay?"
She managed a weak smile. "Yeah. Okay. I'll see you tonight."
"Sure, pumpkin. Have a good day at school. And drive careful!"
"Yes, Daaad!" she called over her shoulder.
She was glad to get to the car. She loved her father more than anyone on earth, and having to look him in the face and admit even part of what TJ had done to her had been incredibly hard. She gripped the steering wheel and took a long breath through her nose. The familiar smells of old tobacco, vinyl, and peppermint were comforting. She felt like a different person in this car: stronger, braver, smarter. It was like her Batmobile.
She dug through the box of tapes stashed under the seat and shoved one in the cassette player. Her dad had installed it years ago, and she figured one day soon she'd have to rip it out and replace it with CDs—but that felt weird. For now she'd make do with her tapes, at least until the technology became completely antiquated and nobody released tapes anymore.
She cranked up Nirvana and pulled out of the drive. She was going to be late. Maybe miss homeroom completely, which meant being late for first period and algebra.
Or she could just skip. Take the day and go do something else. She could get Tara to write her a note tomorrow; Tara was the queen of everyone's handwriting, and she forged all their notes and signatures and crap.
Except—her dad might notice the extra miles on the odometer. He trusted her, and he didn't usually check up on her like that, but if she went anywhere half decent, it would be a big enough spike to be noticeable. The last thing she wanted to do was lay off school just to stick around Charming.
She could go to the garage. Gemma took Mondays off, so she wouldn't be there. Except Chibs might be, and when it came to school lectures Chibs was the fucking worst. He'd spent his teens blowing shit up with the IRA, but the second he even got a whiff of one of them cutting they heard about it for a fucking week.
"Avoidance breeds suffering," she muttered. She had to face TJ sometime. Might as well get it over with.
She finally found a parking spot at the very back of the student lot, and she ran inside just as the first bell rang. Homeroom was over—she'd hear about that later—but she had time to get to algebra. Barely. Her ass hit the seat at the same time as second bell, and she let out a long breath of relief.
Juice sat a row over and a seat in front, catty corner to her, and he twisted around to give her a look. She smiled. He returned it tentatively. Something about his face worried her, and she did a quick check to make sure her shirt wasn't on backwards or wrong side out or anything.
The room was mostly quiet as Mrs. Hanson shuffled through a stack of papers on her desk. Monday was quiz day, so they were all braced for it. Slowly, furtively, a tide of whispers flowed from desk to desk. Olivia wasn't paying attention; she had her book out and was doing a quick review for the quiz, but she felt a sort of prickling on the back of her neck like you do when you know someone's watching.
She glanced up and nearly every eye in the room—except Mrs. Hanson's—was on her. She brushed a hand over her face. No cereal stuck to it. Her lip was still swollen, but not much, so surely that wasn't attracting all this attention. She looked at Juice, and now his expression sent a shiver of fear and apprehension through her.
"What?" she mouthed silently.
His brow furrowed and he shook his head once, hard and quick. The girl next to her was giving her the evil eye, and when her gaze locked on TJ—he'd been moved to the other side of the room when she reshuffled seats a few weeks ago—he wore a huge smirk, like a fox who'd just raided the henhouse.
Oh God. What had he done?
She didn't have time to worry about it, because at that moment Mrs. Hanson cleared her throat and the class fell quiet. She passed out the quizzes, and Olivia spent the next half hour in an agony of quadratic equations. She actually really loved math, and she was good at it, but every once in a while it just gave her a headache. Today was apparently one of those days.
By the time the bell finally rang she was jumping out of her skin, nervous and twitchy and strung-out. Nobody spoke to her. When people passed her desk they made sure not to touch it, and they all glared at her like she was a leper.
Juice lingered in the doorway to wait, and by the time she had her bag packed the room had mostly emptied out. She grabbed his arm and pulled him in between two banks of lockers. "Okay, what the fuck is going on?" she hissed.
He frowned and wouldn't meet her eyes. "You were late this morning," he said.
"Yeah, I missed the bus and had to talk my dad into letting me take the Cougar. What does that have to do with anything?"
"Hey, Ortiz!" a guy called out. "You gettin' a taste? Make sure you use a rubber!"
Her mouth fell open. "What was that?"
"Ummm…"
"Yo, Juice!" someone else said. "I call next!"
She spun around and shoved the guy against a locker. He had about six inches on her, but she was furious. And strong, from hauling around scrap metal and car parts.
"Who the fuck are you and why the fuck do you think you have a right to say shit like that to me?" she said.
He leered. "Heard you like it rough. Didn't know you'd wanna go right here in the hall, but, hey, I'm down."
She pulled her hand back to slap him, but Juice grabbed her around the waist and hauled her away. "Come on," he said. "Not worth it."
"Let me go, Ortiz! Let me go!"
"Yeah, Ortiz, let her go!" the first guy hooted. "Let someone else get a turn."
Suddenly Opie and Jax appeared from out of nowhere. Opie crowded the guy Olivia had been about to hit, and Jax rolled up on the other one.
"You got somethin' to say to her?" Jax said, his rough voice low and hard.
Tara was at Olivia's elbow, and Juice's grip relaxed.
"I asked you a question, asshole!" Jax said and shoved the catcaller. "Anything you got to say to her, you can say to me."
He looked away and shook his head. "Nah, man. Just havin' a little fun, that's all."
"Maybe you should have fun somewhere else," Opie said. His tone, so mild and easy, was somehow scarier than Jax' show of temper.
Olivia gripped Tara's hand. "What's going on?" she whispered.
"Come on," Tara said. She tugged Olivia toward the bathroom. "We need to talk."
She followed, but craned her neck to watch the action. It was breaking up, but Jax still looked ready to bust some heads. Opie towered over everybody, and his smooth expression sent freshmen running and even had seniors dodging him.
The bathroom door shut behind them and Tara checked each stall. She shooed some girls away from the mirror, and after only token resistance (Tara had a certain rep, too), they sauntered out to the hall. When they had the room to themselves Tara spun toward Olivia and grabbed her hands.
"What the hell happened Friday night?"
"Friday…?" She looked away, her face creased with anxiety. "I went to the football game."
"Yeah, no shit. What happened after?"
She lifted her chin and met Tara's worried eyes. "What did TJ say happened?"
She blew out a breath and brushed Olivia's hair off her forehead. "He said you went to the locker room with him to celebrate."
"He said we fucked in the locker room?" She was confused. Why would that draw such—
Horror as the light dawned. "No. No, no, no, he did fucking not!" She spun away and buried her face in her hands. "Oh my God. Oh my fucking God."
Tara's palm was warm on her back. "It's okay, Ollie. No one believes it. Everyone knows it's bullshit."
"Apparently not everyone! Did you hear what those guys said? And that's just two people! In math this morning everyone was whispering and looking at me like I'm some sort of pariah!" She turned back and rubbed her forehead. "What exactly did I do Friday night, according to TJ?"
"Um." Tara's eyes flitted away. "I guess your knees are kinda sore? And the whole football team knows if you spit or swallow."
"Oh my God. I can't believe this. I—I don't understand why I'm so surprised. He let everyone think we skipped winter formal to fuck, so why not take it a step further? Makes him look like a stud, but no one questions why we're not together anymore."
Tara's eyes narrowed as she zeroed in on Olivia's lip. "So you wanna tell me what did happen? Like in actual reality?"
She gave a weary shrug. "We had a thing. I told him it was over. He got mad and left me on the side of the road. Juice just happened to drive by and he gave me a ride home."
"A thing. A thing that resulted in that lip?"
"It was no big deal, Tara. He didn't really hurt me and I kneed him in the balls."
Her eyes went wide and she smothered a laugh. "Holy shit."
"Yeah."
"So, wait, you were with Juice Friday night?"
"When I wasn't with TJ or sitting at home alone, yeah."
"Hhmm." She smirked. "That's interesting."
"Don't. Like, seriously. Now that I'm officially the school slut I think it's more important than ever that I stay away from anything with a penis. Especially since apparently I can't get near one without wanting to suck it."
Now Tara burst into a full-on giggle fit, and Olivia couldn't keep a straight face despite her best efforts.
"This is a disaster," she groaned through her laughter.
"At least you broke up with TJ."
She wiped her eyes and shook her head. "I try not to draw attention to myself. I mean, I prefer to be under the radar, just do my thing and not attract much notice. Now I'm the Hester fucking Prynne of SanWa South!"
Tara sighed and wove her arm through Olivia's. "It's gonna be okay, Ollie. No one who matters believes it anyway. TJ's a fucking asshole, and if you want I'm sure the guys would stomp his head in for you."
"Yeah, no, I don't think that's a great idea." She scowled. "Come on. We better go or we'll be late for class."
She stopped at the door and glared at it. Tara squeezed her hand.
"We'll go together. Let 'em talk. Between the two of us we're enough bad ass bitch to handle anybody."
Olivia took a deep, fortifying breath and squared her shoulders. "Less Hester Prynne, more Scarlett O'Hara," she said.
"That's right. Fuck those old Atlanta busybodies."
"Huh. I guess that's step two."
She shoved the bathroom door open and they stepped out, arms linked, heads together as they laughed. The guys were waiting for them, and at some point Donna had joined Opie. The six of them walked to Tara and Olivia's English Lit class with kids parting in front of them like the Red Sea for Moses. There were whispers, but they were muted. Stares, but furtive ones.
Olivia felt them, though, their eyes hot and probing like little needles. She should've known that nasty fucker would do something like this. He had to save face, after all, and after Friday a simple lie—like that he had dumped her, or she stopped putting out—wouldn't do. What hurt more was the guys who were going along with it. She'd thought John was kinda cool, and she had other friends on the team, guys who were in metal and auto with her and had been since freshman year. She used to tutor the full back in English.
But, she supposed, they were a team. No one wanted to be the guy who stood against the team, and it took one to get it started. Maybe if she talked to John—
That was stupid. What was the point anyway? No one ever read the retraction of a big, gossipy news story. People liked headlines, and right now the headline was Olivia Gable had blown the entire goddamn football team in the locker room after Friday night's game.
No wonder her lip was swollen.
Her social life took an interesting turn after that. Guys who'd never even looked at her twice were suddenly asking her out. They always did it with an icky gleam in their eye and a smile that was just a little too friendly. She didn't go anywhere alone, not since a weird incident on Tuesday when a guy from her chem class had asked her to stay a minute after lab to help him with something and then tried to grope her tits.
They both got sent to the office when she punched him in the face, but she was the only one who got detention.
There was a part of her that wanted to just say fuck it and become the slut they all assumed she was. She didn't even care about that part; she despised slut-shaming and thought the whole dichotomy of virgin/whore was complete fucking bullshit and didn't mean a goddamn thing in real actual life. Except the last thing she wanted to do was have sex with any of these disgusting losers who were only giving her the time of day because they thought she was easy.
And, of course, the one or two guys she'd actually liked before she started going out with TJ now treated her like she had some sort of disease—which, considering what they all thought she'd done, was a very real possibility. She toyed with the idea of dating a girl, to the point that Tara offered to fix her up with someone from her bio class, but in the end she'd decided against it. Everyone was talking about her enough without adding fuel to the fire.
It was easy to have a philosophy about life, and a completely different thing to live it. She wanted to stand tall and proud and say fuck you to everyone who thought a woman exercising her sexual freedom was something shameful; and she maybe could, if she'd actually done it; but the way people looked at her and the way guys talked to her and the way girls didn't talk to her and the way all the teachers seemed to pity her…it was a lot to deal with.
There were only a few days until Christmas break. She could make it through, and maybe by the time they got back people would've found someone new to whisper about.
Finally Thursday rolled around, not only the last day before break, but also shop day. She could put on the fucking hood and hide behind the blow torch and forget that she was the school pariah. Plus it was the only class she had with Jax, Opie, and Juice, and the three of them plus Tara and Donna were the only friends she had left.
She had completely re-worked the sculpture to submit to the expo, and now she was starting something new. They were small, only a few feet high, and she was planning a series. She'd finished the first one, and the second one was coming along nicely. She was lost in her own little world, and she barely heard when the bell rang.
"Yo, Ollie!"
She blinked hard as Jax' voice filtered through the whoosh of the torch. She flicked it off and raised the visor. "What, Teller? Jesus, people are working here."
He jerked his chin at the empty room behind him. "You gonna come to lunch, or stay here all day and melt shit?"
"Oh." She frowned. "Yeah, I'm coming. Go ahead without me."
He hesitated and she waved him away.
"I'll be fine, Jax. I think I can walk from here to the cafeteria without being assaulted."
He clearly wasn't happy about it, but a sixteen-year-old boy was ruled by two things: his dick and his stomach. Right now it was lunchtime, and his stomach was at the helm. "Yeah, all right. See you there."
She got rid of the gloves and the helmet and was stripping out of the jumpsuit when Mr. Collins appeared. "Oh, Ollie. I thought you'd be gone by now."
"On my way out." She grabbed her water bottle and sketchbook and headed toward her backpack.
"I'm glad I caught you, actually. You have a minute?"
"Sure," she said. She tucked the sketchbook away and hoisted her bag onto one shoulder. "What's up?"
He propped himself on the table across from her and smiled a little. "How are you?"
"Mr. Collins—"
He waved a hand. "I know. I'm just checking in. Your new work is amazing, Ollie. Some of the best you've ever done, and I'm glad to see you get your mojo back…but I'm also a little concerned."
She frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. "Those rumors aren't true."
"I didn't really think they were. Especially when I realized who was probably responsible for spreading them."
Her mouth quirked. "Some people don't handle rejection well."
"One in every crowd, unfortunately."
There was a pause while they watched each other across the table. He always gave her the deepest looks. Like he could read every thought in her head, or he wanted to. It was disconcerting, but also kind of refreshing. It seemed like half the people she interacted with on a daily basis had little to no interest in what made her tick.
He was tall, six feet-ish, and well-built in a thin, wiry sort of way. He wore his brown hair too long for a teacher, and it constantly fell over his forehead. He apparently only shaved every four days or so, because he had a perpetual scruff-like beard that on most guys would like kinda skeevy, but worked on him. He dressed in ties and cardigans and corduroys, and the same pair of scuffed brown wingtips every day. It should have been dorky as hell, and it was, but he was so unaffected about it, so effortless and easy, that he somehow made it cool.
Everyone who had him agreed he was their favorite teacher, and his young age and his good looks attracted more girls than metal shop normally would. Olivia wasn't here for any of that: she'd signed up for shop freshman year because she'd liked the idea, and once she was there she'd discovered something she'd never known she had. Because of Mr. Collins.
The silence stretched. It never turned awkward or forced, but eventually one of them would have to break it or they might be here all day. Finally Olivia said, "So was this talk just so you could practice your worried teacher routine? Because the only thing really wrong with me right now is hunger."
He grinned and dragged a hand through his shaggy hair. "It's actually about the expo. They're announcing the awards tonight. You know first place is a nice chunk of change."
"Second place isn't too shabby, either."
"True, but you don't really chase second place." His eyes were warm and his voice quiet. "Do you?"
"No. Not really my style. I mean, if you're gonna be the school slut, you might as well be the number one slut, right?"
His chin fell to his chest as he laughed. "Go to lunch, Ollie. I'll see you tonight."
"Sure, Mr. Collins. You too."
She rushed through the door and stopped short as she almost ran over Dana Riley. "Oh!" she said. "Sorry, didn't see you there."
"No," the other girl said, her full mouth moving in a nasty smile, "I guess you were a little busy."
Olivia's brows drew together. "Um. Sure, Dana. Busy…running to the cafeteria. If you're looking for Juice, I think he has English now."
"I know Juice's schedule," she said with a glower. "I was looking for you."
"Okay. Could we talk and walk? I'm really hungry and I'd like time to eat."
"This won't take long." She stepped closer and used every bit of her three-inch height advantage to tower over Olivia. "Stay. Away. From Juice. You might have him fooled into thinking you're Miss Sweet and Innocent, but I know better. TJ told me everything."
"Did he?" she said, softly. "I somehow doubt that." She gently knocked Dana's hand away from her face before she could stab her eye out with a sharp red nail. "Juice and I are friends, Dana. Just like I am with Opie and Jax. If Tara and Donna aren't threatened by me, then I don't know why you should be. And, come on. Let's not play these bullshit games. We turn against each other, the assholes win."
"I think you're the only asshole here, Ollie." She somehow managed to infuse her name with a thousand terrible, disgusting things, and Olivia flinched from it. Wow. Both scary and impressive.
"Dana, I'm not after your boyfriend. I have no interest in your boyfriend. Just—leave me alone. And, you know. Maybe don't believe every goddamn thing you hear."
Sick and tired of the whole thing, Olivia spun on her heel and didn't stop walking until she was at her car. She spent the rest of lunch there, and didn't move even when the bell rang. Finally, after another half hour of just staring through the windshield at nothing, she started the engine and drove home.
Happy motherfucking Christmas, she thought.
Things really kick off next chapter, kids, so buckle your seat belts. The fallout from TJ's douchery will be huge.
Thanks so much for all your reviews from last time! I'm glad you guys are enjoying. :) I have ch12 written, but not ch11? So, you know. A little help. :(
