PLOTS WEREN'T PROVIDED!

Episode 7: The FFX Invasion!

Oh, and I finally fixed the disclaimer. Take a look!

Disclaimer: Yuna sucks!

Yuna: I'm offended!

SoFaRo: If I had a damn, I wouldn't give it to you.

I do not own Final Fantasy X or its crappy sequel Final Fantasy X-2,

nor have I any wish to own these. Oh, and I also don't own Mega Man,

Bass, Zero, Mega Man Battle Network, or Mega Man X. I do, however, as

far as I know, own the man-eating ants. Oh yoy. (Yoy means joy)

SCENE: Some room in Hyrule Castle. Yuna, Rikku, and Paine are walking around.

Yuna: Where are we?

Rikku: When did we get here?

Paine: Why do I care?

Booming voice: YOU ARE HERE FOR THE PURPOSE OF COMPLETING THE ANTIPLOT!

Rikku: ...so, is that edible, like antipasta?

Booming voice: ...why is it that the cute ones are always stupid?

Rikku: Hey! You big meanie!

Booming voice: WHAT? ANYWAY, AN ANTIPLOT IS NOT EDIBLE, BUT IS INSTEAD A PLOT

OF A STORY THAT LACKS ALL THE STANDARD CHARACTERISTICS OF A PLOT

IN MUCH THE SAME WAY THAT AN ANTIHERO LACKS THE CHARACTERISTICS

OF A TYPICAL HERO. Much like Squall for the first half of FF8,

actually...

Paine: Do we care?

SoFaRo: Well you should!

Yuna: Hey! You're the guy who said I suck! DIE::Tries to do Trigger Happy

on SoFaRo, who dodges.:

SoFaRo: Dude, THIS is how it's done::Does Bass.exe's Air Explosion on Yuna,

reducing her HP to 1.: Okay, that was luck.

Yuna: Ow.

SoFaRo: Hey, how do you think I felt, being shot at crosswise like that?

Yuna: Yeah, but I didn't hit you!

SoFaRo: Ah, chill out.

:The following people enter the room: Lulu, Kimahri, and last but also least...

Yuna: Tidus!

Tidus: Yuna!

:Tidus and Yuna start making out, until SoFaRo blasts them with a giant Super

Soaker. (which by the way, they seem to have stopped making. WHY!)

Tidus: Hey, what's the big idea!

SoFaRo: No making out! This is a family story! (Blatant lie on my part, but eh)

Tidus: So why is it rated R?

SoFaRo: BECAUSE I LIKE TO HEDGE MY BETS! But enough of this, it's time to

get moving with the antiplot!

Zelda::Walks in: Who are these fools!

Tidus: I'm Tidus! Star of the Zanarkand Abes!

Yuna: I'm Yuna.

SoFaRo: The big lion-guy is Kimahri, the cute girl is Rikku, and the slightly

scary girl is Paine.

Paine: How am I scary!

SoFaRo: It's the eyes. They're, like, red... y'know, like blood.

Zelda: Are you staying long?

Paine: As long as the idiot makes us stay.

SoFaRo: Watch it! I could turn you into a frog like that::Snap:

:Paine turns into a frog.

SoFaRo: See::Snap:

:Paine becomes human again, but is trampled by a swarm of ants.

Paine: Rrrgh! They're biting me to death::Rolls out of the stream of ants,

covered in them: Get off me!

SoFaRo: Sorry to do this, Dart, but... :whips out arm-blade and drives it

into the ground: Explosion::Explosion is cast on the stream of

ants as well as Paine. The ants are burned to a crisp instantly.:

Paine::Blinks twice, covered in soot: What's with those ants?

SoFaRo: I don't know, maybe they're South American soldier ants.

Paine: And what do they do?

SoFaRo: They eat everything in their path.

Rikku: Scary.

SoFaRo: Tell me about it. And they aren't affected by Authorial magics at all.

Zelda: So why did you bring them here!

SoFaRo: THE THING IS, I DIDN'T! Someone must be trying to kill us! And if we

follow the ants to their source, we'll find out who...

Rikku: Here come some more...

SoFaRo: Rrrr... Flaeli! (It's from Phantasy Star IV, people.)

:The spell hits one ant.

SoFaRo: Well, it was worth a shot. Hewn! (Also from PSIV)

:Ants are blown everywhere, but not one dies. They get back into a line.

SoFaRo: $&$#&$&$#&#::Picks up a cellphone: Hey, Dart, can you come

over and use Red-Eyed Dragon on some man-eating ants? Well, I can't use

it since I'm not a Dragoon and thus can't summon any Dragon spirits.

Well then, come on over and use Divine Dragon Ball, then, I don't care!

Oh, fine, I'll think of something else... :Hangs up: Anyone know any

all-encompassing Fire spells, like Firaga-all?

Lulu: I never learned to split spells, unfortunately.

Yuna: I prefer White Magic.

Rikku: Yunie and Paine said I was too much of a danger to myself and others to

be a Black Mage.

:Everyone looks at Paine.

Paine: ...all right, I'll handle this. :Spherechanges to Black Mage: FIRAGA!

:All the ants are scorched. More begin arriving.

Paine: Sh-t. Can't you do anything?

SoFaRo: Sorry, I'm only good with poison- and death-based spells... wait a

tick! Insecticide spells! There's gotta be SOME in existance::Picks

up a spellbook: Hmm... Impotence, I already know... Incest prevention,

no... Indirect magic, no... HERE IT IS! INSECTICIDE SPELLS! All

I need is some herbs and some grape juice!

Paine: You need stuff?

SoFaRo: This is some old-school magic, Paine. It requires the use of potions

and such.

Paine: Well, why don't you just materialize some of the stuff?

SoFaRo: I can't use magic to create a magic potion! It's against the laws of

magic!

Paine: All right then, we're all screwed.

Rikku: Wait, isn't there some grape juice in the kitchen?

Zelda: Probably.

Rikku: And are there herbs in the garden?

Zelda: I guess so, why?

Rikku: Yunie, Paine... It's MISSION TIME!

SoFaRo: Oh Lord, here we go.

Rikku: So, you can go get the juice, and Paine and I can look for the herbs!

Yuna: Okay, let's do it!

:Yuna, Paine, and Rikku start to run off in random directions.

Zelda: Yuna, the kitchen's up those stairs, and you two, the garden is

that way :Jerks a thumb in the direction of the garden:

G.Wings: ...Thanks!

:The Gullwings run off in the correct directions.

SoFaRo: -.-;; Guys, we are gonna die.

2bc!

Next time!

The Gullwings finish playing Charlie's Angels!

The conclusion of these events is reached!

All this and not much more on the next badly-planned episode of

PLOTS

WEREN'T

PROVIDED!

MST3k twang