Please, please, please, review? Just so that I know people are actually reading this, and I'm not writing this for nothing! =]

--

I can't believe I broke down right infront of Paige behind the icecream shop. I was shaking so much in Paige's arms, it was rediculas. This is the exact reason why I didn't want him to try to become part of my life again, I knew I was going to get hurt. Or was I just over reacting about this wedding thing?

"I barely even know the fucking woman," I sobbed into her shoulder."Hell, I don't even know my own Dad! They want me to be their bridesmaid for a wedding that I don't even approve of?"

My head started to pound. I was all mixed up, there were too many things going on at once. How could I have been so stupid, falling for his tricks again? When they got married and lived in their brand new house together he'd probably forget all about me. He'd forget that I was a bridesmaid for his wedding. Rob will probably have kids with Natasha, he'd treat them better than he treated me.

What if she already had kids? They would be my stepsister's or stepbrother's before I even met them first! I broke into another sob when Paige hugged me tighter. Why was he doing this to me? What kind of father bribes his daughter to forgive him with money? Shouldn't he be saving that money up for the wedding? I was so confused and hurt, I don't know what's going on with me. My heart was tearing apart, second by second.

"I'm here for you," Paige whispered in my ear.

I took a deap breath. I realized that I wasn't breathing. How long, has Rob and Natasha been dating? If he really did care about me, then he would have ran after me like Paige did instead of sitting there, cleaning off the icecream on his face and shirt. Hopefully, the chocolate stained it. Then I had another thought. What if I didn't have a choice but to be their bridesmaid? What if the had no one, other than me? I suddenly felt guilty.

"I'm so confused," I muttered. "I'm so hurt."

"I know," Paige hugged me tighter.

"My mind is all over the place." I put my hand on my head. "Should I be their bridesmaid?"

Paige shrugged. "Its up to you."

"But, I don't know how I can be their bridesmaid if I don't approve of their wedding?" My mind wandered off. "What if I'm going to have new stepsisters, or stepbrothers, or stepcousins? Would I have to tell my mom, Rob's getting married? What if Natasha's abusive to me like Chad is? Do you think they live in a mansion? What if-"

"Alex!" Paige said. "Calm down."

I put my hand on my forhead. "Help me," I whispered.

Paige was going to reply, but she turned around. Rob was walking torwards us. I noticed the chocolate stain that was on his shirt.

"How could you do this to me?" I asked him.

"Alex, I'm sorry that we suddenly asked you this without a warning first." Rob said. "I would have warned you, but the wedding is coming up pretty soon; less than a month! I've got your number the other day."

I stared at him. "How could I possibly be a bridesmaid of a wedding that I don't approve of? I just love how you don't tell me anything about this woman. Does she have any kids? How old is she? How long have you been dating her?"

Rob was about to answer but I interupted him.

"Does she even know you walked out of my life for fifteen years?" I think I was becoming mad now, instead of upset.

"No," Rob sighed. "She doesn't, but I don't think that its a good idea to tell her."

Tears went down my face. "Why? Are you embaressed of me? Is she going to divorce you if she finds out your a horrible father?"

"No," Rob shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Then what's the reason?" I basically screamed.

"I think we should just leave the past behind us, because we can't change anything," Rob looked directly in my eyes. "But, we can change the future."

Paige rolled her eyes. "Bullshit!"

We both looked at her.

"I mean, seriously! If you really meant what you just said about changing the future, you would have came sooner." Paige stared at him. "If you really cared about her, then you would have walked back into her life when you first met Natasha."

"Natasha, didn't know I had a kid yet." Rob snapped.

"I'm not a kid anymore," I stared at him. "Do you even know how old I am? Do you even know when my birthday is?"

Rob didn't answer.

"Is everything going okay, out here?" Natasha walked torwards Rob. Notice how I didn't call him, Dad?

I crossed my arms. "Don't you have something to tell her, Dad?"

Natasha looked at Rob weirdly.

"Alex would love to be our bridesmaid." He smiled at her.

My mouth dropped open.

--

When I got home I weighed myself. I didn't lose any weight. That just pissed me off more, since I've been starving myself the past few days (besides the time when Paige tried to shove popcorn down my throat and buy me pizza). Good thing I didn't eat any of that icecream Rob bought me, who know's how many calories that shit had.

I still had about two hours before I had to go to work, so I decided to take a shower. Was it weird that this was my second shower in one day? I didn't care, I just needed to get my mind off of things. I didn't know htat it was possible to be hurt, confused, upset and pissed at the same time. Maybe I have skill.

While I was washing my hair with shampoo, I thought of when Rob told Natasha, I actually wanted to be their bridesmaid. He knew that I didn't want to be part of their wedding, yet he actually lied to her. I knew that Rob wanted something from me, but I just didn't know what, since I had nothing, besides Paige. My eyes widened. Maybe, this was all a trick about the wedding. What if he was trying to get closer to me, to get to Paige.

That's just nasty. Literally.

What would he want from Paige? There was alot of things that Paige had that I didn't have. Like, parents that actually cared about you, a huge house, and friends. You have no idea what I would do to have Paige's life. I was in the middle of washing my body when I felt a sharp sting on my neck. It hurt like a bitch! Then I remembered that Chad bit me there this morning. I was gonna have to put more makeup on it before I went to work so that Paige wouldn't see. I hated lying to her.

While I was in the middle of shaving my legs, I stared at the razor for a second. Maybe this one razor would take away all the pain I was in, including all the thoughts that was in my head that just wouldn't go away! I bit my bottom lip as I gently put the razor on my wrist and gently moved it across. I could see my veins perfectly. I knew that Paige would be upset if I cut myself, but it was probably going to be the only way that I could clear my mind. I definately needed help.

I shook my head, then dug the razor straight across my wrist.

FUCK!

--

I'm sorry, this is short! I promise that the next chapter will be longer!