We spend our lives planning, we spend years trying to decide who we want to be when we grow up, the type of person we want to fall in love with, the house we are going to live in. We plan, and we plan, and we work to make sure all those things happen. We work so hard to make our all dreams come true, but sometimes, sometimes life just shows up. Just like a whirlwind it comes in and it knocks every dream we had to the floor and leaves us there, scattered and broken to pick of the pieces. When the dust settles and we stand again, we find that nothing will ever be just as we planned. The dreams we had sometimes just weren't meant to be and we have to make new ones. Sometimes everything we wanted becomes yesterday, and we have to build again. We think it will be horrible, we fight it, struggle against the new, because the truth is, new is scary, the unplanned is too uncertain, and all we desperately want to do is just stay frozen in the past we planned.
He felt the warm body curled up to him, with a sigh he wrapped his arms tighter resting his head in the crook of her neck. He sucked in a deep breath taking in her scent, clean, crisp, lavender….Meredith. His eyes came open as the night before suddenly came back to him. He moved gently as his eyes registered the woman beside him. She was cuddled up to him, his arms around her, and hers holding his. Meredith.
He looked at her, watched as she slept and frowned. He knew he should wake her, knew he needed to move away, but for some crazy reason he couldn't. She fit perfectly against him, and even though he knew it should be weird, it felt…right. He shook his head, trying to get rid of whatever nutso thoughts he was having. It was early, and he'd been alone for a few weeks now, plus Meredith was hot, he'd never denied that, so obviously that's all it was. He was just being a guy.
He swallowed as she pulled one of his arms closer to her, and let out the tiniest sigh. Moving his now free arm, he softly moved a strand of hair from her face and saw a smile fall across her face. His heart raced as she pulled closer to him. Crap. This was not good.
Taking a breath he tugged his arm away from her with a frown, "Mer." He whispered.
"Hmm."
"Mer, it's morning, and you're kinda still here." He finally said as her eyes softly fluttered open.
She rolled over slowly as her eyes opened, and then he saw them go wide. "What…." She muttered.
"We fell asleep last night." He spoke pointing to the televison that was still on. "Congrats, you finally slept with me." He smirked.
He felt the tiny punch as it hit his arm and he let out a laugh as her she began to stir in the bed, "Karev…"
"Too early for jokes?" He asked.
"I slept down here? All night? And now it's morning? What if the kids are up? And my sisters?" She rattled. "This could be bad, they'll think stuff, stuff they were already thinking but now.. Bad this is bad."
"Grey chill," Alex chuckled, "This is not the reaction I usually get when a woman wakes up in bed with me," he added.
"I will hit you again," Meredith warned. "What time is it?"
Alex grabbed his phone from his nightstand and let out a laugh, "Um I have a text, I think it's for you."
Grabbing his phone from him her eyes widen, "Tell Mer to sleep in, we've got the kids covered. Looks like you two had a long night." She read out loud. "Maggie? Maggie sent this? Oh….She must have came down here?"
"Probably, so you just explain what happened, no big deal." Alex shrugged.
"Right because that's all it's gonna take."
"Mer, it's no big deal. You've fell asleep in bed with me before," Alex spoke. "You'll explain to Maggie and it'll be fine."
"Yeah but I usually woke up, like before morning," she groaned.
Alex sighed as he threw is legs out of bed and stood, stretching as he let out a yawn. "Look, the kids are off to school, the sisters are off to work, and I think we both have later shifts right?" He asked. "So get up and have some coffee with me or something." He said letting out another yawn. He turned back to look at her and saw her staring at him, was Meredith checking him out?
"New work out program," He smirked, "Working huh?" He asked.
"What?" She asked. "Karev!" She spoke grabbing a pillow and tossing it at him. "Shut it!"
"You were checking me out Grey, I saw you."
"I was thinking you needed to put some clothes on," she muttered. "Shut up."
"It's okay, I check you out all the time, seriously, we're adults, it's whatever," he shrugged.
"So do you check Maggie and Amelia out too?" She asked arching her eyebrow.
"What? No?" He said making a face, "That'd be weird."
"But looking me up and down's not?" Meredith asked.
"Nope, not at all," He shrugged.
"Our friendship is really twisted Karev."
"But we do it so well," he grinned adding a wink.
"So new workout you say?" She asked smirking as she eyed him. "Jo's loss." She added with a grin.
"Impressive huh?" He said letting out a laugh.
"You do seem more toned," She observed, "But seriously…clothes?"
"Thought the basement was my domain?" He grinned.
"You're right, forgive me," Meredith spoke with a tiny smile. "You seem in a better mood today?"
"Guess I'm just really realizing I've let Jo go. Like I'm good with it now, it feels final or whatever, and I don't know, may sound stupid but final feels good."
"Well any girl that would refuse to marry you or help you raise a puppy, has to be crazy in my book," Meredith sighed. "Seriously, you've dealt with enough women with issues to last a life time, maybe now you can close that book and find someone more…stable."
"That's your nice way of saying I pick the nutjobs right Mer?" He teased. "Because believe me, I am over that."
"They just have issues, that's all." Meredith spoke with a hint of a smile.
"Right issues." Alex scoffed. "How about you? Feeling better today?" He asked changing the subject. He saw her eyes fall and her mouth tighten and he knew she still wasn't doing well.
"I can't believe I fell asleep," Meredith frowned. "Last night was rough."
Alex sat back down on the bed, "That dream really hit you huh?"
"I just didn't want it to end, and then when I woke up, all I wanted to do was go back," she shrugged. "It was so real."
He moved his hand out and touched her arm, "I'm sorry, dude this all still sucks."
"Thanks for letting me come down here last night, I seriously couldn't have handled that alone."
"Mer," he spoke, "Anytime you need to bunk with me, you got it," he spoke. "I'll even try to sneak you back upstairs before the morning crowd rises next time." He grinned.
"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."
"And seriously who cares what people think about us? Let them think what they want, our friendship is our freakin' business."
He watched as a smile spread across Meredith's face, "Because when have either of us worried about reputations?" She asked him.
"Ha, exactly."
"Derek told me to shine," She spoke up, "What do you think that means?" She asked, "Or am I crazy and just reading too much into any of this?"
Alex smiled as he scooted closer to her, "Mer, you are one of those people that's just supposed to shine, or sparkle or whatever," he shrugged, "You walk into a room and there's like this light around you," he mumbled, "You know, people just look up and notice you. You can't lose that because life sucks or people are gone."
"You think I sparkle?" Meredith asked eyeing him. "Alex Karev, you think I sparkle."
Alex let out a grunt, this woman would be the death of him, sometimes he was sure of it. She drove him crazy, and yet he was sure, he would do anything for her. It scared him a little, the hold her and the kids had on him, and lately he had found himself trying to figure out what it all meant. He really needed to hang out with men again, because seriously all this living in the house with women was starting to get to him.
"We should get coffee, and I need to feed the puppy," he spoke. "Hey, lets go out for breakfast this morning."
"Out?" Meredith asked.
"Yeah, you go in later this morning right?"
"Yeah," she nodded. "Unless something comes up."
"Then let's do it. We need to get out of this funk we've been in." He shrugged.
"New day?" She smiled.
"Yeah, something like that." Alex nodded. Bending down he pressed a kiss to her forehead, "Go get dressed Grey, time for both of us to get back to living."
"How inspirational of you Karev," She chuckled as she stood.
"Just go get ready," He groaned.
He watched as Meredith headed out and as he plopped down on his bed and put his head in his hands, "She's Meredith dude, Meredith." He muttered to himself before falling back on the bed and staring up at the ceiling. He just needed a shower and some coffee and he'd be okay, he sighed, at least he hoped he would.
His arms had been around her, and she had been against him, perfectly wrapped up in Alex Karev's embrace. She would never tell him she had been awake for a while, or that she didn't want to move. She had felt him nuzzle her neck, felt his fingers rub against her arms and she just remained there. It was Alex, she had been cuddling her freakin' person, and it had felt right somehow. She knew it was crazy, and was sure it was just because she had been alone for so long. Alex was a man, a very attractive man, and she was just a woman who did really dumb things sometimes, she groaned. She had been alone, without Derek for too long, and Alex was the only man, only person really that made her feel safe.
She walked into her bedroom and grabbed her phone, rolling her eyes as she saw texts from Amelia and Maggie, she groaned. She'd deal with those two later, Maggie would believe her, but knowing Amelia she'd probably have some kind of sister reaction, and accuse her of replacing Derek.
Walking over to her desk she grabbed her iPad, she needed to talk to Cristina. Sighing as she waited to see if Cristina would answer she smiled as her best friend's face came into view.
"Mer hey." Cristina spoke.
"Hey yourself."
"Okay, what's wrong?" Cristina asked.
"Wrong? What does something have to be wrong?"
"It doesn't have to be, but it is." Cristina spoke. "So spill."
"Maybe I just wanted to see your face."
"You're stalling," Cristina groaned, "I hate it when you do that."
Meredith frowned, "The whole hospital thinks I'm having some kind of fling with Alex."
"You and Evil Spawn? Go on."
Meredith rolled her eyes, "It's not true, but then I had a dream last night, and went down to the basement…"
"Meredith Grey, are you being inappropriate again?" Cristina asked.
"No!" I fell asleep down there and woke up this morning, you know, in his arms." Meredith frowned. "Nothing happened, it was just…nice."
"You found waking up in the arms of Karev nice?" Cristina asked.
"He's changed a lot for you information," Meredith frowned, "But yeah, and it just freaked me out."
"I would imagine so, he's evil spawn and you're all giddy after a cuddle fest with him," Cristina winced. "These are the reasons I should have never left."
"He hasn't been evil spawn in a long time," Meredith groaned, "And I'm not giddy, it's just…We spend a lot of time together, and he's just Alex, and this morning was weird."
"Butterfly feelings weird?" Cristina asked. "Because I can get on a plane…"
Meredith sighed, "No, just nice, like I didn't want to leave weird."
"And now you're all in your head because you're Meredith and that's what you do. He's a guy, you're a girl, it was morning, and you haven't been in anyone's arms in awhile, realize Mer, this is not a thing, don't make it a thing."
"Right, it's normal and not weird, it's not a thing."
"Do not make this a thing." Cristina said again.
"Thank you, that's exactly what I needed to hear."
"Of course it is. Can I go now? I have work to do."
"Yes you can."
"It is not a thing Grey," Cristina warned as the Facetime ended.
"It is not a thing." Meredith nodded standing up as she heard Alex coming up the stairs.
"Hey Mer, did you feed Anna?"
"Maggie left a text that she did," She spoke as Alex stood in the doorway. "She left many texts actually.
Alex smirked, "About our wild night together?"
"I have to get ready Karev."
" I thought that's was what you were doing Grey?"
"Cristina, I was talking to Cristina," She said.
"Oh, okay, well I'll straighten up the kitchen. I'm guessing Sheppard cooked this morning. I swear someone should tell her to pick up her messes." He grumbled.
Meredith let out a little chuckle, "This domesticated thing is kinda sexy Karev."
"Geez Mer, still flirting?" He asked with a laugh. "You should see me in apron," He added as he let out a loud laugh and shook his head walking out of her bedroom.
She smiled as she shut her door, he was her person, and they were what they were, and there was nothing to it. This was okay, and she wasn't going to let other peoples thoughts to invade her mind. It was not a thing, not a thing at all…..
They walked into the hospital laughing about a young couple fighting over coffee preferences in the coffee shop they had ate at. Meredith had just said something about the girl being immature when Alex saw everyone staring at them at the main desk.
Jo's eyes caught his first and they shot him a look that made him want to run, scream and laugh at the same time. Seriously, this was not good.
"Just friends huh Alex?" She blurted out at him. "Seriously? Just how long have you made a fool of me?" She yelled as she stormed past him.
Meredith frowned and looked up at him, "Oh this is bad." She muttered.
"Really Mer?" Alex heard Amelia say. "You can do whatever you want to do but with me in the house? My brother's dream house? Nice." She she grumbled turning and walking away.
"What? But she's the one that asked me why we weren't…" Meredith frowned.
"Crap." Alex muttered.
"Yeah, I think that pretty much sums it up."
