I'm a gamblin fool with a roll and cue Wanna play wanna play wanna play with me Put my ass on the line rubbed my nose in the grime And they picked me clean The chance and the game drove Old Silkly insane What a pain what a strain on my brain it was A fish on a hook I was rattled and shook 'cause I lost my stake I took that serious Serious - Alice Cooper

Dean could not deal with this. He got in his Baby and drove to the nearest bar. Yes, he knew he was running away, again, He also knew Sam would be fine without him for a few hours. How much trouble could one woman be?

A lot. As an afterthought he ordered a shot of whisky to go with his beer.

For the last several months Dean had done everything he could to forget his angel. He and Sam had spent the better part of two months looking for him and nothing. Sam tried to get him to talk about it. Feelings. But he was not interested. It was too much. He had a choice. Either shut it out or shut down. So he shut it out.

Well, he shut Sam out if he was honest with himself. Late at night when he thought Sam was asleep he had tried praying. At first he was just asking, you know, had to try. After a few weeks he got mad. How could his angel ignore him? He was ignoring him, right? No way he was...Dean could not even think it.

He ordered another beer.

The prayers turned angry. Dean cursed at him. Threatened him. Told him if he did not answer right now not to bother coming back at all. This was immediately followed by begging. Please. Please, come home.

Dean wiped a tear from his face without realizing it.

In the end he simply stopped. He put everything into the job. When he and Sam could not find a case on their own Dean would call Garth. If Garth had nothing he would end up at the local bar, hustling some pool, and drinking a lot of beer. Not once would he let himself think for a moment about his angel. Or anyone else for that matter. Sam would tease him about running off to pick up women and he let him think that. Truth is he had lost all interest in women. That is until one showed up at their door with those eyes looking like his angel.

His angel. Was he still his angel? This woman, whoever she is, just walks in and tells Dean she has been talking to him. That after all this time she is the one who gets to know his angel is still out there. Who the hell does she think she is? If she thinks for one second she is good enough, better than him, then…

Dean's phone vibrated in his pocket. "Hey, Garth! Tell me you've got a case." He signals the bartender he wants to pay his tab. "Okay, yeah. Where? We'll head right over. No, no we'll leave right now."