Everything's gone white

And everything's grey

Now you're here and now you're away

I don't want this

Remember that

I'll never forget where you're at - Glycerine, Bush

"I could help with directions if you would just tell me where we're going."

Cas kept his attention focused on the road ahead of him, ignoring his sulky passenger. He understood why Dean was so tense, from the instant Cas had asked to drive the Impala he could see that Dean was more than a little reluctant to hand over his baby's keys to a self-proclaimed terrible driver. But Cas had a plan, and letting his boyfriend chauffeur him would ruin it.

"I told you, Dean, I'm not even sure where we're going but I'll know when we get there."

They'd been driving for more than two hours, Cas wanted to be far enough away from where they lived that there would be no danger of running into anyone either of them knew. He knew there was no reason he should be ashamed of what they were about to do, not really, he was in a loving, committed relationship. But the thought of someone seeing him leaving a seedy hotel, no matter how minute that possibility might be, mortified him already.

"Cas, baby, that doesn't really make any sense."

"Dean, please."

Although by now Cas felt they were a sufficient distance from their home, the issue remained of finding a suitable place to make this all happen. It wasn't that there was any trouble finding a hotel, he just had to find the right one. Charlie had clearly specified cheap hotel sex was the best, so that counted out any of the multistorey luxury suits Cas would normally prefer. He was certain though, that cheap didn't have to mean 'crime scene pending' and finding a place in between the two was proving far more challenging than he would have guessed.

"Oh Jesus, Cas, please pay attention to the traffic."

Cas rolled his eyes, and continued searching. He spotted a hotel he thought might meet the criteria. It was smaller, only about five stories, and was far enough away from the main road that it felt hidden from judgmental eyes. However, the name written in gold cursive on the sign out front of the building was that of an expensive chain hotel. Cas discarded this option as still 'too fancy'.

"Make sure to use your turn signals, Cas."

The next hotel Cas considered, was certainly not 'too fancy' by anyone's standards. It was only a single story, but he wasn't sure how it was still standing. Most of the doors leading to the rooms were mismatched, the roof appeared to be caving in on one side, the gutters were falling, and he wasn't even sure what the name of this hotel was, since it looked as if someone had driven a car through what used to be it's sign. Cas filed this option under, 'if I ever plan to murder a hooker'.

"Cas. Cas, hit the brakes. Hit the brakes, Cas. Brakes, brakes, brakes, brakes!"

Cas nearly stomped the brake pedal through the floor boards. "Dean! Do you see how far away we are from that car?" He fumed, gesturing to the ample amount of space between Dean's car and the one stopped in front of them at a red light.

"You were coming in so fast, I didn't know if you were gonna be able to stop in time!"

"Son of a bitch, Dean, if we wreck it's not going to be because I can't drive, but because you keep you won't shut the hell up and let me! So please, for both our sakes, be quiet!"

Dean stared wide eyed at Cas, clearly caught off guard by his outburst. He looked at the vehicle ahead of them, at the several feet of space Cas had allowed when he stopped. He took a breath, releasing the painful grip he'd been holding on the sides of his seat.

"You're right," He nodded "You're right. You've been doing a great job so far, I'm just-" Dean nearly swallowed his tongue when Cas all but floored the gas as the light turned green "A little too tense. I'll try to be quiet."

He stared out the window at the buildings passing by, wondering silently what on earth Cas could possibly have wanted them to miss work for? He'd said it had something to do with Charlie, something she had suggested? But for the life of him, Dean couldn't think of anything worth doing that involved driving two hours out of town on a Monday afternoon. He flipped on the radio, letting the fuzzy sound of hard rock guitar riffs sooth his frazzled nerves.

Cas' shoulders tensed immediately. Listening to wailing guitars and pounding drum solos might help Dean calm down, but it worked the opposite effect for him. He rolled his neck, hoping this would be worth all the stress in the end.

"So, um, do you think we might be getting close to wherever it is we're going?" Dean dared to ask one last time.

Cas pursed his lips as they passed yet another hotel that didn't meet his criteria, "God, I hope so."

He was almost ready to give up, to pull into a random restaurant or vacant lot and make up some sentimental story about it just so the day didn't feel like a complete bust. But then, he saw it, in all of it's moderately priced glory. A two story brick building, with doors all painted the same color, balconies with rusty, metal fences, and a neon sign with the word 'vacancy' illuminated. Above the flickering light, the name AMERICA'S BUDGET INN was written in bold, capital letters. Cas could have cried out for joy.

"I think we're here."

Dean looked puzzled as Cas pulled off the main road onto the exit ramp, "Where is here, Cas?"

Cas wordlessly drove the car into the parking lot of the hotel, bringing it to a stop in a spot next to the check in lobby.

Dean turned his head in all directions, scoping out the old building and mostly empty lot, still completely baffled, "Cas, this is a hotel?" He said it like a question, making sure his partner was aware of where they were sitting.

Cas smiled at him sheepishly, if not a little slyly.

Realization crept into his features and he blushed. Dean actually blushed. He lowered his gaze and grinned, "This is a hotel."

"My sources tell me that cheap hotel sex is some of the best sex of your life." Cas said, turning in his seat "I thought maybe we should find out how reliable my sources are?"

Dean snickered, "Cas, you're so bad." He quipped, "I like it."

"Oh, you have no idea."

They both laughed at their own absurdity, shaking off some of the nerves of what they were about to do.

"Alright," Dean pulled himself together as he opened his door, preparing to climb out, "Hang on just a minute, I'll be right back."

"Wait, where are you going?"

"I'm gonna go get us a room?"

"No, close your door, I'm going to do it."

Dean arched his eyebrows, casting a sideways glance at the man sitting beside him. He was having trouble believing uptown boy Cas was about to waltz into the lobby of a budget hotel and rent a room for the sole purpose of a mid-day romp in the sheets. But he obeyed the request, slamming his door shut and shifting to face his partner.

"You're going to go get us a hotel room?"

"Yes? Would you rather me not do it?"

"No, no. Just, I didn't think you'd want the desk man to associate you with such scandalousbehavior." Dean's mouth quirked upward.

"It's not scandalous. It isn't like I'm bringing in some one night stand, I'm here with my boyfriend."

"Desk guy doesn't know that."

Cas crawled out of the Impala. He had missed work, driven all the way to another state, suffered through Dean's back-seat driving, and damn it, he was not about to be teased out of doing this. He leaned down to be level with the man still seated inside the car, "Desk guy doesn't know me from Adam," He sassed "I'm sure as long as he gets his money, he doesn't care who I brought with me."

Dean shrugged.

Cas pulled open the door that lead to the check in area to be bombarded by the overpowering smell of wood finishing oil and stale smoke. He clamped his jaw tight, trying not to choke on the pungent chemical stench. A still-lit cigarette sat smoking in an ash tray that sat on top of the cluttered check in desk, but its owner was nowhere to be seen in this room of floor to cieling wood panneling.

A tiny, brass bell was bolted to the corner of the counter top. Cas tapped it lightly, filling the room with an irritating, metallic ping ping that resonated against the wooden panels long after he'd stowed his hands back into the pockets of his jacket. He took a calming breath, assuring himself that there was nothing to feel embarrassed about.

There came the sound of shuffling from somewhere within the walls. Cas tried to track the noise as it grew louder, coming closer. He could hear a gruff voice curse loudly as something heavy hit the ground, before collapsing into a fit of wet, raspy coughs.

Cas took a small step backwards as a door, that had been so perfectly camouflaged against the wall he hadn't even noticed it, was flung open and a terribly haggard looking older woman stumbled forward. She gripped the edge of the chair sitting behind the desk as she continued to gasp and wheeze and convulse. Without missing a beat, she plucked the burning cigarette from the tray and placed it between her wrinkled lips, taking a long drag that made the tip of its paper light up orange.

Cas shifted awkwardly.

The woman exhaled through her nose, following up with several smaller, dryer sounding coughs, "Can I help you?"

"I need a room for two, please." Cas barely got the words out before the woman was plagued by another round of hacking.

She nodded, coughing a few more times into her fist, flopping down in the chair she'd been using for support, and rolled to sit in front of an old desk top computer. The machine buzzed to life, beeping and whining, and finally flashing to a home screen, where the woman typed in her credentials to reserve Cas a room.

"You need two fulls or queen?" She croaked.

"I'm sorry?"

"Two full beds or one queen, sweetie?" The woman asked, still blinking at the computer's screen.

Cas felt his cheeks begin to glow, "Oh, um, one queen bed please." He glanced around the room as if he'd just said spilled top secret information, making sure no one else had come in without his knowing. He felt silly, and reminded himself there was absolutely no reason to be so unnerved.

Cas could hear the woman's wheezing breaths as she pecked with one finger at the key board. She seemed thoroughly exasperated with him for forcing her out of her annex to come do her job. But judging by the palpable vibe of apathy coming from her, he was willing to bet she probably wasn't winning any awards for her personality, even on a good day.

She continued working at the computer, obviously in no kind of hurry. No matter how he tried to push the feeling down, Cas' anxiety continued to bubble up inside of him. And the longer he stood, the greater his need to explain his presence.

"I'm on a road trip." He said suddenly, unable to stop the lie before it popped out of his mouth, "My friend and I, we're trying to visit all fifty states."

The woman ignored Cas' rambling, continuing to breath toxic smoke deep into her lungs, releasing it through her nostrils to fill up the poorly ventilated space.

Cas tried to disguise the tickle in his throat.

"This is our first stop, and uh, yeah. We've known each other for years," He wasn't sure why he was still talking "It's almost like we're family" He was making things so much worse "That's why we only need one bed, we're just that close." Oh God, why had he opened his mouth at all?

The woman spun in her chair to face Cas, her face completely passive. She took the cigarette from her mouth and snubbed the tip against an already burned place on her desk, "How many nights you stayin', hon?"

Cas rubbed his forehead, greatful she had finally stopped his blathering. "Just one please."

"Gonna be fifty-three dollars."

Cas payed the woman, literally biting his tongue to keep it from betraying him again.

A horrendous, slimy sound came from deep within the woman's wind pipe as she forced the tar in her lungs to break up. She clicked away at the computer, her face set in concentration as she swiveled from the screen to a drawer filled with plastic key cards. She selected one and handed it to Cas.

"Second floor sweetie, room 203. You and your friend enjoy your stay."

Cas thanked the woman politely before making his way back across the parking lot to Dean. He found him leaned coolly against the hood of the Impala, arms crossed over his chest, face turned skyward, drinking in the suns rays that shone down on his beautiful face. Cas' stomach turned a flip.

"Everything go according to plan?" Dean asked, never opening his eyes.

"Everything went fine." Cas lied sweetly. He popped open the trunk of the car to retrieve a small duffle bag, "Honestly Dean, this isn't that big of a deal."

"What's the bag for?"

"It's got some things in it we might need. And besides, it helps us blend in."

"Blend in?" Dean cocked an eyebrow, "Why do we need to blend? I thought this was no big deal?"

Cas slapped the key against Dean's chest and slung the bag over his shoulder, muttering, "Who the hell asked you anyway?"

The door to room 203 was slathered with a thick coat of burgundy paint so fresh that it was still wet to the touch. The newness of the varnish contrasted with the weathered, brass numbers that hung crooked on the splintered wood.

Dean held up the room key between his middle and forefinger, "Since this was your golden idea would you like to do the honors, Cas-anova, or should I?"

"This isn't going to be very much fun if you make me throw up first, Dean."

Dean threw his head back and roared with laughter at the way Cas' nose crinkled in disgust at his pitiful attempt to be funny, "Alright, point taken."

He fumbled with the platic rectangle, struggling to fit it into the card reader.

"Anything in particular making you so clumsy today?" Cas teased.

"Fuck you."

"Gotta get the door open first."

As if on cue, Dean finally slotted the card. He pulled it away quickly, the little green light above the reader blinked as the lock clicked open and he grasped the smooth, metal handle. A triumphant grin spread across his face as he pushed the door open.

"After you."

Cas strolled into the room, letting the duffle fall unceremoniously to the floor. Having been raised in an upper-middle class family, he'd never stayed in a hotel that didn't carry a brand name. He took a moment to survey the room.

The decor was seriously outdated. There were paintings hung on every wall depicting scenes of the old west, cowboys stood bow-legged next to their majestic steeds, desert landscapes littered with flowering cacti, all of them painted in the same color scheme of bright reds and dusty yellows. The beds were covered with comforters printed in patterns of intricate filigree. It looked as if some of the fibers of the blankets used to be woven with shiny, gold thread, but they were now worn and dull. And the carpet beneath his feet was a shaggy style that had been beaten down over many years and presumably hundreds of guests.

Cas heard the door click shut behind him as Dean joined him inside the room.

"Home sweet home, eh pilgrim?" He gave his best John Wayne impersonation, resting his hands on his hips, puffing out his chest.

Cas shot him a skeptical look from the corner of his eye.

"I always wanted to be a cowboy," Dean went on, "Ropin' cattle, sleepin' out under the stars, sweepin' pretty ladies off their feet." He threw an arm around Cas and wagged his eyebrows "Or handsome gentlemen, in my case."

"I'm not sure how kindly the wild West would have taken to a homosexual cowboy." Cas deadpanned.

"Ah, they'd take it just fine. Haven't you ever seen Brokeback Mountain?"

"Have you? That movie was set in the sixties, and they end up killing one of the men after they find out he's gay."

"Damn." Dean rubbed the back of his neck "Way to crush a guy's dream."

Dean looked over to Cas. He liked to think by now, he was pretty good at picking up on his boyfriend's subconscious behavioral ques, but a blind man could have walked in the room at that moment and physically felt Cas' discomfort making the air thick. He kept crossing and uncrossing his arms as his eyes, when they weren't glued to the floor, darted all around the room and his shoulders were set so squarely it looked like his shoulder blades might touch.

"You okay, Cas?" Dean asked.

Cas glanced over at him, uncrossing his arms once more, consciously making his shoulders slump forward, "I'm nervous. He confessed "I know it doesn't make any sense, I know I don't really have a reason to be, but I am."

"We don't have to do this you know. If you don't feel like this is for you, we can head back home."

"No, I want to, I do." His arms were crossed again.

Dean moved to stand behind Cas. If they were going to stay, he was going to have to do something to help Cas work his nerves out, or else this was going to end up a being terribly awkward time. With no other ideas, he began massaging Cas' shoulders, digging his fingers in small circles, pinching and rolling the muscle.

Cas leaned into the touch, his head lolling to one side as Dean kneaded the tense flesh.

Dean smirked victoriously.

"If you wanna try this, gotta loosen up baby," He purred into Cas' ear "Can't be so up tight."

Cas let out a tiny sigh as Dean ran his hands down his arms, squeezing his biceps, his forearms, before bringing his hands back up to continue rubbing his shoulders. He placed a warm kiss into his neck.

"Relax, babe. What's got you so wound up? Hmm?"

Cas chewed at his lip and pressed his back against Dean's chest, utterly confused by his own mixed emotions of want and apprehension. "I don't know." He admitted.

"I bet I know," Dean whispered, sliding the cotton jacket from his lover's frame, ghosting his fingers over the exposed flesh of his arms as he did so. He wrapped his own arms around Cas' waist and pulled the back of his body flush against his front, "It's all the people isn't it? The other people in the hotel, the check in clerk, you're afraid someone might see you leaving with your hair all messed up and your clothes on wrong. You're afraid they might hear you saying my name."

He moved one hand lower, slipping his fingers only knuckle deep into the waist of the other man's denim pants, causing the muscles of his lower abdomen to twitch. "You're afraid they might find out what you've been doing in here with me. But you know what baby? I kind of like that, I want em' all to know."

Cas closed his eyes. The feeling of Dean's breath, warm and heavy against his flesh, caused his skin to prickle in the most sensational way. Cas turned in his arms so he could face Dean properly, their faces mere centimeters apart.

"I think I might like that too."

Even in the dim light of the hotel room Cas could see Dean's eyes, normally a vibrant shade of green, were now dark and hungry. They roamed his body freely, looking him over as if he were something to devour.

"Cas," Dean swiped his tongue over his bottom lip, "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

Cas blushed, his gaze flickering up to Dean's eyes, then back down to his mouth. He tilted his head to capture his bottom lip a the softest, most innocent caress. When he pulled away, Cas leaned his face so close to the taller man's ear, so that his lips would brush against it with each word.

"Show me."

A sound something akin to a growl escaped Dean's throat as he hooked his hands around the backs of Castiel's thighs and hoisted him into the air. Cas wrapped his legs around Dean's hips, threading his fingers through his light hair, pulling his face closer, kissing him, kissing him bruised, kissing him with everything he had. Dean matched Cas' movements enthusiastically, plunging his tongue into the other man's mouth, desperate to taste him.

He tightened his grip around Cas' legs and walked them across the room, tossing Cas down onto the bed. He landed heavy on the mattress and stared, wide eyed, up at Dean as he crawled on top of him, settling in between his hips, seizing his wrists to pin them above his head, the mattress creaking and sagging beneath them.

Dean dipped his head to bury his face against the supple space where Cas' neck met his shoulders. He inhaled deeply, relishing the aroma that could only be described as Cas. He licked and sucked at the heated skin, leaving tiny mottled, purple marks; reminders of the places his mouth had touched. He could hear Cas' impatient groans as he peppered feather-light kisses across his collar bone to the other side of his neck where he nestled his face, just as before.

"God, Cas, I want you so bad." He murmured against him between kisses "Gonna make this so good for you baby. Oh God, I'm gonna fuck you so good."

Cas nodded furiously, his tongue rendered useless to speech. His heart thundered wildly against his ribs. He could feel Dean's lips over his pulse.

"Gonna make sure you never forget today." Dean gently ground his pelvis towards Cas' "I wanna make you feel so good, baby."

He shook his head again, swallowing hard.

"Try and show you how good you make me feel."

"Dean..." It was the one word playing over and over in Cas' mind, the only word he could remember.

Dean ran his thumb across the inside of Cas' captive wrist, pressing a sweet kiss to his temple, "If you only knew how wild you drive me."

He leaned back, attempting to bring their boiling passion to a slow simmer, savoring this time that had been set aside from their normal routines so they could enjoy one another.

Dean drank in the sight of the man beneath him, of the man he loved, of Cas. His arms were still stretched slightly above his head, his chest rose and fell heavily with each labored breath, and his eyes, all of the anxiety from earlier had gone out of them, were glazed with lust and excitement. Now, Cas' eyes stared up at Dean, full of trust and free of inhibitions.

Cas was Dean's Heaven, in every sense of the word.

Dean took the hem of Cas' shirt between his fingers, peeling the offensive clothing from his body, tossing it away, not caring where it may land. His breath hitched when he was finally granted the sight of his lover's naked torso; a sight he'd seen many times before, but that lessened the thrill of this time no less. Because when Dean was with Cas, the one hundredth kiss still felt like the first kiss, only better.

He ran his palms along the exposed upper half agonizingly slow, starting at the sharply defined hip bones, creeping up to caress Cas' flanks and taught stomach, then splaying them across his chest. Dean closed his eyes, letting his hands follow the same path back down the flawless body and up again once more, using the pads of his fingertips to recognize every curve, every muscle, every inch of perfection.

Cas' lips parted in a gentle sigh, he arched into Dean's touch reveling in the feel of calloused fingers against his smooth skin. He caught one of Dean's hands in both of his own, studying it, stroking each finger, running the backs of his knuckles across the palm. He brought the hand to his lips, kissing all five finger tips, before locking eyes with Dean and slipping the first two fingers into his mouth.

Dean watched unblinking as Cas swirled his tongue all around and in between his fingers, sucking them, licking them, teasing him. He inhaled through his nose, nostrils flaring.

"You're gonna be the death of me, Cas."

Cas slid the fingers out of his mouth and reached to tug Dean down closer to him by the sleeve of his tee shirt. Dean obliged, shedding the thin fabric before settling onto his elbows, pressing a kiss to Cas' chin, then his lips in slow, syrupy movements. He felt two strong arms encircle his back, as Cas embraced him, forcing their bare chests as close together as possible.

"Dean," He whispered into the dark behind the man's back "Make me feel good."

Dean rolled his shoulders, shivering at the request, forcing himself not to tear off Cas' jeans and fuck him senseless right then.

"I will baby, I will. I just don't want to rush. I wanna take my time with you."

"Then take your time," Cas continued "But please...please..." He cupped the denim-restricted bulge between Dean's legs, "I just need to feel you."

And all Cas ever had to do was ask, because Dean could never tell him no.

He swept him up once more, cradling his ribs, grasping the back of his head, kissing him until his lungs burned for air and his lips felt raw. Dean tore at the belt around Cas' waist, all the while feeling someone else's hands make quick work of freeing him from his jeans. The undressing was clumsy, and frantic, and passionate; two people more than desperate to be rid of anything creating a physical barrier between them.

And then, there was nothing separating them, no clothes, no worries, no uncertainties. All of these things either lay in shadowy heaps on the carpet, or had been left at the door, making a run-down hotel room in Connecticut into a something far more sacred; a personal sanctuary where two men could worship one another with no holds barred. It was as if this unfamiliar place stripped them of any reservations, allowed them total liberation.

"Fuck." Dean swore as Cas wrapped his legs around him, grinding their lower halves together. He could feel Cas' length slide against his own with every roll of their hips.

"Ah...Dean. Dean, wra-. Oh God..." Cas stuttered, too overwhelmed by physical pleasure to be articulate, "Wrap, wrap your- Dammit."

Dean smirked, reaching down to wrap one of his hands around the both of them, "S'that what you wanted baby?"

Cas cried out in response, clutching at Dean's arms as he began to stroke slowly. Dean moved his hand in long, even motions, squeezing harder at the base and loosening his grip once he reached the tips. Cas was afraid he might already be about to come undone. But Dean moved his hand away, eliciting a tiny sound of protest from Cas.

"Not yet," He breathed against the base of Cas' throat "Hold on for me just a little bit longer."

Dean ran his tongue down Cas' stomach, stopping to place a cluster of lingering kisses just below his navel. He continued trailing a string of kisses down to the sensitive patch just above Cas' pubic area, pausing once more to pay special attention to this spot. He swirled his tongue in intricate patterns over the hypersensitive skin, lifting his head to blow cool air across the wetness, causing Cas to jerk and shudder.

"Dean..."

"Feel good, baby?"

"Dean, please."

"Shhhh." Dean hushed, moving his face to hover above Cas' straining erection, making his words just a little breathier than necessary when he spoke "Gotta be patient."

Knowing Dean's mouth was so close to his groin set every nerve in Cas' body sparking. It was like he could physically feel every fiber of his being calling out, begging for this man with irritatingly unshakable willpower to lose control.

"I need it."

"Don't worry, baby, I'm gonna give it to you."

Dean pressed a hot kiss to the inside of both Cas' thighs, barely slipping his tongue to tease the crevices where his hips joined them. He delighted in the small whimpers and frustrated groans he could hear coming from up top of the bed.

"Dammit, Dean, please."

Dean smirked wolfishly, "Anything you want, Cas."

Cas' head snapped forward with such force his chin smacked against his chest when he felt Dean's tongue, lick a broad, flat stripe up his length.

"Holy hell!" He cried out as he gaped at Dean who was staring back up at him with devilish eyes.

"Is that what you wanted, baby?" Dean asked, deviance seeping through his innocent tone.

Cas' eyes were glued to Dean's perfect, pink, glistening lips.

"More..." He uttered breathlessly.

Dean chuckled softly. He wrapped his hand around Cas, gripping him loosely, and sank his lips slowly over his tip. Cas' head dropped back against his pillow as Dean continued to suck no more than his first two inches; it was maddening. And just when he thought he might be about to lose his mind, Dean would remove one of his fingers, taking Cas a few inches deeper.

It was sweet, agonizing torture.

And when Dean finally unfurled his last finger, Cas propped himself up a little so he could watch the other man's head as it bobbed up and down, sucking him nearly to the root, cheeks hollowed, mouth stretched wide. He paused, only long enough to utter a single phrase.

"God, Cas. You taste so good."

And then he was on him again. He moaned around Cas, sending vibrations surging throughout his entire body. It was almost unreal how amazing it felt.

Cas could feel his body climbing. He could feel the warmth pooling in the pit of his stomach, the involuntary spasms, the heavenly ascent before the earth shattering climax and he wanted to badly to let himself fall over the edge.

"Dean, I can't...I'm gonna..."

But Dean didn't stop. Instead, he began working faster, sucking harder, taking Cas deeper. It was too much. Cas mustered every ounce of self control he possibly could, tearing at the sheets around him, biting down hard on the inside of his cheek willing his body to hang on just a while longer, but he couldn't help it; he fell fast and hard.

Stars exploded behind his eyelids as he reached his peak, thighs shaking, heart stopping as he pulsed and spilled into Dean's mouth.

"Dean, Dean, Deandeande-" He chanted his name until it slurred into a wordless sound of pure pleasure.

Dean pulled his mouth away, licking his lips clean. He crawled back up Cas' spent body to kiss him hungrily. Cas returned the kiss, tasting his own salty, mineral tange on Dean's tongue. He let out a satisfied hum.

"See, I told you you tasted amazing." Dean smiled into the kiss.

Cas laughed, reaching up to run his fingers through already messy, blonde hair. "I tried to wait," He said sheepishly, feeling Dean's erection still resting rock hard and unsatisfied against him, "I'm sorry."

"Oh yeah, I'm so upset, Cas. Can't you tell?" Dean snorted.

Cas giggled, pressing his forehead to the man's above him. He used his fingernails to draw circles across Dean's broad shoulders, feeling his arousal twitch with every light scratch. Cas continued to swirl the circles down to the base of the Dean's spine, then reached to wrap his fingers around his shaft.

"Let me make it up to you." He whispered.

A shiver ran through Dean, feeling Cas' hand encasing him. His eyelids fluttered as he involuntarily began moving his hips towards the fist. He loved getting Cas off, loved to watch him squirm and hear him beg and groan. He loved the way he felt in his mouth and the way he sounded when he called his name and the way his limbs went limp after he finally finished. Dean could easily spend hours making Cas come again and again, but the thrumming ache building between his legs begged him to find his own release.

Dean looked at Cas, completely consumed by both the lust and admiration he felt for him and nodded mutely.

Cas kissed Dean's cheek as he rolled out from beneath him and padded across the carpet to where he'd abandoned the duffle. He knelt to unzip the bag, shifting through the junk he'd thrown into it to make it appear full, searching for the one useful thing he'd packed. He smiled to himself as he felt his fingers brush over a long, plastic cylinder. Cas grabbed the bottle of lubrication and carried it with him to climb back in bed next to Dean.

"See," He flashed a crooked grin "I told you it had some things we might need."

Dean took the bottle from Cas, turning it over in his hands before laying it down beside him.

"You really had this planned out, huh?"

Cas scooted closer to Dean, tracing the lines of a small, silvery scar near the center of his chest, "You do all these things for me, all these incredible things." He said, his eyes following the path his fingers traced, "Most of them are little things some people might not even notice. But, I just wanted to do something for you for once."

Dean caught Cas' chin between his thumb and forefinger and lifted his face so he could see its earnest expression. He swallowed hard. There was so much he wanted to say, so many things he needed to tell Cas. But those things could wait, only they couldn't, not really, but they would have to. Because even if Dean had been willing to speak, he was sure he wouldn't have been able to find the right words.

So instead, he brought Cas' lips to his, and kissed him as if this were their last first kiss.

When their mouths parted, Cas stared up at Dean through dark, think lashes and said softly,

"Dean, I want you."

There were no teasing games this time as Dean moved in between Cas' thighs. There was nothing left inside of him that wanted to play coy, he needed Cas.

Dean snatched the up the bottle from the folds of the sheets. The cap snapped open and the sweet, artificial scent wafted into the air as he squeezed some of the thick jelly onto his fingers, coating them. There was no hesitation now, Dean was impatient, he was shaking.

He brought his fingers to Cas' opening and slid a single one, as slowly and carefully as he could, inside of him. Dean worked Cas with one finger, making sure not to let his hunger get in the way of appropriately preparing Cas. When he felt the muscles beginning to yield to him, Dean inserted another finger equally as cautious as before.

Cas gasped at the gradually increasing pressure, forcing himself further down on Dean's fingers, letting him know he was ready for more.

"Fuck, Cas." Dean swore as he brought together three fingers, "You sure you're already ready for three?"

"No. No more fingers." Cas panted still rocking up and down on Dean's hand "I need you, I'm ready."

"Cas, are you-"

"Dean, please."

Dean nodded vigorously, he groped the bed frantically until he found where he'd left the bottle of lube. He slicked himself generously before aligning himself with Cas, bracing his hands on either side of the pillow, stealing a kiss from the man whispering his name almost like it was a prayer.

Little by little, Dean pushed into Cas, breaching the tight outer ring of muscles, inching deeper and deeper, filling him up until he was buried to the hilt inside him.

"Fuck!"

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's back, digging his nails into the flesh, pulling himself closer as he moaned and whimpered and reveled in the feeling of being so utterly full.

Dean wound one of his arms around Cas to hold him "I gotcha, baby." He whispered, "I gotcha."

Dean had sworn to Cas that he would fuck him so good he'd never forget it. But what was unfolding between the two of them was on a level so much deeper than just physical pleasure. They had made love before, but it had never felt quite like this, so raw and needy and honest. It was beautiful. Two men, madly in love, caught tight in each other's embrace, not only touching but feeling.

"Cas," Dean breathed as he bucked his hips in and out, increasing his pace.

Cas pressed his face further into the crook of Dean's neck, clinging to him, needing to be as close to him as possible.

"Gah... Cas... I fucking love you, fuckin' love you so much."

Cas brought his hand to clasp the top of Dean's neck where it met his skull.

"I love you, Dean."

"Cas!"

And Dean came, joining Cas in the free fall into bliss; ecstasy so searing hot he could feel it down in his bones burning him up, calling out the name of the one he knew would be waiting for him when he finally reached the end of his rush.

Cas Cas Cas

Cas held Dean as he rode out the final waves of his climax, kissing his forehead, stroking his hair, allowing him to collapse on top of him as he came down from his high. Dean rested his cheek against Cas' chest, exhausted. He could feel deft fingers massaging his scalp and combing through his hair, it was soothing.

They lay there in the darkness, huddled close together. Everything seemed much quieter now in the afterglow of mind blowing sex. The room was deathly silent except for the noise of other people walking past their window, opening and closing doors, starting their cars; all of these sounds coming in from the outside could be heard perfectly clear.

Dean's eyebrows shot up in a sudden moment of realization, he smiled against Cas' ribs.

"Do you think they heard us?"

Cas laughed, "I don't know?" He tucked his chin into his chest to grin back at Dean, "But I hope so."

Whew! That was actually a lot harder than you would think it might have been to write, but it was a lot of fun to go back and read ;) Unfortunately, these past few weeks leading up to finals have been much busier than I originally anticipated. I've been burning the candle at both ends guys That being said, there will be no update next week. The next couple of chapters are absolutely crucial to the story, and I don't want to compromise their quality because of my feeling overwhelmed. I hope you guys won't be too upset with me, I'm going to do my best to be back on track again by May 7th. But anyway, I love you all dearly (seriously you guys brighten my day) and I hope you've enjoyed this week's chapter! Now if you'll excuse me, I need a glass of wine. Cheers!

(Oh, and if you've never heard the song Glycerine, I would highly suggest listening to it. It's definitely one of my all time favorites.)