A/N: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'mmmmmmmmmmmm ! didja miss me? Here I am with the seventh chappy. You guys better love me for this. Here, Bella and Edward get closer and there is a totally unseen turn of events. I NEED REVIEWS! C'mon people DIG DEEP! Love ya!
-xoxo Sirena32
Cold
BPOV:
We didn't go to the place Edward was telling me about simply because it got too late. Esme kept me for dinner which turned out to be the most AMAZING chicken and bell pepper stew and then Alice persuaded me to stay longer for movie night. When I said I would, Emmett picked me up in a bone crushing hug and swung me around until Edward told him that he was killing me. Emmett really was just a big teddy bear.
At the end of the movie, I stood up and announced that I really had to get home because I hadn't told Charlie where I'd be.
"Oh, okay," Alice told me, at last giving in. "But you have to come back soon," She stressed.
I smiled at her. "Cross my heart,"
"Or die." She said giggling. Making a face at her, I turned to Esme.
"Thankyou so much Esme, for having me."
"Think nothing of it dear," She said kindly. "Edward will walk you out." She nodded towards him and he stood up, stretching.
"Of course," He led to me to the door and even walked me out to my truck. It was really dark out and the woods that had seemed enchanted before now seemed creepy at night and I was glad of the company.
"Your family is amazing," I said, because I couldn't help but believe that it was true.
He shrugged. "I guess. I don't know what we look like to someone on the outside looking in." He stood with his hands in his pockets, his hair falling in his face. Without thinking, I reached out and brushed it out of his eyes. It was extremely soft and silky, cool to the touch and I wanted to run my hands through it properly, but I quickly snatched my hand back as if it had burned me. Get a hold of yourself Bella, I scolded myself.
He looked surprised for a second then he smiled softly, wistfully and moved closer to me, forcing me up against my truck. He leaned his face closer to mine and my heart started sprinting and pounding so hard in my chest that it started to hurt. I inhaled sharply and that was a mistake since his scent overwhelmed my thought processes.
I was open, I realized. That was why he could get to me this way. I quickly retreated into my icy fortress. I opened my eyes and stared Edward down.
"If you only walked me out here to kiss me, you've got another thing coming, buddy." I told him, my eyes narrowing. Instead of answering, he brought his hand up and tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear, then trailed his hand down my neck, to my shoulder, down my arm until he came to my hand. He held it and brought it to his lips and kissed it softly. Still holding my hand, he leaned closer, to my ear.
"We're going to be great friends, Bella." He whispered, sending shivers down my spine and tickling my ear with his cool breath. His hand was warm and the trail he'd traced down my arm was tingling pleasantly. I had been paralyzed this whole time, my resolve to not let him in again, crumbling. Before I could say or do anything, Edward let go of my hand, leaving it cold without his warmth, and turned and walked away.
Over the next few weeks, I gradually opened up to Edward, becoming more kindly and gentle towards him. I began to tell him things, to confide in him and to trust him. He scarcely ever left my side and I enjoyed his company. He was witty, intelligent, charming and very protective. He was my guardian angel, my best friend, and my personal bit of sunshine every day. Before, his problem had been getting me to smile more. Now, it was getting me to smile less. I was that happy. When I was with him at least.
At night, I went to sleep afraid the nightmares would come back, but feverishly hoping they wouldn't. My hopes were in vain. I woke up screaming, tears sliding down my cheeks every morning and eventually I took to staying awake most of the night to avoid my dream hell. I became haunted-looking and pale. There were dark circles underneath my eyes and I was forever tired, but too afraid to sleep. I was becoming weaker and weaker as the ghosts from my past came back to haunt me. I would never deserve happiness for as long as I lived.
Of course it didn't help that Edward began to notice. "Bella, what's wrong?" he asked me the moment I opened my car door. He took my hand and helped me out of my truck and I fell against him as my legs momentarily gave way beneath me. His arms wrapped around my waist as he supported my weight.
I pulled back and looked away from him, avoiding his gaze. "I'm fine," I said, unconvincingly.
He reached out and gently caught my chin, turning it towards him. "Bella, you're not fine," he said softly. I stared up at him, terrified of revealing that secret, of losing him forever. I didn't want him to know, but I was so close to pouring my heart out. "Tell me," he breathed. Just as I opened my mouth, the warning bell rang, telling us that it was time to get to first period. Talk about saved by the bell.
All day I worked at appearing upbeat and cheery, trying to be my usual self. I laughed and joked and teased Edward and Alice. During fourth period gym, Edward and I finished our thirty laps around the gym in record time and were allowed to sit on the bleachers while the rest of our classmates continued to run. Edward collapsed onto his back, throwing an arm over his face. "I'm beat," He said. "What was that? Two miles? Three?"
"A mile an a half," I said, coming over to sit next him. I picked up his head and put it on my lap and looked down at him, my pony-tail falling over my shoulder and tickling his cheek. "I thought you said you could run five miles with ease, but look at you, half dead over only one," I ran my hands through his hair, enjoying the way it curled around my fingers.
"And a half," He added indignantly. "Besides," He continued, "When running, you're supposed to maintain one speed the whole time. It's hard for me to pace myself when you're constantly dragging me into a race." It was true. I had jogged up to him and stayed with him for a while, then jogged past him and as he ran to catch up with me I had run faster and faster until we were full on sprinting, trying to beat each other to the end. Needless to say, it was a tie.
"Touché," I said, still playing with his hair. I leaned back against the bleachers and closed my eyes, sighing. Unsurprisingly, I saw the imprint of the leading man in my nightmares on the insides of my lids and quickly opened my eyes. Edward must have felt me jump suddenly because he opened his eyes and stared at me as if he was trying to read my mind. "You fell asleep?" I asked him playfully, trying to distract him from me. "I guess I was too much for ya after all," I laughed.
"Bella, what's wrong?" He asked quietly, his soft voice cutting my laughter short. I looked down, a reflex move as well as a mistake, considering the fact that Edward was looking up at me from my lap and it was easy to get caught in that gaze.
"Nothing," I said, trailing my finger down his nose. "Just some bad dreams I've been having. Nothing serious."
"Bella, guess what?" he said, sitting up.
"What?" I answered half-heartedly.
"You're a crap liar," I looked down at my hands but he lifted my chin with his fingers, gently, and I was again caught in his kindly eyes. "But I'm okay with that."
"Thank you," I told him, meaning it with every fiber of my being. I was really truly grateful to him for being here for me, knowing I was lying through my teeth and accepting it until I was ready to talk to him about it, and for being my friend.
"Anything for you," He told me sweetly, smiling my favorite crooked smile. He cupped my cheek with his hand and I leaned into him closing my eyes for a moment before opening them again and smiling at him. I looked away from him to see Jessica, Lauren and every other slut in the book staring daggers at me. I smiled benevolently at them and blew a kiss. Skanks.
"You're so mean," Edward said, chuckling. Oops, must have said that out loud.
"Yeah, well, what can I say?" I said, spreading my hands out in front of me. "I'm naturally aggressive."
"You're lying again," Edward sang and I smacked his arm.
Later, after school, Edward was walking me to my truck when I saw a flyer on one of the school walls for the Winter Ball next Saturday. "Well that's something else to add to my list of 'Things I'm Not Going To'." I said, mostly to myself.
Edward glanced at the paper, then back to me. "Won't you come?" he asked.
"Did you not just hear me say I wasn't?"
"Come on, Bella, please, you've got to come." He begged me.
"Why?" I asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.
"Because Alice is forcing us all to go and I'll be bored to death without you." He pulled the puppy dog eyes on me.
I smiled at him. "So not working and I'm so not going."
"If you go, you'll get a favor in return," He wheedled at me.
Five, four, three, two, one… "Okay, okay," I gave, "I'll go, but you're driving me."
"Great! I'll pick you up at eight." He grinned mischievously at me, before jogging to his car.
Saturday night, found me in a ridiculous dress, wearing ridiculous shoes, getting ready to go to a ridiculous dance. I fidgeted and paced, waiting for Edward to show up. Finally, the doorbell rang and instead of finding Edward, Alice was at the door looking gorgeous in a black ball gown.
"Sorry it's just me, but Carlisle, held Edward up," She said, smiling apologetically.
I smiled at her and hugged her. "It's fine," I told her. I did a little spin. "Do I look okay?"
Alice raised her eyebrows. "Okay? You want to know if you look okay? Bella, you look freaking amazing!" She squealed and hugged me again. "I knew I'd made a good choice when I decided to make you my best friend!"
I patted her hair and laughed. "I love you too, Ally."
EPOV:
I was at the dance, by the punch table, wondering where on earth Bella was. I had sent Alice to pick her up for me since I was held up at home and was now worried as I watched the stairs.
The dance was being held in the ballroom in Fork's only decent hotel, L'Hotel De La Rue. The Street Hotel. Don't ask me why. Maybe the builders or whoever named the place wanted it to sound French and fancy, but didn't know a word of French. Whatever. Anyway, the whole place was decorated to look like winter. The lights were flashing different shades of a wintry blue, delicate looking white snowflakes hung from the ceiling and fake snow covered the stage where a band was playing. Dry ice fog covered the dance floor and almost everything else. The overall effect was nice and pretty.
"Looking for someone?" A voice asked behind me. I spun hopefully, only to find that it was only Alice. Wait, Alice?
"Alice where's Bella?" I asked, searching the crowd for anything I'd missed. Just as she was about to answer, everyone went silent, including the band playing onstage. Alice smiled at me.
"She's over there," She said, pointing towards the stairs leading from the lobby. Every face was turned in shock towards the girl floating down the stairs.
She wore a dark blue gown that clung to her slender form like a second skin before flowing out gracefully past her feet. The straps sat just off her shoulders almost not interrupting the flow of her collarbone to her shoulders. Her neck was long and graceful and her skin was the smoothest ivory touched by just a shade of pink, like peaches and cream. Her hair flowed down in loose curls, dark against her fair skin. The overall effect as she glided down the steps was enchantingly beautiful.
"Bella?" I whispered in disbelief. Her descent came to an end and as she looked around the room searchingly, I vaguely wondered who she could be looking for before I mentally kicked myself in disgust at my stupidity. Of course she was searching for me. I jolted into action, weaving my way through the crowd to get to her.
Everyone stared as I strode up to her and she smiled as I took her hand and kissed it. Maybe I was overdoing the handsome prince thing just a bit, but at that moment, I really didn't care.
"Would you like to dance?" I asked her softly.
She grinned up at me. "Not particularly, but let's."
Still holding her hand, I led her to the dance floor as the band started up again, singing a song from Fools for Rowan called Dead. I put my hand on her waist as people cleared the floor and she put her hand in mine.
If I could borrow, all my tomorrows
Spend them all today I'm sure I'd find a way to get you back
But my frustration, desperation
Is causing me to wither underneath a sky turned black
It hurts to breathe, I can't believe, I have to face the moment that I
We spun around the floor together, Bella holding the flowing gown of her dress out of the way with one hand and holding my hand with the other. She was warm in my arms and she smelled like lilac and freesia.
DREAD, WE'RE DEAD, WE'RE OVER,
OVER JUST LIKE THAT
THE LOVE IS GONE, GONE FOREVER
AND IT'S NOT COMIN' BACK
I leaned closer to her to whisper in her ear. "You look beautiful," She flushed a delicate pink and looked up at me, a small smile playing around her mouth.
"You don't look so bad yourself." She said.
Your heart and my heart, you ripped them apart
But there's still pieces of you that you've gone and left behind
You don't want me, but you still haunt me
I lie awake cause I'm afraid that if I close my eyes
I'll see your face, feel that pain, the pain I felt the moment that you
As we spun around the floor, other couples gradually began to join us. First my family, Alice with Jasper and Emmett with Rosalie then other couples.
SAID, WE'RE DEAD, WE'RE OVER,
OVER JUST LIKE THAT
THE LOVE IS GONE, GONE FOREVER
AND IT'S NOT COMIN' BACK
And it hurts to breathe, I can't believe, I close my eyes but I just can't forget
I see your face, feel the pain, the pain I felt the moment that you
I spent the rest of the dance caught in Bella's deep, brown eyes, getting lost in the
velvety chocolate as the song ended and everyone clapped.
SAID, WE'RE DEAD, WE'RE OVER,
OVER JUST LIKE THAT
THE LOVE IS GONE, GONE FOREVER
AND IT'S NOT COMIN' BACK
She woke up first from the daze that had befallen the both of us and let go of my hand. I dropped mine from her waist.
"Do you want to get something to drink?" She asked me.
I smiled warmly at her. "Why not?"
Later that night, I'd just shaken off Jessica, who had forced me into a dance with her, when I started looking for Bella. I searched the entire ballroom for her, but couldn't find her until I saw her leaning against the balcony rail outside in the chilly night air in her thin, backless gown without a jacket or coat on. Sighing, I went and slid the sliding glass door open and stepped out onto the balcony, closing it behind me. "Bella?"
She didn't stir, didn't look up. Instead, she stared straight ahead at the stars and the night sky. The moon was large and full and partly covered by wispy clouds. The air was freezing and by a miracle alone there was no rain. It was so cold you could see your breath.
"Bella what are you doing out here with no jacket?" I said, taking my suit jacket off to put it around her shoulders. "You'll freeze to death."
"You don't have to give me your jacket, Edward, I'm fine." She said finally, still looking at the sky, her breath puffing out in front of her.
"Don't be ridiculous," I told her, putting it around her shoulders, despite her protests. Good God, she was freezing! I put my hands on her shoulders and attempted to rub some warmth into them while she grasped the edges of my jacket closer to herself.
"Cold is good," She said, as if speaking from a dream. "The cold is safe. It feels so…nice out here, opening up and surrendering." She continued while I stared at her, speechless. "It's cleansing…pure. Just imagine, letting the wind freeze my soul. Wouldn't it be wonderful?" She spoke almost as if she were in love, dreamy and soft while I stared at her in horror. Then she started to cry, pretty little diamonds, sliding down her cheeks. "It hurts," she whimpered, crying. "Feeling hurts."
I wrapped my arms around her, trying to keep her warm as well as comfort her and she buried her face in my chest and sobbed. I didn't know what to do, but I desperately needed to do something. Anything.
"Bella," I pleaded. "Tell me how I can fix this,"
"I keep seeing it happen," she gasped. "over and over, no matter what I do. I keep seeing them Edward!"
"What? What do you keep seeing?" I asked, desperation filling my voice.
She looked up at me, her eyes big and soulful, shining with tears and exhaustion. "My dreams," she whispered.
BPOV:
Edward took me home after the dance and because I was afraid to be left alone, I asked him to come in with me. Charlie was over at Billy's place since I'd told him I'd be out late and he was most-likely going to spend the night.
I flipped on the lights in every room I passed and then went up the stairs to my room with Edward following me. While he waited for me in my room, I took a quick shower then put on a baggy t-shirt and pajama pants. My hair fell down my back, still slightly damp after its washing as I stepped back into my room.
"Edward could you stay with me a bit longer? You can shower if you like; My dad has some old clothes that might fit you." I asked, still a bit trembly and shaky from my episode at the dance. Everything had just come crashing down on me, making me feel tortured and lost with no chances or escape.
Edward studied my expression for a moment before nodding. "Okay." I went to my dad's room and grabbed Edward some clothes before going back to my room.
He took a quick shower and emerged, my dad's clothes slightly large on him. I giggled at him, momentarily distracted from the TV. He grinned at me and held his arms out, turning around slowly, modeling for me.
"How do I look?" He asked, managing to keep a straight face. I, however, failed and busted out laughing. "Better not answer that, then." He said, chuckling along with me.
He sat next to me on my bed and I tucked my legs underneath me and leaned against him. He put his arm around me and we watched a few scary movies that were actually quite laughable until I began to doze off.
Edward of course, noticed me going limp against his side. "Bella get in bed, you're exhausted."
I shook my head stubbornly and found myself being lifted up in two strong arms. Edward put me under my covers and as he tried to pull away, I held onto his shirt. "If I have to sleep, I want you to stay with me," My eyes were closing, but I struggled to stay awake, knowing that I wouldn't be able to sleep dreamlessly unless he was there with me.
His brow furrowed. "Are you sure that's the best idea?"
"It's what I need," I told him.
He nodded. "Okay," he pulled the covers back and climbed into bed with me. He lay tensed up until I curled up against his side. He put his arms around me. "Is this okay?" he whispered. I nodded and buried my face in his chest, just glad to be held. He was warm and comforting and just there. I felt safe in his arms. For the first time in weeks, I slept, unbothered by my nightmares.
A/N: And I hope you guys love me again! What do you think? I've been working hard on this you guys. This is THIRTEEN whole pages! I NEED REVIEWS! I'm going to get the next chapter up as soon as I can. Love you guys!
-xoxo Sirena32
