CHAPTER 7
Jokes On BJ!
BJ fly up to a gate and looks at the flyer.
"According to the flyer this is the place babes."
"Are you sure about this BJ?"
"Of course, of course. Your being paranoid Lyds."
"Okay! Alright BJ. Don't say that I warned you."
"Just don't say I told you so if I'm wrong."
BJ enters the gate with Lydia and they walk down a spooky old walkway down the road while the sun is setting the trees seem to move and whisper to each other. Monsters seem to lurk in the shadows whispering and noises coming from the bushes. They keep walking arm in arm for about five minutes until they see a sign that says stop.
"This must be it."
"Looks like a shack in the middle of nowhere. Sounds fishy."
"Oh who cares seems like fun to me!"
BJ and Lydia walk in and they see a gambling table with people dressed in old western clothes playing poker.
"Huh seems like I'm not in the right attire."
"I guess not BJ."
BJ zaps them into proper western attire. Lydia wearing a black and white western old fashioned long dress with a white hate with a black bow and BJ in he's brown long coat and hat and old fashioned clothes.
"So fellas mind if you tell me if I'm in the right place? They say the competition for the best dirtiest jokes win's a large amount of money is here/"
"Yip, your in the right spot."
"So mind if I join in?"
"Well to be a contestant first you have to play us a game of poker."
"Fine with me. I'm in."
"Oh ya just to let you know if you loose you have to pay up."
"How Much/"
"One hundred dollars!"
"Wo, how much if I win the dirtiest contest?"
"Double Plus a shinny award made of Gold plate."
"I'm in!"
"BJ! This sounds like a scam."
"Oh hush and just watch and stop ruining the fun for me Lyds. Sesh!"
"Errrr!"
BJ sits down with them and plays a game of poker. Minutes pass by and he keeps getting misses. Just when he thought he was having he's worst luck he got straight house.
Just in he's worse luck someone else got straight aces. He lost!
"Shit!"
"Okay Beetlejuice! Fes up the mula!"
"Hey com on just give me one more shot!"
"Please just let me into the competition. Com on fellas, help an old friend out well ya Com on, com on, pretty please? Just one more shot! How about it?"
"No! Do you gots the money or not?"
"See about the money, I swore I thought I was going to win so I didn't bring any money."
"Why I outta BeetleJuice!"
"Please no Mr. How about I play you a game and If I win you let BJ go."
"….And if I win?"
"I'll give you twice as much as he owes you."
"Sounds tempting but I know something even better."
"What's that?"
"How about yourself?" He says laughing evilly.
"Ew! Well Okay! Just let BJ go."
"No Lydia you can't have her!"
"It's okay BJ just pray that I win!"
They let BJ go and Lydia sat down to play some poker. Lydia pulls a straight pair of 4 queens. She lays it down. Just when she thought she won he pulls a full house.
"I won sister! Now fes up!"
"BJ run!"
BJ grabs Lydia and tries to fly away but two big fellows husky cow boys stand right in the way. They get grabbed by two men from behind.
"Gotch ya!
"Looks like the joke is on you BeetleJuice!"
One man takes Lydia into a private room and chains her up to he's bed. The other man chains up BJ hands in back with special chains that shock BJ every time he tries to use he's zapping powers he gets zapped times ten.
"Owe! That fucken hurts! What are these things/"
"Those are specially made for you. Every time you use your powers you get zapped times ten back. Don't think you can run away from this one BJ. We were counting on Jacque to deliver that flyer to you we even bribed him. If you didn't already know we rigged the poker game to make you think you had the winning cards and then pull out a better one. There was no contest! The jokes on you BJ! Lets go. Move it!"
"Where are you taking me? Where did you take Lydia?"
"Chained to my bed. Me and the guys are going to share your young hot girlfriend I don't know how you would manage to pull that off. How did you trick her? Anyway, were going to make you the biggest laughing stock of the town."
"Take him to the dressing room."
They take BJ and undress him naked and give him a bubble bath with pink bath bubbles while he screams and shouts.
"No, anything but that no! Wa!"
He starts crying while they have some gay guy named Dick scrub he's naked body while he's friends video tape it.
After that they put BJ in a pink dress with lollie pop pictures all over it. Then strap a dilldo on he's crotch on top of the dress. Then make him suck on a lolly pop sucker while singing Yankee doodle dancing like a ballerina video taping him while he's crying and whining."
"Please stop making me sing and dance in this stupid thing. Please, Oh God no! Stop."
"Keep singing fag boy!"
"Oh, bo, hu, ahhhh! Wa! Yankee doodle…." BJ sings while he crys.
Then one of the boys go from behind and make humping movements from behind BJ making it look like he's doing him from behind while video taping it.
"Ew! Get off of me you fags.!"
"Hey you're the one dressed as a little girl ya queer!"
One of the guys takes out another dildo and tells BJ to get on he's knees and open he's mouth.
"No not that. Please Oh hell no!"
"Open your mouth honey you know you like dick Say it!"
BJ looks into the camera.
"I like dick." Then sucks on the dildo in and out of he's mouth.
"Okay now lets take a ride."
"No more! Where are we going?"
"You'll find out!"
They strap BJ to a little girls bike and tie him up to the wheel while it's tied and hocked onto a car and drive around with BJ ridding the bike wearing all the little girl get up while singing yankee doodle and being video taped by the camera man in the back seat of the car laughing as well as others they pass by in the neither world laughing at BeetleJuice pointing at him. The news people from the newspapers and Neither world TV come out and take pictures of him and video tape him.
They finally drop BJ off at he's place and take the chains off of him and leave. BJ picks up the newspaper already published of him and it read: BJ the biggest joke of The Neither world! With a picture of him wearing the pink dress with a dildo strapped to him ridding a little girls bike.
"Fuck! I'm going to kill those guys! Too bad there already dead. I'm just going to have to get even!"
He changes back to he's stripped suit and turns on the TV to see him on the Neither world news ridding a little girls bike. He turns it back off and cusses.
"I bet prince Vince is having a heart attack laughing for the first time at me!"
Back at Prince Vince's castle. Prince Vince picks up the News paper and smiles for the first time when he see's BJ on the cover wearing girly clothes strabed to a lttile girls bike. He turns the TV and watches it on National Neither worlds news and starts laughing for the first time in centuries he grabs he's heart from a heart attach and screams and laughs on the ground gaping for air!
"Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha! Owe, I can't breath! Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" laughs prince Vince.
Prince Vince passes out!
Back to Lydia!
"Help BeetleJuice, Help!"
Men try to have their way with Lydia and try to rape her but she keeps kicking them when they try to tie her legs.
"No! Don't touch me! I don't know where you've taken BeetleJuice but all I have to do is say he's name one more time. BeetleJuice!"
BeetleJuice appears!
"Oh. No you don't fucker!"
BJ kicks their ass then zaps them into winding toy operating boy coin dolls.
BeetleJuice zaps Lydia free and off they fly away. Back to BJ crib he find another newspaper by he's door opens it up and says Prince Vince in the Neither world hospital from a heart attack from laughing and he survived but in critical condition.
"BJ! What made Prince Vince laugh so hard he got a heart attack? He never laughs."
"Oh the boys gave me a bubble bath and put me in a little girls dress with a dildo strapped on me and tied me to a girls bike while my hair curled singing Yankee doodle made national headlines as the biggest joke of all neither world and made TV news. He must have saw it.'
"Oh no BJ that's horrible!"
"Tell me about it! I should have listens to you Lyds. Now I can never show my face again." Cries BJ then wraps himself around Lydia and starts sobbing!
"BeetleJuice! BeetleJuice! BeetleJuice!"
Poof, they pop back into Lydia's room.
BJ and Lydia sit on her bed and star into each other's eyes and she cups he's face as he does to her and they star into each others teary eyes until their faces get closer and closer and they start kissing.
"Mmmm!" Says Lydia.
"Yummm!" Replies BJ.
One kiss leads to another kiss until they are grouping each other passionately and so romantically they roll around in each other's embrace. They kiss each other all over. BJ takes off her poncho and she unbuttons BJ's shirt practically ripping it off and licking he's hairy chest and BJ rubes he's head into her boobies and then un hooks her bra and throws it on the floor and sucks on her breasts, Lydia gasps.
"Ugh! Mmmm oh yeah BJ, I love you!"
"Yum, Mmmmm! You make me feel like a man again, thank you, I love you Lyds."
They French kiss again and hug each other tightly in he's arms.
She pulls down he's pants and smelly underwear and tosses them to the ground.
Lydia gives BJ a BJ until he's hard and BJ slips off Lydia's panties onto the floor. Then she sits on he's face with he's tongue in her pussy and tongues it in and out until Lydia is so wet with desire and passion she gets off of BJ and bounces back on BJ lap and gives him a big wet kiss full of lust, passion and desire from he's juicy wet lips onto her passionate mouth French kissing each other full of maddening love. BJ thrusted he's cock into Lydia and they both moaned and groaned in pleasure in delightfully calling out each other's name.
"BeetleJuice! BeetleJuice! Beetle…" Lydia shouted as BJ put he's hands over her mouth.
"Be careful with the B word babes!"
"Oops! BJ I love you!"
Thrusting harder!
"Ugh, BJ, yes, yes, yes! I'm coming! Ughhhhh!"
"Yes, Oh yes I love you!, Ugh, ugh, ughhhh!"
Bouncing hard on top of him until they both came collapsing on each other passionately kissing each other. In their embrace, in love. They fall asleep!
Luckily Delia was out partying with Charles!
BeetleJuice and Lydia slept the rest of the night together in each other's arms.
Sleeping soundly and for the first time BJ didn't snore.! Sweet dreams!
