Harry was embracing someone, he could feel his lips getting closer to a nose-less face.
"Voldemort?"
"Well this is bloody awkward," Voldemort said, kissing Harry.
"What is going on?" Harry said, kissing Voldemort back.
"As you can probably tell, my great evil plan backfired. The legendary Cauldron of Shipping was supposed to torture you, to make you go mad... instead here we are... my how that scar brings out your mother's green eyes..."
"So you're back?" Harry felt a strange weight in his stomach.
"Yeah, Peter Pettigrew was hiding as the Weasley boy's rat and you were stupid enough to buy him that book and well... it was written at the idiot level."
"Who's Marmot Devil Drool?"
"I am, you stupid boy! Haven't you ever heard of anagrams? That's kind of my thing you know."
"Oh right, that makes sense."
"I wrote that book before all that unpleasantness when my killing curse misfired. Just in case something like that happened. A lot of my followers aren't the sharpest wands in the sheds."
"Good thinking, too bad all your other plots are so stupid." Harry said, kissing Voldemort again. He looked down at his stomach. Pregnant. He was definitely pregnant.
"Ok, now this is just getting silly," Voldemort grumbled.
"So, how do we get out of this situation?" Harry said. At this point both of them weren't very pleased with the situation.
"We can't. The Cauldron of Shipping is legendary... it has no solution, it will just keep pairing people who don't belong together until the entire world is engulfed in awkward misery."
Harry sighed and continued to snog Voldemort.
