It was an understatement to say that things had not been the same after the strange situation they had shared. The "incident" as now they called it. Maybe things would have been better between them if they had spoken about it, but they did not. It was awkward and it was out of the comfort zone they had so carefully created for years.
They had seen each other's private and more intimate thoughts and sometimes the connection allowed the other to see parts of their life, private moment that were not meant to be seen. Inconvenient moments, like that time Marinette found out that masturbation was a thing, because her boy had been doing it and his thoughts had crossed her mind. She did her best to keep that memory out of her mind, as far as she could.
They had learn how to handle it, and when a similar situation had happened they knew what to do. This "incident" was a whole new level and they did not know how to react, because it had not been an accident, they were both conscious and willing to participate.
They didn't step back, they didn't ask the other to stop, it was all because they wanted to do it. So how could that be an incident?
Marinette thought about it all the time, she couldn't put it aside, no matter what they were talking about, the images and feelings of it were running around her mind like a broken record stuck in a radio car.
It made the conversations with him uncomfortable because she was more focused on hiding those thoughts that in the conversation they were having.
On the bright side, she was better at hiding her emotions and creating walls around her thoughts now. Marinette wasn't sure why it was so easy to do it now, but she didn't complain. These thoughts were to private and until they didn't disappear she would continue building walls.
Still, it was frustrating. It had been almost two months for god's sake. They were already in April, she should be worrying about her last months of school, about exams and university, but no, there she was thinking about how magnificent it felt to have mind sex- Ugh, even thinking about it that way was bizarre, but how else could she call it?- and at the same time how weird and confusing it was for her feelings.
The last year had been full of confusing feelings. Do I still like Adrien? Do I like Chat Noir now? Do I feel something about him or it's just his constant presence in my head that makes me feel like I need him? Now it was worse.
"I finished it," The voice echoed in her head.
"Huh?" Marinette asked. She rubbed her eyes and blinked a few times, she had been staring at a death point without realizing.
"Amélie? I finished it," He explained.
"Oh, right!" Of course, Amélie! He said he was going to watch it. "Did you like it?"
"It was okay,"
"Okay?! You just watched Amélie for the very first time and you say it was "okay"?!"
"I knew you were going to get mad," He could hear him giggle, she could feel it too, in her chest. "I really liked it! Not my favorite movie but I did enjoy the cinematography. Also she, as a character: extremely interesting,"
"That's a better answer," She huffed, "What about the romance? You are a hopeless romantic, I thought you were going to be head over heels about them,"
"If I have to be honest, I didn't buy it,"
"Are you trying to piss me off again?"
"No, I'm being serious." She felt his hair on her fingertips; she felt his fingers going through her hair, "How could they fall in love? They never met each other, it's just too insta-lovey, I like when there's more depth,"
"Alright, it is a bit of an insta-love but I think it is deeper than that. Don't you believe someone can fall in love with another person just after a few minutes?"
"Well, that's different—
"Amélie didn't fall for his looks, she fell for what, who, he was. That's why the album with the photobooth pictures is so important. It's a unique collection, and it makes him alluring," Marinette sighed "And the way she chases him is odd, captivating. They fall in love with those actions, actions that show each other's personality. Can you see it?"
"Now, I do," A warm feeling sat on Marinette's heart, it wasn't hers. "It is like us,"
And that warm feeling was one. Marinette felt how she went stiff, she was probably pale right now.
"But we are not in love," She answered as fast as she could.
Yet.
She wasn't sure if he had said it or she had imagined it. She preferred to go with the second, swiftly changing the subject.
"Okay, next you have to watch La vida de Adele," She said the first movie that came to her mind, "One of my friends recommend it to me and it was good. You could watch it with your cinema-lover friend if you guys are not too busy studying"
"Oh, please let's not talk about studying, it's killing me,"
"We all have to do it, hon," Marinette laughed, she felt how the tension was leaving her body. It was nice that he was relaxed all the time, she wouldn't like to know how it would be if he was as awkward as she was.
"I know but," He rubbed his eyes. She felt it. "It's harder to study these days, I feel like I don't learn anything, I can barely focus,"
"Why is that?" He sounded worried. Marinette knew he was an excellent student and that he was forced to study more classes than necessary, but he always managed to do what he had to do -he reminded him of Adrien sometimes- so that's why it was so weird to hear him talk about it with so much frustration.
"I think it's the pills," Oh no, not the pills again. "These stupid things don't work, and they only make it harder for me,"
"You don't know that!" Marinette said, as she always did when this subject came to light, "It's been two months, you just have to wait one more and see."
"You say it as it was so easy. I'm the one taking them, you don't understand,"
"Boy—
"I don't feel anything, darling. It is so weird, it's like my emotions are gone and I function on autopilot. My friends have pointed out that I'm acting weird, but since I haven't told them about my depression I just have to play it cool and brush it off,"
"Why haven't you told them?" He said that they were incredible friends, they sounded like amazing people. Why was he so scared to tell them?
"I don't want to ruin our last semester together,"
"It won't ruin it, they love you
"Yeah, I know and because they do they are going to be hysteric, and babysit me. I know them, darling, they are the best but too overprotective.
"I think you should tell one of them. Movie-guy at least,"
"Uh…"
"Please, for me?"
"I don't want to,"
"Not right not but will you think about it?" She felt it, the moment when she convinced him.
"Yes,"
"And don't stop taking your meds,"
"Won't,
"Promise?
"Yes,
"Stop using monosyllables," She ordered, "Promise?"
"I promise I'll keep taking my stupid useless medicine only because I love you," He sighed "Is that good enough?"
"Yes, it's perfect," Marinette smiled satisfied. She rolled a piece of her hair around her finger and played with it.
"You know what is weird?" He asked.
"What?"
"I can feel you playing with your hair on my fingers, but not in my hair. It happens every time you play with the tips."
"It must be because your hair is shorter,"
"It's not that short anymore"
"Really? You said your dad didn't allow you to have it longer,"
"I grew up so I got to negotiate a bunch of things. It's not that long; I still have to go to school and work,"
"Mm… I'll have to re-imagine you," Marinette took the closest notepad and a pen. She drew the basic image he had of him as she could. "How long is it?"
"Uh… like Chat Noir's?" Marinette dropped the pen. Taking her phone beside her she looked at the watch.
"Oh god damn, I'm late!" She screamed. She was sure he had been able to hear her thoughts too.
"Late for what? What time is—" His mind went black, "Oh! It's this late?! She is gonna kill me,"
"Yeah, yeah, I gotta go, talk to you later," Marinette said, not paying much attention to his comments.
She stood up from the chair and ran to the trapdoor, to make sure her parents were sleeping. Then she ran back, to the little room she had handmade for Tikki years ago.
"Tikki, wake up," Marinette poked her a few times.
"It's time?" Tikki asked, rubbing her eyelids.
"Yes, and we are late so we have to be fast," She explained and whispered the transformation words almost immediately.
Chat Noir must have been waiting for her, and know how dramatic he could be, he may have been imagining the worst. She had to run.
xx
He was late. Ladybug was going to kill him.
It was one thing to be five minutes late, she would understand that, she would tease him a little but that was it. But he was not five minutes late, he was half an hour late.
This had never happened, he never made her wait, he was punctual, he was always punctual with her, sometimes he arrived minutes before the time they had agreed on just to be sure he wouldn't make her wait.
He hadn't realized how late it was, he was not looking at his watch and he had missed the alarm he had set on, all because of his girl. It wasn't exactly her fault, she didn't know he had to go, he was the one who had been too entertained on the conversation to realize he was letting his duty behind.
But, would you blame him?
She had been acting as her normal self, yes, she had been distracted at the beginning but it was nothing compared to how she had been the last two months. They had fucked up, he admitted it, they had crossed a line they wouldn't suppose to cross, but why didn't he feel guilty?
Well, he did feel guilty but he felt that way because he did not feel guilty about what he was supposed to be. Did that make sense? In some bizarre way, it did, just like everything else in his life.
Maybe it was because he had too many things on his mind and that "incident" was the least troublesome of them. Maybe it was because he had been wanting to do that for months.
It was good that his wall building skills grew stronger, now it didn't feel like an effort, it was natural for him to do it, and the last week he didn't seem to lose any more strength than necessary.
He wondered what had changed. Whatever it was he was thankful.
It shouldn't matter now, their friendship was already back to normal. The other problems like his stupid depression, his dad, and Luka remained, tormenting him every day that passed by, but Ladybug and his darling gave him the motivation and strength to keep going.
Yeah, Ladybug's problems were solved too, thanks heavens, or working together would have been a living hell.
Ladybug had been the easiest problem to resolve: she was drunk, she didn't know what she was doing and she acted like a fool. He teased her for a while, she asked him not to talk about it anymore and the problem was solved. Easy peasy.
It was always so easy to be with her. And here he was, repaying it by being late.
He ran like an akuma was chasing him until he got to the venue. When he stopped he could barely breathe. He leaned to the front, with his hands on his knees as he gained back the air that had left his lungs after the intense activity.
Lifting his head a little he was able to see Ladybug, in the same position, her chest was going up and down, a few meters in front of him.
"My lady," He wheezed "Did you forget about me?"
"Forget about you? How could I?" She said before coughing "Did you forget about me, kitty cat?"
"Impawssible! You're always on my mind," He leaned back, hands on his hips as he rolled his neck. "I lost track of time,"
"Same here," Ladybug approached him. She rubbed behind his black ears to greet him. "How have you been? I feel like I haven't seen you in a year,"
"Fine, just living life and drowning in homework," That was just half the truth, "How are you doing? Have you been studying hard, dots?"
"I could study harder," She giggled, "But I've been working on my portfolio,"
"Have you?!" He asked excitedly. He was so happy that she found time to work on her passion. He wasn't sure what it was exactly, she hadn't given many details but he knew she was an artist, "Oh, I want to see it,"
"Once this is over and I can tell you who I am, I'm gonna be at your door with all my portfolios. You'll get bored of them,"
"Nah," He softly punch her arm, "I'm going to be your biggest fan and I'll hang your drawings all over my room,"
"But then you won't be able to see my face, since you will cover the posters on your wall," They both laughed.
"I'll make space for both," Chat added.
"That sounds good," She smiled, looking at the horizon, "Let's sit?" He nodded and followed her to the edge of the building.
She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed.
"I wish this would be over already," Her voice broke mid sentence "I like us, no, I love us. I love our team and I adore Tikki and Master Fu and it has always been fun to learn about the powers of the miraculous and well, you know, everything, but I'm sooooo tired. Next year we are going to university and I just wish all of this would be over by now, so we could enjoy life as we are supposed to. Is that stupid wish?"
"No," He crossed his arms around her, "I wish it too. I wish I could take a nap without worrying about what can happen between those minutes I have of extra sleep, I wish I could go out with my friends without having to cancel on them all the time. I wish I could see you outside without having to hide behind these masks. I wish this to be over too,"
She sighed. "Are we being selfish?"
"I would not categorize our feelings as selfish, we just want to be happy as anyone else," He asked back.
"I think they would see them as selfish. We are important to the citizens, once this is over they are not going to let us go. We are part of their lives"
"Yes, we are part of their lives and they are part of us but we don't belong to them. We are not comics or cartoons superheroes, they can't… they can't demand us to stay, we are people too, and if we decided to step back and not appear ever again they would have to understand." He kissed her forehead "Don't think too much about it, it's not happening yet,"
"I can't stop thinking about it. They made a museum about us" Ladybug pointed down before hugging him back. "A fucking museum, minou. We have only been around for three years!"
"That's their problem. Also, is not such a big deal, I bet they did it mostly for money, not to honor us," He giggled "We are a magnificent tourist attraction,"
"Oh damn, we are," She laughed too.
They kept quiet, staring at the night sky while they held each other.
These days it was inevitable to not have deep conversations, they were about to finish a stage of their lives that they hadn't been able to fully enjoy and they needed each other's support to keep moving forward. The feelings that came with the end of school were not rare on teenagers, but no other teenager had been fighting a villain while trying to do well in school and keep a social life. Only they had so only they understood.
A beeping sound came from Chat's baton. They both shared a playful look.
"Are you ready, Bug?" "
"After all this time you still have to ask?" She crooked a brow. She pulled back from the hug and jumped to stand straight. She extended a hand to help her partner stand "Let's go, Chat Noir!"
"Let's sneak out!" They shouted before jumping down the building.
short, but we are all caught up with ao3.
this story was on hiatus (it's been for a year) but now im writing it again, so please enjoy this series as much as i love to write it! xx
