That night, as soon as Kobato was done with her anime, Kodaka swiped the remote from the coffee table and switched to the appropriate channel. Kobato stared at her older brother in surprise.
Kodaka waited patiently as the credits for the previous show rolled through. Then…
"Uwa…what is this garbage?" Kobato rolled on the ground, covering her eyes.
"Don't worry about it…it's club business," said Kodaka.
"Fu, fu, fu…of course I have to worry about it. If my other half destroys his mind with this filth, it obviously affects me."
"You're just worried about that because I cook dinner for you."
"Ku, ku, ku…you are my mortal servant, after all."
"Yeah, yeah. If you don't want to watch it, you don't have to."
"No…perhaps I will sample this bilge after all, if only to build up an immunity."
As Kodaka and Kobato soon realized, American reality shows were very addictive. Even as they both recoiled in disgust at the people on the screen, the whole wreck was too fascinating not to watch.
Kodaka turned off the television an hour later.
"Uwa…what was the point of that anyway?" moaned Kobato.
"It's for a friend," said Kodaka.
"Your friend can go die in a hole. That whole performance was black magic. BLACK MAGIC!"
"I thought you used black magic. Aren't you supposed to be a vampire or something?"
…
"Did you watch it, Aniki?"
Kodaka scowled at Yukimura. "Those are horrible people."
"Yes, but they were manly, weren't they?"
"Yes, even the women were."
"Why does he like watching that?" said Sena. She had a blank look in her eyes; she had seen the show, too.
"You actually watched it…"
"So did you."
Turning back to Yukimura, Kodaka said, "I learned something from that show."
"Yes, Aniki?"
"They all had self-confidence. Actually, they had too much of it. But even so, to be a real man—no, to be a real person, you have to have self-confidence."
Yukimura nodded. "How do I do that, Aniki?"
"For starters, you can stop worshipping Kodaka," said Sena, who was already in the clubroom and sitting on the couch across from Kodaka. "And worship me instead."
"Well…" said Kodaka, ignoring Sena. "You don't curse very much, do you, Yukimura?"
"No…"
"Have you been practicing your ore's?"
"I try to, but…"
"How about this? Every time you use watashi or boku when Yozora's not around, I punch you."
"That…that sounds like it would hurt."
"Good," said Kodaka. He smirked as he rolled up his sleeves."
"You're not really going to punch me, are y—OW!"
"Use ore."
"But I—OW!"
"Oh, and start cursing more."
"Cursing? But, I've never used any—OW!—curse words before!"
Kodaka wrung out his fist. "Well, start learning."
Sena shook her head and buried her face back into the eroge on her computer.
…
"O-Ore…Aniki, I think I got a bruise."
"Don't worry. It'll heal."
"What are we doing here anyway?"
Kodaka raised his arm and motioned to the machines, treadmills, mirrors, and TV's. "What does it look like? We're going to the gym."
Yukimura blushed. "I know that. But why?"
"You need some muscle. Actually, I do, too," said Kodaka. "If you really want to be a man, this is something a man has to do."
Yukimura followed Kodaka tentatively. He had never actually been inside a gym's workout room before, and he cowered at the sight of so many muscled people lifting barbells and bench pressing.
"We can start out with one of the lighter barbells," said Kodaka. He took a pair of two-kilogram weights and handed them to Yukimura. "Just lift them up and down…like this."
Yukimura took the barbells and slowly flexed his arms. Kodaka held his hands to his hips, watching.
"Like this, Aniki?"
"Yeah." Kodaka nodded as he realized that it had been awhile since he had last been inside a gym himself. With hesitation, he took a heavier pair of barbells and began to lift them himself.
"What are all those balls over there for?" said Yukimura, pointing to several small basketball-like objects lying on the ground.
"You know, let's get one of the trainers. They can explain it better than I can." In reality, Kodaka had no idea how to use these machines.
"Um, excuse me," said Kodaka as he saw someone who looked like a trainer. "He's new to this gym, and we were hoping we could go through all the machines."
"Sure," said the trainer. "Follow me."
"These are medicine balls. You just hold them over your head while you do sit ups…"
Yukimura stared at the tiny basketball-like weights, nodding and noting the "5 kg" printed on the side.
Kodaka stood behind Yukimura, making sure to remember the name for future reference.
"You use these machines to stretch out your abs. You have to get on it like this, and then you follow the diagrams over here…"
Yukimura gasped in awe, nodding eagerly.
Kodaka stood off in the distance, clasping his hand to his chin, making mental notes.
"…And that's all the machines in the gym. Think you got it?"
"Yes, thank you, gym trainer-san!" cried Yukimura.
"Well, thank you for explaining. I don't think I could have done a better job," said Kodaka with a smug smirk.
The trainer nodded and began to walk away until he felt a tug on his shirt.
"Uh…hey, can you show me how to use that one again?" whispered Kodaka.
…
Guys no longer ran away in shock anymore when Yukimura walked in the locker rooms.
"That was a great workout!" cried Kodaka.
"Thanks for taking me to work out with you, Aniki!" said Yukimura as he slipped his T-shirt over his chest. Kodaka turned away out of reflex. He still felt nervous whenever Yukimura took off his shirt, and he gulped as he heard Yukimura put his shirt back on.
"Where are you going, Yukimura?"
"To the toilet."
The lockers were connected to the toilets. Kodaka changed back, slung his bag over his shoulder, and headed to the toilet. To his surprise, he found Yukimura at the faucets, not washing his hands, but…
"Yukimura! What the hell are you doing?"
Yukimura looked up, lifting the razor off his legs. "Aniki?"
"What are you doing to your legs?"
"I'm shaving them, Aniki!" Yukimura raised his razor, which still had a spot of white shaving cream on it.
"Why are you shaving your legs?" Kodaka slapped the razor away, sending it flying across the row of faucets until it landed in a sink on the other side of the restroom.
"I've always shaved my legs…" said Yukimura.
"Guys don't shave legs," said Kodaka.
"Oh…" Yukimura glanced down at Kodaka's legs and noted the brownish hairs that covered them. "Um, Aniki?"
"Yeah?"
Yukimura motioned towards his right leg, which was still stretched out on the sink. "I'm kind of halfway through with my right leg. Can I finish up?"
"…Fine."
…
"That was great, Aniki!" said Yukimura. "I feel stronger already!"
Kodaka punched Yukimura in the chest. "Use ore."
"Oh, yeah."
"How would you like to do this every weekend?"
Yukimura beamed. "Really? You'd spend every weekend with me?"
"Actually, I was thinking you could also spend some more time with Sena."
"Sena-anego?"
Kodaka stopped. They had walked out of the gym and were in the middle of the sidewalk. He stared up in the sky. "Yukimura, how do you view Sena? Or Yozora? Or Rika? Or even my sister or Maria?"
"I guess they're all my friends. We always do things together."
"That's the problem. They're not friends. I mean, they're not just friends."
"What do you mean, Aniki?"
"Don't you get it, Yukimura? Do you know why all the guys used to act like that around you when you looked like a girl?"
"Aniki?"
"Yukimura, do you even know what things are supposed to be like between a guy and a girl?"
"A-Are you talking about…"
"Yes."
"You mean…doing it?"
"Ye—NO! Well, not necessarily. Just liking someone. You're a guy. You should start liking a girl…unless you're gay. That's all right, but I have no idea if you are or not."
"No, I'm not gay, Aniki! Really! I'm not!"
Kodaka shrugged. "All right, then. But I've never seen you get really close with a girl before."
"Then I'll do it! I promise I will!"
"It's not that important. I don't really get close to girls very much. I just wanted you to know, that's all."
Kodaka then pointed to a group of high school girls chatting on their cell phones.
"What do you think of them?" he said.
"Aniki?"
"I mean…what do you feel when you see them?" said Kodaka.
"I…don't know. I've never met them before."
"I mean, do you think they're hot?"
Yukimura froze up, as if Kodaka had introduced a completely foreign concept to him. He obviously knew what "hot" meant, but he had never thought of the word as anything other than a word other people used.
"How about cute? Do you think they're cute?" said Kodaka.
"No! Cute are things like…stuffed animals and children…"
Kodaka shrugged. "All right. Well, don't worry about it too much for now."
…
"You want me to do what?" said Sena.
"I don't mean now. But, I want you to go on a date with Yukimura, eventually."
Sena gripped her blouse. "That's kind of a lot to ask, you know, just going on a date with someone like that."
"Well, it's the last step, isn't it? Going out with a girl," said Kodaka.
"Have you ever done it before?"
"No." Kodaka averted his eyes. "Girls always get scared off by my looks."
"How do you expect me to go on a date with Yukimura? I'll always imagine him as the cute maid girl…"
"Cute?"
"Nothing!" Sena clutched her eroge close to her chest.
"You don't have to do it now. It'll be a final test, I guess." Kodaka rolled his eyes and glanced down at his magazine.
"It's not Yukimura I want to go out with," muttered Sena.
…
"Yukimura."
"Yeah, what the fuck do you want?"
"Good job."
"Thanks, Aniki!"
"Yukimura."
"Piss off!"
"Good job."
Sena peered over the book she was reading for homework to see what the two were doing. She shook her head and returned to her assignment.
"Now, remember, don't curse whenever you feel like it. Cursing isn't good. But you still have to know how to do it," said Kodaka.
"Yes, Aniki!" cried Yukimura.
"Good. That is all for today," said Kodaka. "Now put on your maid uniform before Yozora comes in."
Yukimura groaned as he rushed out of the room to change.
"You're becoming quite the teacher," said Sena.
"Well, Yukimura's catching on fast," said Kodaka.
"Hey, Kodaka, you know, about the other day…Were you serious when you said I was going to be Yukimura's prize if he successfully acted like a guy?"
Kodaka shook his head. "You don't have to do it if you don't want to. I was just thinking that for his final test, he could ask you out."
Sena shrugged. "I don't really mind doing it. But, you know…I haven't gone on a date before."
"You?"
"Don't tell me you think I'd actually go on a date with one of those idiots that follow me around all the time."
"That makes sense, I guess."
"To tell the truth, I don't want to make a fool of myself by making my first ever date with Yukimura. I'll probably turn him down."
Kodaka wiped his forehead in exasperation. "Fine. Whatever."
"Unless…that won't be my first ever date."
"What are you saying?"
Sena swiveled towards Kodaka with a grin. "Be my practice date."
"Huh? Um…I wouldn't be very good at it."
"Me neither. So much the better. I'll call you later with the time later."
"Good."
"By the way," said Kodaka. "Where are we going?"
Sena smiled and hid her face under the magazine. "That's a secret."
