Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling. Any lyrics belong to Sia.
A/N: Okay! We're now roughly about half way through this thing! This'll be a bit of a depressing chapter I'm afraid but chapter 8 will be a fluffy-marauder-fest :) This chapter is set in early 1978, probably a few months before Lily and James' wedding, Remus and Sirius have moved into their flat together. The song for this chapter is called I Go To Sleep by Sia.
I won't be posting for the next week and a half, as I'm going to visit family and will be veeeery busy! But I'll post as soon as I get back.
FINALLY, I'd like to recommend a great writer and friend Resa Aureus who has written some amazing fanfiction on here! You should all go and read it them :D
The Last Marauder is an amazing award-winning Hermione/Remus time travel story
s/8233539/1/The-Last-Marauder
The Holiday is a fun Fred/Hermione
s/8523085/1/The-Holiday
The Trick of Time is another unique time travel story but about Hermione/Sirius
s/8574349/1/The-Trick-of-Time
Chapter 7
I Go To Sleep
o0o
'I was wrong, and I will cry
I will love you till the day I die;
You alone, you alone and no one else.
You are meant for me.'
o0o
Sirius stumbled as James pulled him through a seemingly endless stream of muggles that lined the London pavements. Sirius mumbled an apology as he bumped into a disgruntled man in a pinstriped suit. "Ouch! James!" Sirius exclaimed, pulling his wrist away from his frantic looking scruffy-haired friend.
"Sorry," James muttered and peered through the window of the shop in front of them.
"Is this it?" Sirius asked while massaging his wrist.
"Remus said that it was a shop called Purge and Dowse Ltd. and that's what it says up there," James replied, rattling the handle of the shop door.
"It says it's closed for refurbishment, mate. You sure he was right?" Sirius asked, placing a hand on James' shoulder.
"Merlin's balls! We just have to find St Mungo's!" James exclaimed, kicking the shop front in frustration.
Sirius hopped from one foot to the other nervously. He hadn't been able to relax since James owled him that morning telling him that Mr and Mrs Potter were in St Mungo's with a serious case of Scrofungulus. He knew that Scrofungulus was dangerous at the best of times but if the healers felt the need to tell them it was a 'serious case' then he worried about whether Charlus and Dorea would recover.
"Watch it, young man!" Said a well-spoken voice. James stopped with his foot in mid-kick.
"Who said that?" Sirius asked.
"I did," Said the voice again.
"Padfoot... is that dummy talking to us?" James asked, pointing at the badly outfitted mannequin.
"Welcome to St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. How may I help you?" The mannequin said.
"Uh..." Sirius said, glancing hopefully at James who was still stood with his mouth open. He sighed, evidently he was going to have to do this himself. "Yeah. We're looking for Charlus and Dorea Potter, we were told they are patients here." Sirius felt ridiculous talking at a shop window.
"Present your wands please," The mannequin instructed. James and Sirius complied. "Thank you, please step through the window and continue to reception."
Sirius watched as James stumbled through the window and disappeared. Despite his pureblood lineage, Sirius had never relished having to step through seemingly solid walls and windows. However, the need to see his surrogate parents spurred him on to step through the glass.
Sirius shivered as a cold sensation ran through his body and he stepped into the lobby of a busy hospital. Running over to catch up with James at reception, he tried to summon his Gryffindor courage and squash the feeling of anxiety and nausea in his stomach.
"Yes, Charlus Potter and Dorea Potter!" James exclaimed.
"Don't raise your voice at me, sir!" The prim receptionist said as she readjusted her oval glasses.
"I apologise," Sirius cut in smoothly. "He's just upset. If you don't mind me saying, you have the loveliest eyes," He said with a haughty flick of his hair. The receptionist blushed. "We're looking for Mr and Mrs Potter; we were told they had been admitted due to cases of Scrofungulus."
"One minute, sir. I'll have a look in the admissions records," The receptionist said and ducked down behind the desk.
James tapped his fingers on the desk impatiently and Sirius promptly squashed his hand with his own. "Play nice if you want her to be helpful," Sirius hissed out the corner of his mouth.
"I just want to make sure my parents are okay," James said quietly.
"Me too," Sirius replied.
The receptionist reappeared with a card in her hand. "Mrs Dorea Potter is in the Cepheus Mattingley ward, which is on the second floor," She said with a smile at Sirius.
"What about Mr Potter?" Sirius asked.
"We have no Mr Potters currently on any of our wards," She replied.
"Thanks," Sirius said and turned away towards the stairs.
"Sirius!" James said excitedly. "If there's no record of dad, he must be better!"
"Yeah," Sirius replied and followed James up the stairs and towards the floor for Contagious Maladies.
The Cepheus Mattingley ward was eerily quiet in comparison to the busy departments Sirius and James had walked through on their way. Cubicles were separated by flimsy white curtains and behind them Sirius could see the silhouettes of patients reclining in their beds. "Excuse me," He said to the nearest mediwitch. "We're looking for Dorea Potter."
"Are you the sons?" The young woman asked.
"Yes," James and Sirius replied together.
"Come with me," The mediwitch said while gesturing for them to follow.
They stopped outside a cubicle just like the others but they were interrupted by the mediwitch as they moved to part the curtains. "I need to talk to you before you see her; so you know what to expect and understand Mrs Potter's condition," She said.
"Her condition? I thought it was only a magical bug!" James exclaimed, straining to keep his voice down.
"Scrofungulus is a very serious disease, Mr Potter. It is caused by exposure to the spores of a rare fungus and results in the patient experiencing infection of the glands in the neck region. Your mother is past the stage of contagion now but this also means that the illness has progressed to include open lesions on her neck. We've done the best we can but between her age-weakened immune system and the septicaemia from the lesions, there's very little more treatment we can off her."
There was a terrible silence between the three of them. Sirius didn't know much about magical illnesses at all but from what the mediwitch said... well he didn't like the direction this visit was going in.
"What do you mean?" James croaked. From the tears that had sprung into his brown eyes Sirius could tell that he already knew the answer, he just didn't want to believe it.
"I'm very sorry to have to tell you boys this but your mother is dying."
"Dying?" James choked out. Sirius placed his hand on James' shoulder reassuringly. "Is my father with her?" He asked after a few minutes.
The young mediwitch looked stricken. "Has no one told you?" She said.
"Told us what?" Sirius said, with his throat thick with emotion.
"I'm afraid Mr Potter passed away this morning from complications... you see Scrofungulus really is very contagious. His immune system couldn't take the strain. I am very sorry for your loss..."
Tears were freely running down James' and Sirius' cheeks. "I'd like to see my mother now," James whispered.
"She's in and out of consciousness. Feel free to stay with her to the end... it won't be much longer now," The mediwitch said sympathetically as she pulled back the curtains. James let out a low, keening moan of grief and rushed forwards, dropping to his knees and weeping into the hospital bed covers.
Sirius stepped in and shut the curtains behind him. Dorea Potter was so still that he thought she wasn't breathing until she took a great shuddering breath. There was a lingering smell of infected wounds, obviously emanating from the grisly lesions on her neck. Her skin looked stretched and a translucent grey. Sirius was scared to touch her in case she simply crumbled away like the sand from a ruined sandcastle.
"Oh...my boys," Mrs Potter whispered as her eyes flickered open.
"Mum!" Sobbed James.
"It'll be okay Jamie, it'll be okay," She cooed, stroking James' messy black hair with soothing movements.
"How can it be? Dad's dead, mum," James said, his voice muffled by sheets and tears.
"I know, I know, honey. But you're a strong lad who will soon have a wife, ready to start his own family. Your father and I have always and will always love you."
For a while Sirius just stood and watched as Dorea Potter cradled her son's head in her frail arms and comforted him through his anguished tears. "Sirius?" She called, one hand outstretched towards him and a soft smile on her face. He moved to her side and perched on the bed with his hand in hers. "Charlus and I were always so proud of you," She said. Sirius felt the tears spring up in his eyes again.
"Yeah?" He choked out.
"Always," She whispered and stroked his hand. "You're our son and you completed our family, Sirius."
That was it, the floodgates opened. Great gasping sobs tore from his chest, his nose streamed, and tears dripped from his nose and chin. Sirius felt like screaming and tearing everything down. How could life be so fucking cruel? How could it take someone wonderful like Mrs Potter and leave his vile blood-supremacist hag of a birth mother alive? It seemed so senseless.
Sirius watched as her eyelids drooped and she sighed. "I'm so tired," Mrs Potter whispered.
"It's okay mum," James said. "It's okay, you can go..." Dorea Potter's chest stopped mid-rise and her final exhalation of air brushed across the hairs on the back of Sirius' arm.
"I love you, mum," Sirius whispered into Mrs Potter's ear, before kissing her on the forehead.
o0o
Sirius flopped down onto the sofa as he shrugged off his black jacket and loosened his tie. Remus followed and collapsed beside him, handing him a can of muggle beer that was sitting on the coffee table. Sirius nodded gratefully as he opened it and took a long draught before offering some to Remus.
"Do you think James will be okay?" Sirius asked.
"I can't imagine what it's like to bury your parents but I do know that Lily will look after him," Remus replied and handed the beer back; his hair had got to that length again where it flicked up around his ears and jaw. Sirius inhaled Remus' scent of musk and chocolate as he leant his head on the werewolf's shoulder.
"I'm more worried about you, Pads," Remus said, leaning his cheek against Sirius' hair.
It was moments of closeness like this that gave Sirius the strength to keep hoping that maybe someday Remus would return his feelings. He knew that they were closer than most platonic friendships; most men weren't so touchy feely. But it didn't matter. Sometimes in those moments Sirius could believe that the world didn't exist outside of the flat.
"I'll be okay, Moony," Sirius sighed and sat up. If he stayed close to Remus much longer he wouldn't be able to tear himself away. "I just need some sleep. Too much butterbeer at the wake I think," He said and patted his stomach.
"Okay... well I'll be out here if you need anything," Remus said with concern marring his brow.
"Thanks mate," Sirius said before turning away and closing the door of his bedroom.
Inside a dark cocoon of duvets, Sirius squeezed his eyes shut and silently wept. He had never felt so lonely. Yeah, it was great having Remus about the flat but Sirius longed for physical closeness. There would be no more motherly hugs or fatherly pats on the shoulder from the Potters' and he knew that there wouldn't be any kisses or embraces from Remus. He felt as though everything was getting further and further away from him and eventually he'd just be one solitary figure in an emotional jail cell.
Sirius was tired; it had been a long day. Wiping his tears away and rubbing his nose, he rolled over and tried to relax into sleep. Sirius just knew that he would never love anybody like Remus; even if Remus never returned his feelings, Sirius would keep hoping until his death day because there was no one else... there would never be anyone else. He imagined Remus' arms wrapping around him and soothing him into dreams.
o0o
'I go to sleep,
And imagine that you're there with me,
I go to sleep,
And imagine that you're there with me.'
A/N: I know this was a bit of slow and heavy chapter but next chapter we'll see Remus and Sirius behave like the Marauders they are and cause havoc at James and Lily's wedding. So worry not, there'll be some light relief next chapter! :)
Please review! *makes puppy eyes*
