Chapter 7

APOV:

Darkness…there's so much darkness around me. It's scary but also peaceful. It seems like I have been in this darkness for quite a while and I feel one with it. The darkness is menacing but it welcomes me. I want to succumb to it, but my heart tells me not to. "Wake up Ana!" screams my subconscious, but I don't want to. I don't want to open my eyes and face the light because I know that light will be an illusion. Deep down I know that when I open my eyes all that blinding light will be harsh and unwelcoming as compared to this darkness. No, no I choose this darkness. I'll be here for a while and let it comfort me.

But I keep hearing this voice, "Open your eyes baby, please."; "God, I love you so much baby" there's so much anguish in that voice that I almost want to open my eyes and comfort the owner of the voice. I want to reach out and comfort this person.

The darkness starts fading… it turns grey. This is nice. The grey is soothing but melancholy. But I like the grey more than the darkness I was in. I feel loved here. The whispers are strong here. Louder. But filled with more anguish. Christian… the name floats through my head. My fifty…..grey eyes…

My thoughts are scattered as I keep seeing this beautiful man with grey eyes, the man I call Christian. I see him kiss me. I see him hold me. I see him make love to me. I feel his touch and I feel his love….

And then, all my memories rush back at once… Jack Hyde, him stabbing me, I remember Christian's tear stained face. So much pain in his eyes… pain….there's so much pain…everything hurts but I'm closer to the light…I feel like the fog is lifting and all at once I open my eyes..

I am met with sterile white wall and I look around to see I'm placed on a hospital bed with all sorts of needles poking me. I see Christian sitting by my bed with his head resting on the edge. He has my hand in his and he's holding on to it like it's the source of his life. It seems like he's sleeping. I try calling out his name but no sound comes out. I try squeezing his hand but it's so feeble, it has no effect. Christian just stirs slightly.

I try squeezing his hand again and this time his head shoots up and I am met with his beautiful grey eyes.

So many emotions pass through his eyes till they fill up with tears and at once his lips are on mine. The intensity of the kiss takes me by shock. And I kiss him back as best as I can. All too soon, his lips part from mine and I notice tears running down his face. Oh fifty, what put you in so much pain. I want to reach out and comfort him. Tell him that I love him…but all I end up saying is "Hi"

Christian smiles a little, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Hey. You finally opened your eyes, Ana! Hang on for a bit, and I'll get your doctor and nurse." He tries to let go of my hand but I hang onto it. He looks down at me and says, "Don't worry baby, I'll be back in a blink." I let go of him reluctantly.

He hurries out of the room and soon he's back inside with a nurse at his heels. Grace follows them in as well.

As the nurse starts checking my vitals I can't help but notice the tension radiating off both Christian and Grace. Every once a while Christian keeps glancing at Grace nervously and then looks back at me. It's like he believes I'm going to vanish into thin air any minute.

The nurse asks me if I need something and I ask for some water. As the nurse goes to fetch some water, Grace helps me sit up. I catch Christian looking at me and then he looks down at my belly…my belly… Blip! Oh! My baby… I remember the pain, my hands shoot up to my belly and I feel so empty. I look up at Christian and I see he's crying... no this is not good… I look at Grace and her face mirrors Christian's emotion...

"The baby?" I croak out as I look into Christian's eyes… he nods his head no, very slightly and that's all I need to know that I have lost my precious Blip forever.

I feel like I can't breathe… It's like I'm thrown into icy cold water and I'm drowning. I want to move my hands and legs to kick and scream for help but I am so numb. It's best if I drown. The darkness washes over me again and before I close my eyes, I see Christian rushing towards me.