She really oughta have known betta than ta take the stinkin' subway on New Year's Eve. It would be the quickest, safest and surest way for her ta cut across Gotham she told herself. Coppers wouldn't be lookin' for plain ole Harleen Quinzel on the subway. Nope, no way, nuh uh. She could get back ta her puddin' without worry of the B-Man or any of his winged rodents tryin' ta stop her.

Her plan wasn't without its share of drawbacks. Harley had learned when she was still quite young that there was a downside ta livin' in Gotham. Everythin' in this damn city came with a certain set of stipulations and an endless number of pitfalls and setbacks. It was the nature of the beast. Even she admitted there was somethin' wrong with Gotham. And it goes far deeper and involves far more than those of us labeled as the monsters in the dark.

Takin' any sorta public transit in Gotham was just askin' for trouble. Buses tended ta be used as batterin' rams or for burnin' blockades. Cabs were either turned into bomb houses or used as bumper cars. Ferries and ship freighters made for great hideouts, drug or weapons dens. And the trains were used ta either transport bombs or citizens that unluckily got themselves kidnapped for whatever freaks purposes.

By far, she thought the subway was the worst outta the lot. If'n a gal wasn't gettin' her ass grabbed by some sleaze-ball than there was some jerkwad screwin' with things so that the trains didn't get where they had ta go. She had found herself in a pickle and opted to take the subway from Burnley to the station by the Monarch Theater. From there it was just a hop, skip and a jump to the old Mill that Mistah J had turned into their funhouse. However, if no train arrived, she wouldn't get where she was supposed to go. So, who the hell is screwin' with things tonight? she fumed as she stood with the other morons on the subway platform.

Welp, she knew for sure that it wasn't her puddin'. He was back at the Mill, waitin' for her ta bring him word about the whereabouts of the Batbrains and his flock of birds. And it couldn't be Ivy. She never focused any of her attacks on the subway tunnels. When she was on one of her eco-tirades she made long, twisty vines with huge man-eating plants cover the city. She also didn't think it was the Scarecrow. Ole Johnny would simply gas the people on the platform. So, who could it be? she wondered as she tapped a foot and heaved a long sigh.

Less than a second later, the delayed subway train came hurdlin' out of the tunnel in a mass of screamin' gears, screechin' wheels and with billows of smoke trailin' behind the last car. Harley caught a glimpse of two figures inside one of the middle cars before the train disappeared into the tunnel at the other end of the track. Welp, guess I know where the B-Man and the Boy Blunder are, Harley thought as she planted her fists on her hips and gave a toss of her head.

Yup, she really oughta have known betta than ta have tried ta take the stinkin' subway on New Year's Eve. Quickest, safest and surest way ta cut across Gotham, my ass, she thought as she turned to flounce from the platform.


A/N: Hello, all and Happy New Year! Hope this finds you safe and well!