Well, here is the new chapter. Short, I know, slow to be updated, I know… and I have many excuses, but I wont bore you with the details of my obstacles right now (feel free to ask) because that isn't what you're here for, ne? I would however like to take this opportunity to sincerely think EVERYONE that reviewed! Unfortunately I can't list everyone's names, but you know who you are, and you are my inspiration to keep writing =) Thank you so much! Also, I'd like to mention debussy88. She gave me some fantastic advice on how to improve my written style, and I hope that in time, when I manage to master this advice, you will all reap the benefits whilst reading my work =) Well, without further ado, Read, Enjoy, Review!
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Hotch frowned as he looked down in to the bullpen. Everyone except Reid was there. He made a mental note to interrogate Morgan, or rather, have Garcia interrogate Morgan, about what happened after they left the bar, and went to phone the missing genius, only for Spencer's name to appear on the caller ID, and he answered with an eerie feeling of something being out of place…
"Hotch?" Spencer tried to calm his emotions, hoping that no questions would be asked as he stated "I'd like to take a personal day today… I think you'll find I have one spare." He had more than one spare. He had a whole year's worth spare.
"Of course. Reid if there's anything you need, don't hesitate to-"
"Ask. I know, Hotch. Thanks." He hung up quickly, but daren't move from his arm chair. Instead, he laid the phone down on the table, wiped away his silent tears, and turned to face the person standing in the kitchen doorway…
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"The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep." ~Henry Maudsley
The brunette sat in his chair, trying his best to hold back the sobs that were threatening to take hold once more. The man in the doorway came forward, circling the arm chair and kneeling in front of Spencer, holding his wrists down and looking up into his eyes.
"Spencer… please… just let it all out, ok? She was part of your family. It isn't a crime to mourn her." The words were gentle but firm, the same as the embrace that the young genius had been pulled into as he buried his face in the other mans neck, not even bothering to brush his shoulder length black hair out of the way as he did so.
"You… don't think I'm being silly?"
"Of course not, Spencer." He whispered gently, combing his fingers through his friends hair.
"But… but she was a cat, Timura!"
"Yes, she was a cat. But she was also the one you rescued from a cat shelter. The one you came home to everyday. The one who never judged you, never argued with you or insulted you. She was the one who listened to all your problems, all the deepest, darkest secrets you couldn't bear to tell anyone else, and the one you knew would never walk away from your affection. There is no shame in mourning her." Spencer nodded and, although he still felt silly, he cried. He cried for what had happened with Morgan. For the loss of a dear friend, Anita. And for feeling so weak and pathetic. The week had been hectic, and he wanted nothing more than to curl up with his kittens and pretend he didn't exist, losing himself in warm fur and epic tales of times long since passed… as if reading his mind, Timura spoke "I'm going to make you something to eat and drink, then we'll talk ok? I know you want to be left to deal with it by yourself, but I also know it'll just weigh you down." Silence was the only answer Timura received, but it was also the only answer he needed. Anything that wasn't an outright protest was a good sign. So the grieving brunette was left in his arm chair as his friend went to prepare some small morsel to sustain him until the morning. When Timura returned with the meal, the pair chatted for a while until Reid finally divulged the details of his current love interest, and the reason he had been so depressed even before Anita's death. Unfortunately his friend couldn't even pretend to understand what was going through the young genius' mind. How dare anyone hurt Spencer like that! Barely keeping his rage under control, Timura's words were strained and said through gritted teeth
"So… after everything he has put you through… Spencer, how can you still love him?" Spencer looked up at Timura as if he had just asked the simplest question in the world but, seeing his queries was genuine, he began to tell his friend about all the moments he had shared with Morgan, all the times the man had been there for him, saved him, scared him… and Timura let him ramble on. Because the older male had stopped listening to the words, and was now staring into the gateways of Spencer's soul. It was as if all the sparkling matter of the galaxy had crashed together in Spencer's eyes, marking the birth of a new star which, if it were in the sky, would be the biggest and brightest putting even Polaris to shame. It was a spark Timura had never seen before in those brown pools that so often looked so lost. The young genius had never thought of someone in this way before – never fallen as hard, never spoken so highly of someone who had hurt him. Timura wouldn't say it was like Romeo and Juliet – for one, Juliet was female. Secondly, the story of Romeo and Juliet disturbed him somewhat… no, this was something different. This was a loving mutual relationship, a caring friendship built up over time, the building blocks of a golden staircase of which Spencer had climbed and found himself on this beautiful high. A high he could only reach with Derek Morgan's name. And there was something gorgeous about it… something absolutely divine, this shimmer of hope that held together pieces of a heart that had been shattered far too many times. Part of him wished that he could tell Spencer how he looked, but it was not something that could be captured by even the most skilled artist or fantastical poetry. No, he could not tell him. All he could do was offer a simple smile, hoping that it would sum up his new understanding and fresh outlook on his friend's feelings. His gesture must have been well received, as Spencer's voice faded into a dreamy sigh as he returned the smile. No more words were needed.
As the dark haired man left later that evening, only one single thought plagued his mind. The wish that however this 'Morgan' felt, whether Spencer's love was mutual or unrequited, whatever the outcome, it would bare its head soon. Because that was the only was Spencer was going to be able to move on. One thing was sure, and nothing surer: for as long as Spencer held the hope his love could be returned, his hope would trap him in the confines of his dreams and, as pure and inspiring as that was, it could also turn out to be a horrific tragedy.
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"You said WHAT to my baby!" Morgan dived to left as a wooden spoon flew at his head, scarcely missing his ear. His chest, however, was not so lucky as he had slid directly into the path of a flying fork.
"I know, I was stupid, I shouldn't have said anything!"
"Damn right!" More objects shot towards the male as he cautiously tried to approach the infuriated Penelope Garcia.
"Penelope, I don't know what to do… I never meant to hurt him, I was just so-"
"So what, Derek! So far up your own ass you can't see how much pain you've been causing him! So far stuck in your own ego you can't see how much you've put him down!" He couldn't reply. The blonde's accusations rang through his head like gun shots in a cathedral, bouncing off each other and slamming into his newly awakened vision.
"I've… been hurting him… that much?"
"Yes, Morgan, you have! Hell, he would probably have preferred you to have raised a hand to him than the emotional torture you've been putting him through! What ha he done to deserve that?" he tried to speak, but his mouth had gone dry and his mind numb. Torture… was she implying he was as bad as Hankel! He could feel the anger bubbling in his gut, a lava stream of rage rising through him and burning his tongue as he opened his mouth to snap a retort- "He didn't do anything wrong! His only crime was loving you!" Garcia's words crashed against the Lava like a torrent of ice, filling him with volcanic rocks that simultaneously seared his heart and weighed it down.
"Yeah, well… wait… he… what?" The pair stood there in silence, various kitchenware strewn about the floor of the blonde's apartment went unnoticed as both pairs of chocolate brown eyes locked on to each other, each waiting for the other to break the silence first, and each secretly hoping that they didn't. But the silence grew to heavy for Morgan to hold
"Penelope…"
"I think you should leave, Derek."
"But-"
"Please…" Morgan wanted nothing more than to sit his friend down and explain himself, and let her explain what she had meant… but the plea and the tears pricking at her eyes told him that he had overstayed his welcome – and that hurt almost as much as realising he had caused Reid pain had hurt. Never before had he been asked to leave by his Baby Girl… so, reluctantly, and without another word, he left, the events of the past couple of days hanging over him like a storm cloud, waiting to strike him with a violent lightning when he least expected it…
"Or maybe I'm just being paranoid…" he murmured, sliding into his car and sticking his key in the ignition "Yeah… paranoid."
"The course of true love never did run smooth". – William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream (Act I, Scene I)
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I'm sorry it is so short, but the idea was to give a little bit of an insight as well as to give Morgan a kick up the ass. But now I need some advice… I know of a particular event I am going to have occur in this story, but I am afraid doing it in this chapter or the next might be making it a bit to… abrupt? Soon? So… what do you think the next chapter should entail? Current idea's include:
- A somewhat mean trick to get Morgan and Reid to make up
- A date between Reid and Morgan. Will likely have humour, fluff and a little angst (Am leaning towards this option)
But I am open to any and all of your ideas. Please help me out here, the sooner I get my muse running again, the sooner I can update (because I know I am nowhere near the best at updating quickly…)
Please review and let me know what you think! Thank you.
