When death comes knocking at your door… What was that saying again?
"What the fuck was that?"
Yumichika turned around, shoulders hunched up around his ears in absolute dread. Oh no, this was what he'd been afraid of.
He'd thought it had been safe, as long as no one could see. His division was too unrefined to sense that his spiritual pressure had morphed into that which was characteristic of kidou blades. As long as he had been under the cover of the shady forest, everything should've been fine. He could keep Ikkaku from dying, and the rest of the division as well, he supposed, although they weren't as important.
He'd messed up. He'd been caught. Ikkaku had followed him, and he hadn't anticipated that. It was always the other way around, him following Ikkaku, who never even looked back once to make sure he was there. Ikkaku never doubted, never faltered, but today it seemed that he had followed him instead of enjoying his fights without any second thoughts. Yumichika hadn't seen that coming.
He was done for. His secret was out, and it caused his heart to squeeze painfully. Ikkaku was going to figure it out, and that would be the beginning of the end.
"How… How did you just... Nobody could even give them a scratch!" Ikkaku shouted in disbelief. Yumichika just stared back, noticing that attention was being called to them because of Ikkaku's shouting. Yumichika's eyes darted around frantically as he took a step back out of instinct. No, he couldn't run. That would bring him even more dishonor.
"Of course they couldn't," Yumichika hissed wearily, "Our division is made up of all attack-type swords, you fool."
"… Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"Am I?" Yumichika asked sourly. Then he turned to Kenpachi who had arrived at the scene just as disbelieving as Ikkaku. Yumichika sighed, putting his face in his hand for a few moments, foot tapping erratically as he sheathed his sword.
"How the hell did you do that?"
"It's kidou, alright? I have a kidou sword, and I've been lying to you for centuries," Yumichika spat bitterly, head down. "I have deceived you and concealed my shameful ways. I shall resign with dishonorable leave, Captain."
"Woah, woah, what is going on here?"
"What? Is that the reason?" Ikkaku asked flatly, staring at Yumichika with narrowed eyes. Yumichika didn't get what he was talking about; all he could do was wait for Ikkaku to disown him, to hate him. "That's the reason, isn't it. That's the reason you can't be with me?"
Yumichika just looked at him, eyes distant and pained, but he held his resolve, determined not to make a bigger fool of himself.
Ikkaku walked towards him, and Yumichika took another step back, not saying anything. He couldn't bear to see Ikkaku so upset with him, and the worst part was that he had nothing to say in his own defense. He was completely at fault here. It was his fault that Ikkaku was upset.
"Yes."
The moment the word left Yumichika's mouth, Ikkaku punched him in the face so hard that he was knocked over, skidding back across the grass, finally coming to a stop at the foot of a tree. He just lay there on his back in pain, not even thinking of the bruise and the stippled blood he would get on his face.
Ikkaku had hit him. He had no honor, no beauty. He would have to live in shame forever because of this. Ikkaku hated him.
"You're so fucking stupid! You're always talking to me about being hard-headed, but this?!" Ikkaku spat, tone still twisted with fury as he yanked Yumichika up by the front of his uniform.
Yumichika flinched back, resisting the urge to protect his face with his arms, but Ikkaku just grabbed him by the back of the neck and did something he was even less prepared for. Ikkaku was kissing him in front of everybody.
When he pulled back, he yelled in Yumichika's face again, "Stupid, Yumichika, you're stupid!" He hit him upside the head hard, ruining his perfect hair that had stayed in place even through battle.
Yumichika just stood there where he was holding him by the neck of his clothes, staring at him with big round eyes and a hint of wariness, eyebrows scrunching up. There was silence for a few seconds, and he could hear Kenpachi mutter that he didn't know what the fuck was going on with his division these days.
"Taichou, if you fire this fucking dumbass, I'm going too," Ikkaku said, not even turning to look at the man he'd devoted his life to following. He was still looking at Yumichika, so fucking mad that he could hardly keep himself from kicking Yumichika's ass all the way home.
"Tch', I'll kick his ass if he tries to leave before fighting me."
Yumichika just stared at the two of them for a few seconds, not moving a muscle or even blinking, eyes flicking between the two of them as if he was trying to prove to himself that this was a dream.
Ikkaku wondered if he was going to faint dead away, or if he had gone into shock. He shook him a little, jolting Yumichika back to earth. His cheek was badly bruised, but his eyes were bright and hopeful.
"What are you doing?" Yumichika asked in confusion, looking suspicious. "You're angry. You hit me. What are you doing?" He shook his head in disbelief, wondering what the hell he was seeing.
Ikkaku had hit him in anger, but then kissed him and… what? Ikkaku had even said that he was going to leave the division for his sake. He had been prepared for the anger, but not this, whatever this was.
"What are you doing?" Ikkaku retorted flatly. Yumichika made a little confused noise, not knowing what the hell was going on.
"You killed the core in one fucking hit, and everything else died. I saw it. You figured out that kidou was the only solution, and you kept all of us idiots from getting slaughtered. You're the one kidou user in the division now, right?"
"… Right?" Yumichika answered uncertainly as if he were afraid to be wrong.
"Don't you think it's a sign?"
"A sign that I'm a loser?" Yumichika asked in confusion. Ikkaku rolled his eyes and threw the stupid thing over his shoulder. Yumichika was so confused and shocked that he let him do so. "What… What are you doing?!"
"What are you-"
"Oh, be quiet!" Yumichika snapped, ignoring the stares of his division as Ikkaku carried him away without regard for any of them. "This is no way to… What are you doing?!"
"I'm gonna' take you home and ravish you. Isn't that what everyone does when they carry someone like this?"
"No. Only if they're ugly barbarians."
"We'll see about that, you brat. You're so fucking stupid sometimes, it's unbelievable, you dumbass. How could I be mad that my best friend is a badass who can get more powerful by fucking eating his enemies? If Taichou thinks that's not the coolest thing, then he can fire us, and we'll go rogue. Won't that be fun?"
Yumichika just scowled, using an elbow to prop his chin up as he watched the captain, fukutaichou, and his subordinates grow farther away, all of them still staring at them in confusion. He wasn't any closer to figuring it out than they were. Yumichika began drumming his fingers on Ikkaku's back in irritation.
'You know what? I'm not wasting any more time thinking about this ugly idiocy… I suppose that could've gone worse. A lot worse.'
"What's your problem, blossom?" Ikkaku asked roughly when Yumichika had been quiet and still for a while, letting himself be carried and humiliated in public as he was towed through the crowds of shinigami who were confused as to why all the enemies had disappeared.
"You're not running fast enough," Yumichika said with a crooked smile.
Ikkaku stopped dead, getting hard. He just grinned and started running with renewed fervor. That was an invitation if he'd ever heard one.
Ikkaku would run home, lay Yumichika down on the bed, take off all of their clothes, and then make sweet love to him. No questions asked, no time to be nervous or clueless about his performance, no worrying about what the captain would say to them tomorrow. Nothing existed in Ikkaku's world right now except the two of them.
He'd always been a straightforward guy.
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Me. Open the fuck up.
What the hell was the punchline?
*Looks at fist* *punches*
~ Fin ~
AN- Stay tuned for the bonus chapter, a lemon epilogue!
- Yes. That ending was a huge rip off, and I'm fully aware of that.
