"This is all that Dr. Wong would give me. I hope it will be of use to you."
Those were the parting words of Arthur as he handed over the thick file over to Toris. At first the brunette had been shocked at the size, thinking that perhaps they had done more research than he originally thought. But upon first glance he had discovered that a large part of it was merely made up of incident reports. There was an obvious pattern to them as to who he had harmed, but the overwhelming majority seemed to be one person in general: Ivan himself.
He knew he should have asked about his hand… After the Russian had grabbed him Toris had noticed that there was blood on his wrist that wasn't his own. Ivan's hand must have been cut pretty deeply… It had to have been from the window, but why would he just decide to stick his hand through a window? If only he'd taken a moment longer to talk to him, this accident might not have happened.
His brothers hadn't let up about his wrist when he had gotten home. What happened, who did it, what did you do, how could you have avoided it—that last one given by Eduard. Ever the practical one, his middle brother was always the one to put head before heart. That wasn't to say he didn't care of course; his very expression had said he was worried about Toris. The brunette knew that under all the lecturing his younger brother gave, he was only concerned for him. It didn't earn him any points when he said it wasn't in fact Ivan's fault. Toris blamed his superiors, the ones who didn't see fit to show him the file of a dangerous patient that he was to be working with. Even if Level 1 was the lowest level of aggressive patients, precautions should be taken. Strangely, by the marks on the accident reports, Ivan was listed clearly as a Level 2.
Waxing and Waning, that's what Yao referred to as the patterns of aggression. According to the dates, Ivan was currently waxing. Wonderful… Toris gave a sigh as he set another sheet aside in its assigned pile at the end of his bed. He lay out on his stomach currently, well after midnight. His brothers had finally gone to bed after he'd promised them time together tomorrow. It was a good thing his day off was a Saturday. He'd been staring at these reports for hours, but he still couldn't find any triggers to explain what had happened between them.
Windows, mirrors, glass jars in the art room… On one of the reports the word reflection was underlined three times. So then he didn't like his own reflection… That explained the window, except that he spent an awful lot of time starring out of it normally. Perhaps it was only during waxing that he lashed out. He'd been arranging the reports by order of date, and it seemed that a pattern was finally emerging. December was a month of high aggression, and waxing started from the very first day. Some of the scars made sense when he saw the reports. Aside from having an unhealthy habit of breaking glass with his bare hands, Ivan also fought restraints to the point of drawing blood if they didn't take the necessary precautions. Turning another page, Toris' gaze froze on the words that greeted him. Most of them in Russian handwriting, he lifted the paper closer to his eyes to read it better.
From the date of September 13th 2007, the patient known as Ivan Braginski shall be transferred to the care of the Kirkland Institution for the Mentally Ill.
Ivan's entrance papers?
Name: Ivan Vikentovitch Braginski
D.O.B.: December 30th, 1985
1985… Ivan was twenty-four? His face made him seem younger, though he was definitely tall enough. That made him six years older than Toris, come the 30th.
Previous Residence: Moscow, Russia
Family: Father, deceased. Mother, deceased. Elder sister, Ekaterina Vikentovaya Braginskaya. Younger sister, Natalya Vikentovaya Braginskaya.
Family History: Little could be gathered. Father rumored to have had a drinking problem, mother was in and out of the hospital for two years up until she passed away from illness.
The sisters must be the two in the pictures, Toris decided. Sending their brother so far from home… what were they thinking? What was it that Ivan had said about them? Forgetting him for their own good, because they might hate him. And about his father, too… It struck a little too close to home, and he shoved it out of his mind. He could never forget his brothers. Contact information, physical descriptions and a chart of marks and scars that he entered the institution with… The burns on his shoulder and back were of interest, but no descriptions other than 'burns' were given right away. Toris suddenly felt a little guilty seeing this, as if he wasn't supposed to. But Ivan had allowed him to see his body in person, so surely this wasn't any worse? These were just drawn body outlines with scribbles! Ah, here we go…
Date of original Residency: January 15th, 2002.
2002? That was eight years ago!
Reason for residency: Delusions, aggression, willingness to harm himself and others.
Schizophrenia - Disorganized Type
a. Displays disorganized speech and inappropriate affect
Schizoaffective Disorder -Bipolar Type
Final Assessment
Psychotic Disorder Not Otherwise Specified
Possible mood disorder with psychotic features.
The last part was written in different handwriting in English. It matched Yao's from the incident reports. But… Green eyes skimmed the page for more information on his disorder, but to his great dismay there was nothing. Nothing! Ivan didn't like his reflection, and they had no idea what his diagnoses was. Needed to be sedated to sleep when aggressive, and he would behave for a while after solitary usually. Though some of the guesses might help him understand the Russian a little better, it didn't help him predict what he was going to do. That stingy Chinese man… he had to have more information than this. He'd been his primary for three years! There was supposed to be all kinds of notes and behavioral studies, right? Well Arthur did say that this was all that he could get. Perhaps he just hadn't wanted them to leave the institution. He could only hope that he would be allowed to see them when he returned.
Carefully putting the papers back into the folder, the Lithuanian set it aside on his bedside table. It was now Saturday, the 20th of December. He had a good six hours before his brothers would wake him up for their promised time together, so he might as well spend it sleeping instead of reading over papers that wouldn't help him at all at work. Not to mention they'd have to get to the A&E room early if they didn't want to waste his day off waiting for a doctor to look at his arm.
Morning came all too soon, and the trio of brothers spent a total of three hours in the emergency room. No matter how Toris told the two he could deal with it on his own, they both insisted on coming. He supposed it saved a bus ride home to pick them up, at least. To his relief, his wrist wasn't broken. Just a bit sprained, and it would take a few weeks to heal if he was careful enough. They gave him a splint and let it be, though once he was shown the bill he was grateful that the Institution would be the one paying for it. The rest of the day was a welcome relief from the week's stressors.
Then it was off to lunch with his brothers, followed by some shopping thanks to their new budget. They decided to rent a few movies and then stay in to watch them. Feliks invaded some time that evening, watching a movie with them. Thankfully the Pole seemed to be normal today, none of his confusing questions or accusative phrases aside from the initial chastisement Toris received about his wrist. Honestly, if one more person mentioned it… Thankfully he didn't have a class until Monday, but he did have to email his professor. His internship was worth school credit as well, but in turn he had to write about his learning every week.
Week One
I learned a lot more than I ever thought I would on my first week at the Kirkland Institution for the Mentally Ill. A lot of it had to do with each specific patient. I can figure out what half of them have by their symptoms, but some of them remain a mystery. Dealing with them as an orderly is more personal than dealing with them as a doctor, I believe. While a doctor may get to watch them, study them, an orderly has to live amongst them. Doctors look at charts and behavior and make their decisions, but orderlies are the ones usually experiencing them. A few hours a week versus many hours alongside them. I admit I'm surprised.
I had an accident yesterday. I tried a method I was shown by a doctor to see if a patient had taken pills, and the patient became upset and grabbed my wrist, spraining it. I was careless, it was my fault really. I've gotten along well with this patient, so this troubles me. I'm still searching for answers to what I did wrong, and I hope that I can repair the trust that I might have broken. It would be better for us both if I could. I will take this experience with me for a long time, and I know that this job will lead to a greater understanding of the people I will one day work with as a psychologist.
Toris re-read his email before sending it, sitting back on his bed with his laptop in his lap. A greater understanding… was it? He chewed his lower lip as he thought of his time already with Ivan. Patients like him existed, but they had to be rare right? Patients with a personal interest in their doctors and care takers? He'd heard of it before, but why did he have to be one of those rare cases? He supposed his biggest problem was that he wasn't completely opposed to Ivan.
Touching his lips lightly, he recalled their sordid kiss. It brought heat to his cheeks to think of it fondly, remembering how good Ivan had been at it. Just how did someone who was in a mental institution since he was seventeen become so good at kissing? Perhaps he didn't really want to know! Shutting his laptop down, the Lithuanian settled down into his bed at last. He really had to stop these crazy hours, or he was never going to get a good night's sleep. Ivan's painting of the matryoshka dolls was above his bed, carrying him off into their fanatical dreams.
For the first time that week, Toris slept in. Eduard and Raivis let him sleep until noon, when they woke him so that he could eat lunch before he went to work. Aside from his injured wrist, the Lithuanian felt in top shape that day. Shoving Ivan's file into his bag, he left the house at around 1:10, walking to the train station. He arrived at work with some five or so minutes to spare, feeling rather satisfied. He didn't know why, but the day seemed to be going good so far. That was all until he approached the main entrance and saw the security swarming about it. His heart suddenly plummeted to his stomach, where it became a cold and painful lump. Arthur spotted him as he approached, stepping over to him swiftly. "Toris," He said with a nod.
"Wh-what's all this?" He asked warily. Arthur furrowed his thick brows.
"As much as it pains me to say it… It's Ivan. He was allowed outside in the garden with the others to rake the leaves, with Dr. Wong's express permission. He said he would behave because of being in solitary Saturday. So much for that, the bloody yob!" The Englishman grit his teeth. "You go on inside, I don't want you to worry yourself over…"
"No!" Toris responded quickly in surprise. "I-I mean, that is if it's alright with you, let me help you look!" He said fervently. The Director was unsure, but he couldn't really argue right now.
"…I don't like it, but the fact of the matter is we need him found, and fast. Word gets out we're misplacing patients and next thing you know we'll lose all funding. Here, let me take your bag." He held out his hand and Toris handed it over.
"Thank you!" Toris exclaimed, turning to take off in the direction of the search party. Arthur frowned.
"That kid's a nutter, I should be thanking him." He remarked, shouldering the bag and heading back inside.
Toris received a direction to move in from the men already looking, and he headed towards it. Honestly, whoever made these grounds with so many trees and bushes was insane them self… How were you ever supposed to find someone like this? "I-Ivan!" He called out, hearing the others around him doing the same. It felt silly somehow to be calling for a hiding patient… Obviously he didn't want to be found. Regardless, he still called out, hands around his mouth. "Ivan, will come out now? People are worried!" Ah, more like angry… "I'm worried!" He tried instead. "Ivaaann!" He passes a series of tall bushes, raising his hands to call again. There was a small rustle beside him, and he jumped a good twelve inches back, back to the bushes as a squirrel jumped out. Sighing heavily, he cursed. "Damn squirrel…"
A long arm wound around his waist startled him, but a hand covered his mouth before he could scream. Branches and leaves scraped him as he was pulled backwards, heels dragging. He came out on the other side of the bushes, pressed tightly to a larger body. Pulling the hand off of his mouth, he turned around with an accusing stare. "Ivan!" He admonished. The Russian was covering his mouth already, nearly doubled over with laughter. "Ivan this isn't funny, you could be in a lot of trouble over this!"
"Did you see their faces?" Ivan chuckled into his hand. "Arthur's!" He laughed. Putting on his best frown, the Russian stood up straight, "What about the funding! The money, the money," He waved his hand, smiling again, "all that man cares about! He won't lose mine." Against all his better judgment, Toris felt the corner of his lips twitch upwards into a smile. Shaking his head, he frowned again.
"But what are you doing out here?" He asked. Ivan pointed to a small tree behind the bushes with him.
"My tree. I planted it from a peach seed months ago, because they said I couldn't." He said simply, as if that was a very good reason. "I wanted to check on it! Do you think it will survive the winter?" He asked excitedly. Toris bit his lower lip.
"W-well, it's really good to plant them during the fall actually. It has a good chance because it rains so much here, regular watering won't be a problem… The bushes block the wind from bending it, so… What?" Toris blinked.
"Toris knows about plants?" Ivan asked, staring at the orderly in a kind of reverence. The Lithuanian flushed.
"A-a little. I used to garden when I was younger, and I was interested in botany in high school. I was even in a club. Though I was the only boy…" He blushed a little more, averting his eyes. Ivan chuckled, smiling wide.
"Moy drug is perfect!" He hugged the smaller man, and Toris tensed. He was released soon enough thankfully, and they both heard voices coming close. "Ah, they'll find it!" Ivan worried.
"Not if we go out there. How did you get away in the first place?" Toris asked with another frown. Ivan grinned, pulling his scarf up to cover his mouth.
"She said 'Stay right there, I'll be right back'! Hehe, silly girl, right Toris?"
"Why do you always make it sound like I'm with you on these things…?" The orderly sighed, taking the Russian's hand with his good hand. Ivan tensed a little, frowning suddenly. "What is it?"
"Toris isn't afraid?"
"A little late for that, don't you think? Besides, why do you think I was hurt?" Toris asked with a raised eyebrow. Ivan averted his eyes, his voice quiet,
"Because I was useless."
"No!" Toris snapped, clearly upset. Violet eyes shifted back. "Because I made a mistake and upset you! I should have been more careful. You should learn to control yourself, but that doesn't mean everyone can do whatever they want and you won't react. So I'm going to trust you to tell me when you're uncomfortable next time, and you can trust me to try not to upset you. Alright?" He asked. Ivan swallowed, covering his face up to his nose with his free hand. He nodded. "Good. Now let's go get you cleaned up… You're filthy from being outside in the mud." Ivan followed him back through the bush, but he complained.
"Ah, no, they'll get Yao! He'll scold me the whole time! You have to watch me, Toris! Poshaluysta!" The Russian pleaded.
"It would serve you right! I told you that you'd probably be in trouble for this, Ivan…"
"Poshaluysta, moy drug!" Ivan's hand tightened on the orderly's.
"There they are!" Voices shouted. Arthur was heading towards them, but Yao cut off his path. He was shouting something, but it was in Chinese, and it didn't sound very nice at all. Ivan stopped walking, both hands on Toris' shoulders as he tried to hide behind him.
"Get over here, Ivan!" Yao reverted back to English as he drew closer, trying to get around Toris to the Russian. Ivan only moved the Lithuanian this way or that, much to Toris' dismay.
"I-Ivan, I'll fall!"
"Ivan, you in big-big, huge trouble!" Yao exclaimed, pointing his finger. "I going to take away all privileges! In your room all time! I promise!" The dark-haired doctor was livid. "Come here now, it shower time!"
"Nyet!" Ivan whined. "Toris will watch me!"
"He will not! I watch you! Now let's go!" Dr. Wong pointed towards the entrance.
"Nyet, nyet, nyet!" Ivan shook his head quickly. Toris couldn't believe it. Ivan was usually so friendly with Yao, who was almost shorter than Toris. And yet right now he seemed… almost frightened of the Chinese doctor. Not that he could blame him… Yao was rather intimidating right now somehow…
"Wait just a moment, Dr. Wong." Arthur said as he stepped up, frowning. "I think if it's alright with Toris…"
"Bu shi!" Yao fumed.
"If it's alright with Toris," The Director repeated, fixing Dr. Wong with a glare. "Then it's fine with me." He glanced to the brunette expectantly. Toris stood dumbfounded in the middle of it all suddenly. Ivan's fingers were pinching at his shoulders, and Yao was fixing him with a glare that could melt your soul. Swallowing hard, he opened his mouth slowly,
"I…I guess… I could…" Ivan gave a small sound of happiness from behind him, while Yao threw up his hands, cursing in Chinese again. Toris felt as if any future children he ever might have were being doomed as he slumped his shoulders and Arthur nodded.
"Very well. I'll have someone send towels and a fresh pair of clothes for him. Afterwards he needs his medications." The Englishman turned on his heel, and Yao followed suit, muttering. Toris heaved a heavy sigh, following with heavy feet as Ivan hummed happily behind him.
Once inside the shower room, Ivan began to undress without a pause. His shirt had hit the floor before Toris remembered to glance away, heading for the bath tub to turn it on. "Ah-ah," Ivan said, "I'll shower today." He remarked with a smile, dropping his pants to the floor. Toris was blushing, chastising himself for it even as he nodded, and moved towards the door instead.
"I-I'll wait here for them to bring the towel and clothes then, so that they don't have to come in." He explained. Ivan set his scarf somewhere it wouldn't get wet.
"Ah, spaciba!" The blond responded, turning on the water. He jumped back with a startled yelp, hissing, "Cold!" Toris gave a small laugh behind his hand as the large man stuck his hand out, pulled it back, and stuck it out again until the water was warmer. Ivan only pouted at the orderly, adjusting the temperature and stepping under the spray at last. Water cascaded down over his short blond hair as he ran his fingers through it, soaking it quickly. Rivers of water ran over his shoulders, down his well-toned back. You could only see a little of the extra weight the Russian did have from behind him. The burn on his shoulder wasn't too bad at all, and it didn't take away from his attractiveness.
Water rolled right over that ample, rather shapely backside as well, causing Toris to swallow hard. Green flickered back upwards to see Ivan grinning knowingly, and the brunette gasped out loud as he looked away. Something else… think of something else…!
"Eh-hem…" He cleared his throat, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the wall. Water splattered against the ground, and he tried not to think of anything other than that. "O-oh, Ivan… I wanted to ask you. Um, your … relationship with Dr. Wong…" He stopped when he heard chuckling, glancing back over. Ivan was soaping himself up now, washing away the dirt from his arms and legs.
"Relationship, you say…" He mused.
"Y-You know what I mean!" Toris flustered. Ivan glanced over to the orderly as he tilted his head slightly.
"Da." He said simply, stepping back under the water. Toris glanced mostly away, simply watching him out of the corner of his eyes for the sake of doing his job.
"Then…?"
"I liked Yao." Ivan admitted bluntly. Toris felt tightness in his chest as his face heated up a bit. Shifting his feet, he looked down at the tiled floor.
"…I see."
"But I don't anymore!" Ivan continued, grabbing the shampoo. He began to put it on his hair as he spoke. "I got over it! I like Toris now!" He stepped under the water, washing the shampoo out. Somehow hearing that didn't help this feeling, and yet Toris felt it should have. It really should have.
"So, you'll get over liking me." He decided. Ivan's gaze moved over to the Lithuanian swiftly, frowning.
"Nyet!" He said sharply. Suddenly he was heading over to the brunette, and Toris pressed his back into the wall as he blushed, palms flat against the solid surface. He couldn't look anywhere but Ivan's face once the Russian was close, placing his hand to the wall beside the orderly's head. "Nyet, Toris is different!" He said with a hint of desperation to his voice. His expression was raw without his scarf to cover it; brows furrowed and eyes the lightest color of violet.
"H-how am I different?" Toris tested.
"Toris treats me like I am a person, and not inventory. He speaks kindly to me, and when he scolds me it's because he worries about me. Yao bosses me around and speaks harshly to me all the time. He says such things some days, things I hate to hear."
"Th-they probably for your own good Ivan… Dr. Wong is a good doctor isn't he? He works with you, you listen to him…" Toris responded with, shaking his head. Ivan smiled a little.
"Yao is my friend. He is on my side, but not one of us. Toris, I like you." He leaned in a little closer, his free hand reaching back to slip the tie from Toris' hair.
"I-Ivan!" The Lithuanian whispered as not to shout. He reached up, but the patient held the hair tie out of reach. "You've known me for a week!"
"I'm already crazy Toris. Sanity holds no rules over me, so what does it matter?"
"I have a feeling you're too smart to be as crazy as everyone thinks!" The orderly fumed, his blush reaching his ears now. Ivan was amused,
"Ah, you see? Toris already knows me so well. Only Yao has ever said that to me." He grinned.
"Then go and be with Yao!" Toris suggested, hands closing into fists against the wall. Ivan shook his head.
"Toris says to me 'Spokoynoy nochi'. You only say that to someone you're going to bed with." He smiled now as if he was giving away a secret. Toris' eyes widened.
"I-I didn't know…!" He started, but Ivan's chuckling made him drift off. "You know that!"
"Da, but it still felt good. Did your babushka say that to you? My dorogaya mat' did too, when she stayed until I fell asleep." He recalled fondly. "No one else makes me feel like that, Toris. Not in eight years have I ever felt this way. So, Toris… won't you be mine?" Lips brushed before Ivan pulled back for an answer, his expression straight, no amusement left there. Toris' breath shuddered as he breathed out, heart up in his throat and pounding in his ears. His stomach was light, but in knots. Opened his mouth re respond—knock knock knock! Both of them jumped at the sudden sound.
"Toris, I brought the towel and some clothes for Ivan!" Sarah's voice called. Ivan's expression became alarmed, and he scooted back behind the door. Toris shook his head, opening it just enough to accept the clothing, smiling nervously.
"Th-thank you Sarah." He said shakily, not waiting for an answer to close the door. Holding out the towel to Ivan, he kept his eyes averted. Ivan took it thankfully, drying himself off swiftly. They stayed in silence as he did, until he held out his hand for his clothing. Toris handed it over, swallowing. "A-about that…"
"Nyet, nyet." Ivan responded with a shake of his head as he pulled his boxers on. His pants were next as he smiled, "The mood has passed. I'll ask again later."
"B-but…"
"Ah-ah!" Ivan slipped on his shirt, retrieving his scarf from the hook on the wall and wrapping it around his neck. It hid his face again, his expression gone except for those smiling eyes which seemed a little empty now. Toris' expression was sad, but he nodded. Opening the door, he gave a shout of surprise as he was greeted with Yao's glaring face. Ivan ducked down behind the Lithuanian, but he was too tall to be covered completely. The dark-haired doctor pointed his finger at the patient.
"You. Room, now. Jeff will take you." He gestured to the orderly beside him. "You." He pointed to Toris. "With me." He didn't wait to turn on his heel, heading off down the hall. Toris swallowed as he glanced back at Ivan who was giving him what he swore was a sympathetic look. The Russian stepped past him then, pulling his arm away from Jeff's grabbing hand.
"Don't touch me." He snapped, and Jeff only glared. Ivan headed off down the hall without looking back, leaving Toris alone.
"Toris!" Except for the Chinese man calling his name.
"Y-yes!" He turned as well, following the doctor. They headed through the door to the stairs leading to the offices, following the halls back towards the oval in the center of the giant building. They reached Yao's office soon enough, and Toris let the door close behind him with a click. The doctor walked all the way to his desk, moving to sit behind it. He gestured to one of the two seats in front of it, and the brunette warily sat down. With a heavy sigh, Yao spoke.
"What I tell you?" He asked, frowning at the Lithuanian. Toris swallowed,
"Wh-when?"
"I tell you to be careful!" Yao slapped his palm onto the desk, right over Ivan's file that Toris had brought back that day.
"Ah, but those incidents…"
"Not these incidents! I not give them to you to scare you. Though right now Ivan waxing, need to be more careful yes. But I tell you be careful for other reason." Dark eyes narrowed a little, and Toris felt his face getting hot. He looked a bit uncomfortable, and it didn't escape the doctor's notice. "He like you, I know. But that not mean he not hurt you." Yao stood up, undoing his long white coat. His hands began to work on his shirt buttons, and Toris blinked.
"Wh-what are you…?" He stopped when the Chinese man pulled aside the opening of his shirt to the right, revealing a scar. It looked as if…
"Ivan like me. He stabbed me when we talk one day, in therapy. He cannot control." Yao explained, letting Toris get a long look before he began to fix his shirt back up. He sat back down.
"Wh-what were you talking about?"
"You think like doctor. I like that, Toris." Dr. Wong said with a nod, sitting back down. "Do you know how his father die?" Toris shook his head. "Fire. His house burn down, and they find Ivan burned and shouting 'I'm not sorry, I'm not sorry'. He was bruised up, not from fire. I get his medical records, and they show me things." He placed his hand over another file. "Long, sad history. They say he fight with father, start fire. Ivan was not right," Yao tapped his head, "So they send him to mental institution. Five years in Russia, before they move him here." Toris nodded,
"I saw the entrance papers, but… I didn't know about the fire. Nothing was listed." He said in surprise.
"That because they wish us not to know!" He frowned. "Ivan violent, we not take new violent patients. They say he harmless." Yao laughed. "He is child." Yao's dark eyes moved over the folders on his desk fondly. "But smart child. He close to me." The doctor touched his chest. "I not wish him to be hurt." He sighed, sitting back in his chair. "I thought he ok to go outside, but he surprise me. You bring him back, you watch him in shower. He close to you." Yao said as a fact. Toris bit his lower lip guiltily, and he couldn't deny it. He gave a nod. The doctor sighed again. "He will hurt you."
"I'm resilient." Toris said stubbornly.
"You know what past about father mean?"
"I do." More than you know I do. The Lithuanian thought to himself. "It means he was … His father was an alcoholic, right? And the medical reports… Ivan was abused then." Such a sour, awful word. It did nothing to convey everything that went on in a broken home. "Was the session he stabbed you in about his father?"
"Very good." Yao praised. "You too smart for orderly. When you become doctor intern, maybe you work here again." Toris accepted the compliment, but nothing could lift his mood right now. Hearing these things about Ivan only made him want to help the man more, not scare him away as it was intended. The doctor seemed to know this. "I know about you. I ask Arthur, and he tell me everything. I think reason you want to be psychologist so bad because of family. Am I right?" Toris' eyes moved to the floor.
"…Yes."
"It good reason, but don't get hurt. After this," Yao touched his shoulder, "Ivan punish himself for a week. He no eat, no take medicine, break jar and cut self, was nearly put on feeding tube in isolation." Toris' expression was alarmed. "Ah, no worry. He not do that over your arm. But he come close. If you did not forgive, he might have." Yao sat up straight. "Ivan not only hurt you." He said firmly, finger pointing to the thick folder.
"I-I get it."
"You make sure you not harm him, even if it's by not letting him harm you." Sitting back again, he crossed his arms. "He hurt you again, I will be here. I will write to your professor and tell him you not listen."
"But that's…!" Toris sat up straight now.
"Not like it, then stay away from Ivan." Yao said firmly. Toris felt the bridge of his nose itching in anger, one hand closing into a fist. It wasn't fair! Ivan was dangerous, sure, and it wasn't like he wanted to be hurt but how could he stay away?
"Tell me why he hurt me then!" He demanded. Yao nodded.
"Yes, yes that. He fat." The doctor stated. Toris paused in confusion.
"…What?"
"He fat. You squeeze his cheeks." Yao squeezed his own for a moment. "He think you say he fat. I tell you he abused."
"B-but he's not fat!" Toris argued. "And i-is that something he was abused over?" Yao nodded. "I-I didn't know…!" The orderly was aghast at the thought.
"How you not know? Look how big he is." Yao frowned. Toris frowned right back.
"Not that! That it was a trigger!"
"Ah yes, that." Yao stood up again, both hands on his desk. "If you had stay away like I say, it never happen. Now you know." They stared at one another for a while, eyes narrow and brows drawn. Neither of them was willing to back down, the both of them thinking they knew what was best. After a while, Yao waved his hand. "Arthur trust you, nothing I can do. He no care about Ivan like we do. But I have system, and it work!" He tapped the folder again.
"You think that if I stay away… it's best for him?"
"Unless you get yourself hurt, it's no harm to anyone." Toris breathed a sigh of relief. Yao may have threatened his internship, but there was that condition.
"And… the other thing?" The orderly asked warily.
"I no care what you and he do! Do not get hurt, do not hurt him!"
"A-alright!" Toris answered hurriedly. Yao… Yao knew! How much did Ivan confide, and what had he figured out? Swallowing, Toris stood up slowly. "I-I should get back to my shift then." Yao sighed heavily, sitting back into his seat. He waved his hand.
"Go, go. But remember what I say. Everything about it." He said as he lifted up his pen, opening a folder to start writing swiftly. Toris nodded, feeling his heart pounding as he headed for the door. He left the office with a vague sense of relief about him. Someone knew… And he didn't say that Ivan was manipulating him, or joking with him. That means it was true, about Ivan liking Yao… But, he said he was over it, right?
Mano Dievas… am I really considering Ivan's offer? How insane amI? Ivan's the crazy one, and yet I… Then again, what does sanity even have to do with it?
