-This story uses a NON-CANON TIMELINE, it's sort of a mishmash of all three games so I can keep all the fun characters/make good jokes. You have been warned!
LT KAIDAN ALENKO
TO
ALL CREW
1459, Day cycle Alpha.18
RE: Shore leave privileges
Dear all,
I am sure you have all heard of the goings on of members of the crew while ashore on the Citadel. Needless to say, this was NOT what the Commander meant when she said to behave!
Commander Shepard is currently attacking the punching bag in the cargo bay after a particularly long call with Admiral Hackett.
If I were any of you, I would give her a wide berth.
You have been warned.
-Alenko
COMMENTS DISABLED.
End of post.
CMDR SHEPARD
TO
ALL CREW
1505, Day cycle Alpha.18
RE: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?
There is no further content in this message.
COMMENTS ENABLED
1510, FL MOREAU. Jeepers :/
1511, CMDR SHEPARD. I'd better not see you for the next 24-48 hours Joker. You know why.
1512, FL MOREAU. Aye aye, Cap'n.
1513, CMDR SHEPARD. UGH.
ANONYMOUS
TO
ALL CREW
1512, Day cycle Alpha.18
RE: evening the score
This post has an audiovisual component. Please scan this post with your omnitool to view.
[Surveillance footage], 0229, Day cycle Alpha.16
Rainus Bar, centre table.
LT ALENKO: I LUV ERRYONE IN THIS BARRRR. [LT ALENKO stands between a group of other Alliance marines, arms slung over each other's shoulders]
SOLDIER: WERRR FREAKIN' BROTHERS IN ARMS, MAN [He pounds his fist to his chest. The others yell their approval and toast with their drinks]
LT ALENKO: T'THE 'LLIANCE, AND ALL FOR WHICH SHE (hic) STANDS!
[Surveillance footage], 0246. Day Cycle Alpha.16
Rainus Bar, stage.
LT ALENKO: I'M WALKIN' ON SUNSHINE, WUHH-OHHH, I'M WALKIN' ON SUNSHINE, WUHHH-OH-UH-OHHHH [LT ALENKO leans on the microphone stand as the other soldiers in the bar slump onto the tables laughing]
[Surveillance footage], 0255. Day Cycle Alpha.16
Rainus Bar, stage.
[LT ALENKO stares balefully at his glass of whiskey, somewhat dishevelled, still holding the microphone in his other hand]
LT ALENKO: This goes out to someone special, a woman who doesn't know how amazing she is. If things were different… anyway. [LT ALENKO closes his eyes for a moment as the first strains of piano begin, swaying to the beat]
You'll never know how much I love you…
[Catcalls and wolf whistles from the audience as his thousand-yard stare roves over them. A group of female soldiers in the corner are watching him with rapt attention. One leans her elbow on the table and sighs]
LT ALENKO: You'll never know how much I care…
And if I tried, I still couldn't hide my love for you.
You ought to know, for haven't I told you so,
a million or more times.
[The female soldiers have slowly made their way forward to the front of the stage, staring up at LT ALENKO as he sings]
LT ALENKO: You went away and my heart went with you
I speak your name in my every prayer
If there's some other way to prove that I love you
I swear I don't know how.
[The bar is silent now, male and female soldiers alike stunned into silence as LT ALENKO's warm, gravelly voice fills every corner of the room]
LT ALENKO: You'll never know if you don't know… nooooow—[LT ALENKO takes a step forward as his voice rises in the final notes, not noticing that he is already at the edge of the stage. His foot lands on empty air and he falls headfirst into the gaggle of girls]
LT ALENKO: Unnh [CRASH] I think I sprained my dignity…
End of video.
[Surveillance footage], 0332.
The Normandy, Mess
[LT ALENKO stumbles into the room with an ice pack held to his forehead to see WILLIAMS with her head in the fridge, wearing BDU pants and a pyjama shirt.]
LT ALENKO: ASH! How's it goin'? Greeaat party right? [He makes it to the nearest seat at a table and flops into it, eyes closed and a happy expression on his face.]
WILLIAMS: L.T.! Man you missed some shit, Tali and I found fish in the Presidium lake!
LT ALENKO: Nooo… [LT ALENKO's head droops and his smile fades. Whispers-] I can't believe I missed that…
[WILLIAMS emerges from the fridge, victorious, clutching a bottle of milk and a packet of Thin Mints.]
LT ALENKO: Girls Scout Cookies? You have Girl Scout Cookies? CHIEF, you've been holding out on us. [He watches reverently as she pours two glasses of milk, tucks the cookies under her elbow and makes her way over to him, only weaving a little.]
WILLIAMS: I brought a crate from earth. When I came on board my duffle bag was like 30% clothes, 70% cookies.
LT ALENKO: [Raises his glass of milk to her in a toast] Gotta have your priorities right.
[They eat in silence for a few minutes, dunking cookies in the milk and sloshing quite a bit of it onto the table.]
WILLIAMS: Looks like you had an adventure to. Get in a scuffle? [WILLIAMS indicates the ice pack]
LT ALENKO: [Sighing] No… karaoke accident. Got too swept up in the song, missed the front of the stage. Headlong fall into a bunch of girls that were listening. [LT ALENKO winces at the memory]
WILLIAMS: YOU were singing Karaoke? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS WAS HAPPENING? What did you sing? I bet you had all the girls eating out of your hand!
LT ALENKO: 'You'll never know', that old Earth song.
WILLIAMS: UGH, should've known you were a romantic. So, who is she? Or he? Special lady friend? Special guy friend?
[LT ALENKO chokes on his milk. Swearing, he wipes his mouth on the back of his hand and takes a deep breath. Williams looks on, bemused.]
WILLIAMS: Geez, I was just tryin' to be inclusive you know? [She takes a bite of another cookie and stares at it minutely, oblivious to LT ALENKO's continued discomfort]
LT ALENKO: Uh, no Chief. No one waiting for me…
WILLIAMS: [Still staring at the cookie, examining the chocolate on the outside] Damn these are good…Come on, to choose that for drunk karaoke? There must be someone you were thinking of, surely. Handsome guy like you?
LT ALENKO: Look, Ash, 'm flattered but— [WILLIAMS shoots him a withering look over what's left of her cookie]
WILLIAMS: Don't get your knickers in a knot L.T., I'm just making conversation. [LT ALENKO breathes an audible sigh of relief.] I've got this guy back on Earth, he's pretty good, but I'm not sure I'm ready for anything you know? And the whole long-distance thing just reeks of bad news.
[LT ALENKO looks at her, considering, as she chugs the last of her milk and leans back.]
LT ALENKO: I had a girl on Earth once, while I was serving. It's tough being apart for so long. Can't really feel like you're sharing your lives right?
WILLIAMS: I don't think it's worth it right now. I'm moving about too much, and I dunno if he'll hang around for me. Best leave it casual, Have some fun. [WILLIAMS returns her gaze to him, where he's slumped on the table and staring at his milk glass]
WILLIAMS: There's got to be someone you like, even just a little… come on there's no one else around L.T.!
[LT ALENKO sighs, propping up his chin on his hand and looking at WILLIAMS appraisingly.]
LT ALENKO: There is someone… maybe… [WILLIAMS grins widely and throws up her hands in triumph.]
WILLIAMS: I knew it! Who is she? Is she hot? What's she like? [LT ALENKO sighs, wincing slightly]
LT ALENKO: She's- I don't know what she is. Just, someone I like, I guess. She doesn't even know, it's… complicated.
WILLIAMS: You like her, you drunk karaoked about her for goodness sake, what's complicated about that? Ask her out! Is she on the citadel? Did you see her when we were on shore leave? [WILLIAMS gasps, hands flat on the table] WAS SHE IN THE ROOM WATCHING YOU SING?
[LT ALENKO rolls his eyes and then considers for a second, trying to decide how much to divulge]
LT ALENKO: No, she wasn't there. Perhaps... someday. When 'm not so wasted.
WILLIAMS: Hahaha, good call L.T., you'd probably end up with your foot in your mouth if you tried now! Not sure you'd be able to form actual sentences…
[LT ALENKO smiles vaguely, eyes resting infinitesimally on the door that leads to the commander's cabin]
End of video.
End of post.
COMMENTS ENABLED.
1515, CMDR SHEPARD: YOU TOO KAIDAN? REALLY?
1516, LT ALENKO. Oh god…
This post was deleted by CMDR SHEPARD.
This post could not be deleted.
This post was deleted by LT ALENKO.
This post could not be deleted.
This post was locked for viewing by CMDR SHEPARD.
This post could not be locked.
1523, ANONYMOUS. Nice try.
1525, LT ALENKO. Well, shit.
COMMENTS have been DISABLED for this post by LT ALENKO.
COMMENTS were DISABLED.
1527, ANONYMOUS. I'll give you that one. I'm not completely ruthless.
Hi all, hope you're all well :) Your reviews are keeping me going through the (beginning of) exams. I have a 10K report due on Tuesday and your comments really brighten my stressful days! Please keep them coming.
This was a bit of a set up chapter, hope you enjoyed and look forward to the many foot-in-mouth Kaidan/Shepard moments to come! One last story of Citadel leave to come.. can you guess who it is?
-AT
