A/N: -facepalm- I am so sorry for the inexcusable delay in updating this fic...real life has been really hectic, between moving and my junior year of high school and just everything that has been going on. I hope you can all accept my apologies. The good news is, when I began this chapter I realized just how much I missed writing this story. There are few things I enjoy more than writing for this little "verse" that I've created. So, in an attempt to make it up to you, this is a really long chapter. I hope you enjoy, and please review! A big thanks to everyone who has continued to follow this story despite all of the long waits...you guys are the best!

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Monday, October 25th, 2020

The morning after her training session with Kenny, Serena lied awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. She hadn't slept very well. She had dreamt that a giant, troll-like demon had taken Kenny and Billy hostage, and had them at opposite ends of a plank that hovered over the ocean. She had been standing in the middle, and as the plank started to give, she knew that she only had time to save one of them and leap to safety. "Make your choice!" the demon had yelled, with an evil, cackling laugh. She had just stood there, looking back and forth between the two of them, unable to move. Then she had felt the plank give way, and just as she started to fall through the air she had jolted awake in her bed, her heart racing. After that, she hadn't been able to fall back asleep.

What got to her most was the reality of the dream. Sure, it was a highly exaggerated metaphor for her situation, but the fact of the matter remained. She had a decision to make. She either had to realize that her feelings for Kenny were very likely to go unrequited, and attempt to move on and find happiness with Billy...or, end what could be the start of something really good with Billy on the small chance that someday, Kenny would come around.

But perhaps the thing that scared her the most was the very real possibility that she could end up with nothing. Just like in the dream, when her inability to decide had sent both of them plunging to their deaths, along with herself.

She groaned into her pillow as she turned over to lie on her stomach. She still couldn't believe how drastically she had acted yesterday. She had never in a million years intended for things to go that far. But in the heat of the moment, after seeing the slight flicker of something in Kenny's eyes...

What if I'm reading him all wrong? What if, like he said, his only feelings for me are platonic? What if he only sees me as his slayer, some responsibility? But then she saw the incident in the basement replay in her mind. For a split second, I was so sure that he was going to kiss me. I was so sure.

But despite that one tiny moment when she was sure they had connected on a deeper level, as soon as she had returned from taking Liz's phone call, Kenny had transformed back into his usual, all-business self, acting detached and even cool towards her as he robotically explained the more delicate aspects of vampire slaying. It had been as if the near-kiss had never even happened.

Maybe I just dreamed the whole thing, she thought glumly. Maybe it was like that thing that Mrs. Fay mentioned in Psych last week, about how dreams usually represent urges or wishes that go unrealized during the waking hours.

She slowly sat up in bed, resigned to the fact that more sleep was out of the question. She didn't have school today, it was a superintendent's conference day. It was only 8:30, so she didn't want to wake her parents up yet. Instead, she padded over to her computer, plopping down at her desk as she turned on her instant messenger. Almost immediately, an IM from Liz popped up on the screen.

xMissLizx: You're up early for a day off.

Serena quickly typed a response.

Serena0722: Couldn't sleep. You?

xMissLizx: Remember, I'm not as lucky as you. I don't have a computer in my room, so my best chances of getting some undisturbed surfing time in is when the fam's asleep.

Before she could reply, another message quickly popped up.

xMissLizx: So, you never called back to tell me what was up with you yesterday. When I called you sounded like you had just got back from Mars or something.

Serena sighed as she contemplated her response. I can't hide this from Liz any longer. Maybe she won't understand, but I need to talk to someone.

Serena0722: I think I may have majorly screwed up my life.

xMissLizx: I knew it. This has to do with a certain blonde British hunk, doesn't it?

Serena0722: You know me too well.

xMissLizx: Okay. As soon as my mom gets up, I'm coming over.

Serena smiled gratefully. Sometimes it really was like she and Liz could read each other's minds.

Serena0722: Thanks. You're the best.

xMissLizx: Hang in there. I'm gonna go get ready. 3 you.

Serena0722: 3 See you soon.

Liz signed off, and Serena did the same a couple of minutes later. Liz is going to think I'm crazy. But at least I'll be able to talk to someone, she thought.

She picked up the book she was reading, trying to focus on something other than the war waging in her mind, but she only succeeded in giving herself a faint headache. She tossed the book aside and looked at the clock again. It was almost 9. Her parents usually got up around this time. She turned on the tv and absentmindedly flipped channels until she heard faint noises down the hall. Her parents were up. She switched off the tv and slowly walked to the door, trying to look as if she was slightly groggy from sleep. She wandered slowly out into the hall. Buffy was pulling on her robe, and she smiled at her daughter. "Good morning baby. You're up early."

"Nine o'clock isn't exactly early," Serena said wryly.

"Well, for you on a Sunday it is," her mother said cheerfully. "Want some breakfast? I think your dad's going to make pancakes."

"That sounds good," Serena said truthfully. She hadn't noticed how hungry she was until the mention of food had caused her stomach to growl loudly. "I'll be down in a minute." She quickly entered the bathroom and went through her quick morning ritual. While she was washing her hands she thought about how happy her parents had been lately. The thought made her smile. Ever since Liam, there had been a sort of dark cloud that had always hung over their household, a kind of heavy presence that no one ever acknowledged, yet everyone was more than aware of. It had affected her parents' marriage in particular. But just within these last few months, she had noticed a world of difference. She wasn't sure exactly what had brought it about. She assumed that something had happened that had finally persuaded them to talk about what had happened five years ago. She suspected that herself being called as a slayer had something to do with it. Whatever had caused the change, she was very grateful. It was wonderful to see her parents so happy again, just like she remembered them being when she was little, before everything had happened.

She finished up in the bathroom and headed downstairs. Buffy was in the kitchen, getting out dishes for breakfast. She hoisted herself up onto one of the stools. Her mother turned to smile at her. "We ran out of pancake mix. Your dad just went to get some more, he'll only be a minute."

Serena nodded. She thought for a second before making up her mind to ask the question that was now nagging at her brain. "Mom, it's great to see you and dad so happy lately."

Buffy smiled at her, surprised at her words. "Yes. It's great to be happy."

"What brought this about? I mean, I have some idea, but I'm just wondering. It's almost like all of a sudden, one day all of the bad went away, and things were..." her voice trailed off.

"Like they used to be," Buffy finished for her. She put down the dishes, stopping to stare at Serena. "Well, you're a smart girl. Even though you were young, I'm sure you remember what losing Liam did to your father and I." Serena nodded somberly. "Well, we didn't talk about it for the longest time. We kept a lot of it bottled up inside, and I regret more than anything that it took five years for us to finally confront those demons. But then I guess I just realized that this was the way things were meant to be, and we finally got everything out in the open. And I am so glad we did."

"What made you realize that this was the way things were meant to be?" Serena asked with quiet curiosity.

Buffy smiled to herself as she considered how to explain it. She knew she couldn't just say that an angel, or whoever Anne had been, had appeared before her and showed her a glimpse of what her life might have been like if she had stayed in New York. Despite all of the odd things this family had been through, that sounded even crazier than usual. Also, she had felt a strong sense ever since that day that it was something she should keep to herself. That was why she had never told anyone.

"Well, I had been thinking a lot about some choices I made in my life, and wondering if they were the right ones," Buffy explained. "I've told you about my life in New York." Serena nodded. "Well, when your father came back into my life, I was in the middle of something completely different from what I'd had back here, in Sunnydale. And I was happy there." She thought back to that pivotal time in her life; some of those days remained some of her most vivid memories even years later. "Your father presented the opportunity to go back to this life. That was probably the hardest decision I ever had to make. And I came so close to staying in New York," Buffy said, remembering that fateful interview at the New York Times and rushing into the apartment just as Angel was about to sign the commitment papers. "But then I realized that it was time to come home."

"How did you know?" Serena said. Sure, she had heard tons of stories about her mother's life in New York when she was known as Lynn Herring. After all, Serena's middle name was Lynn. Her mother often said that she had chosen that to be a part of her daughter's name in order to honor that time in her life. But now, in her current situation, all of this talk about choices seemed more meaningful than ever before.

"I just followed my heart," Buffy admitted. "There's no other way to describe it. I guess I just knew."

"But after, you were afraid that you'd made the wrong choice," Serena said for clarification.

"Not for a long time. For years, we were so happy here. You were born, everything was wonderful. It wasn't until we lost Liam that I really looked back on that decision. And then, when you were called, that made me think about it even more."

"Because coming back to Sunnydale also meant coming back to being the slayer," Serena said, understanding.

Buffy nodded. "But I realized that where we lived wasn't going to matter in the grand scheme of things. Sure, some things would be different." She felt a painful pang as she thought back to the beautiful little boy running through the apartment in the alternate reality Anne had shown her.

Serena was deep in thought. "So you don't regret the choice you made now."

"Not at all," Buffy said with quiet confidence. "This is the way things were meant to be, baby. It was a long road to get to where we are today."

Maybe I just need to follow my heart, so I can be like mom and not have any regrets when I look back on this x number of years from now, she thought. She had opened her mouth to say something when she heard the front door close. A moment later, Angel walked into the kitchen, setting a bag down on the counter. "Good morning Serena," her father said, leaning over to kiss her on the head.

"Good morning Dad," Serena said with a smile.

Angel looked back and forth from his wife to his daughter. "Why do I feel like I'm interrupting something?"

"Serena and I were just talking about choices, and destiny, and all that good stuff," Buffy said, opening the new box of pancake mix and heading over to the stove.

"Ah, I see. Why don't you let me do that," Angel said, gently taking the box from her hands. She smiled as he leaned down to give her a quick kiss on the lips. They grinned happily at each other before she stepped back, leaving Angel to man the stove.

Buffy seemed to be considering something. She glanced over her shoulder at her husband. "We were talking a little bit about my time in New York. That got me thinking that I have some news to share."

Serena perked up, snapping out of her thoughts. "Ooh, news? What kind?"

"Good, I hope," Buffy said. All of a sudden she looked slightly apprehensive and excited at the same time, almost in a young, childish way that made her face light up. "Your father already knows a little bit of this, but I've been waiting for the right time to tell you."

Angel turned his head around, an eyebrow raised as he realized what she was talking about. "So you're done with the whole 'top-secret' thing?"

Buffy took a deep, nervous breath. "Yes, I think it's time that I tell everyone."

They definitely had their daughter's attention now. "Oh, come on! What is it?" Serena asked, nearly falling off her chair in anticipation.

Buffy paused a moment to add suspense. "I've written another book," she finally blurted out.

Serena's jaw dropped at the revelation. "You what? Oh, mom, that's great!" She jumped off her chair and scurried around the counter to give her mother a big hug.

"I can barely believe it myself," Buffy said, happily hugging her back.

"Wait a second, 'I've written another book'...that's past tense," Angel said suspiciously, as he leaned against the counter next to the stove were several big pancakes were cooking. "You finished?"

"I finished the first draft last night," Buffy said.

"Oh my God, how long has this been going on? Why didn't you tell me?" Serena said, still in shock. Her mother had barely written since she had been born! After the huge success of Forbidden Love, the only other writing she had done was a book of short stories several years ago, before she gotten pregnant with Liam. She knew that her mom's old publicist had never given up on the hope that she would come out of her virtual retirement and write another masterpiece, but she had honestly thought that her mother had given up writing.

"I started on your birthday," Buffy explained. "I don't know...I was watching you, and all of our friends and family so happy...and I guess I got inspired. I didn't tell you because I have felt so self-conscious about writing again...it's been such a long time, I'm worried that it isn't any good."

"She didn't even tell me for a couple weeks," Angel chimed in. "And she still refuses to let me read any of it."

"I've been doing most of the writing at night," Buffy explained. "I don't know, you just have so many things to worry about, with your slaying, and school and everything, I didn't want to bother you with it."

"Mom, I think it's amazing that you're writing again," Serena said enthusiastically. "I'm so proud of you." She paused. "So, what's it about? The book, I mean."

"It's actually a sequel to Forbidden Love, in a way," Buffy said nervously. "It's...well, baby, it's about you."

Serena blinked. "Excuse me?"

"It's about you. I'm sure you've figured out by now that Forbidden Love is about your father and I, just with some names changed and a few other minor details that are different. This book, it's called Fate of the Child and it's about you becoming the slayer."

Serena was so in disbelief over these revelations that for a few moments, all thoughts of Kenny and Billy were completely vanquished from her mind. "You wrote a book about me?" she squeaked.

Buffy laughed. "Yes. After all, you were my inspiration to start writing again."

"What's my name? The character based on me, I mean," she asked excitedly. She knew of course that the name of her mother's alter ego in Forbidden Love was Serena, so she wondered what her "name" would be.

"Eve," Buffy said tentatively. "It's just another name I've always liked, and I thought it-"

"It's beautiful," Serena said with a smile. She looked back and forth between her parents. "So, who else knows? That you wrote another book?"

"No one," Buffy said with a sigh. "I've been too nervous to tell anyone. But, I think I might try and muster up the courage to call Shirley today."

"She is going to freak when she finds out you're writing again," Angel said with a chuckle.

"In a good way, I hope," Buffy said. "I mean, this is far from a done deal, I don't even know if it's good, and it still needs to be edited, revised, the publisher's need to agree to print and market it, I mean, all the fans of Forbidden Love are probably grandparents by now, even if it does get printed who knows if anyone will buy it..."

"Honey, relax. Everyone will love it. You have a real gift for writing," Angel reassured her as he dished pancakes onto plates.

"Well, maybe I used to, but who knows if I do anymore," Buffy said, thanking her husband as she accepted a pancake-filled plate, sitting down at the counter to eat it.

Serena took her own plate and began pouring maple syrup over the fresh pancakes. "Mom, you worry too much. Besides, what do you have to lose?"

Buffy chewed her food as she considered that. "I suppose that's true."

Angel joined them, putting an arm around his wife's shoulders and giving her a gentle squeeze. "And we're both here for you, 100."

She smiled at him as the three of them continued to eat their breakfast. They were fairly silent as they consumed the fairly delicious pancakes. Just as Serena was getting up to set her plate in the sink, the doorbell rang. Her hand flew to her mouth, as she suddenly remembered her conversation with Liz from this morning. "Oh, that's Liz. She wanted to come over today, I completely forgot to tell you in all of the excitement."

"It's okay," Buffy said. Liz had become such a fixture in their home that it was no longer an event when she came over. "Go let her in. We can make some more pancakes if she wants them."

Serena hurried out to the door, swinging it open to reveal her friend, standing on the porch as her mother backed out of the driveway. "Hey," Serena said, waving to Mrs. Chester in the car before closing the door behind her friend.

"Hey yourself," Liz said. "What's up? Took you long enough to answer the door."

"I'm sorry, I got a little distracted and I almost forgot you were coming," Serena confessed. The two of them entered the kitchen, where Buffy and Angel were cleaning up from breakfast.

"Good morning Mr. and Mrs. O'Leary," Liz said.

"Liz, what do I always tell you? Please call us by our first names," Buffy insisted.

Liz laughed. "Okay, Buffy."

She smiled. "That's better."

Serena looked at Liz expectantly. "So, you wanna go upstairs?"

"Sure," Liz said. She waved once more at Buffy and Angel before following her best friend up the stairs. Once they were safely in Serena's room with the door closed, she got down to business. "Okay. Spill. How did you screw up your life?"

"You won't believe what I did yesterday," Serena said, blushing a little just thinking about it. She sat down on her bed and hugged her favorite pillow while Liz sat down in Serena's computer chair. She took a deep breath. "Okay. I guess it all started on Saturday. Billy came over while I was training with Kenny."

"Oh boy," Liz said. "I can already tell where this is going."

Serena continued. "Well, I went inside to meet Billy, and Kenny kind of followed, you know. So I introduced them to each other. And there was all of this...tension. And then all of a sudden Kenny made up some lame excuse about having a 'previous engagement' and practically bolted out of here."

Liz raised an eyebrow. "Maybe you just imagined it."

"No, my mom noticed something was up too. It was beyond obvious," she said with a sigh. "But Liz, that made me question everything all over again. I swear I didn't make it up. When I introduced Billy as my boyfriend, Kenny seemed..."

"Jealous?" Liz finished.

"Yeah, he did," Serena said defensively. "So I went outside to get some air and I ended up talking to Willow and Tara. I didn't tell them exactly what was going on, I pretended it was hypothetical, but they told me I should try and find out if Kenny really does like me before I do something I'd regret."

"Oh God, Rena, what did you do?" Liz asked with dread.

Serena buried her face in the pillow. "I dared him to kiss me."

"You did WHAT?" Liz yelped.

"I know, I know! It was so stupid. I still can't believe I did it. But we were training, and then I kind of fell, and he caught me, and we were all...close, and then I brought up Billy, and Kenny insisted that his feelings for me were completely platonic," Serena said in a rush. She felt an almost physical pain at recalling Kenny speaking those words that she had dreaded to hear out loud for a while now.

"So you dared him to kiss you?" Liz said, staring at her as if she were not her best friend, but a Martian.

"Yes, I did. And I know you probably won't believe me, but I really think he was going to. And then you called!" Serena said in frustrated, chucking the pillow at her friend.

Liz caught it smoothly, staring at her friend as if seeing her for the first time. "Rena...oh my God. Oh my God. This thing with you and Kenny...this is way more than just a little crush, isn't it?"

"That ship sailed a long time ago," Serena said miserably.

Liz slowly walked over to the bed, sitting down next to her. "Rena, are you in love with him?"

She looked down at her hands. "I can't be sure. But...I think so."

Liz let out a long, slow breath. "Wow." She shook her head. "Rena, you have a great thing going with Billy. That boy is crazy about you. Leave it to you to complicate things."

"I know. And that's what I feel the worst about. I like Billy, Liz, I really, really do. He's nice, and respectful, and cute, and we have so much in common. But then there's Kenny. And we are probably more different than any two people could be. But when I look at him, I just feel something that isn't there with Billy. I've tried to feel that way about him, I've tried so hard. But it's just not happening," Serena said, feeling the tears start to rise.

"So why don't you break up with him?" Liz asked softly.

Serena turned to stare at her friend. "Because I'm afraid of being all alone."

"You're afraid you'll dump Billy, and then you'll find out that Kenny wasn't kidding about only having platonic feelings for you," Liz concluded.

"Exactly."

Liz stared at her in disbelief. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

Serena shrugged stupidly. "I don't know. I thought you wouldn't understand. You're always saying how lucky I am to have Billy, and how things would never work with Kenny and me."

"I'm just trying to be the voice of reason. But obviously, reason is not your friend," Liz said, a smile playing at her lips.

"Tell me about it," Serena replied. "I just don't know what to do."

Liz shook her head. "I don't know either." She paused. "This is going to sound really cliched, but I think this is one of those times when you're supposed to follow your heart."

Serena laughed a little at the irony. "That's not the first time I've heard that today." Liz looked at her questioningly. "My mom. We were talking about choices. You know, she wrote another book. It's kind of ironic how my mom finally has her life right back on track, just when mine is spinning out of control."

Liz put an arm around her friend. "Maybe you shouldn't force it. Just try not to think about it for a while. Maybe the answer will come to you."

"Okay, Dr. Phil," Serena said wryly. They shared a laugh. You just have to follow your heart, Serena repeated to herself.

I just hope it knows where it's going.

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TBC!