Daichi stared out the window of his childhood bedroom. The sky was stained watery yellow and deep purple. He hadn't been able to fall asleep knowing that only one of his parents was in the room across from his. The brunet had kept looking from his door, to his wrist, to the window, and back to the door for the past two hours. The time was approaching three in the morning. Daichi eyed the pocket knife on his nightstand.
He didn't want to. He did not want to do this again. He promised himself he wouldn't. His mother would be disappointed, Tanaka and Noya would be disappointed, and dear God he couldn't even begin to imagine how disappointed Sugawara would be. But despite all of that, he watched himself pick up the pocket knife and flip the knife out.
Daichi would be seeing his father's lifeless face today. Daichi would be seeing his grandparents and his cousins and his aunts and uncles crying. Daichi would here empty apologies of "I'm sorry for your loss".
He didn't want any of this. The brunet brought the blade to his wrist, not the same one from last time. Once for his father, another for the crying faces, and another for empty apologies.
Daichi wasn't shaking as bad as he had the first time he had left scars. However, the pain shot down his arm all the same, causing him to drop the pocket knife.
He closed his eyes and held his arm in a vice like grip. He inhaled through his nose and exhaled out his mouth, trying to keep his breathing steady. Daichi felt tears sting the backs of his eyes but he didn't dare let them fall. He didn't want to cry.
Not anymore.
Suga had gotten home pretty late. He should've known that there would be tons of traffic. After all, it was a Friday night, and most college kids in the area where heading somewhere, whether it be to a party, or back home to their families.
However, Suga had eventually gotten home at about eleven at night. He slung his duffel bag over his shoulder and dug out his house key from his pocket. Turning the key in the lock, Suga quietly opened the door. He closed it behind him with a soft click and kicked off his shoes. The ash blond peered into the living room and saw that his father was asleep in the recliner. His mother, however, was awake, and rose to her feet with a smile on her face.
"Oh Koushi, I'm so happy you're home!" She whispered as she walked over to him to embrace him. Sugawara chuckled as she pulled him down into a hug.
"Did you guys wait up for me? You really didn't have to, you know." Suga smiled as he pulled away from his mother. She had dark eyes that crinkled at the corners when she smiled, and her hair was nearly white.
She looked over her shoulder at Suga's father, who's glasses had went askew from falling asleep on the recliner. His salt and pepper hair seemed to glow in the low light of the television. Suga chuckled again. His dad almost always fell asleep in front of the TV. He wondered what Daichi's parents were like.
Suddenly, Suga's stomach knotted. His mother was saying something, but he wasn't paying attention. The ash blond reached for his phone in his back pocket to check if he had any new messages or missed calls. The screen was blank, only displaying the time and his lock screen. His brow furrowed.
"Is everything alright, Koushi?" His mother's voice broke through his thoughts and Suga shook his head to clear it. He bit his lower lip, contemplating on the thought of spilling to his mom everything about the raven haired man he had met.
"What's his name?" She asked quietly, but a playful smile graced her features.
Suga jumped, surprised at her words. "W-what makes you think that? You always think it's that, and it's not always that-"
"What's his name, Koushi?"
He sighed. There was no way around it. Ever since that one year in high school when he came out to his friends and his parents, his mother had always playfully teased him when he had been out of sorts, as if day dreaming about some boy. He was grateful that she and his dad hadn't treated him poorly after saying that he didn't like girls, because he knew some kids weren't as lucky.
"H-his name?" Suga's face flushed bright red. "Can't we t-talk about this tomorrow, mom? I'm tired; I had class today."
Her smile only widened. "So it is a boy, then? I knew it!"
"Mom, seriously. I should get to bed."
"Oh, alright. But I'm not dropping this tomorrow, Koushi."
Groaning inwardly, Suga dragged himself and his duffel bag up the stairs and into his childhood room. Everything was the way he had left it the last time he had been there. His bed was made and his desk had nothing but a lamp on it.
Suga tossed his bag next to his bed and fell backwards on top of the comforter. He pulled his phone out of his front pocket and checked for any messages. Again, his screen was blank. Suga turned on his side and scolded himself.
Back off of him, you're going to suffocate him, the ash blond told himself. He doesn't have to update you every second of every day.
He sat up and leaned against the headboard of his bed and placed his phone on his nightstand. Too lazy to get up and change, Suga kicked off his shoes, shrugged off his jacket, and took off his belt before crawling under the covers.
"Suga-san!"
Sugawara's face lit up as he caught sight of Hinata and Kageyama. The both of them had grown so much since he had last seen them. Both of their bodies had filled out, and Hinata wasn't the same scrawny first year Sugawara had met almost three years ago. His ginger hair was longer, pulled into a tiny ponytail. Kageyama on the other hand, simply looked taller and his face, chiseled. He had also let his hair grow out, but not as much as Hinata had. The raven haired boy still wore the same pout, and the ginger haired boy still wore the same sunny smile Suga had always known. He smiled wider.
"Hinata! Kageyama! How are you two doing? It feels like forever since I've last seen you two in person." Suga greeted as he finally approached them. He furrowed his brows as he realized that Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were absent. "Where are Tsukki and Yamaguchi?"
Hinata and Kageyama exchanged a look, the ginger smiling so much that Suga thought his face would split in two. Hinata bounced on his feet.
"They're on a date." Hinata giggled. "They finally got together last month."
"I called it back in our first year," Kageyama interjected. "There was no way Tsukishima wasn't gay for Yamaguchi back then."
"Wow, good for them!" Suga exclaimed. Back in his third year of high school, he had also clearly seen the bond between the two then first years. He smiled at the thought, and then smirked mischievously at the boys in front of him.
"So when are you two going to start dating?"
Kageyama choked on his own breath and spluttered. Hinata's face went nearly as red as the scarf he was wearing, and burrowed his face in his jacket. The raven haired boy managed to choke out a few sentences.
"W-why on earth would I date him?" Kageyama stammered. "He's stupid and obnoxious a-and annoying! He doesn't know when to shut up!"
When Suga looked at Hinata to see how he would protest against dating Kageyama, something flashed in his brown eyes. His eyes flitted downwards, and he bit his lower lip as if to keep from crying. He shoved his hands in his pockets and moved past Suga.
"L-let's just get to that coffee shop you wanted to try, Suga-san," Hinata mumbled and began to walk down the sidewalk. The ash blond elbowed Kageyama in the side, and he yelped at the action
"Be careful what you say around him, Kageyama. He's touchy, you should know that by now." Suga dropped his voice to a whisper as he and Kageyama began walking behind the ginger haired boy. Kageyama only pouted and narrowed his eyes, mumbling a few choice words under his breath.
Suga knew he hadn't meant what he said, but he really had to be careful. He had come to figure out that Hinata was slightly insecure with himself, but there really was no reason to be. However, almost nobody's mind could be changed once they thought of themselves that way.
They continued to walk in comfortable silence. The three of them reached the coffee shop, ordered what they wanted, and grabbed a table near the window. Suga encircled his drink with his hands. This reminded him of that failed attempt at what would've been a date (almost) with Daichi.
"Suga-san? Is something wrong?"
The ash blond looked up at the two third years as he broke out of his reverie. He forced a bit of a smile.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Suga replied. "It's just that the last time I was at a coffee shop, I had been with Daichi and he, well..."
"What happened?" Kageyama asked, furrowing his brow as he took a sip of his black coffee.
"He wasn't feeling right." Suga's voice dropped to barely a whisper as he continued. "He didn't look like he felt right. He hasn't been himself lately, either. I'm really worried about him."
Hinata blinked at Sugawara. "Is he...y'know, is he acting like Yamaguchi had last year?"
Sugawara dropped his gaze. Yamaguchi had been depressed ever since the middle of his first year. Nobody had really noticed it at first, but Tsukishima was quick to find out in their second year that the freckled boy had been down and that he had contemplated taking his life. Suddenly, Suga felt like he couldn't breathe.
"I...I don't know. He's just not acting like himself," Suga murmured. "His father just passed away, and he went home just for the weekend to attend the funeral. I think it's today. I haven't talked to him since Friday."
"I think you should talk to him," Kageyama stated as he finished off his drink. "You never know what could be running through his head, you know?"
"Kageyama's right," Hinata surprisingly agreed with the raven haired boy. "I'm not saying he is, but he could be thinking like Yamaguchi was last year. But, for both of your sakes, I really hope he isn't."
"Right." Suga exhaled. He really hoped Daichi wasn't thinking like that. He dropped his gaze to his lukewarm coffee.
"Aw cheer up, Suga-san!" Hinata grinned. "You really shouldn't be so sad. I'm sure he'll be okay with you around. You always find a way to make everything better."
"Thank you, Hinata." Suga smiled. He sighed and looked up at Hinata and Kageyama. "Seriously, how are you two not dating yet?"
Kageyama bit his lip, his entire face flushing red. Hinata's cheeks also became red, and he chanced a few glances at the boy to his right. Suga grinned as Kageyama muttered something incoherent under his breath.
"I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't quite hear you, Kageyama," Suga teased as he leaned a little closer to the boy to hear him.
"It's 'cause he's so damn oblivious," Kageyama muttered a little louder than before. The ginger's eyes widened as the words hit his ears, and he swiftly turned his head to look at the raven haired boy. Suga covered his mouth with his hand to muffle his laughter.
"I...I'm the oblivious one?! Y-you're one to talk, stupid!" Hinata made hand gestures to convey his frustration and embarrassment. "You keep giving me mixed signals and crap! H-how do think I t-take your insults?! They hurt!"
"Hey, calm down, Hinata-"
"You know I'm not good with words," Kageyama muttered from behind the collar of his jacket. "You insult me too, you know."
Suga watched as the conversation unfolded. He totally called back in his third year that they would eventually get together. The conversation went from them telling each other that their insults were meant for endearment, not in a derogatory sense. The ash blond covered his smile with his hand.
"See, thanks to me, you two will start dating." The two muttered things under their breath, stuff that sounded like sarcastic remarks. Suga could help but grin wider.
The three of them eventually decided to leave the café and split ways. Well, Suga split ways with the two boys who were now holding hands. The ash blond waved goodbye to them, promising to meet up with them later in the week, next time with Tsukishima and Yamaguchi.
As he walked home, snow started to fall lightly. He tugged his scarf up over his ears and continued to walk home. He glanced at the time on his phone, and pondered on the thought of Skyping Daichi when he returned home. Suga thought it better not to, since the other would most likely be emotionally drained from the service earlier that day. He just hoped that Daichi would be able to stuck it out without him for the rest of the week
