"Monty!" Lindsay yelled, running up and grabbing Monty. "A fan pointed out a glitch to us in the Let's Play animation. Can you come check it out?" She half dragged, half carried him to Achievement Hunter. Shutting the door behind her with a well placed kick, she set Monty, who was in quite a bit of shock, down on the couch.
"What happened?" Ray asked. "Should we get him a hat?"
"I think it's a little too late for that, Ray," Michael responded.
"You said Matt saw him?" Caleb said. "He's gonna be bursting through that door any second now."
"Could everyone just shut up for a second?" Lindsay commanded. "Monty's freaking out over here."
Hands on his new ears, Monty brought his knees up to his chest and looked blankly confused. "I think I'm just gonna go to sleep." He closed his eyes and rested his head on his knees.
"What," Matt said, slamming the door open, "is going on?! It could've been just regular AH antics with Monty dressed up all Monty-like, but I refuse to believe that on the grounds that Gavin is over there being dumber than usual!" Matt paused and pointed down the hall. "I think he's trying to give me a puberty talk about Monty, saying it's a natural part of everyone's life or some shit. So, if someone would please explain everything, I will give you ten bucks. Right here, right now."
"I'm a rabbit," Ray said, taking off his hood and holding out his hand. "Pay up!"
"I said explain." Matt looked even more confused than before.
"We got sick and then we turned into Faunus," Michael said. Matt nodded slowly and pulled out his phone. "What are you doing?"
"Getting these animal idiots to show up for work." Matt sent out a mass text reading 'I don't care if you dickmunches are part animal, get to work.'
Burnie was the first to reply. 'Matt why the fuck would you start a group text'
Geoff was next. 'No Barbara's gonna make puns about me'
Then Michael. 'Dude I'm standing right next to you why would you add me to the group and you owe me 10 buks' '*bicks' '*ducks' 'you know what fuck it but I still want my money'
Joel. 'If your standing right next to him Michael why would you text instead of speak'
Michael. 'You're'
Kdin 'Who changed my text tone to Gavin's noise thing'
Ryan. 'Geoff you think you're going to be made fun of wait until I show up'
And finally, Matt once more. 'JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET TO WORK'
"Monty's asleep," Lindsay said.
"No I'm not."
"You just said you're going to sleep."
"Then my phone started vibrating madly in my pocket."
"Jesus, Matt, who did you not send that text to?" Ray asked.
"Does it matter at this point?" Matt sighed. "Look, I don't care who's an animal or whatever, let's just take this day by day. Animal ears and crap are no excuses to skip work."
"Matt," Gavin said, running in, "does this mean I can take my wings out?"
"I don't even know and I don't care. I am surrounded by crazy." Matt walked out.
"Aww, cheer up," Caleb said pulling his own hat off. "Maybe you'll get your very own wings someday."
"Someone get me some scissors, or a knife, or something sharp," Gavin said, fumbling with the belts holding his wings down under his lifted up shirt. "I'm about to get very... crafty."
"Look on Ryan's desk," Michael said.
"Hey. Hey Monty," Lindsay said, gently shaking Monty. "You awake?"
"No."
"Wait," Ray said, "how did you not notice that you have ears and a tail when you got dressed this morning?"
Monty picked his head up. "Y'know, I'm really not sure."
"Someone cut holes in my shirt!" Gavin said, flailing scissors around wildly.
"Calm down! I got you, boi," Michael said, holding out his hand for the scissors. "Let's give you a nice punk look."
"Just cut holes for the wings!"
"Well," Monty sighed, wandering to the door. "I have animations to animate."
"Bye Monty," Caleb called, waving.
"Michael! You're going to cut him!" Ray said.
"MICOOL!" Gavin yelled, leaping away.
"For fuck's sake, pull the shirt away if you're gonna cut it!" Lindsay offered.
"I know how to cut shit," Michael replied.
"YOU'RE GONNA NICK MY FEATHERS!"
"Oh wait, I'm going to try to use my claws," Michael said, tensing the muscles in his hand, revealing the tips of claws from his fingertips. "Holy fuck, it's working!"
"Yeah, but how sharp are they?" Caleb asked. Michael responded by slicing down the length of Gavin's hoodie in one go, using his thumb and pinkie to make both wing holes at once. "Oh, well, damn."
"That sharp," Michael bragged, flexing his claws in and out. "Shove them wings through, Gavvy!"
Gavin carefully extended his wings one at a time through the holes in his shirt. "I guess this means I can take my tail out, too." He slightly lowered the waistline on his pants to let his tail out.
"Gavin, don't you always say that a bird is a chick?" Lindsay asked.
"Don't say it!"
"Lindsay, chicks are in fact baby birds," Ray said.
"Gav, you're a bird!" Michael said.
"Yes, this has been well established by the wings and all."
"A lady bird!"
"Lindsay's the only bird here, in that meaning.
"Excuse me," Lindsay cut in, "I'm a cute-ass puppy dog."
"Gavin, don't you have to go work on RvB?" Ray asked.
"Well, since everyone's showing up now, I guess I don't."
"We should do a Let's Play in an animal game," Michael commented.
"CAN SOMEONE HELP ME THROUGH THE DOOR?" Barbara could be heard yelling.
"I got it," Lindsay said. "You idiots record AHWU. We have a schedule to halfway keep." Lindsay strolled out the door towards the main entrance to Stage5. "Oh, shit Barbara, you're like a deer."
"I didn't think this through at all." Barbara had horns growing out the top of her head, and she tried to walk through the door head-on. She was currently resting her head by the horns on either side of the door. "And I'm a caribou. Lady deer don't have horns."
"Well, you could go through the door...sideways."
"Lindsay, you're top dog!" Barbara said, perking up with the suggestion and pun. She turned her head to the side and walked through. "Let's not talk about this."
"Save it for the podcast," Lindsay said, and went back to AH. "Why aren't you recording AHWU?"
"Decided to wait until the others get here," Ray said.
"Barbara get in alright?" Michael asked.
"She got her head stuck and made a pun."
"So...Is that a yes?"
"It wasn't too TERRIBOU!" Barbara jumped in and said, then ran away.
"She was waiting for that, wasn't she?" Caleb commented.
"Hi, guys," Jack said, and plodded over to his chair.
"You don't look to different, Jack," Gavin said. "What are you?"
Jack cleared his throat and let out a loud roar, revealing long fangs in his mouth. "A lion."
"It's the circle OF LIIIIIFE!" Ray sang.
"I will eat you."
"Alright, I'm gonna shut up now."
"Jack that was fuckin' LOUD!" Michael complained, ears flattened to his head.
"That was the whole point."
"It's a bird!" Gavin squealed, and ran out the door.
"Dog alert! Caleb, c'mon! Let us greet our canine sibling!" Lindsay yelled, and dragged Caleb behind her.
"So," Ray said, "any bets on what Geoff and Ryan are going to be?"
"A fish and a fox," Jack answered.
"What?" Michael laughed. "That doesn't make any sense."
"Yeah it does, Ryan's a sly fox mad king guy, and Geoff breathes alcohol in liquid form like fish breathe water."
"Your logic is flawless," Ray complimented.
