Definitely Maybe
A Naruto FanFiction by That.Other.Boleyn.Girl
Summary:
Naruto. Sasuke. One night, one school, one secret... and one year to win a bet. Let the games begin. SasuNaruSasu
A/N: Oh, I cannot begin to say how much I love you all for your reviews! Thank-you so much! I just want to address a few things before I get onto the Chapter:
Firstly, I've had a lot of people commenting on how they didn't expect this story to 'go down this path', or something like that – meaning they were expecting a typical high-school fic, instead of what I currently have concocted. Hmm. I don't know – I've always been one for plot, and, well, the high-school type stories just seem to drift along too much for me. (No offense, anyone!) Do you guys think my Summary is too ambiguous? Maybe I should make it a bit more explicit the direction the story is going?
A lot of people have also asked me to get a bit more SasuNaru in. I know, I know, that's what we're all here for, right? But I'm not really a fan of the throw-them-in-a-room-and-have-them-shag-each-other kind of story; it seems... too shallow, you know what I mean? So I have to have the history and the background and the plotline. And if Naruto seems a bit cool towards Sasuke at the moment, it's because his Mum's just died and it's kind of Sasuke's fault... A bit difficult to fall immediately in love in those sorts of circumstances! So I'm taking it a bit more slowly, enjoying the ride, knowing that every little clash and argument is drawing them closer inside (but they just don't know it yet). Patience, people. Real life doesn't go so fast.
Also, I'm in the process of planning a new fic called Requiem: the Summary is on my Profile Page. Please check it out! The actual story's not there yet; I'm working on it. Story debut will be sometime in May. Please don't hesitate to tell me what you think!
Thanks! Please don't forget to review!
Chapter 7: Gaara Sabaku
The sky is bright, the sun treacherously high. I stand by the coffin as it slowly drifts downward, my eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses, my hands clasped in front of me. Up ahead, black crows squaw and cackle, tossing rubbish scraps to each other with their glossy beaks. Tsunade stands a little way behind me, Jiraiya – sober for once – silent by her side. Above me, Jacarandas sway with deliberate lethargy, casting a lavender light over the fresh white tombstone and the damp black earth. There's a soft bump; the coffin stops; I close my eyes.
"Naruto."
"I know," I say quietly.
The first hand of earth lands with a hollow thud on the coffin's lid. I swallow as the remaining earth is filled, keeping my eyes on the tombstone.
Kushina Uzumaki
(1969-2008)
A loving daughter. A loving wife. A loving mother.
"Don't worry, Mum," I whisper, moving to run my fingers over the smooth stone. "I'll find who did this to you. I'll find them. I promise."
As I turn, something catches my eye.
A head of red hair; some distance away, hidden amongst the Jacaranda trees. I frown slightly, squinting at the spot – it's hard to see it clearly in the dappled shadows of the Jacarandas, despite its colour. After a moment, the head shifts, and I catch a face: unrecognisable from this distance, but my heart skips a beat as my mind registers who it must be.
Gaara.
What does he want...?
Before I can give it any more thought, Tsunade is there by my side, a reassuring hand on my shoulder. Her perceptive eyes seek out my face, but she chooses not to comment.
"Take your time, alright, Naruto? Stay as long as you want. Don't worry about us. Jiraiya and I will be waiting at the car."
"I'm taking a ride with Sakura to my house," I say, still staring uncertainly into the Jacarandas. "I just... want to take one last look at it before someone else moves in next week."
She knows something's going on: Tsunade has the instincts of a lynx. For a moment she frowns, trying to read me; then she sighs, tucks an errant strand of pale blonde hair behind her ear. Her expression is surprisingly resigned – surprising, because I've never known Tsunade to back down without a fight.
"Fine. You have the keys, right? We'll be back at the apartment then. I need to put some of those new brocade curtains up."
"Ha," says Jiraiya, suddenly appearing at her side. "You said I. I need to put some curtains up. Therefore, you won't need me. I'm going to Cloud Nine to –"
"Oh shut up, you," Tsunade barks, and shoves him away. "You're not going anywhere. Get in the car. Now."
When they've gone – when the coffin is fully buried – I send another glance to the Jacaranda trees, but the shock of red hair is gone. Trying my best to pass it off as a hallucination, I crouch and give myself up to the memory of my mother.
Unsurprisingly, I decide to take a walk amongst the Jacarandas. My curiosity is worse than a cat's: it's gotten me into trouble before, but I've never been one to learn from mistakes. The sun is lower now and feels strangely warm on my face. The crows have taken their debates elsewhere; the silence roars in my ears. I pick my way slowly between the trees, occasionally trailing my fingers along a trunk, feeling the knobbly bark – still damp with dew – on my skin.
I'm about halfway through the cemetery, with crosses and tombstones on either side, when I hear my name.
"Naruto."
"Gaara."
I turn, and there he is. Pale skin, almost luminous in the mottled light; heavy eyes, but the gaze is shockingly light, the icy green fierce yet strangely dispassionate. His hair is darker than I remembered it, but the light shifts and I can't be sure either way. The bold strokes of Kanji – love, I recognise it from my Japanese lessons – a tattoo, just left of his forehead. In this light, it reminds me of a dark snake, twisting in inky knots over the smooth skin.
A familiar fear stirs in my chest but I push it down, attempting indifference. It doesn't work. I might as well be a goose trying to pass off as a Rhode Island Red.
"What do you want –"
He moves so fast I don't even have time to draw a startled breath. His hand finds the collar of my suit jacket and he shoves me, roughly, against a nearby Jacaranda, knocking the air from my lungs. The next moment he's right there, his lips inches from mine, his bright green eyes staring straight at me. My eloquence leaves me in a fevered rush.
"Wha – the fuck – get off –"
"You left."
"I – what –"
"Why did you leave?"
He kisses me; his lips are as cold as his eyes, smothering me. I choke, shoving at his chest. He bites me at that, angrily, drawing blood. I still immediately and he laughs softly against my mouth, his tongue flicking over my warm blood.
"There's no-one here to protect you now, Naruto. No-one to pull you away before my questions are answered. And they will be answered."
"Fuck off," I gasp, fighting for my breath.
"What do you mean? You came to me. I didn't force you to do anything. You came here of your own free will."
"I came here for my mother's funeral," I bite out forcefully. "Not for you."
To my shock, he pulls away. I take the unforeseen opportunity to fill my lungs again, swiping a hand across my bleeding lip to stop the blood. Wouldn't want to stain a hired suit. Tsunade would kill me.
"What do you mean, your mother's funeral? Your mother's dead?"
"No," I say. My fear fuels my anger, making my voice come out steadier than I'd anticipated. "She's alive. This is just a dress rehearsal. For next year."
"Don't fuck around with me," he hisses, shoving me again.
"That's what everyone else said, but it's a bit too late for that, don't you think?" I hiss back before I can stop myself.
His fist connects with my cheek and I gasp at the sharp pain, rebellious tears stinging the backs of my eyes. My sight is spinning like a badly-made top. I thrash out wildly with an arm – or is it a leg? – but there's no momentum behind it and he dodges easily, grabbing my jacket and lobbing me against another tree. He follows the thrust and is there before I've even drawn a breath.
"You were never good at this, Naruto."
The words rasp past my ear, grating along my neck. He punctuates them with another punch, but I've seen it coming and my arm raises in a feeble attempt to block him. He hits my forearm instead; I bite back a cry, letting my bone take the hit. He doesn't flinch but takes instant advantage, pinning my arm above my head.
"Any more, Naruto? You got any more moves you want to make on me?"
"Shut your mouth." My words come out low and husky, hindered by my blood. "Last time I looked, you were the one making moves on me. Or have you forgotten that already?"
His gaze skewers me against the tree; no point worrying about the suit now, my mind babbles uselessly. Tsunade is going to have more to deal with than just blood stains.
"I ask the questions," he growls. I can taste his breath on my lips. "Not you. Me."
I laugh, leaning heavily on the contempt. "Go ahead then, Gaara. But are you sure you don't want to load me up with truth serum before we start? Just in case?"
He snarls, and for a split second I'm scared absolutely shitless. He looks like he's about to tear my intestines out, and I know him well enough not to dismiss the possibility. His eyes blaze a hellish green and I hold my breath.
"Why did you leave?"
"You need to ask that?" I say. I'm pushing it; I know I am. But I can't help it. Adrenaline makes me reckless.
"Answer. Now."
"We moved," I lie. "We moved to Chapel Hill. Two months ago."
"Why."
"The contract expired. We had to rent a new house –"
"Don't lie to me." He shakes me; hard. "I don't need to put up with this bullshit. I can make you talk, Naruto. Don't push me."
"Why the fuck do you care?" I gnash out from between clenched teeth. "Move on. Find some other asshole stupid and naive enough to fall for your crap and screw them instead. I have a girlfriend, Gaara. I'm not yours anymore."
"You don't understand," he whispers, his tone low. "It's not that."
I'm tired of all this: first Sasuke, then Mum, now Gaara. What is it with everyone not telling me what's going on until I bash them about the head for a week or so? I'm right at the centre of everything – and no-one's telling me anything voluntarily. Everything's my fault; I can't do anything right; but no-one's going to tell me what the fuck I'm doing wrong in the first place. The bottled-up frustration erupts, overruling over my fear and venting right out past my lips.
"It's not what, you retard?!"
To my surprise, he actually ignores my insult. "It's not what you think."
"What's not what I think? What do I think, even? What the fuck is going on here?! Tell me, Gaara. Now. Or else, I swear to God, I..."
"I have to protect you."
The frayed edges of my nerves all gather at that, and my dazed mind finally manages to focus. "Protect me? From who?"
"From the Akatsuki."
I almost stamp in agitation. "The Akatsuki? The Akatsuki? Who the fuck are they? The dickheads you bought cocaine off last weekend? Who? Why won't anyone just give me a straight answer for once?"
"I don't do cocaine," he sniffs. "I do heroin."
I stare at him, stifling the ridiculous urge to laugh. This must be a dream. It has to be. My life cannot be this fucked up in reality. It was fine two months ago. And now...
"Who are they, Gaara."
"They're the ones who killed your mother. And they want to kill you."
He shoves off me; my mind's not right at the moment, so I forget to stand properly and slide down the tree instead.
"Kill me? Why me? What did I do?"
He sends me one last significant look, his eyes almost seeming to frost over. As he goes, my eyes follow him with the disorganised flicker of the drunk or severely wounded. His movements are fluid, catlike; despite the fight, he looks exactly the same as when I'd first seen him. His voice is soft as it drifts back toward me on the Summer breeze.
"Stay away from Sasuke, Naruto. If you want to live until your eighteenth birthday."
"Oh my God, Naruto!!"
She's out of the car before I can stop her. I hold up a hand to ward her off, but she misunderstands the gesture and snatches my fingers, pulling them toward her.
"Oh God, you're bleeding! Oh my God! I'll call an ambulance!"
"No!"
I manage to grab her around the waist before she's gone two steps, her movement jerking us both a good metre or so, straight into the side of her car. The impact hurts. A lot.
"Ow!"
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, are you okay?! Oh my God. Oh my God. Where does it hurt, baby? Tell me where. Where does it hurt?"
I've never really understood how, in women's minds, an injured male equals a small toddler, and hence must be spoken to as such. Or at least, that's how Sakura functions. In her mind, I inevitably get younger every time I get hurt.
"I'm fine, Sakura, really. I just... fell over." At her disbelieving stare, I add a hasty, "Into a ditch."
"Into a ditch. Ha ha, Naruto. Good one. Now tell me: does that hurt?"
I answer with a yelp of pain and she coos at me for half a minute, dabbing her sleeve across my lip. It's embarrassing to be cosseted like this in public – we're right across from a park and a young family on a tartan picnic rug is staring at us with their mouths hanging open – and I mumble some incoherent excuses, trying to pull away.
"Don't move, I've stopped the bleeding. There. I'll get you to the hospital, okay? Here. I'll open the car door for you."
(Because I've obviously just lost both my arms to a ditch and can't do so myself.)
"I'm fine," I insist mulishly. "I don't need to go to hospital. Really."
She slams the car door on me and crosses to the driver's seat, sliding into it. She almost reaches across to fasten my seatbelt for me, but I've anticipated that and done it myself.
She smiles instead and starts the car. It's then that I know I'm in deep shit.
We don't even get past the Toowong roundabout before the storm breaks.
"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING, NARUTO?! YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE, NARUTO UZUMAKI, OR ELSE I SWEAR I WILL –"
"I fell," I persist, but without any hope. "I did; this, uh, cut on my lip here was from a cat that –"
"DON'T LIE TO ME!! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO LIE TO ME!!"
I wince. That would have taken out at least my left eardrum. At least.
"I'm not –"
"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED I AM ABOUT YOU?! HOW WORRIED ALL OF US ARE?! AND NOW YOU GO AND GET YOURSELF INTO A FIGHT AND COME BACK ALL BLOODY AND –"
"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" I say. "And it wasn't a fight. Really."
Her response is a sharp, furious wrench on the steering wheel, sending us straight into a line of traffic. For a second I'm convinced we're about to dent the front of her Mercedes into a bus but she brakes just in time, nearly sending me into the dashboard.
By the time I've recovered, she's breathing heavily and staring out of the windscreen like a robot.
"I am sorry, Sakura. I've shut you out the past couple of days and... I'm sorry."
She turns to me; her eyes are wet. "No, Naruto, you're right. I'm just being selfish, and I shouldn't be like that. It's just... I'm worried about you. Really worried. Kiba, Ino, Chouji, Neji – we're all worried."
"I know. But you don't need to be – I'm holding up okay."
"No you're not!" she blurts out. "I mean, well, yes, okay, maybe you are. But yesterday at school you didn't speak to anyone – not even to Kiba, not really – and you spent the whole time brooding and staring at that Sasiko –"
" – Sasuke," I correct automatically.
"Sasuke, Sasiko, close enough. Point is, you wouldn't stop staring at him. All during Maths, Neji said; you were on him like a hawk."
Is it true? Was I really staring at him? I can't even remember. Not consciously staring, at any rate. Neji's just weird; reading too much into things. He tends to do that sometimes.
"Neji said that?" I say indignantly. "I did not stare at him, Sakura, don't believe crap like that –"
"Neji wouldn't lie to me," she says. "Kiba wouldn't lie to me. You skipped Form with that Sasuke, didn't you? For a whole hour?"
"Yes," I admit, "But it's not what you think –"
"I thought Gaara would have taught you to stay away from people like that, Naruto."
I don't say anything. I can't say anything. My throat feels raw, like someone's just taken to it with a carrot grater.
"I understand how you feel, alright? You're a good person inside, you can't bear to see others unhappy. You're drawn to unhappiness. I know that. That's what lead you to Gaara – you're too sympathetic, you can't stand watching others in their loneliness without helping them. I understand that, Naruto."
"It's not like that," I whisper weakly, without a shred of conviction. "I don't –"
"It's the same with Sasuke, isn't it? He's alone; he quite obviously has problems; he needs sorting out. But that doesn't mean you need to do the sorting out for him, Naruto. You've got your own life to live. You don't need to dive into other people's problems for them, they have to learn to do it themselves. It's their problems, and it's their fault."
"You're wrong," I say quietly. "Sasuke has problems; but they're not his fault."
She glances at me, taking the next turn slowly. There's a slight pause.
"What did you talk about for the whole hour you were with him yesterday, Naruto? A whole hour."
I prop my elbow up against the window and stare at my reflection in the side mirror. How could I ever tell her? About sitting in the car on her kerbside, about starting the car, about the car door yanking open and a boy, a boy with black hair and cold eyes, getting in as if it was something he did every second day; about the call from my mother, her voice choking out my name...
I couldn't. I couldn't be so selfish and drag her into this mess.
"Nothing much," I mumble.
But even now, I can still see Sasuke's smile: even as I drift my eyes over my own face in the car mirror, I can see his superimposed upon it like a translucent image, fading at places but solid in others. His eyes are the most prominent: dark, swirling, hard. The way his entire face transforms when he smiles – like Winter melting into a transitory Spring – it's there, right there, and the tangles of his world are so palpable I can almost reach out beyond Sakura's car window and touch them.
"Naruto?"
"Are we there yet?"
Her green eyes, so much softer than Gaara's, waver slightly. I've hurt her; but I don't know how.
"No," she whispers, turning back to the road. "We're not there yet."
A/N: So the cracks start to appear... Okay, no huge Author's Note here. Considering I've already used up my quota at the beginning of this Chapter. Not a long Chapter today; it'll be longer next time. I promise.
EDIT SasuNaru coming up – if not next Chapter, then the one after.
Review! Review! Now! (Do it... Haha!)
That.Other.Boleyn.Girl
