Day 13
So you think you can tell… heaven from hell? Blue skies from pain?
Can you tell a green field, from cold steel rail? A smile from a vail, do you think you can tell.
Her hands felt shaky. Every bone in her body felt like a its power was zapped from it in a violent manner. Not exactly a far cry from what was actually happening to her anyway. She had been writing lyrics all day yesterday and all day today.
It was probably close to at least noon now. Ruby had since lost track of the time, she could only keep track of the days since Yamada keeps coming down once a day with food and water. He hadn't come down yet today, so she figured it was still pretty early, yet at the same time it felt so late in the day for whatever reason.
There was no way to tell if there was sunlight out or not from down here. So maybe she just woke up early today and just didn't know it.
Ruby set her pen down as she couldn't just keep writing anymore. She rolled around in her bed and curled up, huddling to herself for comfort. It was nothing more than a waiting game at this point. Wait for this man to return to her, check her work then in all likelihood, beat her.
That seemed to be the general consensus here.
I hope sis is doing okay. She thought to herself. I hope they didn't forget me. But what if they did?
She was worried about that for some reason.
They couldn't have forgotten me. I was so integral to Aqours. Right? I was one of the only people at Uranohoshi. Certainly everyone knows I'm gone. But what if…
She was suddenly worried that maybe it has been longer than she thought, and that maybe when she got drugged up, more time passed than actually did. She didn't know it was only just the night, but she didn't know that.
Maybe I should just… let him kill me… or maybe… kill him? She wondered. I should kill him. Make him suffer.
As her thoughts began to wonder into that territory again, the door to the room opened again. Ruby quickly looked up to see that Yamada was coming in again. This time he brought a green duffle bag.
"Morning Ruby." he said in a meritorious tone.
Ruby scowled at the man.
"Don't give me that look now." He set the large bag down next to her as he pulled up the milkcrate on the floor. Ruby had been using it as a but of a nightstand, but clearly it was meant to be a chair. "Now I got a couple things for you today. But first, the book."
He gestured for Ruby to hand him the notebook. Ruby hesitantly handed him the notebook with her words on it. He took the book and started to inspect it, flipping through pages.
Ruby clenched her fists, gritted her teeth, and prepared to be at the very least slapped. A couple of seconds went by before he said anything.
"You know Ruby, some of this doesn't seem quite right." he told her as he opened to another page with lyrics on it. She relaxed for a second when she realized he wasn't doing anything yet. "Some of this seems like either gibberish or the lyrics to an already existing song. And some of this." he paused as he read on. "Some of this just looks like hate speech."
He tossed the book off to the side in what seemed like frustration to Ruby. She went back into turtle panic mode before being greeted by something different. His hand on her shoulder.
"But it is an improvement. I think give it a week, and you'll have all those thoughts rolled together into one cohesive song, right?" he consoled her.
Ruby looked him into his eyes as she slowly started to go into full blown panic mode again. Was he being genuine or was he trying to lure her into a false sense of hope. She couldn't tell anymore.
"Come on Ruby, relax." he dug into his pocket with his free hand and gave her what looked like a chocolate bar. "Here, it's a homemade brownie bar."
"The last time I ate something you gave me-"
"I know. I know, I'm sorry. But eat, you need it."
She took the candy bar and opened it. It was a decent sized bar. It was made of brownie and probably cookies, covered in chocolate and M&Ms. She slowly started to eat the bar as he gently patted her head like a dog.
Ruby finished the bar as he went for his duffle bag. "Now onto business." he said to her. He opened the bag up and pulled out a couple bowls of food. They seemed to have soup in them. "Are your clothes machine wash, or dry clean?"
Ruby took one of the bowls and stared into it. She didn't want to eat it, but the hunger was driving her insane. She needed to eat. She didn't even hear him ask her that question.
He shook her arm around. "Hey are your clothes Machine wash or Dry Clean only?"
"Uh, dry clean. I think. Yeah." she looked back to the food. It was extremely alluring to her.
Yamada noticed her. "You should eat it you know. You need the strength."
Ruby slowly grew angry at that. She clenched the bowl tightly in rage. "No."
"With that attitude." he told her as he placed his hand onto the top of her head. "It will get you killed."
She sure knew what he meant, unfortunately. She opened up the lid of the bowl and smelled what was probably ramen mixed with extra vegetables.
She didn't want to eat it, but she ultimately had no real choice anymore. It was either eat, or perish. She took the fork that was taped to the lid and began to chow down faster than she ever thought she could.
Yamada took his hand off of her as she ate. He waited until she managed to finish both of the bowls in under a couple minutes. When she was done, she set the bowls down neatly next to her mattress.
"Well, you looked hungry…"
"Fuck you." she grumbled.
"Temper Ruby." he got close to her. "Don't want to have my hand slip now." he threatened her again. He slowly returned to sitting on his milkcrate. "Now Ruby. I need you to take off all your clothes."
Ruby suddenly went red in anger and embarrassment. "What?"
"I need you to strip Ruby." he told her again.
"Why?" She got defensive again. He opened up the bag and showed there was a fresh set if clothes in there. A set if jogging pants and a olive green shirt.
"I need you to strip and put those on. I'm getting your clothes washed." he told her. "Why do you think I was asking you if your clothes were dry clean or machine wash."
Ruby realized that's all he wanted, but why couldn't he just have done that some other time. "No." She refused.
He stood up as he cracked his knuckles. The sounds of his bones popping suddenly got her to change her mind as she reached for her waistband.
"Okay, okay. Wait." she gently slid her skirt off and set the aside. She then reached under her shirt and pulled it off, hoping he wouldn't just lose patience and rip it off of her. She took her clothes and set them down next her, leaving her in just her underwear.
She tried to cover herself the best she could (not like there was much to hide, but still.) She had never been this cold in her life. Not once. Maybe it was just the terror of doing this that made her cold. Either way, she just wanted her clothes. He felt his eyes staring her down.
He set the duffle bag down next to her as she quickly took the clothes out of the bag. She slid the shirt and pants on as fast as she could. She then put her old uniform into the duffle bag and handed him the bag.
"Good girl." he turned and headed for the door. "I'll be checking up on your progress next week. Have a song ready by then." He told her as he exited the room. He slammed the door shut behind him as he left. Once again Ruby was on her own, accompanied by nothing but her own ever darkening thoughts.
She picked her book up and looked through most of the lyrics in them. Maybe she had accidently just started writing down the lyrics to an already existing song instead of coming up with something new. She sighed a depressed sigh as she tried to start writing again, but couldn't. She turned to a fresh page and decided it was time for another diary entry.
Maybe he won't hurt me. Maybe he's being sincere. I hope he is. I was expecting him to hit me, or punish me in some way, but no. He didn't.
I finally ate something, i don't feel as bad as i did before, but i can't help but feel like that was a bad thing. Why can't i eat food and accept it now? Why did the chocolate bar not taste as good as thought it was. I'm certain it was great but… somehow it felt wrong to be eating it, especially coming from him.
She let out a defeated sigh as she decided to do something different.
Sis. If you ever get around to reading this… i love you so much. I miss you guys, along with mom and dad. Hanamaru, even Yoshiko. Someday i'll be free. Someday i can come home again.
…
Dia sat with her mother in the mall, she held a cup of some kind of coffee, probably some Starbucks type drink. It had everything she liked in it. Some kinda Caramel, cinnamon, and nutmeg frappuccino, mixed with her own special vanilla flavoring she brought from home, all sprinkled with sugar (i have no idea what this is, i just made it up on the go. Someone should make this IRL and tell me how it is.) Dia didn't have a coffee, she had a science experiment just waiting to make the Hulk.
Her mother sat right in front of her at their table. She was eating the simplest form or mall food. A pretzel. Dia's face was plastered with depression. She was having a hard time enjoying her drink with everything that's been going on. Even on her mother's face showed a less than happy expression. Her smile was clearly fake, and extremely forced. But she attempted, if only slightly, to keep herself positive, at least for Dia's sake. This was the 2nd in what would inevitably be a few week campaign to get Dia happy again, or at least get her to stop blaming herself for what happened to Ruby.
A fruitless effort so far, but the older woman wasn't going to give up on her daughter. Not yet. She said it herself, so long as she can do something about at least one of her daughters, she was goddamned going to.
Dia stared blankly into the distance. Everyone else in the mall was just enjoying their time off of work, or school. Meanwhile the only thing running through her head was Ruby. It was extremely distracting. "Dia?" Her mother tried to get her attention.
"Hmm?" She looked up to see her mom was trying to give her a piece of her pretzel. A good sized piece, covered in salt and cheese. "No." She sighed as she went back to staring out to the nothingness.
Her mother sighed, really more of a groan than anything, at her daughter. "Dia, come on. At least try to take your mind off her. At least long enough to enjoy a pretzel."
Dia snatched the pretzel and ate it at the speed of the wind. After she gobbled down the snack she sighed as she began to just drink down the coffee creation.
"Dia, I think we should get you to a doctor." her mother told her solemnly. "Maybe see a therapist, or a psychiatrist. I hate seeing you like this."
Dia's head flopped down onto the table. An audible groan came from her as she replied. "I don't need their help, nor do I want it." she paused. "I just want Ruby back but… nothing's going to bring her back…"
"Dia. Don't lose hope on finding her. She'll come home soon enough." she told her, trying to comfort her. She pulled out her phone as she began to Google psychologists and other similar professions. She wasn't going to let her daughter fall into this state. Not completely the way she was.
After a few moments of searching, she looked back to her daughter. Dia was crying on the table. She wasn't audibly bawling, but the typical sound light whimpering. She reached over and lightly tapped Dia on the cheek.
She lifted her head to confirm her mother's thoughts. Dia's eyes were pretty red already, wet with tears. Dia tried to wipe the look from her face to no avail. Her mother reached into her purse and pulled out a small white orange bottle with a white cap.
"Here. Take one of these." she told her as she handed her. Her tone of voice indicated she didn't want to do that. "It's been keeping me from looking like you right now. I think it'll help you too."
"What is it?" Dia asked.
"Prescription Grade Prozac." she told her handing her the drug.
Dia looked at it for a moment. She was contemplating taking it, since it might help her. She took the drug from her mother's hands and swallowed them whole, without the use of her coffee. She drank her coffee afterwards to wash down the taste of dry swallowing pills.
"Feel better?" her mom asked her.
Dia sighed. "Not yet."
Her mother reached over and hugged her. "I hope it does."
Day 20
Ruby sat on her mattress. Her new clothes have been holding out pretty well since she got them. Probably the only saving grace about anything from the past few weeks was these clothes were comfortable.
Since last week, nothing had changed for her. She was still in the basement, and she was still starved for food. At least now she was eating the food, maybe not a lot, but she was eating them at least.
She was scribbling in her notebook, trying to figure out how she was going to organize the notebook so she had a coherent song for the Live. She had all this time to have a song down for the Live, and she couldn't get anything written down though. It was merely a bunch of incoherent words.
She knew what was coming if she didn't do what she was told right fucking now, but it was that same stress that was keeping her from doing this. she tried again, to rearrange the words to be coherent, but no luck. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't. She knew her sister wouldn't want her to, and she knew if she did, then her captor wins.
All of that suddenly came to halt as the sounds of the door opening echoed through the room. She flinched as she looked to the door.
Times up
She felt her blood pump faster and harder than it never has before. She didn't have anything prepared and it was finally here. Like a deer in the headlights.
Yamada came down first, and with him came a couple of other people carrying what looked like regular lawn chairs. Probably a low budget show.
"So this is the cute little Ruby huh?" A raspy female voice said, setting her chair down. "Looks like a cave rat to me." she said as she suddenly closed the gap between herself and Ruby.
She looked like a crazy person, her hair was black, but she had a stripe of pink in it. She also wore what looked to be knock off BDU's.
"Well aren't you just the cutest now?" she harassed her.
"Yuuka, calm down, we don't need her all worked up before the Live thing." Another voice called from behind them. He sounded more like Steven Ogg. As he walked closer, he even looked like him too, crazy looking eyes and a disgusting looking mustache.
"Alright fine." she said as she let go of Ruby.
As soon as her hands were free, she cowered away from the unholy woman before her. She grabbed her book and cowered away as far back as she could get while the 3 of them got comfortable in the room chatting.
Yamada was waiting. "Okay Ruby. Sorry I couldn't get your clothes ready, the cleaners were a little busy this week." he apologized to Ruby. He turned to his guests and began. "Okay Yuuka. Hideyoshi. I present to you my little idol. Ruby Kurosawa."
Ruby was pulled to her feet by Yamada as he tried to show her off. She just stood there, unable to speak in front of these people. She stuttered around with noises trying to come up with something to say, but couldn't. She opened up her book and looked at it. A thousand words, with no substance.
She suddenly dropped the book out of anxiety and she fumbled around trying to pick it back up. After every attempt, it fell down again. She couldn't even stand up anymore.
Yuuka groaned. "Fuckin A Ranger. You said she was one of them singing idols from the TV. Not the shy girl down the block."
Even Hideyoshi seemed unimpressed. "You know, I was expecting her to do something… at all."
"No no, she will." Yamada told them. "Ruby I told you to be ready by today haven't i?"
Yuuka got up from her chair. "Well. I guess if she's not gonna do anything, then it's time for us to bounce. Get back to work." she said stretching her arms. She wandered close to her, inspecting her. "That being said she is cute as fuck." she said touching her all over.
Ruby panicked. "Let go of me!" she said as she tried to shake her off.
"Wow. She's even got some fight in her." she laughed as she began to feel her shoulders. "She's weak and petite." she then started groping different parts of her that she could.
Ruby did whatever possible to fight her off.
"Yuuka, that's enough." Yamada told her.
"Fuck no it ain't. I like her nice soft A-cups." she said grabbing a handful of Ruby's nonexistent chest. However it was suddenly stopped by Yamada grabbing her by the wrists and pulling her aside.
"I said enough. She's not one of your whores."
"Their not whores, they're sex workers… who I get the money from." she smiled. "And don't fuckin touch me Ranger. You know I don't like that."
"Don't matter. I said don't touch her like that."
"Yeah you're right. Only you can. She's all yours isn't she?" Yuuka said as she began heading back to the door. Yamada watched as she left and looked to Hideyoshi, who seemed to be eating a sandwich he brought with him.
"You know Yamada. I think you should probably consider having her do something next time." he told him as he followed behind the previous guest.
Yamada sighed as the two left. He looked down to Ruby's face. "What the fuck Ruby?" he asked her.
Everything just happened so suddenly, she couldn't follow what was happening. One minute her room was empty, the next she had people in here expecting a live, and now she was getting stared down by Yamada. She stuttered trying to come up with something to say.
"What, what i,i.i.i.i."
Without warning, she was lifted into the air and off her feet by her neck. Yamada held her up high. "I'm gonna set you down now. You're going to tell me why you don't have ANYTHING ready today when I told you to be ready."
He dropped her down as she stumbled around. Ruby tried to get to her feet. "I'm sorry, I'm. I'm. I don't have an answer…"
He got down to his knee and looked her in the face. He calmly started talking to her. "Its okay Ruby. Its okay, i understand. I invited my friends over for a little show, they came all this way to see you and you don't want to perform."
"No that's not it-"
"No no, I understand fully." He calmly told her. "Its fine. They'll just come back in a few weeks again you know? Then you can redeem yourself… but that still means you need to be punished."
She cried because she knew what was coming. "Please don't."
"I'm sorry Ruby."
Suddenly she got a fateful of something she hadn't expected. A sudden burning sensation. She brought both her hands to her face. It felt like some kind of gel was stuck to her face, burning her eyes and skin, everywhere it touched.
She screamed in agony as she rolled around on the floor. It just occurred to her he just pepper sprayed her. She felt like tearing her skin out as she rolled around like she was on fire.
"3 days no food." Yamada told her as he left.
Ruby cried out for her sister as she felt her face begin to melt. Her screams could have been heard for miles. It felt like her skin was burning for hours, like every pore in her skin suddenly caught fire.
She couldn't handle it as she began to break down again. 3 whole days without food were coming. What just happened? She thought to herself as she couldn't feel anything. She tried opening her eyes, but found it made it immensely worse. At the same time keeping them closed made it feel worse.
As time past her face slowly stopped burning, hours passed, and she was once again crying. She bawled her eyes out. All she could think about was her big sister. Dia was the only thing keeping her sane anymore.
One day. she'll see her again.
Right?
