Chapter 6 – Becoming Friends
-Brian-
I look over at Justin sitting on one of the stools in the kitchen. "He left today?"
"Yeah, he took the first flight to Seattle." He puts a spoon of ice-cream in his mouth and looks at me. I wonder if he's doing it on purpose. "He said that since you're going to go out there to meet everyone, it wasn't necessary to come here before going away."
"Ok." I nod and put on my shirt and then look back at Justin. "What do you think?"
He gulps and licks his lips and not for the first time, I wonder why in the hell we are pretending that nothing ever happened.
"That you will fuck everyone that you want."
"Really?" I ask before I can stop myself and he quickly gets up from the stool.
"I'm going to go now."
"Where?"
"Home."
"Why?"
He shrugs and I sigh. "Come with me?" He tilts his head to the side and bites down on his lower lip. He is always so fucking sexy...
"So we could find someone to fuck and drink ourselves into unconsciousness with?"
I laugh and nod. "Ok, I'll go get change and I will meet you at Babylon?"
"Sure. I will be at the bar or on the dance floor or..."
He smirks. "In the backroom?"
"Yeah."
He walks over to me and hugs me for a moment. "Later," he whispers before going out of the loft. It's so much harder than I thought...
-Justin-
It's been almost a week since Brian found out about Dad and he seems calm. I don't know if he went to talk with his parents or not, but at least he seemed ok enough with me and Anthony, to agree to come to Seattle in March. We have spent last couple of days together, talking and getting to know each other. Well, Ant and Brian talked the most because Ant was going away today.
I look over at Brian when he asks me what I think about his outfit. It's not like I haven't been staring at him out of the corner or my eye for the last twenty minutes, but fortunately, he didn't notice.
I gulp and lick my lips and I see his eyes following my moves. "That you will fuck everyone that you want." I came here today because I didn't want to be alone in Dad's loft and we ended up eating ice-cream until Brian went to take a shower and started getting ready to go clubbing.
"Really?" he asks and I get up from the stool.
"I'm going to go now." I grab my jacket and walk over to the loft's door.
"Where?"
"Home."
"Why?"
I shrug and he sighs. "Come with me?" Yeah what's a better way to spend the night than seeing the man you want to fuck who you should see as a brother, getting his needs meet by thousands of other men?
"So we could find someone to fuck and drink ourselves into unconsciousness with?" I ask smiling.
He laughs and nods.
"Ok, I'll go get change and I will meet you at Babylon?" I ask while I'm opening the door.
"Sure. I will be at the bar or on the dance floor or..."
I smirk. "In the backroom?"
"Yeah."
I walk over to him and quickly hug him. "Later," I say before going out. As soon as I'm standing in the cold air I take a deep breath, willing myself to calm down. When I'm around him, I feel like I'm a fucking virgin. When I have his hands on me, I feel like I've never been touched before... it's so fucking frustrating. I start to walk down Fuller headed home.
-Brian-
I feel a pair of eyes on me and I turn around finding Justin with a big smile on his face. He's wearing a pair of black jeans and a blue see-through shirt that has half of its buttons undone.
"Hey," he greets me, grabbing my beer and taking a sip from it.
"Hey little Bro." He smirks and for a moment we look into each other's eyes and I can feel myself starting to get hard. I turn again towards the bartender. "Another two beers, Andy," I ask.
"So, where are your friends?" Justin asks me looking around, seeming unconscious to all the stares that he's getting.
"They're here somewhere."
He smiles at me. "I want to meet Emmett, he seems funny from what you have told me."
"He's something else," I hand him his beer and we clink them together before starting to drink. Justin puts the beer down after a few seconds and looks towards the dance floor once again. "When I was in college, I fucked a lot, but then I got distracted."
I laugh. "You were a businessman."
"I still am, but I promised Mom that I'll have fun and find someone that will make me happy," he shakes his head. "I don't really think that there is someone out there that is going to tie me down. I can't see myself that way... maybe when I'm older..." he tilts his head backwards and looks at me. "Like when I'm as old as you."
"You shit."
"See," he smiles radiantly. "You are getting in the game of being a brother. Now, I'll go find someone to fuck, but if your friends come here, come get me. I want to meet them." And he disappears in the sea of dancing people.
It's been a strange week, the one that has just ended. I got to know Anthony better and after we saw Edward's video, it made me wonder about Justin. The way he talked with him. I asked Ant if he was his favorite and he told me, "Dad didn't have a favorite, or at least so he said, but if I have to be honest, Justin was definitely his favorite. Mostly because he wanted to do what Dad was doing and not 'coz it was imposed to him, but because Dad was his hero." In that moment, I got just how hurt he must have been when Edward died. Even if Ant said that he didn't cry or at least not when someone else was around. I must say that I took the news better than I thought and I don't know why, but just to know that I wasn't Jack Kinney's son was the best news I have ever had. I know that I will have to go to see Joan, but now just doesn't seem like the right moment.
I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn around finding Michael. "Hey Mikey."
"Brian. Who was the hot blond you were talking to?" He asks while ordering two beers for him and Jason, who is walking towards us.
"He's..."
"The one you fucked and couldn't forget?" Jason asks smirking.
"Yeah and my brother."
They look stunned at me then in the same moment exclaim, "WHAT!"
"It's a long story... wait a second he wants to meet you," I leave them at the bar and quickly scan the dance floor. When I don't see him, I go to the back room and what I see there, makes the breath catch in my throat.
-Justin-
I push hard inside the trick's ass and lean my forehead between his shoulders blades.
"That's... the greatest... God... fuck... ever," he says breathlessly and I smile against his salty skin.
"Glad I haven't lost my touch." I push inside him once again and then tilt my head back and when I open my eyes, I see Brian standing there a couple of feet away from me. I close my eyes tightly and keep pushing in and out of the trick and quickly take us both to climax. I pull out and discard the condom and pull up my jeans.
"Thanks, man," he says and reaches out grabbing the back of my head and pulling me towards him. I kiss him, trying not to think about Brian standing so close. I suddenly feel a pair of strong hands on my hips and a hot breath on my neck. I can feel myself starting to get harder all over again. "I came to get you," Brian whispers in my ear and I pull back from both the trick's lips and Brian's hands and clear my throat.
"Thanks."
I start to walk towards the entrance of the back room and a hand grabs my wrist. "Can we do this again?"
I shake my head. "No, sorry," I say and walk out, feeling Brian following me. "Did you enjoy the show?" I ask and I hate the tone that I suddenly have in my voice. I stop and look over at Brian. "Sorry it's just that..."
"I wasn't behaving looking at you at your back?"
I sigh and look away. "I overreacted."
"Like that morning..."
"Brian."
"Yeah I know, you asked not to talk about that night. Sorry. So, Michael and his husband are here. C'mon," he takes my hand and pulls me towards the bar where his friends are standing. "Guys, this is Justin and this is Michael and Jason." I extend my hand towards the two shocked men.
"What did he tell you?" I ask them smiling.
"Nothing," Mikey quickly replies shaking my hand. "I'm Michael."
"It's great to meet you."
"And I'm Jason, the husband."
"Nice to meet you, Jason the husband." He smiles at me and shakes my hand.
"Well now, after the introductions, why don't we drink something?" Brian suggests. I quickly nod and wave to the bartender.
**************************
"C'mon, take off your jacket and shoes," I say as I pull my jacket off and go in the kitchen to grab a bottle of water for Brian. When I get back in the living room, I don't see him. "Brian?"
"Here" he shouts back from the bedroom.
"What are you doing here?" I ask him when I find him stretched out on the bed.
"I'm fucking tired."
"You drank too much." I put the bottle down on the nightstand and then brush away the hair from his forehead. "Yep, you're drunk."
He grabs my hand and pulls me down. "Brian..."
"Can I sleep here tonight?"
I sigh. "Sure, but let me go now." He releases my hand and I stand up and quickly pull away his jacket and shoes and then lift the sheets and duvet and pull them over him. I watch Brian's face for an instant and then leave the room to go lock the door and shut off the lights. When I get back in the bedroom, Brian is sleeping, so I quickly take off my clothes and put on a pair of pajamas and slide under the covers. I turn on my side, facing away from Brian and shuts off the light.
"Have you ever slept with Anthony?" I'm asked suddenly. I turn around and find Brian with his eyes open staring at me.
"Yeah, lots of time, if you mean just sleep."
He sighs. "Tell me about it."
"Now? You are half asleep."
"Just one story."
"Ok... well..." I try thinking about something from when Anthony and I were little. "Ok. It's from when we were boy scouts."
Brian laughs. "You were boy scouts?"
"Sure. Anyway, once we went to Forks for a trip and it was the coolest week ever. We went onto the reservation and had to share our sleeping bags with the other kids so I slept with Ant. Those nights were great. We stayed up until late hearing Quileute Indian stories."
"Whose was the sleeping bag?"
I laugh. "Mine. Ant said that since his was bigger because he's taller, it was best to share his and not mine so I lent mine a Quileute boy. The truth is that Ant is pretty selfish sometimes."
I feel Brian sliding closer and I sigh. It's so much harder than I thought. "He doesn't like to share?"
"Nope. Only with me."
"Not even with Allison and Molly?"
"No, we're not close to them."
"How come?"
I shrug and look up at the ceiling. "When Mom and Dad had Allison, me and Ant were ten and when they had Molly, we were twelve. Too many years between us I guess. When they were little we used to babysit them and play with them like big brothers, but when we left for college, they were eight and six. Since we went in different cities studying, once we came back, they were way too big to be interested in their big brothers. Plus, I left Seattle for Europe not long after I've finished college, so we never really bonded."
"So it has always been just you and Ant?"
"Yeah..." I sigh and close my eyes. "Almost always..."
-Brian-
Feeling his heat so close to me, it almost physically hurts that I cannot touch him. I hear a sad tone to his voice. "What do you mean?"
"I always thought of Anthony as my brother, but..."
"He didn't?"
"Nope. While we were in our first year of high school, he started hanging out with other people and I didn't want to go out with them because I didn't want Anthony to feel forced to be always with me since we were brothers. So I made new friends. Anyway, when people in school started saying that I was gay, they started making fun of Anthony as well and he told them that I wasn't his real brother, but that his Dad adopted me because he took pity. God, I was so immature at that time. I didn't speak to him for two years."
He turns his back to me and I see his white skin almost glowing in the semi-darkness. "You weren't immature, Justin. He was your family and he didn't accept you."
"You know what it's like?" he quietly asks.
"Yeah my father... Jack… he was an asshole. He used to hit me and Joan never said anything. Guess it was because they both knew that I wasn't his."
"I'm sorry. I wish Dad found out about you before, when you were little. You're just five years older. It would have been cool having a big brother."
I laugh. "Yeah."
After a few minutes of silence, he whispers, "Night Brian," in the quite room and it feels awkwardly relieving to hear it. "When did it change?" I suddenly ask.
"What?"
"With Anthony. Why did you forgive him after two years?"
"That's another story, but to say it in a few words, it changed when we became real brothers," he puts his head under the pillow and sighs.
"Night Justin," I whisper and turn my back to him.
*********************
"So, I was thinking, your company is so close to mine that we could have lunch together or breakfast," I suggest while I'm shaving in the bathroom and he's dressing in the bedroom.
"Sure," he answers from the other room.
"Great."
This day is getting stranger and stranger. I woke up at Justin's, in Justin's bed, with Justin held tightly in my arms and it felt great. Then he woke up and asked me if I remembered what he told me last night and when I said yes, he barely nodded and then started to gradually pull away. Then we went to the Diner and I introduced him to Debbie, Ted and Emmett and when I told them that he's not really my brother, he seemed hurt, but it's not like I did it to hurt him. I did it because they know that we fucked. Now I just dropped him off and he just said, "Well, see you at lunch," and he left.
"Hey Boss," Cynthia greets me, just like every day.
"Morning Cyn. Look, Justin should come here at lunch. As soon as he arrives, tell me."
"Ok."
-Justin-
I know that I was the one who wanted to share things with him and that I told him to ask me everything, but I never told anyone about what happened with Anthony. When we started getting distant and then he told me those things, I never told Dad and we tried to act like everything was ok when we were at home. Now, telling Brian, it felt like I opened an old wound and I hate to feel vulnerable and I hate that I'm putting Brian in the middle of it.
I push aside the fries with my fork and sigh. "Want to tell me what's wrong?" He asks; even though there is the fact that he still doesn't consider me as his brother.
"Nothing's wrong," I tell him. I look up briefly and I catch Brian's gaze and hold it. "Ok. I have problems at work with my assistant. She's a bitch." Brian laughs and puts down his coffee. "I'm serious. She's like 70 and she was Dad's assistant. She doesn't like that I fired Ryder to come to Kinnetic..."
"You fired Ryder?"
"They were doing a for shit campaign."
"Yep, they're awful since I went away."
"You worked there?"
"Yeah. So, what else is wrong with her?"
"She thinks that I'm where I am just because of who my dad was. I mean, for fuck's sake, Dad wouldn't have left the company to someone without experience and she looks at me like I am a little kid playing in Dad's office. It's fucking frustrating."
I take a bite from my hamburger and wait for Brian's reply, but he just looks at me amused. "What?"
"Find a new one."
"I can't. She's already retiring, but I'm waiting for a fucking replacement."
"Ok and what else is wrong?"
"Nothing."
He rolls his eyes. "C'mon, you've been pulling away all morning."
"It's nothing, really." I take a sip from my coffee and look over to the door when I hear the bell ringing. "I have never told anyone about what happened with Anthony and he was the only one knowing how hard it had been for me growing up. I mean, when people find out about me being adopted, they look differently at me and Ant and I hate it. It still hurts, but I am able to get over it because they are not my family. But when it happened with Ant..." I trail off for a second and then look into Brian's eyes. "He was my brother for me, has always been and I felt like I was being betrayed that time, but it was a long time ago. Talking with you about it made it feel closer and I just need some time to regroup." I try to smile at him, but Brian just holds my gaze.
"Anthony told me about how you've been hurt in the past because of Dad."
"Yeah I don't really like talking about it."
"Then we won't talk about it," he tells me smiling.
"Thanks." I smile up at him. "So, how was your day Bro?"
-Brian-
It's three weeks later when I find myself on my floor eating Chinese food with Justin. It's Friday so we decided to have dinner together and then we will head to Babylon.
"So, do you have a new assistant now?" I pick some rolls up with my chopsticks while Justin nods. "How's she?"
He smirks. "What makes you think that I hired a woman?"
"Well you had a woman..." I mumble.
"Relax, you don't have to be jealous," he says laughing. "It's a French guy and I've had French men before. So not my type!"
"I'm not jealous, but what happens if he tries to fuck you and blackmail you?"
He laughs again and I frown. "Well, thanks a lot for making fun of my concern."
"So you do care!" He shakes his head. "He won't fuck me because he's not even gay."
"He's French!" I spat.
"So?"
"So they're... they're all bi."
"Where the hell did you hear that?" He asks stunned and then starts laughing again. "I'll have you know that I've been in France and they're not all bi."
"Whatever," I stand up and grab all the empty containers. "You finished?"
Justin gets up as well and starts to help me. "C'mon Brian..."
"I was just trying to do what Anthony asked me."
"Of course," he turns his back to me and goes to grab his jacket. "I've finished, you ready?" he asks without glancing towards me.
"Justin..." He stops with his hand on the handle of the loft's door.
"What?"
"I didn't mean that I was just doing what Anthony asked."
"It's okay."
"You always say that it's ok even when it's not."
"Yeah so?"
"Never mind. I'll go grab my jacket." I turn my back to him and walk in the bedroom to pick up my leather jacket from the closet. When I turn around, Justin is standing a couple of feet away.
"I'm sorry. Sometimes I overreact. It's just... I hate when you act like you don't care in the least about me. I don't know why, but it happens."
"Promise me that you won't hurt. I'm an asshole most of the times and I can't watch everything I say..."
He nods. "And you promise me that you won't ever treat me like I'm no one to you," he requests and I know that he's afraid I won't ever see him as a part of the family or that now that Ant has a real brother, he won't matter to anyone anymore. "I promise," I tell him and he nods.
He smirks. "Let's go fuck someone now." Sometimes I can't believe how fucking much I like him. I smile and nod. "Let's go."
****************************
"So, Justin, are you like Brian?" We both look at Ted confused.
"What do you mean?" Jus asks.
"Like a bit of a slut."
I glare at him, but Justin laughs. "Yep. Let's say that I took some time off, but now I'm back to my wicked ways."
Mikey shakes his head. "Where is the husband?" I ask him.
"He's bringing his best friend here. He was arriving today with a late flight from San Francisco."
I see Justin walking away to the dance floor, following a tall dark man that I know is a top and that I know will begging Justin to fuck him in five minutes. I wonder how he does it. He gets everyone to let him fuck them. For what I saw, I've been the only one that fucked him in the last two months and since he told me that I was the first one after a long time, I guess that I've been the only one since a lot of time.
"Hey there you are," I hear Mikey say and look at Jason and at the guy standing at his left.
"Sorry, I'm late. Guys this is Ben Bruckner. My best friend and Ben this is Ted, Emmett and Brian." He looks over my shoulder and frowns. "Where's Justin?"
"Back room," I tell him.
"I'm right here," I hear Justin's voice replying from my side.
"Where did you go? I thought you were off fucking."
"Nope, I'll go in a while. I just needed to use the bathroom," he extends his hand and takes my beer.
"Buy your own."
"You don't buy yours," he says smirking.
"Jus," Jason interrupts. In the last month Jason and Justin started to become good friends and I'm trying to decide if I'm ok with it or not. "This is Ben, my best friend."
It takes me a second to understand that Ben wants Justin. When their hands meet half way, Ben holds it a little longer than necessary and gives a way too gentle smile to Justin. "It's a pleasure. Jay has been talking about you for weeks now. He finally found someone that reads good books."
Justin laughs. "I've heard about you too. You're a professor. It's something interesting."
"I'm sure, wanna dance little Bro?" I don't wait for his answer, but take his hand and pull him behind me on the dance floor. We quickly find our rhythm as always. "What was that all about?" he asks looking up at me and I shrug.
"Nothing."
"C'mon, tell me."
"I don't like him." He laughs and I pinch his side. "Shut up!"
"What you mean you don't like him? Are you suddenly starting to act like the big brother? Do you want to check everyone I talk with too?"
"Why every time I show some worry for you do you become an asshole?"
He shrugs. "I'm not used to someone looking after me this way. I've always been pretty independent, but it's cute when you go all protective on me and I can't help but tease you about it."
I roll my eyes. "This is one of the times when I hate having a little brother."
He smirks and stands up on his tiptoes to kiss me on the cheek. "At least you're starting to look at me like a brother. I was almost losing hope," he takes a step back and puts his fingers in the waistband of the jeans of a guy that was dancing next to us. He was waiting to see who was going to fuck him first between me and Justin. "Now, I'll go have some hot sex." He turns around, disappearing through the dancing men.
Like a brother... yeah sure...
**********************
"Are we always going to end up like this?" I look up at Justin while taking off his shoes. "Once you are the one too drunk and once it's me?"
"You're wasted."
He sighs. "Probably." I took off his jeans and he starts laughing.
"What?"
"Ben would love to be doing what you're doing."
"I don't find it funny." I turn my back to him and go into the bathroom to change. Ben has kept an eye on Justin all night. When he disappeared in the backroom, Ben looked like someone had slapped him.
"But I'm not interested," I hear Justin's voice coming from the bedroom. "He's Jason's best friend and it's not a good idea."
When I walk back in the bedroom, Justin is lying curled up around a pillow and seeing him once again in my bed, kind of makes me feel funny. I need to get a fucking grip over my emotions. Facing away from him, I lift the duvet and slide under the cover. A second later, I feel Justin grabbing my hand and putting it in his hair. "Can you feel it?"
For a few seconds I don't understand what he's talking about, but then, while I'm brushing my fingers close to his temple, I feel a long scar at least two inches. "What happened?"
"It's the reason why I forgave Ant." He turns around and looks up at me and I'm glad that we are in the darkness. "When I was in the third year of high school, I started seeing a boy from the swimming team…Timothy." His name is like a caress out of Justin's mouth. "He was the greatest boyfriend you could possibly want. We got together during the summer because I used to go to the swimming pool with my best friend and he was always there practicing. When September arrived, I thought that he was going to act like a jerk, but he didn't. He came out to the team and they were ok with it because they needed Tim to win. Anyway, one afternoon, around February, Mom and Dad were away with Ally and Molly so I was alone at home with Anthony. I called Timothy over and we went ice-skating on a little lake close to home. While we were there, I tripped and hit my head on the ice. I was conscious for a while because I remember Tim screaming and rushing over to me repeating over and over again that I wasn't going to do that to him and then he was gone. I laid there for a while just staring up at the sky because moving hurt. Next thing I knew, Ant and Tim were standing there pale as the ice. They called the ambulance right away but then I lost consciousness and I woke up in the hospital. Tim was there with Dad and they told me that I had been out for a week and that I had needed a transfusion. I have a rare type of blood so they didn't have the one I needed in the hospital. Luckily, Ant has the same type as mine, so he donated. He saved my life, just like Tim had calling him right after I had fallen. When Ant came to see me two days later, he told me that now we were real brothers, bonded by blood and that he was sorry for what he had done and said. It was then that things changed." We stay in silence for several minutes and next thing I know, I'm hugging him so tightly that he laughs and asks me to let him go. "You wanted to know and now you do. Just, don't freak out. It was a long time ago."
"You could have died," and when the words leave my mouth, I truly understand just how true they are. "You could have died," I repeat and then Justin's hand is on my cheek caressing it gently.
"Yeah, but I'm ok. I'm here," and I can see his smile in the darkness and I feel the need to kiss him and hold him, more than ever before. He seems to sense it so quickly takes his hand away. "Tim was so fucking scared to leave me out of his sight after that, that he was my boyfriend until the end of high school. He even came to my prom. It was awesome. It was me, Tim and Ant. We spent the last two years and half of high school together and Ant ditched his old friends."
"Sounds like you had fun."
"Yep. I have a lot of stories to tell you about the Incredible Three." He turns his back to me and sighs. "Guess that now you can say to know me pretty well."
"I'm glad," I whisper and I'm not even sure that he hears me. Several minutes go by in silence and then he quietly says, "When you come home with me in spring, I'm going to introduce you to Tim. He's my best friend now and the only boyfriend I ever had." He then buries his head under the pillow, making clear that he doesn't want to talk anymore.
I see his sleeping form in the darkness of the loft, and I have to resist the urge to pull him close to me and never let go. I wish I were this Tim, to know what Justin's like when he's carefree, when he can pull you to him and kiss the breath out of you and when he lets you know every inch of his body night after night.
