A/N: As always, thanks for reading!
"What did Dumbledore say?" Remus asked. Harry was asleep in his cot, he had spent much of the day chasing a house elf around their bedroom, to which Sirius had been confined until the end of the week, until things could be thought through properly, and was now considerably worn out. The house elf in question, an energetic little creature called Bobbin, had found it all very entertaining, and had promised to visit Harry the next day, with Dumbledore's permission.
"Not much." Sirius barely looked up, he hadn't met his friend's gaze in hours, not wanting to see the disappointment in his face. It wasn't that Remus wanted to be disappointed, but he couldn't help worrying about Harry, no one was supposed to know he was in the castle, after all, and Hogwarts was the safest place for him as long as no one knew he was there. "He was talking about the funerals. Lily and James'."
"When will they be?" Remus walked towards the bed, sitting beside his friend he lifted his hand, as though to pat Sirius' shoulder, but he appeared to have thought better of it because he slid his hand inside the pocket of his robes instead.
"Saturday." Sirius lifted his gaze from the floor to stare at the photo of Lily and James that Harry had attempted to steal earlier that day. They were smiling at him from the picture, happy, laughing. They were waving at him, not knowing that the light was gone from his eyes, not knowing he was plagued with nightmares, not knowing that their only son, an orphan before he had reached his second birthday, was lying feet away, sleeping soundly, blissfully unaware of all the pain. He turned the picture away, it hurt to look at them, instead he glanced at Remus, not speaking, not moving, just looking. Remus forced a smile onto his face; he had been lost in his own thoughts, hiding within his own nostalgia, fighting his own pain.
It was a while before either of them spoke, Sirius' throat had felt dry for some time, and when his voice filled the room it was hoarse, and pained with emotion. "I've been dreaming about them."
"I thought you had." Sirius didn't ask why Remus thought that, just nodded. Wondering if Remus had the same nightmares, wondering if he shared that pain. But he didn't ask, it seemed such a personal thing that asking seemed unfair. They sat in silence for a long while; they seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. Remus rose to his feet and Harry stirred slightly in his cot, but he didn't wake. "Will we take him to the funeral?"
"I don't know." It was an honest answer. It was something he had been considering since Dumbledore had asked him, hours ago, and yet he had yet to make a decision one way or the other. He was sure a funeral was no place for a toddler, but Harry needed a chance to say goodbye, even if he didn't understand. But would James and Lily have wanted him there? He was their only child, their little light, they both adored him and would have wanted to say goodbye to him, he knew that, but was this the right way? Sirius looked up at Remus. "Would James have taken him?"
"What?"
"If he was alive."
"If he was alive then we wouldn't be having this discussion." Another silence filled the room. Both men were surprised at what Remus had said. Sirius returned his gaze to the floor and for a long while the only sound that could be heard was Harry's shallow breathing. Sirius felt his friend's eyes on him and lifted his head slightly. Remus smiled slightly. "If it was up to James, I think Harry would be there."
No more was said on the matter, Remus left shortly afterwards and Sirius was once again unsure what to do with himself. He watched Harry for a while and then resigned himself to his need for sleep. It took a while but eventually he drifted off.
It wasn't long before the nightmare came, even in his subconscious state he knew it would, James approached him, looking just as he had in life, but his expression the same as it had been when Sirius found him, his eyes out of focus, the life gone from them. He rounded on Sirius, getting closer and closer. Sirius was rooted to the spot, he couldn't move. James called out to him. Help. He didn't move. He didn't help. Lily's screams filled his ears.
He sat bolt upright, awake and in a cold sweat. He rose from the bed, shivering as the night air hit his bare skin. He contemplated transforming into a dog, his emotions were lesser when he wasn't in human form, and though he had rarely slept as a dog, he expected he wouldn't be able to dream, and if he couldn't dream then James' face couldn't haunt him, if he couldn't dream he wouldn't hear Lily's screams, he wouldn't have to wake to the sound of her cry, but he knew he couldn't. Harry wouldn't understand if he woke and saw he was alone, not in a room he wasn't quite used to yet. Sirius sighed and walked to the door, intending to wake Remus, talking things over, see if it helped any. He opened the door, checked Harry was still sleeping and crossed the hallway, thinking about the possibility of obtaining a potion for a dreamless sleep, he knew such a thing existed, but then he remembered who the potions professor was, he didn't trust Snape not swap it for poison.
He put a hand on Remus' doorknob, but stopped when he heard a sound from within. He leaned closer, not wanting to eavesdrop but not wanting to leave Remus if he needed him. He heard a loud scream. A scream he'd heard before; it was Remus. During their third year, after a particularly painful transformation, Remus had had nightmares for weeks, each night he had woken his roommates screaming. Each night they'd sat up with him, talking, playing games, laughing and joking. The nightmares were always pushed to the back of their minds. Until the next night.
He stepped back, realising the doorknob. Remus had been glad of the company when he was thirteen, but he was a grown man now, and might not take as kindly to it, there was a chance he'd been considerably embarrassed, despite knowing Sirius himself was struggling with nightmares. He stared at the door for a few more minutes, unsure what to do. After a while he heard Remus' voice. "It's alright Padfoot, you can come in."
He opened the door and walked in, looking slightly bemused. "How did you know I was there?"
"You're about as quiet as charging a Hippogriff with bells on." Sirius laughed and sat on the end of his friend's bed. Remus made to get up. Sirius looked confused. "We'd better go to your room; we can't leave Harry for too long." He paused as he looked for a dressing gown, once he had pulled it on he smiled at his friend once again. "Have you still got those exploding snap cards…?"
