The following chapter is dedicated to TamaraJagellovsk – a faithful reader and fellow Sg1 writer (check out her stories). She is a speech therapist and kindly helped me with the medical part of this chapter as I don't have a clue about anything medical! Thanks Tamara – you're amazing!

"Teal'c."

"Daniel Jackson." The former Jaffa nodded to his friend as the younger man placed his tray on the table and sat down. "Have you heard any news?"

"No", Daniel sighed. "Janet keeps saying he's doing as well as can be expected. I ask you, what the hell does that mean? Expected by whom, for what?"

"She is doing everything she can Daniel. I am sure that when she has more news she will share it with us."

"Maybe", Daniel answered morosely, stirring his coffee. "But she can't tell us too much anyway. That's 'confidential' information", Daniel said, making air quotes with his fingers. "How the hell are we supposed to help him if we don't even know what's wrong."

"We do know what is wrong. O'Neill was tortured by the Goa'uld Raijin for many months. We need to be here for him, to show him we are his friends and that we know he will vanquish this enemy like he has all his others."

"Yeah right. I don't know why you're so upbeat Teal'c. I heard he was afraid of you when you went into his room."

The Jaffa didn't say anything, he simply looked down at the table in front of him. "Yes, that is true", he finally said quietly.

"Aw geeze – I'm sorry Teal'c. I'm feeling miserable and I don't mean to take it out on you. He doesn't want to see me either."

"How do you know?"

"Because Janet and Dr. Warner both said he's more comfortable with women. He feels less threatened by them so only Sam gets to see him."

Teal'c nodded. "That is understandable", he said, although it was obvious to his friend that Teal'c was hurting. Daniel understood the feeling. He felt so useless. They needed to do something to help Jack.

"He'll come around, I'm sure of it. Once he feels a bit less frightened of everything that's happening we can go in and see him. I'm sure he'll remember us then and he'll be glad to see us."

"That is possible", Teal'c nodded, but the usually confident man sounded less than sure.

"In the meantime we have to do something", Daniel suddenly said, pushing his coffee away and watching as it spilled over the top of his cup. "I'm going to go crazy if I just sit around here and wait."

"Indeed", Teal'c agreed.

The two men remained silent for the next few minutes, each lost in his own thoughts. In different ways O'Neill had saved each of the two of them and had become the brother neither had had – a brother that sometimes drove them crazy, but one who was loved dearly nonetheless.

Daniel sighed and reached for his coffee, again stirring it as he thought about what they could do. "Hey, I have an idea", he sat up straight and dropped his spoon. "Didn't Janet agree that it would be good for Jack to be in a pleasant environment?"

"She did", Teal'c nodded.

"Well then, let's get permission from the General to go to Jack's house and bring some of his things. I bet he'd be more comfortable if we surrounded him with things he recognized."

Teal'c thought for a moment. "I believe that is a good idea. If you speak with the General I shall discuss this with Dr. Frasier."

Less than an hour later the two were on their way to Jack's house to pick up some of his things. Janet had agreed that it might help.

"So, where do we start?" Daniel asked as he looked around Jack's living room.

"I shall retrieve some of O'Neill's night clothes. I am sure he would prefer to wear his own pajamas and robe. I shall also bring his pillow and bed cover."

"Uh – I think he's got Sam's", Daniel told him hesitatingly.

"Then Major Carter can use his." Without saying more Teal'c turned and headed towards O'Neill's bedroom.

Daniel glanced around the room, wondering what to bring. With a shrug he put down the bags he'd brought from the base and began to collect a few items.

"Shall I bring this Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c appeared in the doorway to the living room, a photo in his hand. It was the picture of Charlie O'Neill that sat on Jack's nightstand.

"Uh – why don't we take it with us, but let's not put it where he can see it for now. I don't know if he even remembers Charlie and I don't think he needs anymore painful memories right now."

Teal'c nodded and returned to the bedroom. A few minutes later he came out with one of the Colonel's suitcases. "I do not believe O'Neill would mind if we used this", he said to Daniel.

"Huh? Oh, no, I'm sure he wouldn't. Do you have everything?"

Teal'c bowed his head and watched as Daniel collected a few more things. "There, I think that's good."

"Indeed. It will be difficult to place all of these objects in O'Neill's room."

"Yeah", Daniel looked at the pile of stuff. "For now we can keep anything that doesn't fit in his office. That way we can change it out every few days."


"Daniel?" Janet looked up from her chart and spoke as the archaeologist approached her desk. "What can I do for you?"

"Uh well, Teal'c and I just got back with a few of Jack's things. When do you think we should put them in his room."

She pursed her lips for a moment, deep in thought. "Why don't you do it when he's sleeping? I can check to see how he's doing right now and if he's asleep you can put everything out. What all did you get?"

Daniel grimaced slightly. "Uh, recognize the expression everything but the kitchen sink?"

"Daniel, you didn't", she laughed.

"Well yes – but we thought we'd only put a few things out. We can add something each day or change things out. That might help bring him back."

Janet sighed, although she smiled at the same time. "It's going to take more that seeing a few of his things", she held up her hand when Daniel went to argue. "I'm not saying that it's not a good thing. In fact I think it's great. But it's going to be one of many different things that will help the Colonel come back to us."

"I know Janet. But – it's the only thing Teal'c and I can think of to do."

Janet realized how much both men were suffering and wished there was something more she could do to help. But she really didn't know how or if, Jack was going to get out of this. In the meantime all she could do was focus on him and do what was best for him.

"How is O'Neill doing?" Teal'c asked suddenly. It was the first he'd spoken to her since he'd arrived with Daniel.

Janet sighed and combed her fingers through her hair. "He's calmer than he was when we brought him back yesterday", she said. "He seems to know that no one is trying to hurt him. But he still hasn't spoken and he won't look at anybody. He has started to respond to direct requests so we know he understands, although he doesn't seem to respond to anything else. It's hard to know how much he gets and how much he just does by instinct."

"You think he's suffered – uh brain damage?" Daniel asked, although it was obvious he didn't want to.

"I don't know Daniel. This may be a symptom of PTSD or it may be something physiological. One thing that makes it hard is that he still isn't talking."

"Does he make sounds?"Teal'c abruptly asked.

"Make sounds?" the Doctor asked, sounding puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"Most people will verbalize, even if they do not speak. It is not uncommon for Goa'uld masters to demand their slaves not speak in their presence but if hurt or startled they would make sounds. It is almost impossible to suppress that instinct."

"Oh my God", Janet looked at him startled. "I didn't look. Dr. Warner and I just assumed that he wasn't speaking because he'd been conditioned that way. But you're saying he may not be able to speak because of something physiological, not psychological?"

"Teal'c, have you heard of a Goa'uld who did something like this – I mean do something to permanently take away someone's voice?"

"I have not", Teal'c answered. "But that does not mean it could not happen. The System Lords often experimented with new ways to torture their subjects.

Janet stood quickly, practically knocking her chair back, and strode out into the hall towards the Colonel's room.

"Janet", Daniel called. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to see if I can figure this out. We were remiss not to have checked on that at the beginning." She pushed the Colonel's door open and disappeared, leaving the two men in the hallway.

"God, I hope Raijin didn't do something to his vocal chords", Daniel whispered.

"We should expect the worse", his friend told him bluntly. "There is little that would bother O'Neill more than not to be able to speak. He uses his words as a way to protect himself. Raijin would learn this and would use that knowledge to further torture him."

"You know what Teal'c? I really hate that damn Goa'uld."

"As do I Daniel Jackson."


Janet practically burst into the room, which startled not only the nurse on duty, but Sam, who looked up from her seat by the Colonel's bed with wide eyes and a frightened look on her face.

But the person reacting the most was the Colonel himself. He immediately moved into what they'd all come to call his 'safe' position. He rolled on his side and curled up, his knees held by his arms and his head tucked down to rest on his knees.

Crap! Janet wondered what she'd been thinking. "I'm sorry Sir", she said softly. "I didn't mean to startle you." She walked slowly up to the bed. "How are you feeling today Colonel?" She smiled down at Sam and mouthed and 'I'm sorry'. "I really didn't mean to scare you Sir. I just wanted to come and see how you were doing."

It took a few minutes but Jack finally moved to his back and relaxed, although there was always a measure of tension throughout his body. It was as if he had decided to accept things the way they were, for now, but that he knew they were going to change. It saddened everyone to know that he probably still expected to be punished or tortured.

"Has he said anything, or made any sound at all?" Janet softly asked the Major and the nurse.

Both women shook their heads and Janet scowled. Why the hell hadn't she realized? "Sir?" she turned back to the man on the bed. "Can you do me a favor?" She waited until she was sure she had his attention, even though he didn't look at her.

"I need you to make a sound for me. Can you do that? It can be anything – a hum, a moan, anything. I just need to hear your lovely voice."

They all waited, hopefully, but nothing happened. "Colonel? Please, can you try?"

It was Sam who realized. She had leaned closer to him and was watching to see if he'd try and speak, just like he'd tried to squeeze Dr. Warner's hand. But instead of seeing him try to use his voice, she could see the tears trailing down his face.

She reached out and softly touched his cheek, looking over at the Doctor as she did so. "It's okay Sir", she told him gently. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

That was the first time she saw it. The moment she'd said those words his eyes flipped up to hers. It only lasted a brief second, but she'd clearly seen him look at her. What she saw in his eyes – the fear, the despair, the hopelessness, broke her heart.

Taking a deep breath she leaned even closer, her hand still caressing his cheek. "Colonel – don't cry, please. It's okay, we're going to help you. Can you tell me – can you speak? Janet needs to know if she's going to be able to help."

She waited a moment, but when nothing happened, she let out a slow breath. She was about to stand and let Janet know he wasn't answering, when she felt his hand move. She glanced down to the bed and he was again looking for something. She realized almost instantly that he wanted her hand. She quickly took his hand, grasping it gently. A couple of seconds later she felt his hand try and squeeze hers.

She frowned, wondering. "Colonel, are you trying to communicate?" she wondered softly to herself. "Sir? Can you speak?" Nothing happened and she bit her lip. "Did something happen so that you can't speak?"

There! He tried to squeeze her hand again. He must mean yes! "Colonel, if you mean yes, squeeze again." Immediately she felt the faint pressure. "Good. Now if you mean no, don't squeeze." She waited, but nothing happened. She smiled.

"Good for you Colonel", she said softly. She leaned forward and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. "And don't you worry. We're going to figure this out and help you."

She stood up straight, her hand still clutching Jack's. She faced Janet and spoke softly. "Something happened to him – or they did something – and he says he can't speak."

"I suspected as much. Or actually Daniel and Teal'c suspected it. I should have caught it."

"What are you going to do now?"

"Well, I'll have to examine his throat to see what's going on. I'm afraid that's going to be difficult. I can't really imagine the Colonel letting us stick a scope down his throat."

Sam felt the Colonel's hand move and realized he must have heard the doctor. When she looked at him she could see he was tense. She motioned with her head and Janet nodded. "Uh, I think it's about time for the Colonel's meds." She glanced to the nurse who nodded. "I'll leave you be now Colonel", she said directly to the man on the bed. "You're doing great. Just rest now, okay."


Janet found Teal'c and Daniel still outside in the hallway. "You were right. Something happened to him and he's unable to speak."

"What are you going to do?" Daniel asked.

"I'm going to ask the General if we can get a specialist here to examine his throat. From there we'll have to see."

Shortly after that Sam came out of the Colonel's room, needing to stretch and to take a bathroom break. She found the two men seated in the hallway, surrounded by bags and boxes. "What's all this?" she asked with a smile.

"It was our idea", Daniel said. "These are some of his things. We thought we'd bring them and put them in his room."

"That's great. Why don't you go in now? He's sleeping."

For the next twenty minutes Daniel and Teal'c carefully and quietly placed a few items around the room. They couldn't put too much out for now, as there wasn't a lot of room. When he was moved to a regular room they would get more of his things.

"I think that's enough Teal'c," Daniel whispered. He glanced around and smiled. It looked better.

The nurse grinned and gave them a thumbs up and watched as they left. "You certainly have some good friends Colonel", she said softly. She then bent her head back to her chart.


Jack had actually woken up during the stealth operation of his friends. Of course he didn't identify them as friends – for now that concept had completely been written over by his experiences of the past seven months. But for some reason, after his first start of fear upon seeing the Jaffa and the other man, his heart had calmed. He had watched them surreptitiously, his eyes tracking them carefully.

Once they'd left he allowed himself to more openly look at the things they'd brought. For a second he had wondered if they were things that would hurt him, but then felt a jolt of recognition. These weren't bad things at all. In fact, he had a feeling they were very, very good. With a sigh he allowed his eyes to close again, and soon he was sleeping peacefully, a feeling of comfort and familiarity surrounding him.


Nurse Alvarez looked around the room after Dr. Jackson and Teal'c had left and couldn't help but smile. The things in the room – from the hockey jersey tacked to the wall, to the fishing pole and hat leaning in the corner to the pictures of Sg1 scattered around – all gave testament to the man in the bed. "You are quite something Colonel", she said. "And you're going to get better – if your friends have anything to say about it!"


"The only way we're going to be able to examine his throat is by sedating him", Janet was speaking again with the General and Dr. Warner. "We tried to examine him but he was terrified. I wouldn't be surprised if the Goa'uld used something on him that looked similar to our scope", she said. "Although I'm sure with a much different purpose." She tried to stay professional, but every time she thought about the Goa'uld she wanted to swear.

"I agree with Janet Sir", Warner said. "It's the only way we're going to be able to examine him. We can also do another physical on him when he's sedated and check how he's doing. He still finds it extremely stressful to be examined."

Hammond nodded, and let out a long, deep breath. "I arranged for Dr. Raymond Bell, a foremost Otolaryngologist from LA – to come and examine the Colonel."

"Does he have clearance Sir?" Janet asked.

"No, so he'll be accompanied at all times and won't be allowed near the gate room. He's agreed to sign a confidentiality agreement. I've asked Reynolds to stay with him at all times."

"When will he get here?" Warner asked.

"He should be here by tomorrow. In the meantime, how is Colonel O'Neill doing?"

"He's remaining calm, as long as Sam stays with him. He seems to need the connection. Teal'c and Daniel brought some of his things from home and he responded well to that. According to Nurse Alvarez he stared at the various things for quite a while."

"What things?" Hammond asked curiously.

"Uh a Homer Simpson bobble-head for one thing."

The General let out a sudden bark of laughter and within seconds the three people assembled in the room were all laughing uproariously. The door opened a moment later and Walter stuck his head in, worried that something was wrong.

"Uh General?"

"It's – okay – Walter", Hammond gasped. "Everything's fine."

Walter nodded and shut the door, shaking his head. Sometimes he really wondered about officers. He allowed himself a small smile however. The laughter meant something good had happened, and it must be about Colonel O'Neill. Maybe things were looking up.

Eventually Hammond and the two doctors calmed down. It hadn't been that funny but they'd all needed something to take away the darkness that had surrounded them since the Colonel had been restored to them – and even before that, when he was still lost.

"And what about his physical health", the General asked, once the mood again turned serious.

"He's drinking well", Janet said, "which is a good sign, although he still won't use his hands. He needs to gain quite a bit of weight and we're going to start him on solids soon. The bruising is starting to fade and most of the minor infections are clearing up. We're planning to wait until he is physically stronger before we think about scheduling any surgeries. It should also be easier as he becomes more comfortable around everyone. Once he truly believes he's safe again, then it'll be easier to deal with the surgery."

"The good news is his kidneys are starting to function better", Warner said. "I think they're going to be okay and we haven't had any indication of heart problems."

"He may have been put in the sarcophagus at some point during his captivity", Janet said. "We talked about it and feel it may have been responsible for making sure his organs were in perfect condition before any more beatings or torture. Over the last few months he obviously wasn't in a sarcophagus, and there was plenty of harm done to him, but surprisingly not as much internal damage as one would expect."

"I never thought I'd be happy to hear that O'Neill was in a sarcophagus again", Hammond murmured.

"Well, we don't know if he was, but it's one explanation."

"Okay. Well, it sounds like things are as good as we can hope for now. When do you think we should bring in someone to deal with his – psychological injuries?"

Warner and Frasier looked at one another, both in agreement. "Uh, Janet and I feel we should wait a little while", Warner said, to the surprise of the General.

"Is that wise?" Hammond asked.

"Well Sir", Janet said. "We all know what Jack thinks of 'shrinks' and I think the best thing for him right now is for him to be surrounded by the people and things he knows. He needs to feel safe and introducing someone like a psychiatrist or psychologist, who he doesn't know – neither of us think that would be the best thing for the Colonel – at least not right now."

Hammond nodded. "Okay, I'll go along with this for now, but eventually I think the Air Force will demand he see someone."

Janet nodded. "I understand, but just – not now Sir?"

"Fine. Thank you both and keep me informed as to what happens." It was only after both doctors left that Hammond sat back in his chair. His eyes were sad. He hated what war – whether on Earth or in space – did to people. At the same time he couldn't help a small grin. "A Simpson's bobble-head! Only you Jack!"


Both Janet and Dr. Warner watched as Dr. Bell examined the Colonel. Janet had explained to O'Neill that they were going to try and see if they could help his throat get better and that they were going to put him to sleep to do it. He'd looked frightened but eventually had given Sam's hand a slight squeeze. She'd looked up and nodded at Janet.

Dr. Bell wasn't the friendliest or most gregarious man Janet had ever met. In fact she found herself not liking him. But there was no doubt he was good at what he did. She'd looked him up and found out he had a reputation as something of a miracle worker. He'd also done a lot of work with returning vets, so he couldn't be all bad!

She was just glad the Colonel was sleeping because he would have been freaked out by the stern-faced man.

As it was, Janet was ready to scream. The specialist didn't explain anything as he was looking in Jack's throat or reading his charts. He did a lot of humming and nodding, but wasn't giving anything away, so Janet sat in her chair contemplating things she'd like to say to him about his bedside manner.

"I have seen enough", Dr. Bell said. "Nurse, look after your patient. Dr. Frasier, Dr. Warner, shall we go elsewhere and I will explain my findings."

Both doctors jumped up, anxious to hear what the specialist had to say. Janet led them to her office down the hall and gestured for the two men to sit. Colonel Reynolds had waited outside O'Neill's room and followed them to Janet's office, where he again waited outside. Reynolds had been both courteous and professional, but Janet knew the man was dying to know what was going on. She knew that he was a good friend of the Colonel's too.

"It is clear that Colonel O'Neill's vocal chords have been damaged", Dr. Bell said without preamble. "By what it is impossible to say. I have never seen anything quite like it. There is some scarring but the main problem appears to be that both vocal folds are paralyzed. Both sides of the recurrent laryngeal nerve have been damaged. It is almost as if something was put into his throat and caused this to happen, although what it would be I have no idea. Do either of you know what it could have been?"

Both Frasier and Warner looked at him blankly and then shook their heads. "Uh, the Colonel was on a secret mission in enemy territory. He was captured but we don't know exactly what was done to him."

Bell nodded, his lips pursed. "If you ever find out, please let me know. It is very curious."

"And the prognosis?" Janet asked, trying not to sound impatient.

"Well, that is difficult to say. If the damage to the nerve isn't permanent, which it doesn't appear to be, but has only been temporarily paralyzed, it should be possible – with extensive therapy – for the Colonel to get his voice back. In fact, if that is the case he should be able to whisper even now. Of course he may be suffering from a psychogenic dysphonia which is a completely different matter."

"A psychogenic dysphonia?" Janet asked, "You're telling me it's psychological?"

"That's not surprising Janet", Warner said. "He believes he can't talk – or was tortured into not speaking, just the way he was forced not to look at people or use his hands. He may, in fact, be physically able to speak but psychologically can't. If that's the case then he'll need a different kind of therapy."

"I expect it may be a little of both", Bell said, for the first time sounding somewhat sympathetic. "As soon as possible I would begin to encourage him to try to speak. It will be difficult for him, depending how long he has been without a voice. And, with the scarring his voice may never be what it was, but he should be able to vocalize. As soon as he knows he can speak then I would start him with a good speech therapist."

The news wasn't as bad as they'd feared – or as good as they'd hoped, but at least there was hope. Now all they had to do was convince Jack to try and say something. Janet sighed. She wished she knew how in hell to do that. So far, other than holding Sam's hand, he hadn't been willing to do anything.

"Thank you Dr. Bell", she said after a minute, giving the man a smile. She rose when he did and led him to her office door. "We appreciate you coming all the way out here to look at the Colonel. He is a special man."

Dr. Bell nodded, and turned to look at both Janet and Warner. "I have heard of the Colonel and was glad to be able to help. With your permission I will continue to follow his case. I will send you my notes – you will want to give them to a therapist if you decide to use one. I am also happy to come back any time. He has given up too much for his country and deserves the best treatment we can give him."

Suddenly Dr. Frasier's opinion of the specialist changed, and her smile grew warmer. "Thank you!" She watched as Reynolds led him to the surface and then turned to Warner. "I think we have our work cut out for us."

"We do indeed."