Author's Note:
Okay, so for those of you that saw the new episode Saturday, this is for you. For all intents and purposes, the scene in which Conner yells at Dick and Dick tells L'gann and Conner about the plan has not happened yet. That scene will be included in the next chapter. Here, Dick still does not know about M'gann mind-melting Kaldur (I don't remember mentioning it before, so here it is). So, yea! Enjoy! Please review and follow! It makes me write faster!
I was nervous when I walked inside. Part of me was so ready to tell her and part of me was so ready to not have to see the look in her eyes when she realized I lied to her. I had no idea how she would react. What if she hated me for it?
I walked in and she was sitting at the kitchen counter, staring blankly at her communicator in front of her. Her eyes were glazed over, mouth hanging open. She turned her head slowly to me, like a door stuck on its hinges. My mind jumped to the worst again. Someone must have died again. Someone was gone, something happened.
"M'gann got captured. Tigress and Deathstroke kidnapped her and took her onto Manta's ship." Her eyes pierced into me with both hatred and longing. It was sad, she looked so broken. I hadn't noticed it before.
"What?" I said, forgetting about telling her the plan. Why would Manta take her? They wouldn't unless they needed her for something, he wasn't one for random abductions. Even Kaldur had a plan behind it.
"Conner told me." She stood up. "He said that you should call him ASAP. Something about Mg'ann and Kaldur."
"Barbra, wait." She tried to walk past me, putting a hand up to her forehead. "Can we talk?"
"Dick…" She looked back to me, tears brimming at the corners of her eyes. "What is going on? I feel like I am screwing up and I can't take it anymore. I am screwing up this team and everything with you. I just can't do this anymore."
"No Babs it's not like that." I pulled her into my arms soothingly. I brushed my fingers through her hair, letting the heat from her body warm me again. She thought all this was her doing, her fault. No wonder she was so broken inside. "Really it's my fault."
"What?" She looked up, eyes shining in the fluorescent light. She really was incredible. The more I thought about it, the more I regretted having to tell her about this. She wouldn't look at me the same way.
"I have been keeping something from you…" I said hesitating, soaking in the warmth in the few seconds as I held her. I didn't want this moment to end, not ever.
"Like what?" She pulled away, glancing at me nervously. I could see the regret and fear play across her face and my stomach worked itself into a ball. This was it, the point of no return. What would Bilbo Baggins do? Stupid, Bilbo would never have gotten himself in this situation in the first place.
I groaned, savoring the peace before the storm. "Kaldur is a double agent and he never killed Artemis. She is undercover with him as Tigress."
Her face was unreadable. She stood in front of me, still as stone. I tried to open my mouth to explain, but once again I didn't know what to say. She made me speechless as my heart practically ricocheted through my chest.
"What." She said, blinking, eyes emotionless.
"I know it's hard to grasp and you're probably really pissed off. But please, I had to tell you. I had to let you know that Artemis wasn't really dead, you never lost her. And you won't lose me." Apparently that was the wrong phrase to throw in as I watched her entire body explode in anger.
"Are you shitting me?" Her face turned beet red and her eyes burned red with rage. "You single-handedly put me through the worst torture of my life and then fucking tell me the truth because you think it will make me want to be with you?"
"I didn't mean it like that…" Her face grew redder and she grabbed the neared blunt object to her right. Unfortunately for me, that was a heavy book. Not like there was much of a chance of it being something else.
"No, of course not. No, you meant it so you could get in my pants. I can't believe you! You lied to me! You lied to everyone, putting your team in danger! And now, a member of your team is captured and you are here brushing it off!" She hurled the book with all her might and I swerved to the left, hitting the wall, so the book grazed my shoulder.
"Babs, listen. M'gann will be fine with Kaldur. He kidnapped her for a good reason." I tried to explain, her words cutting to the core.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE DEFENDING YOURSELF RIGHT NOW!" She screamed, hurling another book, hitting me square in the ribcage. "Can you even hear yourself right now Grayson? You are PATHETIC! What if I had lied to you about Jason? I..I can't believe you right now."
She sent another book at me, hitting another healing rib. I let out a grunt and saw stars. She really had a good backhand. I heard her bedroom door slam and she mumbled to herself inside as I sat with my back against the wall, hoping to get some support. That Jason comment really had me. She knew I loved Jason, everyone did. Is that what she thought I did? Oh, god she was right, I was a terrible person.
She emerged a few minutes later wearing her costume with her cowl pulled over her head. She shot me an icy glare and walked to the balcony. I didn't even look up. It felt like my entire being was crushed. She effectively broke me, and what's worse was that it was essentially my fault. She didn't break me, I broke me. And I did it by being an awful person.
Before pulling herself up on the roof and into the night, she uttered ten words that tore me apart inside. Ten words that cut into my soul and pulled out any semblance of the person that I thought I was. She tore out the part of me that thought I was a good person. She spat them with as much venom as she could muster, cutting through her tears. "You'd better be gone by the time I get back."
