Heyyy I'm back. Anyway, here you go :)

"Please stop," Barry said, eyes squeezed shut, hiccupping sobs, shaking all over. "Please. I wanna stop. I can't do this. Please, please let me go home, I don't care, please."

"It's OK, Barry, everything's OK," Iris said. Her stomach was churning. She had never seen him this bad, had thought that once they got the Novocain done he would at least settle down a little bit. He was on valium and nitrous, but it only seemed to confuse him, make him a little more disoriented, his speech more jumbled, but then again the assistant kept trying to adjust the mask on his face because Barry kept dislodging it, so maybe the nitrous wasn't all getting into his systems.

"You're already halfway done, Barr," Joe said, hand on his shoulder trying to calm him down. It just made Barry release another sob.

It was taking forever. It was a simple cavity, not even a big one. Iris glanced at the clock again. Every two minutes Barry raised his hand, and the dentist would stop and give him a break and Barry would cry and beg them to let him go home. It was agonizing just to watch, and Iris was starting to think maybe they should just do it, just let him go home and bring him back in another day and have them sedate him because this was awful.

"You said it wouldn't be like this."

Iris closed her eyes.

"I know Barr, you're doing great," Joe said, rubbing his shoulder, wiping another tear off his face.

"You s-said it b-be fine."

Joe's face was pained, but his voice was soft and gentle. "I know, Barr. It's gonna be OK. Just a little longer now. We're gonna let them start again, OK?"

"No." There was another sob, and Barry's grip on her hand tightened drastically. The dentist came forward. Barry was coaxed into opening his mouth. The dentist warned him he was starting the drill, but the sound of it still made him flinch, whole body tensing up. He worked for another two minutes, and then Barry's hand was up and he stopped and Joe sighed.

"Barry, do you think you could go a couple more minutes?"

He shook his head frantically.

"How about we go a couple more minutes, and then you can have a longer break. Sit up for a minute. Have a sip of water."

He shook his head again, a full body shudder racking up his frame.

Joe hesitated. "I think we're gonna let them go just for a couple more minutes, Barry."

Barry's breathing rapidly escalated, and his eyes opened, wide and horrified.

"No," he said, hyperventilating. "No, y-you – I – I get a break – i-if I raise – I'm – I get a break, I'm supposed t-to get a break, that's – that's how it works, you have to let me have a break."

"Shh, OK, OK, Barr," Joe said, backtracking at the sudden, explosive reaction. "OK, you can have a break. It's OK. Just relax." He let him sit for a minute, calm down before continuing. "It's just that this is taking a really long time, Barr, and I know you want it over with. If you can go a bit longer without the breaks it'll be over sooner."

"I wanna go home," Barry whimpered. "I don't wanna finish. Please – please, Joe."

Joe sighed. "You're already too far in, Barry, we have to finish it up today."

And so the cycle continued. Joe and the dentist coaxed him into starting again. Barry raised his hand. They stopped. And Joe couldn't find it in him to make Barry continue in longer stretches, because he was beginning to think that Barry's control over when he got breaks was the only thing keeping him in the chair and not bolting the first chance he got. As it was, he was clearly terrified, and it was awful to watch.

It took an inordinate amount of time, but they finally finished. When the dentist stopped and told them it was done, Barry just blinked and trembled, and then he moved the chair up for him, removed the nitrous, and Barry started crying harder, covering his face. Iris froze, but Joe just smoothed a hand over his back.

"It's alright. It's all done now," he said, and Iris realized Barry was crying because he was relieved, because it was finally over.

Barry got up as soon as the chair was vertical again, and promptly almost fell down, his vision blurring and a wave of dizziness coming over him. They made him sit down in the chair Iris had been in, and then got him to drink some water. He kept insisting he was fine, that he wanted to go back to the car, that he just wanted to leave, but he drank the water and waited a couple minutes until Joe said they could go now.

"Iris," Joe said, speaking softly, and Iris stopped. Barry was already at the door, still shaking. His movements were frantic. He just wanted to get out of there. "I'm going to talk to the dentist for a minute," he said, "can you take Barry out to the car?"

She nodded, and he handed her the keys. Barry looked back, pausing when he realized no one was following him. She smiled, hoping it looked reassuring, and took his hand. They walked out to the car, and she slid in next to him. She didn't say anything, just sat in the middle seat so she was closer, still holding his hand. He trembled, jittery, and just looked awful.

Joe came out about fifteen minutes later. He said a few things when he got there, told Barry he did a great job, and they'd go home now, that everything was alright, and did he want anything? But Barry didn't really respond.

When they stopped at a CVS Iris gave him a questioning look. "Just picking something up," he said, and went inside. He came out in a few minutes with a small pharmacy bag. When they got home, Barry moved in a daze. He wouldn't let go of Iris's hand. She led him to the couch, where they sat down. He was still shaking.

Joe went into the kitchen, and when he came back he was holding a glass of water and a small pill. He held it out to Barry.

"I had the dentist write you another prescription," he said gently, "this one's a little stronger then what you took this morning. It should help you relax, let you sleep some, OK?"

Barry just nodded, taking it rather fast. It worried Joe. He had to be coaxed into taking it that morning, was skeptical of the whole thing the day before.

But Barry was desperate for anything that would make it stop. He felt awful. He thought he was going to throw up, or maybe pass out. He was shaky and terrified and he just wanted it to stop. He curled up on the couch, still holding Iris's hand.

"Do you want to go up to bed, Barry?" Iris asked.

Barry nodded, and she led him upstairs, and he slumped against the headboard as she got onto the bed next to him.

"I don't want to ever do that again," he said slowly. Iris looked over at him. He was still shaking, and there were tears welling up in his eyes again.

"It's OK," she said, but he was already shaking his head.

"I have another," he said, his voice cracking, "I have another cavity, Iris." And then he started crying.

"Hey, it's alright," she said, feeling helpless. "It's OK, Barry. It's going to be OK."

He shook his head. "I can't do that again. Oh, God, please don't make me do th-that again, I can't go through that again, Iris, I c-can't."

"We'll figure something out," she said, "we'll make them give you better medicine. Or maybe they can sedate you. We'll figure it out, Barry, OK?"
"No, I can't do that again. I won't do that again, I don't care. I don't c-care, I'd rather they just pull it out."

"Shh, Barry," she said, and he had his head against her shoulder now, and she was rubbing his arm, still holding his hand where he was gripping tightly.

He was still crying when Joe came up, two mugs of tea in his hands. His face fell as soon as he saw Barry. His gaze met Iris's, and he felt his stomach sink.

"Hey, Barr," he said, setting the mugs down next to him.

"Please don't make me do that again," Barry said, his voice thin, looking up at him, eyes red and tear stains across his face. "I can't do that again, please, I can't, that was a-awful, I don't want to ever do that a-again."

"Easy, Barr," Joe said, slipping a hand around his back, rubbing circles. "It's OK, now."

But Barry kept shaking his head, kept crying until the Valium set in and made his heartrate slow to an even beat, cast a fuzzy layer over everything. He fell asleep shortly after, the exhaustion taking over until he was dead asleep.

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They didn't talk about it. Joe gave Barry another pill the next morning, and then again before he went to sleep. The next day he seemed to be doing better, and Joe didn't want him relying on the pills, and Barry didn't ask for them, so he didn't give him any. He still seemed shaky – timid and much more hesitant than usual. He was still anxious. But he went back to school, and his mind was taken away from it, and he seemed to get back to normal.

A week later Joe brought it up over dinner.

"You're next appointment for that second cavity is Friday, Barry," he said, "and I wanted to talk to you about your options, and let you pick what sounds best."

Barry went still. Iris looked between her father and Barry, trying to hide her own nervousness.

"I don't want to go," Barry said. His voice was thin. He put down his fork, and his hand was starting to shake.

"I know you don't, son," Joe said, "and we don't want it to be so hard for you – I talked to the dentist and we're going to make sure it won't be so difficult for you this time."

Barry looked down at his plate. "How?"

Joe launched into his speech, the list of options he had spoken with the dentist about. "Well," he said, "this one is a lot smaller – the cavity – the dentist said it was a lot smaller and should be much easier and take less time, so you could always just have the laughing gas –"

"No," Barry said. He hugged his arms around himself. "No, I – I c-can't, not with – not with just that, I – I –"

"Hey, that's OK," Joe said, "I'm just giving you your options, OK, Barry? We can do something more. Whatever is going to make you most comfortable."

Barry frowned, his bottom lip quivering, tears pricking at his eyes. He felt like he was going to cry and that made him feel childish and stupid, crying just from talking about it. But he was so scared – the idea of it – he just couldn't, he didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to get it done, wanted to forget that something like a dentist even existed.

"They can give you the valium," Joe said, "the pills. You can take a bit higher dose – a little more than what I gave you right after it was done this last time –"

"That's not enough," Barry said. He shivered, wanted to run. "It's not eno-enough, Joe, I – it's not going to be enough."

He could feel his expression crumbling, face screwing up.

"Hey," Joe said, and Barry looked up. He reached across to put a hand on his arm. "It's OK, Barry. I'm just listing the options. If you don't think that'll be enough we'll pick something else, OK? We're not going to let you go through that kind of fear again, OK? We're going to make sure this one is easier."

Barry nodded, trembling, and sniffed. He wiped away the tears gathering in his eyes before it could fall.

"I think," Joe said, "what might be best is sedation."

"Sedation?" Barry said. He looked up suddenly.

Joe nodded. "They do a conscious sedation – it'll mean an IV, but they can give you laughing gas or the valium in a pill for that part. But afterwards you should be totally calm – might not even remember it afterwards. It's not a full sedation because it won't knock you out, but you might still fall asleep. You should be totally calm for it."

"I wouldn't remember?" he asked.

Joe shook his head. "Probably not. But you shouldn't be afraid at all once they give you the medication through the IV."

Joe waited. Iris watched Barry. Joe took a deep breath.

"So, what do you think, Barry?" he asked, "There'd be an IV, and I know you don't like needles, but after that it would be like it's all over."

"OK," Barry said.

"OK?" Joe said, his eyebrows raising. He was anticipating more of a fight, more arguing, pleading.

"OK."

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They gave him valium for the night before and morning of. It was a low dose, something to help him sleep and get him through the insertion of the IV. He was still nervous, and he held Iris's hand tightly as they drove to the dentist office. They were halfway there when Barry spoke suddenly.

"You promise I'll be calm, right? Once the IV is in they'll give me the medication right away, right – like – r-right away – So I – I just – I just have to get through the IV, right? Once they put in the IV it'll be OK? I'll be calm? Promise? It'll – it'll b-be OK then?"

Joe startled, and looked back in the mirror at him. "Yes," he said. "Once the IV is in, they'll give you the sedative, and you'll be nice and calm after that."

"Promise?"

"I promise, Barry," Joe said, "it won't be like last time. You probably won't even remember it once it's over. You're going to be all calm, might even fall asleep during it."

"If I'm not, will you take me home?" he said, rambling now, it all coming out too fast. "I-if I have a reaction, or I'm – I'm more resistant to it, or something, if it doesn't – if it's not enough and I'm still – if I panic – if I – like last time, when I'm – I – I can't do that a-again Joe, I won't, I'll run, you can't – I – will you –"

"Barry," Joe said, "if you panic – if for some reason it doesn't work – and that shouldn't happen – it really, really shouldn't Barry, I don't even know how it wouldn't work – but if it does for some reason, then I will take you home. We won't go through with it today. I promise."

Barry slumped down in the seat, letting out a long breath. "You promise?"

"I promise. If you're not completely calm after they give you the sedative, we will go home instead."

"OK," he said, and his voice was quiet.

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Barry did fairly well. That is, up until his name was called, and they walked down the hall and into the room. He took one look at the chair, and his entire body tensed up, and he froze.

"N-no," he said, and he backed up into Joe, turned, shook his head frantically. "I – n-not in the chair – please, I can't – not – please."

"Shh," Joe said, taking his shoulder's in his hands, rubbing gently, "just relax, Barry. It's going to be fine. Going to be completely calm, remember?" Barry was shaking already, and Joe turned to the assistant that had shown them into the room. "Can he have the IV put in while he sits over there?" He pointed to the side chair, one in the corner of the small room for family or assistants to sit on.

"Of course," she said, and Joe walked Barry over to that one and had him sit down.

The anesthesiologist came in, and had Joe fill out some information while Iris wheeled a second chair over and sat next to Barry, holding his hand. When Joe was finished the anesthesiologist pulled up a third chair and sat a little in front of Barry and to the side.

"Hi, Barry," he said, "I'm Dr. Jones. I'm going to put in your IV today and take care of the sedation. Joe tells me you get anxious at the dentist, so we're just going to give you some light sedation today, and that should take care of everything. You probably won't remember the procedure once it's over, and you're going to feel tired for a few hours afterwards, so no driving or anything, OK?"

Barry nodded.

"OK," he said, and he smiled gently at him, "can I see your arm?"

Barry trembled, and swallowed hard and lifted his arm, the one that Iris didn't have. Dr. Jones looked at it carefully.

"You have some good veins here," he said, "it should be very easy to get the IV in – hopefully just one try. I don't want to promise, but it looks like it should be nice and easy for me to get it in. Do you have a preference on where?"

Barry blinked at him. "W-where?"

"I can put it here," he tapped the crook of Barry's arm, "or the back of your hand here, or your wrist, or here," and he tapped a vein on the side of Barry's wrist.

"Um," Barry said, and swallowed. "Which – which looks easiest? To – to get on the first try?"

He looked at Barry's veins again. "Probably your arm or your hand here," he said.

"Um – I'll – my hand, then."

"OK," he said. "do you want to stay here while I do it, or get in the chair. If you stay here, I'm going to have to just give you a little bit of sedation before you get the rest, because I can't give it all to you while you're sitting up like this."

Barry started trembling a little harder as his eyes flicked over to the chair. "H-here," he said.

"OK," Dr. Jones said, "that's fine. We'll get you all set up here and then move. Can you do me a favor now and look over at your friend for me?"

Barry started breathing a little faster, but looked over at Iris. Joe took a step closer, coming up behind her and putting a hand on Barry's shoulder. Dr. Jones wrapped a tourniquet around Barry's upper arm and Barry started to shake.

"It's OK," Iris said, "it's just like a shot, at the doctor's. I know it doesn't feel good, but afterwards you'll be all done, all set. It's OK, Barry."

Barry nodded, the movement jerky.

"Just look at Iris," Joe said.

"OK, Barry," Dr. Jones said, "You're doing great. Big pinch now, OK?"

He waited for Barry to nod, and then inserted the IV. Barry tensed, squeezing his eyes shut, breath stuttering to a halt for a second.

"Breathe, Barry," Joe said, "it's OK. Breathe, son."

"We're all set," Dr. Jones said. "It's in. You're all set, Barry."

Barry still shook, breath stuttering in again, and his eyes looked wild. "I'm giving you a little bit of that sedative now, and then we're going to move and I'll give you the rest." He unwrapped the tourniquet, and administered a portion of the sedative. The effect was immediate. Barry's whole body relaxed, and his breathing slowed within a few seconds.

"There we go, let's get you up to the chair now."

Barry clung to Iris's hand, and he still shied away from the chair, but they managed to coax him into it. Once in place, Dr. Jones put a couple monitors on him, and then administered the rest of the dose.

Barry's breathing slowed, he stilled, and his eyes went glassy. He relaxed into the chair.

"How do you feel, Barr?" Iris asked. Barry's eyes moved over to her, but he didn't say anything at first.

He closed his eyes then. "Fuzzy," he mumbled, "ever'ing 's fuzz'."

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The anesthesiologist stayed to monitor his oxygen levels and pulse to make sure he didn't go too far under, but there were no problems. The dentist came in and took over. Barry hardly said a word the whole time, eyes closed more often than not, and only semi-responsive.

They finished quickly. The whole thing really didn't take much longer than a half hour. The anesthesiologist removed the IV before Barry was really back with them, so when he started to come around more everything was already done and the dentist had already left.

They got out of there before the medication fully wore off. Barry was shaky on his feet, had to be helped out, and he wasn't saying much, but he didn't appear anxious. If anything he just looked really tired. When they got back he almost immediately crashed on the couch.

When Barry woke up, the first thing he noticed was the warm presence next to him, pressed against his side. Well, he was leaning against it more like.

He opened his eyes to find Iris sitting next to him, reading a book. He shifted and stretched out his legs some more, but then closed his eyes again.

"You awake?" Iris asked, and her hand came to rest on Barry's head, lightly, in his hair. He pressed his face into the pillow which was placed between his head and her leg. She stroked his hair, and oh, Barry liked that. He really liked that. It was the kind of comforting touch he would be too embarrassed to ask for, was even a little embarrassed now that she was doing it, but it felt good and he didn't have the energy to fight that.

He hummed instead, a small acknowledgement that he had heard her. She kept playing with his hair and Barry dozed for a little longer. His leg started to cramp though, and he opened his eyes again a while later and shifted on the couch. He really didn't fit, but he didn't want to move either.

"How do you feel?" Iris asked, when it became apparent from Barry repositioning himself that he was truly awake this time.

"Tired," he said.

"Do you remember what happened?"

Barry remembered taking the medication that morning. He remembered going there, being scared – remembered the insertion of the IV, and then feeling the first bit of the drug, the way his body had just calmed of its own accord. He remembered getting into the chair, getting the pulse oximeter set up, and then the doctor said he was going to give him the rest of it.

And then it was blank. It was completely blank. The next thing he remembered was Joe asking him how he felt right before leaving the office.

"No," he said. "I… after I got in the chair… I don't remember anything after that."

Iris smiled, but Barry's stomach flipped. He wasn't sure how he felt about not being able to remember a thing. But he'd do anything to avoid the all-consuming panic that he had experienced the visit before this one, so he'd take it.

"Do you remember coming back here?"

Barry nodded. He remembered getting in the car and then waking up at the house and lying down on the couch as soon as he got in.

"You did fine," Iris said, "you didn't really say much once they sedated you. You were relaxed the whole time. I don't know if you were asleep at all, but you kept your eyes closed for most of it."

Barry nodded.

"Do you feel OK now? Better? It's all done now. You don't need to go back until your next cleaning."

Barry nodded again. "I feel OK," he said, and it struck him as the first time he had ever really come back from a dentist appointment and felt alright. "I'm OK," he said again, and Iris smiled at him.

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