The new door was a sturdier one than its predecessor.
But this very fact also made carving the protective runes a lot harder. Loki cursed silently as the knife ran into his hand, again, although the wound healed in almost an instant; there was simply no helping it, for the door was also a lot more stubborn and repelled his magic just after the fourth rune. He was sure that it was enjoying his misery secretly even if it was good at hiding it.
Thinking that a piece of wood has actual consciousness. You've been gone for too long from Asgard.
The blade bit into his finger this time instead of his palm. Maybe he chose a bit too sturdy door.
He heard the stairs creak and then grocery bags were lowered to the ground behind him with loud rustling.
"What are you doing? Magic stuff?" asked Tony.
"Magic stuff," the god nodded, not feeling like explaining every secret and trick of it in that very moment, as he added the last rune.
"For what reason and purpose?"
Loki sighed as the blade bit into his finger for the tenth time in five minutes. Tony watched curiously as it healed again.
Seems like this won't be the Trickster's day.
"A warding spell. Supposed to keep unwelcome visitors out. Last time it was a weaker one, for I have not thought that anybody would be so desperate to get inside that they'd bringe an axe along. Except for a few people who can hardly be called humans. Rather, Homo Sapiens."
"Actually it was a machete, or something like that, but I suppose it doesn't matter. Still, how couldn't three people kick it in, but a machete did the work alone?"
"Do you expect me to explain a worm what's it like to fly? It wouldn't understand a word, unless it has some experience with it already, which is hardly unlikely."
"I love how you compare my mental capacities to that of a worm's."
"It has nothing to do with that. It's an instinct. You have it, or you don't. Simple as that," he said, snapping the pocket knife closed after inspecting his work and found nothing that required correcting. He felt magic rush into the door as he pulled away from it, before settling to an even course, flowing lazily.
"Soo, vampires," Tony said, once they were inside, "I still find it hard to believe they exist."
Loki lifted an eyebrow.
"You see and hear about what Magneto, his group and the ones like them do, yet you don't believe in vampires?"
"Hey, don't eat me! Half of humanity thinks they're just genetically malfunctioning people, and some believe they are the next step in humanity's evolvment. But vampires? They're thought to be a myth entirely. Fictional characters to scare each other."
"And that's why basically every culture here had something that bore the basic markings and features of one."
"Fair point. So could you tell me something about them?" the mechanic asked as he poured some cereal for himself.
"The first one was created by a blood curse. That's why it requires that the vampire-to-be drinks the blood of his creator. So the blood of the first bloodsucker, as you say, runs in every single one of them in a greater-smaller dose."
"And what about being stronger and faster than a normal human? How that comes to be a part of the curse?"
Loki poked his tomatoes uncertainly. They didn't look good at all.
"It's not. The first one wasn't human, but an Asgardian. And normally they are stronger and faster than the lot of you."
"How can you kill one? I heard about decapitation, the stake into the heart and burning, but..."
Loki gave him an odd look.
"These would kill most living things, vampire or not."
"Oh. Yeah," Tony said, mumbling and apparently fascinated by something in his cereal before looking up again. "Werewolves?"
"What about them?"
"Also a curse. But the original one was an elf."
"Fantastic. I suspect ghost exist, too?"
"And all the other creatures you were warned about as a child," Loki said, leaning back in his car. "And now you're standing in the crossfire."
Tony coughed, almost choking on his spoonful of cereal.
"Wh-what? Why? What?"
"I've made a mistake. Some of the vampires slipped through. Word will spread that I'm here and they'll know you're under my protection. If there is one thing they take seriously is vengeance." He laughed dryly. "Yet, they're not the ones we're supposed to worry about. I've made worse enemies during the centuries when I visited this realm. Unfortunately most of them also tends to live a rather long life."
"Fabulous. And what am I to do now?"
"That's not exactly what I thought you had in mind!" Tony shrieked as the (blunted, granted) sword caught him on the forearm.
"I said you have to learn to defend yourself. What gave you the idea that it'll be easy?" Loki asked as he hit him with the flat of his bade on the thigh.
"Ow! I didn't... Ouch!"
"Stop running!" the god barked, "Anything that comes after you is more than probably faster than you!"
"And definitely stronger! So I'll take my chances with running!"
Loki ran a hand through his hair.
Did the Master of Weapons in Asgard have this many problems with him?
He didn't think so. Well, not after Frigga gave him extra lessons, anyway. And he didn't think Howard would let his son go around without the most basic idea of self-defense. Yet, apparently that was the case.
Fire roared, effectively stopping the only heir of Stark, however he spun on his heels, darting towards the other side of the room only to meet the bright flames there again. He threw his hands into the air.
"Oh man, that's like totally unfair!"
"Then stand and fight!"
"Easy for you to say!" Tony yelled, pointing a finger at him, "You're a nearly indestructible alien-slash-god with magic mojo, who can lift a car with one hand!"
Loki began to lose his patience.
No. The master did not have this many problems with him, that's for sure.
"I do not..."
Somebody knocked.
With a wave of Loki's hand, the living room immediately morphed back into its original design, with not a scratch on anything, to Tony's surprise. Then the sword jumped out from his hand and went flying through a door followed by the sorcerer's weapon. Splashing sound could be heard and something screeched on the other side.
Loki strode over the room and opened the door with a bright smile on his face.
"Mrs. Norris. Can I help you?"
"I and some of the tenants heard shouting. Is everything all right?"
"Sure," rasped out Tony, doubling over, trying to catch his breath, "Never better. Feeling awesome."
"O-oh... I see," Mrs. Norris said, her eyes wide with realisation of something. For some reason Loki did not want to know what conclusion did she come to.
"Well... If everything is okay, then... I'll be going... Now.. Yes. I won't disturb you any longer."
"Thank you. Have a good day, Mrs. Norris," smiled Loki.
His definitely wasn't going well. Seems like his sixth sense was right.
He looked sourly at the embarrassed looking woman, her husband and their completely undisciplined child who was making various sound effect.
Little children, loud children, dead children.
Loki froze. Just what was that now?
He forced himself to smile.
"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I didn't catch the last one."
"Bamm-bamm-bumm!"
"Sure. We'd like two roasted chickens..."
"Mom!" the kid yelled, visibly kicking his mother under the table. "I told you I don't want it!"
Flay him, hear him scream, break his little neck...
"Right, right, sweetheart..."
"You never remember!"
Poke his eyeballs! Crush his skull!
Loki frowned. Something was definitely wrong.
I'm completely sane, or so the voices told me...
"I'm sorry, honey."
The kid scoffed.
Tear his throat out and make him sing a song!
"You're such and idiot, mom."
Gorge on his heart, feast on his flesh! Offer his bones to the crows!
"Shut up!"
The restaurant fell silent, along with the voice in his head.A moment later a door opened behind him.
"O'brian? Come in, please."
The manager sighed as he sat down.
"Would you explain me what was that out there?"
Considering for a moment, Loki chose to tell the truth.
For once, Silvertongue?
He chose to ignore the voice for now.
"I don't know."
His boss looked thoughtful for a moment.
"I've known you for three years now. You've never took a day off, not even on holidays. I believe you have exhausted yourself."
What?
"No, it's not that..."
"You are to take two weeks off. And make youre you come back completely relaxes and revitalised, so no such accidents will ever occur again. Understood?"
His voice left no room for argument.
"Yes, Sir."
jdjéga
It took him a great deal of self-control not to break anything on his way to the changing room.
The great prince of Asgard. Look how far you've fallen.
For the moment, it seemed that the voice was determined to stay around.
Luckily, none of his colleagues gave him pitying looks. That would have been the last drop in the glass.
"Hey, bud?" tapped a young man his shoulder, "What you've done might be stupid, but I kind of admire you. I worked once as a waiter as well."
The blonde girl by his side giggled. Loki frowned. Albeit she appeared fairly normal, there was something off about her. She had just a tiny bit too wide of a smile. Just a tiny bit too shining eyes. "What I mean, we sat right next to them and heard the whole thing. I myself wanted to slap that kid, but who am I to do so? So you have my absolute respect, risking your job and all."
Loki wasn't so sure he wanted to have his respects.
"And mine as well," said the woman, giving him an all too white, toothy grin.
Everything clicked in place. No wonder why he didn't recognise her sooner. The last time he had seen one of them was seven centuries ago, when one had been trying to steal Thor's soul.
A succubbus.
The man smiled.
"Well, good night and good luck."
"To you, too," he answered automatically, watching them go.
Following them without being not noticed was frightfully easy. It appeared as if none of them had any idea about their surroundings and neither did they care about it, joking with each other during almost the whole road.
"Where are you taking me?"
"To my favourite place," she said, speeding up slightly.
Judging from the tenseness of her body, the hours given to hour to return with a strong soul must be up soon.
"An alley?"
"What can I say. I have always had a strange taste."
Really? What was up with this realm's monsters? Alleys? These are the only places here where they can do their dirty business?
"You bad, bad girl," the man said with a grin.
"Agreed," she turned. "Mr. Trickster, I'd be rather happy if you'd take your leave. Now."
His answer came in the form of a silver dagger. He wasn't one for pointless talking, unless it meant saving his behind. Or Tony's. Or Thor's. Or the friends of Thor. And the list could go on.
The voice which had been blessedly silent for the last twenty minutes now screamed with delight as the succubbus screeched, bat-like wings snapping as glowing red veins ran through her body.
Then a gush of wind blasted through the alley and she was no more.
The human gave a roar of fury, releasing a kind of strange, blue mist from himself.
Loki's eyes widened.
Oh, damn. How he hated magic when it was another wielding it...
Phew! It's up! Finally... Even though it might not be that good... But whatever!
The new door is oak.
Loki does take breaks from his work as a waiter. Every Tuesday and Friday. On those days he performs as a magician in children's hospitals.
I hope everything made sense mostly so far. If not, I'm truly sorry. They will, later. (Or not, which is always a possibilty. For that, I'm sorry, once again.)
