Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn.
Summary: A series of character studies, because every character deserves a tale, even if it is never heard. Part Seven: Black Coffee
Chapter Summary: Black Coffee. Lussuria, Levi, Xanxus, Mukuro, Bianchi, Tsuna, Hibari
Desserts
Part VII: Black Coffee
i. Lussuria
Nobody would ever think of Lussuria as bitter, that was for sure. In fact, people often wondered how he could remain so bubbly and up-beat, how he didn't fall trappings to the jaded cynicism that usually came with his job. But they don't know the truth because nobody can see inside someone else's mind. Because Lussuria is the most bitter and jaded member of the Varia, even surpassing Xanxus because all his anger and resentment and bitterness is turned inwards, self-destructing hate. And they don't know how much he sickens himself, how bitter he is to be this way. They think he's okay with his sexuality with how open and flamboyant he acts but they don't know how bitter he is at his attraction to men, about how he cursed his homosexuality and all the prejudice and complications it brought. They might think he's okay with his fetishes but they don't know how much he sickens himself as his body reacts to the freshly dead bodies. They might think he's happy but they don't know how often he just burns to kill everything in sight, to wipe out the world in a sea of blood so that he can drown himself in it, enjoying the suffocating. They don't know anything after all.
ii. Levi
And Levi is brutal and calculating and cold. He was jaded and cynical and oh-so-bitter. But he had reason to be, didn't he? He had given it all up, all his hopes and aspirations to serve that man. He'd become the perfect killing machine, been obedient and perfect, the ultimate minion. All to serve that man, all to be acknowledged by him, to be his right hand forever. But that's too much for him to have, isn't it? That's too good for stupid, pathetic Levi. Because the boss didn't want him, the boss wouldn't ever make him his right hand. And it was all that stupid shark's fault.
iii. Xanxus
Xanxus is strong, pure anger, burning in its total coldness. He cannot lose, doesn't lose. Failure isn't something he's ever tasted. He'd been trained in everything he could ever need, had unleashed the full power of the Flame of Wrath. Losing had never entered his mind when this had begun. He'd never imagined this when his bitterness and resentment had driven him to this, to this fight against the old man. The old man who was the cause of all that anger, of all that resentment, that lying old bastard, the old man who was the first to make him taste defeat.
iv. Mukuro
And Mukuro is always bitter, only bitter. He is hot, burning hate and resentment, always bitter and always dreaming. Dreaming silently in his inner world, casting wonderful illusions inside his head of what his life should have been, of what it could have been. Spinning delicate scenes inside his head of happy childhood memories with parents who should have loved him (But they hadn't, had they? They hadn't loved, hadn't wanted, cast him aside) to replace his childhood memories of experiments and torture and pain (oh god the pain, the pain, how it had never seemed to stop, oh how it hurt when they stuck that needle into his eye, how it hurt when they'd gouged it out to modify it, how it had hurt when they'd replaced it). But he never does get beyond dreaming, never can make those pretty illusions reality.
v. Bianchi
She tries every day not to feel too bitter, to not feel all that pent up anger and resentment because it was all too stressful and it just hurt so much sometimes. She tried not to think of how her life should have been, how she'd dreamed it would be, with a husband and children and a love that would never die. She tried not to think of things that were impossible. Because she'd never have that, would she? She couldn't…and all because of that so-called 'curse', all because of those stupid pacifiers and his stupid honor that hadn't let him turn them down. You couldn't help who you loved anyways, could you? And if you could, would you even want to?
vi. Hibari
He didn't know when he'd chosen this life, this existence of pain and bloodshed, of war and battle. Maybe it was the first time his father had hit him, the moment when he swore that he'd grow strong enough to never have anyone lay a hand on him again. Maybe it was the first time he'd followed in his father's violent footsteps and beat someone, his tonfas cracking the back of their skull with a sickening crack. Maybe it had been then, that first beating where he'd felt something inside him, maybe it was that little thing others called empathy or conscience, splinter and crack beautifully with a little jolt of inner pain. Maybe, he thought with a smirk, taking a sip of his bitter coffee, he was just a masochist.
vii. Tsuna
Lord, did he have his bitter moments. But he'd learned one thing from Reborn very well and that was how to hide things. So he never let others guess of his bitterness, his resentment. He never let them know of how sometimes he just felt so angry, so bitter at his predecessor and at the family at whole. He'd never wanted this life, had refused time and time again. But he'd been stuck with it and he'd been forced to accept it. This life had been crammed down his throat and he'd taken what he was given. But that didn't mean that he wanted it now anymore than he did back then. It didn't mean his bitterness would ever subside, didn't mean that someday, he'd figure a way to leave this all behind.
