Again time passed was meaningless. Now I felt the pain of the love I had lost. Charles Brandon had married Margaret, Henry's sister and was banished from court. I was no longer in prospect to become a Duchess. I was just a young girl at court, honored by the Queen and King of England.
Anne had most graciously taken the throne as Henry's consort. She gave birth to a beautiful daughter, and I just watched. Three years had passed since a man had known me. As far as anyone was concerned I was still virginal, pure, and incredibly innocent. Only Anne, Brandon and I know the truth.
I had many prospects, being favored by both Anne and Henry. Many men begged for my honor. But I would not allow it, I was broken and although I wanted to be as pure as they saw me I knew that would never be true again. I know many women here at court whose innocence has long been forgotten, and the only thing keeping them from being named a whore is their status.
I am of a lowly status. If my reputation was ruined as theirs are I would fall to the bottom never to rise again. I held the highest honor a woman of my status could hold to be favored by both the king and queen. I helped Anne birth her first child, stood by her when she miscarried and listen to her cry at night.
Henry was a very hot man. He couldn't stay cool when Anne was pregnant and ventured to her ladies. Anne saw to it that every beautiful lady-in-waiting she had was sent away. She saw her place as fragile as Catherine's was in the end. Time is wearing thin for Anne and she knows it. This is where my story really begins. This is where Anne needed me more than ever and as I so loved her I had a very important choice to make.
"Constance? How are you this morning?" A very familiar voice sounded as we all sat in the Queen's quarter listening to music and sewing the Kings shirts. Anne kept a very lively court.
"I am doing very well this morning, Your Majesty, the sun is shining and my Lady's face is aglow." I knew Anne was pregnant again, so did Henry. We all hoped and prayed—fervently—for a boy. Anne looked at me with sad eyes. I did not know what she was thinking at that moment. But I would have given anything to get inside her head.
"Yes, I see that she is progressing quite well." He quickly looked to the newest addition to court, a Jane Seymour. I saw the fire in his eyes and understood the sadness in Anne's eyes. I had seen them before, when Anne was a Lady in Waiting to Catherine. She was losing her hold almost as quickly as Catherine had.
"I don't know what to do, he's with her now Connie. Eating supper with her, not me. This child is my only hope. But I cannot bear to see them together. I grow weaker every day, the pain is killing the baby, and will bring my death. I am so afraid." She cried as she sat on my bed. In this room we were best friends. She wasn't the Queen of England and I wasn't her servant.
"Oh Anne, it won't be long and this boy will come and secure your place forever." I said as I pressed my hand against her growing stomach.
"I thought once Catherine was gone I would be safe. It's been a month and now I have another girl to contend with. I know the King is too hot to be without love for nine months, but if it was just someone I could trust. Someone who would not steal him from me. I could manage then." She whispered. Tears slid down her face and the pain she must have been feeling was inconceivable.
Then suddenly her face lightened up, a thought came to her. I saw her eyes light up. She had found a solution to carry this son full-term.
"Connie, I need you, please." She said and took my hand in hers. I had no idea what she meant I was always with her. I didn't know there was anything else I could do to ease her pain. But she was soon to tell me.
"Anne what do you mean?" I asked.
"You must seduce the king. Let him know you, and only you, then the next six months would be so easy. He would come back to me after the child is born. It's a brilliant plan. Please say you will do this favor for me?" I shook my head immediately.
"No, Anne, no. Do not ask this of me, I cannot give myself to the King. How far will I fall? What about my dreams? Anne, do not ask this of me!" I started off firm and strong but by the end I was crying.
My best friend, my soul-mate, just asked me to make love with her husband. I started to shake. I couldn't even stand the King for more than what was asked of me. He seemed to be a big baby who I didn't want to deal with.
"Constance I wouldn't ask this of you if there was another way. If somehow I could carry this child to full-term with out your help I wouldn't ask this of you. But that Jane Seymour is conspiring against me. I am so afraid she will take my throne. I would rather have you in his bed, someone who is faithful and loving. Someone I can trust." She stood and hugged me.
"Anne, I cannot do this. It has been so long since I've known a man, I wouldn't even know what to do. He is so experienced and the only experience I have is with Brandon. There has to be someone else! What about Madge? She's your cousin I am sure she can keep him occupied for a few months." I said but Anne was shaking her head.
"No, if he is looking to that Seymour, he wants something fresh and innocent. Something never touched before. I see the way he looks at you, he is deciding who to choose. I know if he dines with her today tomorrow she will be his mistress. Madge, although very sweet, is not very innocent." She said confidently.
"Well, I've known a man, the king's best friend. I cannot possibly make love to the king as well. I am not that innocent either!" I pleaded.
"The only people who know that is me, you and Brandon. We've all kept the secret for so long that it's almost as if it never happened. Please you are my only hope. Time is running by so quickly I am not sure how long we have. We may already be too late. Please Constance, I have no one else." I never saw Anne beg before this. She was always the one people begged. My heart was tearing but I knew I could not do this.
In one instant my Queens life was put into my hands. If I did this for her, I would be known always as the king's mistress. I would have lost all the innocence I try so hard to portray. But if I do not do this I will be murdering my Queen, more importantly murdering my best friend. This is the hardest decision of my life.
"Give me, I pray you, a day to think about this. I will have your answer before Mass tomorrow. I promise." I asked. She nodded and left me to my own conscience.
