SNAKE AND OTACON:
ON BEING FICTIONAL... PART II
BY: Bad Ronald and Otaku Tess
SNAKE: Otacon ... what's with that?
:::Points to Otacon's Neon Genesis Evangelion models:::
OTACON: *picks up Rei* What's with what? u_u
OTACON: *looks at his action figures, while holding Rei away from Snake* They're only the coolest.
SNAKE: :::Hear a knock on the door:::
Hmm?
:::Goes to door:::
Mailman: Oh, hi. Special Delivery to a... Solid Snake?
SNAKE: Yeah, that's me.
Mailman: Sign here, please.
SNAKE: :::Signs paper:::
Mailman: Have a nice day.
SNAKE: :::Looks at box:::
...?
...!
They're the MGS1 & 2 action figures I ordered on Ebay!
:::Opens box:::
:::Peers inside:::
Uhh... I say these are way cooler than what you have, Otacon.
OTACON: *Still clutching Rei, looks in box*
OTACON: What? No they're not.
OTACON: *holds Rei in his face* Look at her. She's cuter than you... u_u
SNAKE: Yes, they are!
Look at me!
:::Holds Snake figure in Otacon's face:::
I've got a SNEER!
OTACON: Oh..
OTACON: Grizzly.
OTACON: *fishes around in box*
SNAKE: But look at Wolf!
:::Holds Wolf in face:::
...!
:::Digs in box:::
Heh heh... no love for the Otaku. You don't have one...
OTACON: Nono.
OTACON: There's gotta be.
OTACON: *Digs in box, falls in* Ah!
SNAKE: :::Takes Otacon out:::
Nope. Look at the figure line up.
:::Shoves paper in Otacon's face, with a lineup of MGS and MGS 2 figurines::::
OTACON: *comes out covered in bubble wrap and packing paper*
SNAKE: No Otacon ... sorry, pal.
OTACON: *looks at list* This is an outrage! o_O
SNAKE: Geez, calm down. McFarlane just didn't want to waste time making ... uhh ... err... He was busy, yeah, that's it.
:::Pats Otacon's shoulder:::
OTACON: I am interracial to the plot of both games!!!
OTACON: Why on gods-green-earth don't I have an action figure??
SNAKE: You are part of the game and plot, but if you were a figure, what would you come with? A laptop?
:::Snickers:::
OTACON: Yes! Yes I would come with a lap top. u_u *fixes his glasses*
OTACON: Does Meryl have an action figure?
SNAKE: .............
:::Pulls out Meryl figure::: *DROOLS*
Yep.
OTACON: *Snatches it* Hey! Snake. Get ahold of yourself.
SNAKE: But you're not exciting!
:::Turns to look at Wolf's figure:::
OTACON: *Drops Meryl and snatches Wolf* Let me see!
OTACON: *drool* Eeee.... *looks at it from a few angles* You're right. Nice Detail. *wistles*
SNAKE: Hey!
:::Snatches Wolf Figure:::
Get ahold of yourself!
:::Looks at Wolf's figure:::
Whoa, nice detail. McFarlane rocks. These could use a little more articulation, tho.
:::Drools over Wolf's "assets":::
OTACON: Woo. Boy.
OTACON: She puts the "Ass" back in Assassin.
OTACON: *Gives Snake a sly, pert grin*
SNAKE: .....
:::Gives Wolf to Otacon and looks at Meryl figure:::
I beg to differ...
SNAKE: :::Shoves Meryl figure into Otacon's face:::
See?
OTACON: And she puts the ... uhh... *blink blink, takes Meryl and looks at her a moment*
OTACON: Give me a minute.
OTACON: *Wracks his brain for another clever thing for Meryl* Ahh...
SNAKE: ... Don't even think about it.
:::Snatches Meryl Figure away:::
OTACON: You're no fun.
SNAKE: At least I have an action figure in my likeness.
Look at Raven! His scowl is awesome!
:::Shoves Vulcan Raven into Otacon's face:::
SNAKE: And you wouldn't be scowling either. You'd be smiling like an idiot.
OTACON: Ah! *holds arm in front of his face*
OTACON: Well, that explains a lot!
OTACON: No problem with keeping it to yourself, though!
SNAKE: Uhh ... sorry.
:::Smiles like an idiot and pats Otacon in the back:::
Well, it leaves more to the imagination.
OTACON: ...? Uhh... Yeah. *ahem*
SNAKE: Yeah! Hey, let's send a note to McFarlane and have him make your figure!
OTACON: *Picks up Psycho Mantis, With mind reading powers* o_O Hey! I heard that!
SNAKE: ...!
I mean.. "Yeah, sure, he will!"
- _ -
OTACON: Uh-huh.
OTACON: I hold the power.
OTACON: *Wavs Mantis in his face*
OTACON: I am going to read your memory card!
SNAKE: Psycho Mantis? Psycho Mantis is nothing.
:::Picks up Liquid:::
Now this is cheap. They just had my face plastered on his. Look! He's got my sneer.
OTACON: Haha.
OTACON: You are just a model and you're not an individual.
SNAKE: .........
:::Picks up Ninja:::
You know what? I wonder why he has that red circle on his forehead. Is he asking for a bullet or what?
OTACON: AHHH!!! *hides in the box*
OTACON: Get it away!!!!!
SNAKE: :::Looks at Otacon, confused, then remembers:::
Oh, yeah, sorry.
:::Picks up Raiden figure:::
The hell is this? What's with the mask?
OTACON: *Throws mantis at him in a desperate attempt to fend him off* Is he gone yet...?
SNAKE: Ow!
:::Hides Ninja figure:::
Happy?
OTACON *Pokes head out of box* *fixes his glasses nervously* Yes.
OTACON: *climbs out of box*
SNAKE: Now then.
:::Shows Otacon the MGS2 Raiden figure:::
What's this about? I never played MGS2, but you did...
:::Looks at Raiden's mask:::
Freaky...
OTACON: What the hell?
OTACON: He's a ghost!
SNAKE: .......
SNAKE: ........?
SNAKE: .......
OTACON: Lookit, the scary ghost mask!
OTACON: Geez. *looks at figure* Some replacement...
SNAKE: ...!
SNAKE: :::Turns figure over:::
Replacement?
OTACON: Well, uhh... I mean ... in only the nicest sense of the word...
OTACON: Eheh...
SNAKE: :::Glances at Raiden figure:::
What the hell are you talking about?
SNAKE: :::Glares at Otacon:::
OTACON: Nothing. Nothing... Just that, well -- ah...
OTACON: I mean...
OTACON: There you are in some 4 Metal Gear Games...
SNAKE: :::Gives Otacon an expectant look:::
Yeah? So...
SNAKE: Hideo Kojima wouldn't be stupid enough to just throw me away in MGS2...
:::Looks at Raiden figure:::
OTACON: And then alluvasudden you're playing as that guy. *Indicates the Raiden action figure* ... And, I mean, no-body's young forever ... and ... uh...
SNAKE: :::Raiden figure breaks into dust in his hand:::
.........
What did you just say?
OTACON: Ahh! *Stumbles backwards, falls backwards over box* Ooph.
OTACON: *from floor* Look, it's the harsh truth. I didn't want to have to tell you but --
SNAKE: :::Grabs Otacon's shirt, And pulls him to his feet:::
Are you saying I'm replaced?
:::Clenches Otacon's shirt tighter:::
REPLACED?!
OTACON: AHH! *Sheilds his face* You wouldn't kill a guy with glasses. >_
SNAKE: ....
:::Drops Otacon:::
Don't worry. I'm not that irritable.
::Sighs:::
So Hideo just threw me away, huh?
:::Reaches for Jack Daniel's:::
OTACON: *Opens an eye slowly, nervously fixes his glasses from the floor* Blee.... Well. "Threw away" is a harsh term... Transposed... Maybe...
SNAKE: Yeah right. He just did away with me.
:::Sad:::
He didn't even ask my permission...
....
Not that I would've given it anyway...
But that's not the point!
:::Swigs whiskey:::
OTACON: Ahh, hey. It's not so bad. *picks up his action figure* At least you have an action figure... *Cheesy grin, holding out figure*
SNAKE: Sure I do. I'm still going on a drunken binge. See you, Otacon!
:::Empties the rest of the whiskey and reaches for another bottle:::
OTACON: Ahh... No no!
OTACON: *takes the bottle* None of that. You're liver will thank you later.
SNAKE: ::Burp!:::
Go ahead, take it.
:::Walks off drunkenly into his room, where he has five more bottles of JDs waiting for him::::
OTACON: *shakes head sadly* You poor drunken fool.... *siigh* *playes absently with action figures*
In the immortal words of the Terminator...
hasta la vista, baby.
Oh yeah.
And...
We'll be back.
