Despair by SLynn

Chapter 7:  All I Really Want

Buffy waited around the crypt that Xander and she had normally patrolled together.  She couldn't be certain, but she thought this was where Constance had meant to meet her.

It didn't take long for her to be proven right.

"Hey there," he said, smiling as he walked up from behind her, "you showed."

"I'm here.  Now spill."

"That's not how this works," Xander said, sitting on top of the nearest tombstone, "you ask me questions.  I answer.  That's how civilized people talk Buffy.  You can't just go demanding things, it's rude."

"Okay, what are you planning?" Buffy asked, clearly irritated.

"I'm planning on having a talk with you and then going to check on your dear little sister."

"That's not what I meant."

"It's what you asked."

"Why are you so bent on us not doing the spells?"

"Better question.  You're learning."  He stood up and began walking in circles around her.  "First off, you'll never succeed.  Your witches are strong, but they're not that strong.  They're just as impatient as you are.  Second, if you do manage to successfully rid Xander's body of the right soul, what do you think that'll do to him?  Do you think he'll be able to live with himself knowing what he's done?  How's he hurt all of you?  Buffy, he's kidnapped your sister.  We both know him well enough that if the spell doesn't kill him, he's good as dead anyways."

"Xander hasn't done anything wrong," Buffy said sternly and for a moment she thought something like his old self flash across his features.

"Don't be ridiculous," he continued, shaking it off, "he's done everything wrong.  He let this happen because he's weak.  You all know that."

"He's still fighting you, isn't he?" Buffy asked.  It was her turn to smile, "You don't have as much control as you'd like us to believe."

Xander's look grew hard, and then softened.  He almost looked sad.  He almost looked like himself.

"What do you know about control?" he asked, no longer sounding like Constance, "What do you know about me?"

"I know what I see," Buffy said, her voice softening.

Buffy watched as he clenched and unclenched his fists again and again at his side.

"Do you?"

Buffy nodded, "I can see who you are."

"I'm not sure I know that anymore."

"I know you're scared Xander, but…"

He laughed.  Whatever changes had been taking place were erased that quickly.  The real Xander was gone again.

"Nice try.  Really, an A for effort.  But it's not going to work.  Like I told you, he's weak."

"If he's so weak why didn't you just kill us all why you had the chance?  You had us all fooled.  None of us knew a thing and yet you did nothing."

"That's just not me though," he said smoothly, but his eyes said something else, "Besides, I could hurt you if I wanted too. It's just more fun this way."

"I thought you didn't lie."

"Time for me to go," he said, turning his back on her.  "Don't try to follow me slayer, or your sister will find out just how harmless I am."

Buffy watched him leave.  In some ways she felt better, but in others she felt worse.

****

Dawn sat huddled in the corner of what she could only assume was a closet.  She wasn't really sure where Xander had taken her or how long he'd been gone.  All she knew for certain was that she was terrified.

Before throwing her in here he'd tied her hands and feet and a handkerchief of some type around her mouth.  She was starting to get rope burns from twisting her hands back and forth.  It didn't matter; she was determined to get loose.

She stopped fidgeting when she'd heard a noise.  It sounded like a door.

'How did this happen?' she thought.

All she knew was that Xander had seemed normal when he'd stopped by to take her to the mall and then half way there she realized they were heading the wrong way.  She had jokingly called him on it and he just stared at her like she was an alien or something.  Then he'd laughed and told her there had been a change in plans.

She'll never forget the look on his face.  She never thought she'd see him look that evil.

Dawn craned her neck towards the door. 

Footsteps.  She had definitely heard footsteps.

Suddenly, the door flew open.

"Now what have we got here," Spike asked, looking down at her.

She'd try to say, "You look like hell," but with the gag firmly in place, it didn't have the same affect.

He was wearing his game face, but was so beaten you could hardly tell it.

Dawn recoiled as he leaned in towards her.

"Now Spike," a familiar voice called from behind, "what did I tell you?"

Spike's face fell back to normal and he took a few steps back giving Dawn a good view of Xander standing just behind him.

"She's off limits.  Besides, she not what you really want."

With that, Xander casually stepped past Spike and began to shut the door.

"See Dawn, I told you.  You've got nothing to worry about here.  I'll take good care of you."

Then he shut the door firmly leaving her alone in the dark.

Dawn leaned in as close as she could to the door, trying to catch the conversation taking place on the other side.

"Did you get what I need?"

"Yeah, I got your bloody cup.  When can I get what I want?"

"Soon.  Be patient."

"I've been patient, now I want…"

Spike's voice was cut short.  Dawn thought she heard a gargled gasp.

After that she didn't listen anymore.

****

Buffy and company sat around the Summers' dining room table discussing strategy.

"I'm afraid he didn't leave us much.  Only five or six books are fully intact.  We'll be fortunate if we can get anything out of them."

Joyce looked worried at Giles last words.

"She really doesn't want us doing that spell," Buffy said, "which makes me really want to do it."

"I know Buffy, but we may have to start looking at other methods."

"Wait a minute," Willow said, looking up from the book before her, "I think we just hit the jackpot."

She pushed the book across the table to Giles.  Buffy and Joyce leaned in over his shoulders.

"What is that, Latin?" Joyce asked.

"Looks like it.  It's seems to be a banishment spell.  Rids the person of an unwanted entity or demon from a dwelling," Giles said as he looked over the spell, "Could you make this work?"

Tara and Willow exchanged quick glances.

"Yeah," Willow nodded, "I think so."

"How soon can you get started?"

Despite Constance's warning, they had decided to go forward with the spell.  They had no choice and no other options.  A few hours later they'd gathered their supplies and were ready to begin.

Tara drew a circle on the ground with salt.  Willow lit the candles, looked over her notes, and sat down in the center.

Placing a shirt of Xander's they'd picked up on their "gathering spree" directly in front of her, Willow next filled a small chalice with lavender water to her left and the one to her right with sand.

They all stood transfixed in the background, watching as the Wicca began to chant.

She had warned them that it might take some time for anything to happen, and for ten minutes they watched as she sat, seemingly affecting nothing.

Then it all changed.

The room grew darker.  The candles shown brighter.  It was as if the floor around Willow literally shook, knocking over both of the cups beside her.

Willow seemed unaffected.  She continued chanting louder and louder.  The sound was growing deafening.

"This isn't right," Tara said, turning to Giles for help.

Giles seemed at a loss for what to do.

"Giles!"

"Break the circle," he said, as if coming to from some trance, "quickly!"

Buffy and Tara rushed in with him, and as quickly as they could began pushing around the salt with their hands.

Willow began to sway back and forth, still chanting but not nearly at the same volume as before.  When the last of the circle was broken, she just collapsed.

They all stood over her each equally concerned.

The sound of clapping from the kitchen doorway caused them all to turn sharply.

"Quite a show.  I'm glad I didn't miss it."

"What have you done?" Buffy stood.

"Me," Xander said, in mock surprise, "I've done nothing.  In fact, I even warned you not to do the spell.  It's not my fault if you didn't listen."

No one said anything.

"Besides, she had it coming to her.  She was messing with magic's way over her head.  She should have done some more research.  Of course, it probably didn't help that I tainted the spellbook.  Oh well, these things can't be helped."

"You tainted it?" Tara asked, unable to keep the stutter out of her voice.

"That's right, and you haven't gotten long to find the cure either.  I'd say till about six or seven hours."

Tara looked down at Willow whose head rested in her lap.  She felt like she was burning up and her lips were still moving as if she was trying to complete the spell.

"Maybe next time you'll all believe me when I say something.  I don't lie."

Before they could react, he was gone leaving them all to wonder what to do next.