Chapter 7
"Why didn't you stop me?"
She ran off the moment he disappeared behind his door. As soon as she reached her apartment she crouched down and panted heavily, grasping the wall.
She felt her heart beating faster than anything she knew, sending her body temperature sky high.
For a moment she thought he was going to kiss her. And for a moment she wanted him to.
She can't see the little boy in him anymore. He's a whole different entity now. Something new and exciting.
It's not only him, everything else felt different suddenly. It was as if the most normal thing in this world has lost its normality. Nothing is ever going to be the same again.
She scowled for no apparent reason, as if to vent out her frustration at all these confusing feelings in her.
"Matsumoto Fukutaichou?" she spun around. A tenth squader was looking at her with shock. "Are you okay?"
"Umm yes…" she stood up instantly, erasing the smallest sign of any emotion from her face she commanded. "As you were."
She calmly opened her door and lock it behind her. Then stood there with her back against it and sighed.
…
He has been staring at her door for more than a minute now. For the life of him, he couldn't understand why he's here.
This is unnecessary. He could just send her a messenger. Or see her in person at the office.
But instead he's here, staring at her door, trying to make himself cross the last few feet towards it.
Rangiku was staring her front door. It's only a few feet but to her crossing that would also mean crossing over to another realm, where everything is upside down, inside out.
He's going to be late if he spends his morning standing here staring at her door. There's also the chance of her barging out of her apartment anytime now. In fact, it's already late. She should be at the office by now.
He needs to finish this and leave for his appointment. He took a deep breath, his fingers fidgeted with the piece of paper inside his pocket.
She frowned and played with her necklace for a few more minutes. This is getting ridiculous. He's still the same person, there is no reason to be scared of him.
Is she honestly scared of him? Or is it something else?
Who knows! Right now all that matters is that she makes herself open that door, leave her apartment and start the day.
She took a step forward and reached for the door.
Knock.
She immediately jumped back the step she'd just taken.
"Matsumoto."
She wanted to jump further back at that.
"Are you there?"
"I… umm…yes…" her reply slipped out of her mouth faster than she could stop herself. She opened the door slowly.
Both awkwardly looked at each other and the silence stretched out for longer than any conversational pause should.
"Did you sleep well?"
Err… what? She scowled inwardly.
"Yes. I did." Her courage is coming back a little by little. See, he isn't that scary.
"Here" he suddenly took a step towards her and her flight mechanism made her want to jump back. Spoke too soon.
She looked at the folded paper he was holding.
"What is it?"
"Your instruction for the day. I can't be at the training session today so you're taking over. I have a … personal matter to take care of."
Personal matter? Hitsugaya Toshiro doesn't have any personal matter to take care of without her knowledge. But maybe he does now. Things have changed so much.
"Should I ask?" her old habit took over for a second.
A tick appeared on his forehead. "No. You shouldn't. Take it."
Their hands lightly touched each other's and she quickly withdrew, as if she was electrocuted. The process almost tore the note out of his grasp.
He looked a little uneasy at that.
"Make sure you carry out the steps. Make a check list if that helps. I want these new graduates to be better than that any of the other squads." He turned around. "I won't be back today. I'll see you at the office tomorrow. I hope for a good report on how it goes today."
She watched him walking away from her as she clutched the piece of paper on her hands.
…
She arrived at the office in the afternoon, tired from all that exertions of training a bunch of new graduates who have no clue how to keep themselves and their team mates safe.
It's been a long day. But she's happy about it. She's thankful that he wasn't anywhere near. It gives her some time to give her brain and heart a break, to relax, to be herself, and be normal for change.
Now, it's reporting time. She slowly gathered the files on each of these recruits and started going through them. Some of them were very promising.
She did notice a large number of girls in the team. Looks like the words of her captain's good works is reaching further these days. Hitsugaya Toshiro is one of the most powerful captains of Gotei 13, not to mention the most attractive. She wondered whether his new playboy reputation has something to do with this too.
This is always troublesome. She knows how love-struck young boys are, she has plenty of them around. They can barely concentrate on standing straight when she's around. But at least they try to please her by following her instructions. But with the Toshiro fangirls, she can barely get them to pay any attention to work. Some of them even look at her like she's the satan himself.
She sighed. There will be a wholesale supply of love letters this season. Their number has raised exponentially as Toshiro grew older. And not to mention colder, he never bothers looking at them like he used to when he was younger and shorter.
And she is usually the one cleaning up these broken hearted mess of shinigami girls. She did make a lot of good friends that way, they still come by for her in-depth love-advises.
But, young girls can be ruthless at times. She just doesn't want him getting tangled up in any dramas.
Like the one she herself tangled up in. With him!
That's it. She's asked for one day for these thoughts to leave her alone. Doing paperwork always has the aptitude of making her brain wander around elsewhere and bring up these buried unwanted feelings.
She opened the bottom drawer of her desk.
What! No sake!
That's it.
…
"Sake please." She asked rather heatedly. The bartender frowned at her. She knows the guy's quiet mad at her for ditching him after one night. But that's how it goes around here. She just hopes he doesn't spit on her drink.
Something white and shiny at the corner of her eyes made her look.
"Taichou." She exclaimed to herself.
He was sitting at a booth with someone, chatting. Why is he here? And the girl he's with, she looks familiar. She's seen her before.
But it's not her concern. He can drink with whoever he wants to.
Why is he smiling? That girl looks less interesting than the snails in her flower tub.
She gulped down another cup at the obscure corner of the bar. So far she has succeeded at avoiding his notice, but couldn't keep her eyes from darting towards them from time to time.
She remembered now who the girl is. She was looking at her file a while ago in the office. Some noble born princess, Okura Shiyomi, joined the squad recently. Although she wasn't at the training today.
"This is your third bottle Matsumoto." The bartender stated the obvious very sternly as he came over to her table and placed a new bottle in front of her.
"Keep 'em coming." She ordered and he rolled his eyes at her before leaving her alone.
Every cup sake is making her a little more herself and a little less of the mess she's been for days. It's been a while she's drunk this much. And it feels good.
She was on her fifth bottle when she noticed them leaving the table. That was a long conversation. She wondered what is there to talk about with a princess like that.
Unless it really was a personal matter.
Really? With that girl? Is that why the girl wasn't at the training today?
She felt the urge to drink a bit more, but something inside her stomach stirred.
Oh crap. She can't throw up here. She staggered up the table and found the wall to keep herself steady while approaching the restrooms.
She felt a little better after emptying her stomach of everything she's eaten the whole day. But afterwards she was exhausted. She wanted to sleep. Slowly she made it to the door of the restroom and staggered outside.
Grasping the walls she slowly took a step and as expected, felt the ground beneath her feet is rushing to meet her.
But someone grabbed her from behind with their hand around her stomach. She felt the familiar tingle on her body.
"Matsumoto." His voice was full of irritation. "I hope you remember my warning about drinking and being hangover in the office." He pulled her straight on her feet.
"I thought you've left." she heard her own slurred speech.
"Needed to use the restroom."
She pulled herself away from his grasp. "I'm fine. You can leave me now. I'm sure you need to take care of your personal matter with that princess of yours." She retorted bitterly.
He frowned. "Stop saying pointless things and what I do during my personal time is not any your concern."
"I know that." she took a step with her hand on the wall. "So I'm telling you to not to worry about me… "
She couldn't finish her sentence before she was finally on the floor, managing to not flatten herself by crawling up on her all fours.
"Matsumoto!" called another voice. Before Toshiro could pick her up following his eye rolling, the man reached down towards her. "Do you need me to take you home?" Its the bartender. "I've just finished my shift."
Before Rangiku could manage a 'no', Toshiro interrupted.
"No need. I will be taking care of my lieutenant." And she found herself being picked up by his strong hands and carried out of the pub. She thought his face looked extra stern.
"Let me go" she squirmed in his arms.
"You can barely walk." He replied, no intention of letting her go.
"I can walk."
"Fine." They have only crossed a couple of blocks after the pub. She stood on her feet without toppling over, albeit her hand was grabbing the wall.
"You can go do your thing now." she spat out.
"Why are you acting like this?" he asked.
"Why?" she almost screamed heatedly. "How dare you ask me… "She suddenly stopped. Why is she angry at him?
"I thought we've talk about… all that. And I promised that nothing like that will ever happen again."
She muttered. "That doesn't make what happened any less of a reality."
"I see, you're more troubled by it than I thought."
She was a little surprised at that. "And you're not? I thought you … "
She stopped again. She can't use the 'love' word here. Not now. Was it that easy? All he had to do is sleep with a dozen girls and now he's cured of his feelings for her?
Wow. And she felt all those weird, unexplainable emotions for nothing.
"Never mind Toshiro." She slowly started walking.
The silence stretched out again as he watched her walking away from him in snail-speed.
"You know it will take you the whole night to get home at this speed." He spoke matter-of-factly.
She scowled and refused to answer.
A moment later he was walking next to her. "It will take me no more than few minutes to flash step you home. I promise to do it slowly, you won't feel queasy."
"Why do you care?" she chewed out without looking at him.
"I've always cared about you. It's nothing new." He said as if he's just talking about the weather or something.
Maybe it is like that to him. She's like a part of his everyday life like the weather. Nothing interesting.
And she knows all that. She knows how much he cares about her, she cares about him too. It's just she didn't know he had... other feelings for her.
Something else bothered her more than that. Does she have those feelings for him? After what happened, she can't look at him innocently anymore.
Can he? Even if he's cured of his 'love' for her. She's kind of started doubting what Momo had said to her about that.
"I've always cared about you too." She admitted, albeit a lot less coldly as he did.
"Why were you so mad about my meeting with Okura Shiyomi?" he asked again.
Was she? She thought she was just angry in general.
"It doesn't matter. It's not my business, as you've said."
He sighed loudly. She watched him slowly removing his cold mask away from his face.
"It was an assignment from the Okura family. They have contacted me regarding an issue which is kind of… sensitive. Since Okura Shiyomi kind of knew me from the party, she approached me in person and we decided to keep this to ourselves before getting the rest of the Gotei 13 involved." He explained. "I didn't want to bother you with this, I know… that things between us will not go back to normal soon."
What is normal anyway?
Her anger subsided a little. "You don't need to explain anything." She spoke softly.
"Now that you understand why I had to have the day off at the Okura family mansion and why I was having the private meeting with Okura, can I flesh step you home?"
She sighed and forfeited. She knew she would topple of over anytime. He picked her up gently.
With her arms around his neck the feelings of that night was rushing back to her body again and she flushed. As amazing as sake is at making her brave, it always leaves her open to emotions like this.
"Are you okay?" she was barely steady as she opened the door to her apartment and he held her arm tightly.
"Yes."
"Can you manage the walk to your bedroom?" He asked.
"I… think so." she stepped inside removing her arm from his. "Good night Tosh… Taichou."
He turned around to leave. Thump.
She's on the floor again.
He shook his head in frustration as he stepped inside and bent down to pull her up.
"You're always such trouble Matsumoto" he muttered.
"I'm sorry." She muttered shyly in his arms.
The apartment was dark, he could barely see where he was stepping. It's especially hard with her hanging from one arm.
"Thank you." she muttered again.
He looked sideways to find her face that is hidden beneath her bright wavy hair. He always thought that hair was the most beautiful thing in the world.
And again! She tripped on her inebriated feet. This time he was pulled in with her as she fell towards the ground face first. His protective instinct took over and both his arms tighten around her waist to turn her towards him and her face buried in his chest protectively.
She was underneath him, hair splayed around her face, hands clutching his Shihakushō collar tight, face only inches away from his. He lied on top of her, hands still on her waist, knees on the floor, keeping his weight up. He stared into the widened crystal blue eyes and realised, even in the darkness, that actually, those two eyes are the most beautiful thing in this world.
The time stopped as their breaths intermingled in between them and none of them spoke.
His body moved, he leaned closer, lips almost touching hers. He could feel her heart beating against his, at a speed that could match his own.
The time stayed still for another moment before it ticked again. So did his brain.
"Kiss me" she whispered.
His eyes widen. Did he hear that right?
"Please Toshiro."
He could hear the pleading in her voice. He wanted to. He wanted to crush those plump lips of hers against his, the lips which are the most beautiful thing in the world.
He wanted to taste her.
He wanted her.
…
