Chapter 7: OMG The World's a Ball of String!

Harry- I'm going to Europe? Whatever for?

Author- Just…read the fic, okay? The readers have no idea what's going on…

One day, the trio went to Europe.

"Aren't we technically already living there?" asked Hermione.

No.

Because this isn't the place Europe, this is a different kind of Europe, which I am not going to explain properly, therefore achieving complete confusion for all of my readers and JKRowling's characters (disclaimer!) except those who were cool enough to attend this Europe. MUAHAHAHA!

The trio blinked confusedly.

Just then, because the Author (me!) was having the sudden desire to write something Christmas-y, because Christmas was happy and she had had a bad day, she decided to incorporate the aforementioned holiday into the equation. I mean – ahh! Too much math! I meant the story.

"Only 40 days until Christmas!" Ron shouted joyfully.

"No, Ron, there are 45 days!" argued Hermione, because the Author figured they could argue for a long time about anything, which was good for her plot line.

What? Sorry? Oh, okay, you're right, I did mean plot-less line…please forgive me. Because, you know, if you don't, I, the Author, can kill all your favourite characters. So hah.

Anyway, while all of the readers rushed to find a calendar to count the days until Christmas, because they were just so into this chappie, you know, the Author realised that she'd better mention that this was written on the 10th of November, not whenever she had the time to post it.

"Nuh uh!" retorted Ron, as the readers looked up to remember what was actually happening.

"Yah-huh!" argued Hermione.

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yah-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yah-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yah-huh!"

They were so busy arguing, and Harry was so busy watching them argue, having nothing else to do, that they didn't notice that the Author changed the setting to Amity Park, a very roomy police box, and the Hundred Acre Wood before plopping them back down in the common room.

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yah-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yah-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yah-huh!"

"SHUT UP!" Harry shouted, showing his inner teen angst.

His friends just ignored him for a while and then stopped arguing randomly, because the Author decided they should. I just love ultimate power :)

"We will have to settle this with a debate," decided Harry. "But we'll have to do it like the Canadian government because the Author doesn't know a thing about the British government."

Ron and Hermione just looked at him.

"Hermione, you'll be the government, and Ron, you'll be the opposition."

"Why does Hermione get to be the government?" asked Ron.

"Because she's always right!" replied Harry, then he paused. "Wait, that doesn't make sense! Okay, Ron you're the government, and Hermione, you're the opposition."

They blinked at him for the third time in this fic (at least, I think it's the third), until the Author magically made them understand what Harry was saying. Isn't magic useful?

"I'll be the Speaker," Harry announced, "But you must call me Princess Speaker."

Ron and Hermione blinked yet again.

"Why?" Ron dared ask.

But Harry was too busy shaking his fist at the sky, where the Author was lying down on a cloud, with her head on her hands, swinging her legs in the air, to answer.

Then he sighed. "Alright, are there any motions?"

Hermione spoke up. "I move that we sit down."

Harry nodded. "All those in favour be pleased to say "aye"."

"Aye," answered Ron and Hermione in union, agreeing for once (gasp!).

"Motion passed," Harry declared, and they all sat down.

"We now look to the legislation "There are only 40 days until Christmas"."

Then the Author skipped the boring parts, because they are boring.

"We now open the floor to debate," announced Harry, who was getting quite good at this announcing thing.

"Mr – I mean Princess Speaker!" Hermione shouted, standing before Ron could so much as twitch, which made him frown, and Hermione, in a bout of OOCness, stuck her tongue out at him. Then she turned back to Harry. "I would like to point out-"

"Hey, I haven't recognized you yet!" Harry declared, as he was also getting the hang of declaring.

Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed, and waited for Harry to say:

"Honourable member of the opposition."

-before stating obnoxiously, "I have proof that there is 45 days until Christmas! I counted! Thank you," and she sat down again.

"Princess Speaker!" Ron shouted, jumping up, unable to hide the smirk on his face. You could just tell he loved calling Harry by his "official title".

"Honourable member of the government," Harry announced, nodding at his friend.

"I would like to point out that I counted, too! Thank you."

No sooner had he sat down than Hermione screamed "Princess Speaker!" so loudly that Madam Rosmerta covered her ears.

"Member of the opposition," Harry declared once he had gotten over his temporary deafness, purposefully leaving the "honourable" out of Hermione's title.

Unfortunately, she noticed.

When the boys had recovered from the various jinxes sent at them, Hermione made her statement.

"May I remind everyone," (Harry and Ron looked around – they were hardly enough people for her to need to use the word "everyone") "That I am a lot better at counting than Ron, and I have a calendar," she said coolly. "Look." She then spent the next few minutes showing them as she counted the exact number of days until Christmas.

But of course, neither of the boys was listening.

"That cloud looks like the Author!" Ron suddenly exclaimed.

Hermione scowled. "And so," she concluded, getting rather loud again. "There are 45 days until Christmas." And she sat down in a huff.

"Princess Speaker," Ron said, getting calmly to his feet.

Harry sighed. He, like many of the readers, was getting bored. "Yeah, honourable what'sit?"

"If there are only 40 days until Christmas, it means less time until we get all those presents!"

Well, that made sense the Harry.

Suddenly, for no reason, really, the setting was changed once again, this time to the lake on the grounds. Why were there clouds in the common room, where they were before, you ask? I advise you to read the title of this fic carefully.

"Question having been called," Harry announced, "We will now vote on this legislation. All those in favour be pleased to say "aye"."

"Aye!" shouted Ron loudly.

"All those opposed?"

"Nay!" shouted Hermione, even loudlyer. (And yes, I am well aware that that was not a word until I made it up just now.)

"Oooooo, I get to vote," giggled Harry, abandoning all formality and jumping up and down and clapping his hands. "I vote "Aye" because I can't wait for Christmas!"

Ron whooped. Hermione scowled.

"I declare this motion passed," declared Harry, also whooping.

And so, this chapter serves as further proof that the government just can't do anything right.

It's not a moral, though, because those things only conclude stories with plots. Ya gotta be careful about that.

Then the world blew up, and then un-blew-up, and then turned into a giant ball of string. How did Harry and the gang get out of that one? Well, you'll just have to wait for the next chapter to find out!

Note: This is not a cliffhanger. Those also require stories with plots.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

A/N: There is no a/n at the beginning of the chappie. I am aware of that. Do not ask me about it. Thank you.

Sorry for any inaccurate-ness, but this is a random fic, after all.

Dedicated to my two friends who dragged me to E.O.R.Y.P. (You know who you are!) and my other friend for making all those amendments (heehee!).