~~**~~This piece was once again written to be a filler of some of the gaps that were in the old time-line of the story. The only problem with this one is that it got lengthy as well, and has a few issues that I couldn't change, due to not wanting to lose the old product and not wanting to run over even more. Hotaru is very chummy with Zetsu here, and Nikoru mentions that Leader-sama has order Hotaru not to touch Zetsu. This DID happen, I just never wrote it XD Who knows, maybe I'll go back and do it some other time. But, when Pein is deciding on what to do with Hotaru, after Itachi decides she needs to say, he lays down some rules for her. One of them is that she's not allowed in the yard without a chaperon, due to Zetsu's unwavering want to devour her and Itachi. Also, when Hotaru calls Zetsu, "Zetsu-san", she's talking specifically to the black side. So, sorry for creating more gaps with the piece that was supposed to FILL gaps XD~~**~~
"The Problem with Hugs"
Hotaru sighed lightly, glancing over her shoulder to make sure she wasn't being followed. She needed desperately to be alone with her thoughts again, and there were so many people in this house that there was nowhere TO be alone, not even in the bathroom. She slid open the back door, walking out onto the small breezeway that over looked the garden. The polished bamboo walkway gleamed at her as she glanced down at it, padding to its edge and leaning against one of the poles that held the roof over her head. She folded her arms beneath her breasts, tapping a fishnet clad foot against the smooth flooring.
It was quiet outside. So very, very quiet. She looked around, smiling softly as she listened to the cicadas chirring in the trees. The garden was freshly tilled, the vegetables sparkling in the sunlight with a thin coating of water someone had recently sprayed on them. Marigolds surrounded the little vegetable patch, keeping out the pests alongside of their secret weapon. Her eyes flitted to the other side of the garden, scanning the wood surrounded, grassy plain, wondering if someone was looking at her, if they could see her. Or if she too was protected by the genjutsu that hid the house.
In the silence of the yard she closed her eyes once more. Her thoughts were loud and annoying, but she was unable to silence them. Itachi had gotten her all stirred up inside. She didn't know why, but when she got around him, even if it was just to walk by, she got this weird feeling in the pit of her stomach. He went to push her out of the way the other day and she had actually blushed when he touched her. She didn't know what was going on inside of her. Sasuke was the only one she loved; she knew that. Her heart knew that. So why did Itachi make her feel so funny all of a sudden? She didn't even get that way around Kiba or Garra.
The thought of Sasuke made her whimper and her brow furrow. She could see his face again. It never went too far from her mind's eye, like he was purposely making her think of him. She was haunted by their memories together; day and night she saw them and heard them. His voice, his laughter, his commands, his anger; she always could hear it. Hotaru sighed lightly, listening to Sasuke's voice in her head.
' "What part of I'm leaving and don't care about ANY of you, do you not get?!" She pulled back, wincing at the sound of anger in his voice.
"You do care! You DO! Stop saying you don't!" She shook her head, closing her eyes tightly and fighting back the tears. She clenched her fist in front of her lips, turning her face away from him as he glared at her.
"Shut up! Hotaru, you don't get it, I'm LEAVING you!" He snarled, stomping a foot at her, as if shooing away a cat. "All of you! I'm leaving ALL of you! You can't help me any longer, you're all dead weight!" He sliced a hand in the air in front of himself, his eyes the blood red of Sharingon. She sobbed now, shaking her head violently, her hair whipping at her face and shoulders.
"No! You're lying!" She looked up at him, shaking her head and screaming as the tears ran down her face. "You swore! You swore you would never leave me! You swore to protect Naruto!" She stomped her foot at him too, freezing and beginning to shiver. She couldn't tell if it was the rage coursing through her blood or the upset that was making her quiver, but something was.
"You're in denial! Go run back to Kiba, go run and fuck Garra, do SOMETHING other than bother me! Leave me ALONE!" He stomped another foot and she screamed. She ran at him, aiming to tackle him to the ground and make him believe. He caught her though, grabbing hold of her by the throat and hurling her backwards. A strangled screech left her, gutted by coughs as he threw her to the ground and pinned her. He glowered down at her, pressing his hand deep into the flesh of her throat as his entired body rose and fell with the weight of his breath.
"I'm leaving, whether you like it or not, I'm leaving. And none of you are coming with me." He hissed, releasing her and stepping back quickly. She pulled out her own Sharingon, shrieking and lunging at him again. This time she grabbed his shirt front, forcing him to look down at her.
"You CAN'T leave! You swore you LOVED me!" She snarled, her forehead touching his as she clutched his shirt front with white knuckles. He reached up, glaring at her with narrowed eyes. Then he slapped her. He reached out and slapped her.
She reeled backwards, releasing his shirt front and collapsing to her knees. She touched her cheek with widened eyes, her breathing slowing greatly, coming in long, slow draws now. She couldn't even cry. Her body had gone into shock. Sasuke rose to stand, glowering down at her as she cowed at his feet, dropping her head to the ground. "I'm leaving." His voice had calmed greatly. His eyes had gone back to their dull black color and his face became an emotionless slate once again. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself starting to shiver and cry.
"S-Sasuke…please…" Her voice was drowned out by his footsteps as he turned and started away. She never heard him say a word to her again after that. She never saw him again either. Never felt his embrace. Inhaled his scent. Felt his lips brush past her ear as he whispered he was proud of her before jumping away and beginning to train again. No more secret meetings in the middle of the night, no more running off in the middle of training to kiss and whisper quiet sweet nothings before running off to meet up with Kakashi and Naruto again.
When she came home that night she was greeted with the sight of Naruto and Kakashi sitting at her table, Lola and Nikoru looking up at her from the table too. Kiba had been murmuring with Naruto, standing next to him and leaning on a heavy hand on the back of his chair. He looked up at her solemnly when Naruto's own eyes landed on her; Garra looked up from the shadows of a back corner. One look at them reminded her people still loved her, but it also drove her to collapse and start sobbing again.
Naruto got up, walking over to her and dropping to his knees, hugging her when he did. As he hugged her, he slid something into her hands, watching as her fingers gripped over a dulled, silver head plate. The tattered cloth that was connected to it fell over her hands and Naruto's as he slowly reached beneath it and slid his hand into her own. His free arm remained wrapped around her and she sobbed her free hand able to feel the scar on the head plate that Naruto had put there when Sasuke first decided he wanted to leave. "Oh God, Naruto…" She sobbed loudly, burying her face in his neck and moaning softly as a tremor rocked her body. "What am I going to do now…?" '
Hotaru didn't even realize that she was crying until she felt the tears hit her arms. She opened her eyes, looking around and realizing the sun was beginning to set, casting an orange hue over the garden. It was about the same time in the evening as when Sasuke left her. Left them. She sniffled and shook her head, tossing curls out of her eyes and brushing the hair behind her ears. That was when she noted her wrists. She looked at them tiredly, eying the thick chorded threads that held her life together now.
This made her glance down at the backs of her ankles over her shoulder, seeing the same black chords holding together the flesh there. They weren't as easy to see through her fishnet stockings, but the ones on her wrists glared at her. Sasuke had the same thing on his arms too…his threads were smaller and thinner though…and they eventually went away to only leave scars. But, he hid them constantly; they were a sign of weakness. She wondered if, possibly, hers were a sign of weakness too; they sure as hell bothered her enough to be. But, at the same time, they linked her to him; and she had Hidan to thank for that.
"They're not so bad, you know?" She looked up, hearing the quiet voice next to her and wondering who got here undetected by her ears.
"They smell good too…They let other people smell exactly what you smell like on the inside." The second voice was deeper, a little more vicious and threatening. She quivered at the sound of it, seeing Zetsu standing near her, though he was good enough to keep his distance. She scoughed slightly, still holding her hand up and glancing at her wrists once more.
"So is it as disgustingly evil as Hidan says I am on the inside?" She wondered and heard two agreeing chuckles. But, he shook his head, resting a hand lightly on the edges of the closed bottom to his protective fly trap.
"It's a good smell." The quiet side promised with a glimmering eye.
"It's delicious." The black side had that otherworldly voice, deep and threatening, but when happy and content it sounded so. The two sides nodded once more, murring in content as she looked over her shoulder at him once again, smiling softly.
"I hope you're right…" She whispered quietly, closing her eyes once again.
"What's wrong, Hotaru-chan?" The white side made the head tilt, his mouth saddened, but still a gentle smile.
"Yes…whose hurt you this time? We're the only ones who can taste you; we've decided." The black side murred evilly, thinking of eating Hidan for harming the Uchiha he wanted for himself. He would eat Hidan if he harmed Itachi too. The Uchihas were HIS if anyone was going to do any tasting or eating of them. She smiled gently too, shaking her head lightly.
"No one…You cannot protect me from someone who is now a ghost." She shook her head slowly, reaching down with a finger and running it lightly over the coarse thread.
"We can help you…We can." The black side grinned.
"He means, we can help you forget, for a time being." The white side offered kindly, holding out a blanched hand to her. She tilted her head, turning to face him, keeping her back against the pole still.
"How can you do that? We're not allowed to touch, remember?" She smiled, folding her arms over her breasts once more and watching him as the black side visibly cringed. The glowing yellow of his eye winced before he bit his side of the mouth, his black hand gripping down on the fly trap. The white side smiled softly.
"We promise, we can help you forget without hurting you." He offered her his hand again. "We know how lonely you are." He murmured and she whimpered, knowing that it was probably true. It was why she had taken a shining to him; even if he did want to eat her. He knew how lonely she was on the inside. And she hadn't even told him anything about herself. He knew nothing; other than the fact that Sasuke was Itachi's little brother, had run away, and she was searching for him. She walked over slowly; her feet making no sound on the bamboo walk way. Reaching out with a trepid hand she paused, nipping at her own lower lip and hesitating. Though she knew he could keep the black side in check every now and then, she also knew the black side had a mind of its own.
The hand reached for hers again and she sighed, nodding slowly with her own gentle smile and taking his hand. He jerked her into him, wrapping both arms around her tightly, making her yelp in surprise. She flinched, but he failed to move, his arms holding her close to his bare chest, one sliding beneath her hair to hold her head; fingers every now and then running through her curls. His other hand rest on her lower back, keeping her strongly in place. He rest his cheek against her head, sighing softly as he inhaled her scent.
"We know how empty you are inside…and how you long to be held close by someone that cares." He whispered, putting his lips to her ear, causing her eyes to widen and her to draw in a soft breath. She put a hand against his chest, getting ready to push away, but interested in what he had to say. "You don't want empty words, empty promises. The promise of love and adoration from those that can do nothing for you any more…you don't want that. You want an embrace; you want someone to hold you and to mean it, to remind you that you're alive." He kissed her ear softly before pulling back, loosening his hold on her slightly.
This would be her chance to push away, to get the safe distance once more, the arms length distance she had been commanded to keep from him and the few extra feet they had decided among themselves to keep. She didn't believe his white side had wanted to be a cannibal. She didn't think he wanted to hurt her or Itachi or anyone else. He just did it to keep the black side happy.
"You're talking about yourself too…aren't you, Zetsu?" She murmured, looking up at him with both hands on his chest now. One on the black side, one on the white. The longer she stayed near him the more likely the black side was tempted to attack, but she couldn't resist. She was enjoying the warmth of him near her. Maybe it was the fact that she had been thinking about Sasuke recently, that she had been attacked by Hidan and was now being told she wasn't as evil as he proclaimed; but she didn't want to leave him.
"Yes, we get as lonely as you sometimes, little Hotaru-chan. If not lonelier." He smiled at her softly, each side working in unison with each other now; for a brief moment.
"We don't like being kept apart from the rest of the world…" The black side mumbled, its eye glowing violently in the now almost set sun. "We just have no choice." The fly trap around him quivered, threatening to close on her, causing her to blink and look up at him with fear tinging the corners of her eyes.
"Thank you, Zetsu…I needed this…but, I need to get back inside." She started to push off, but the black hand wrapped tightly around her lower back again, tugging her lower body close, causing her to look up at him again.
"They do smell VERY good…almost as good as your natural scent." The white hand reached for one of her hands, grabbing hold of her wrist tightly and pulling it up to his face, pressing it to the side of his nose as he inhaled. Crusted blood had gathered around the chords over the course of the few hours that she had had them.
"Z-zetsu…really…this was very sweet, but I need to go inside now. It's getting dark." She muttered again, knowing that he had no control over this, but he did to some extent. She was starting to get scared, very scared; but she didn't want to hurt Zetsu or have anyone hurt him. She really liked him; like she did Garra.
"Of course, how much more natural can get you than the smell of your own blood?" He seemed to be ignoring her, taking in her smell, beginning to kiss her forearm lightly.
"Zetsu-san, please…let me go." She whimpered, beginning to try and push away, trying to tug her hand from his grip. He was unnaturally strong; close to Kisame strong. Yet he was so thin and normal seeming; it was odd.
"We needed this hug as much as you did, Hotaru-chan. You don't know how so few people we have to hold close." He murmured, the white side's eye softening deeply as it looked down at her. He let go of her hand, stroking her hair gently and resting his cheek against the top of her head once more.
"I can only guess, Zetsu-san…but please, I've been held enough…I want to go inside now." Her voice was soft, almost a whimper. He kissed the side of her head, as though she were a lover or a daughter he hadn't seen in years.
"We want to let you go, Hotaru-chan…We do…" He whimpered in response, making her quiver. "We just can't. We don't want to NOT feel someone's arms around us for years again…It gets cold, even inside here." He shivered and she blinked back tears; curse her big heart.
"I know, and if you let me go, I'll hug you often. I will. I know how lonely you are on the inside, I know." She looked up at him, kissing his white cheek softly, running a hand along his jaw line as she did. "But, you have to let me know I can trust you TO hug you again by letting me go now." He looked into her eyes. Green…a color he loved and trusted, but hated at the same time. He got so tired of seeing green that he hated it; but it was a color he associated with safety and comfort. He loved it; he loved looking into her eyes.
"We're of two minds on it…" The black side murmured, making her look over to it.
"Please, Zetsu-san. Don't you want this? Don't you want me?" She pleaded with him. He studied her for a long time, both sides waiting and looking patiently at her. Finally he shook his head, gripping down on her wrist again, making her wince slightly as his thumb pressed hard into her stitches. "Please, Zetsu-san! Let go, please!" She began to tug and push against him again, but he shook his head, the fly trap around him quivering again. He threatened to close on her, if he did he would bite her; the black side would win and he would devour her.
"I know you can do it! Just let go!" She whined, trying to jerk her hand away.
"Careful, if you break open the stitches Kakuzu will have your head; and we'll have the rest of you." He grinned madly at her and she stared in disbelief.
"Zetsu, you don't want to do this! Just let go! I'll hug you if you let go!" She cried out, beginning to kick at his legs, trying to free herself in any way possible now. The door slid open, spilling a pool of light onto them, causing him to look up. She jerked her head around and looked over her shoulder with wide eyes. Itachi stood in the doorway, flanked by Nikoru who peered over his shoulder with wide eyes.
"Zetsu, release the girl." Itachi didn't sound upset, he didn't seem worried, he just studied the situation like a father that had caught his daughter kissing a boy on the porch front. Zetsu's eyes glowed in the night, looking just like Kakuzu's; the unblinking eyes of a devil.
"She hugged us first." The black side cooed, touching his lips to her forehead. Hotaru looked between the two of them, quivering in Zetsu's strong grasp.
"Zetsu, let her go. You can't eat her, it's a rule from Leader, remember?!" Nikoru tried to push Itachi out of the way, but he wouldn't budge. He glared at her, shooting a hand out to grab hold of the door frame and block her from moving past him.
"Then she was a fool for putting herself in danger; but that does not give you the right to hold her captive. Release her." Itachi turned his gaze back to Zetsu, continuing on with the conversation as if Nikoru had never stepped in. The white side blinked, his eye softening and a low whisper leaving his lips, one Hotaru nor anyone could decipher.
"We're sorry…We said we were sorry…" He murmured, the white hand releasing her hand. She pulled it into her breasts for safe keeping, starting to tug against the black hand that held her close.
"She's so close…so close we can smell her…We don't WANT to let her go." The black side murred again, the voice deep and threatening, daring Itachi to come closer.
"Would you like me to get her myself?" He wondered calmly, arching a brow and tilting his head ever so slightly. The black side winced softly, "I can help you if you need me to." Itachi offered a hand this time, a glint playing in the corners of his crimson colored eyes. Hotaru looked over her shoulder at him, her eyes flitting between them frantically. She didn't want Zetsu hurt on her account, and she didn't want to be hurt on her own account.
"You would hurt the girl…We will keep her to protect ourselves too…" The black hand tightened around her waist and she yelped again.
"I will offer my services one more time before I take the girl by force." Itachi spoke quietly and deadly. Nikoru bounced on the balls of her feet.
"Come on, Zetsu. Let her go! I know you don't want to get hurt and we don't want you hurt either!" She pleaded, hands resting on Itachi's arm as she leaned over it and pleaded.
"Let her go." The white side mumbled, glancing down at the fear on Hotaru's face as the fly trap threatened to close again, this time flinching instead of quivering.
"She's needed for protection now…" The black side mumbled, but he shook his head.
"She's not if you let her go. Besides, you still want hugs, don't you?" The white side attempted to coax and manipulate the black side. Itachi cleared his throat, reminding them of the threat that loomed. Hotaru looked up at Zetsu again.
"All the hugs you can handle if you promise to release me now and every time. Just let me go, Zetsu-san, please." She leaned up and kissed the white cheek one more time. His eyes closed.
"Let her go…please…" He murmured, straining not to let a whimper break his voice. But, the black side shook his head again.
"Want her…She's wanted and loved here…And will be even further once devoured. You know this." It hissed; Hotaru took this as her time to move. She knew what sayings like that usually led to, she knew what ominous words and tones like that usually meant. Garra had used them too often around her for her not to.
"I'm sorry, Zetsu. But, I promise, I'll still hug you after this. Even if we have to go through this game every time." She nodded her head, then turned to Itachi's extended hand. She twisted in Zetsu's grasp, reaching out her now freed hands and grabbing hold of Itachi's hand, surprising his face into emotion. Nikoru grinned, knowing that Hotaru was resourceful when she needed to be. Itachi waited a moment, Zetsu's black side still refusing to let go of Hotaru.
"Itachi, pull!" Nikoru hit his arm hard, glaring at him as he continued to watch Hotaru tug herself out of Zetsu's grasp.
"Release her!" The white side commanded again, this time his voice loud and annoyed.
"No! She's ours now! She came willingly, she's ours!" The black side snarled, gripping hold of her even tighter, making her gasp for air.
"Itachi, help me pull or so help me God when I get out of this I'm going to give YOU to him in exchange!" Hotaru snarled, reaching out with her other hand and aiming to grab hold of him with both hands. He smirked and finally clasped his hand on her own, just as her second hand gripped down on his arm. He began to tug at her and Nikoru began to tug at him.
"Get off me! I don't need your help!" He snapped at her over his shoulder, but she laughed, grunting with a tug.
"Oh shut up, you're a little guy, face it. You need help." Nikoru shook her head. Itachi turned to stare at her, swatting at her with his free hand.
"I said let go of me!" He snapped another time. Hotaru drove her nails into the inside of his wrist and palm, making him turn back to her with a glare. She was glaring at him harder though, almost away from the snarling Zetsu.
"Shut up and pull, dammit!" She snapped, Zetsu finally releasing her when he felt the coarse thread on her ankles scraping against him. She fell to the floor with a loud cry and thud, gasping for breath as she continued to clutch to Itachi's hand tightly. He looked down at her as Nikoru grinned and released him without him paying attention-for once-so he almost fell forward onto Hotaru. She slowly looked up at him, staring into his eyes and feeling that weird feeling she had been thinking about earlier.
"Are you blushing?" He frowned and let go of her hand, but she hesitated to let go of his. She snapped out of it, shaking her head and releasing him, getting up on her own. Turning and looking at Zetsu, she saw him beginning to close and shrink away into the night.
"Hey, Zetsu," He glanced up at her as the fly trap began to close around his form, encasing him slowly in darkness. "I don't hold anything against you; I understand." She smiled and winked, blowing him a kiss. She watched the white side of him blush and for a moment she wondered if that was the real Zetsu, the one that had no black side to argue with.
"Thank you, Hotaru-chan…" He murmured before closing completely. She turned back to see Itachi going inside, leaving Nikoru to run over to her and hug her tightly. She beamed, snorting a giggle brightly.
"You looked so silly being pulled away from him, you know that?" Hotaru sighed, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.
"Thank you, Nikoru-chan. That means a lot to me." She laughed softly and Nikoru beamed, shutting the door behind herself.
"Yup, I know. It's why you love me!" She grinned, then tilted her head, resting it on Hotaru's shoulder as they walked. "So, why did you hug him? What were you out there for in the first place?" She wondered and Hotaru sighed, fighting back the flood of memories that being outside had brought on.
"Nothing…just watching the sun set." She mumbled, glancing at Itachi as he glanced over his shoulder at her, obviously eaves dropping. "Hey, Nik?" She stopped and turned to her best friend, who paused and turned to her too, smiling gently.
"Yeah, hun?" She tilted her head and waited patiently for her to speak.
"Do you think He thinks of me, ever?" She looked at the floor, embarrassed for asking, her cheeks turning a rose color.
"I think he thinks of you a lot." She smiled gently, touching her friend's arm lightly and nodding. "Come on, let's go make some chahan." She began to guide Hotaru into the kitchen, smiling as gently as she could. Hotaru nodded and sighed, trying to smile too, but having a little trouble. She never had gotten to even say good-bye properly, let alone hug him good-bye. She wondered if Zetsu ever go to tell his loved ones good-bye the right way…
