Chapter 6: Chapter 6: Thomas
Chapter 6-Thomas
Author's Note: First I wanted to thank and acknowledge those that have messaged me, reviewed, or favorite this story. I really am glad that you enjoy it.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Mr. Spencer- Tuesday Afternoon
I had told Blaine on Monday morning that I would be there for him and I fully intended to be. My sister struggled with her identity and she was much older than Blaine when she came out of the closet. She didn't do it when she lived here in Westerville because she knew it wouldn't be well received. Blaine had a rough day yesterday and I knew that this would be a rough transition.
Quite honestly, I think a lot of the guys were shocked by the discovery that Blaine was gay because Blaine was a pretty masculine guy, a tremendous runner, and in excellent shape. He dressed classy, but not overly so. He got along well with the guys, always giving high fives, pats on the back, and smiles as encouragement. He came off as flirtatious, but he was that way with everyone. I saw him as a natural leader because he was such an optimist, even though he was only a freshman. He did a great job uplifting the guys' spirits. However, he was his own worst enemy as he was driven but also a perfectionist. He would get so upset if he thought he failed his teammates and try over and over. I didn't want to lose him because that quality is golden in an athlete. Blaine listened to my advice, strived to achieve the goals we set, and did it with a great attitude.
Michael was missing that positive attitude. He was a good athlete but hard to coach. I wasn't really looking forward to our talk because Michael had expressed that he would rather quit than be on the team with Blaine. I thought Michael was angry about Blaine's attraction to him and he didn't know how to handle it. I don't think talking is going to fix all that's wrong between them, but I have to try. If I could get them to talk, we could come up with a compromise.
Michael arrived in the locker room first.
"Remember, be honest, but be respectful. I know that you are mad at him, but yelling at him or calling him names isn't going to change him. But maybe we can come up with a way to help make you both more comfortable being on the team together."
"Or what, you're going to get me suspended like you did with Derek?" Michael accused.
"Michael, Derek was suspended for physically attacking Blaine and using bullying language. I will report any instances that I witness, no matter who it comes from, and that includes you," stated Mr. Spencer matter-of-factly.
"I told you yesterday that if he apologizes for embarrassing me and doesn't watch me undress in the locker room, I would try," Michael said
Blaine walked in timidly. I hoped his day was better today than it was yesterday.
"Hey, Anderson, please sit down, son. I think you and Michael need to have a serious conversation," I stated calmly. "Michael, do you have something you want to say to Anderson?"
"Blaine, I'm going to start by saying that I said some things I shouldn't have said. I crossed the line, especially when I punched you, and I shouldn't have told the guys; it wasn't really my business to tell. You just caught me off guard. You were my best friend." Michael cleared his throat. "I guess I just never thought that you could be gay, and it freaked me out. I mean, you've slept over at my house, we change in the same locker room, and you've had romantic feelings for me. I don't know what you expected from me, but I'm straight, man. I just don't know how to act around you anymore. I know I'm going to hurt you when I say this, but I'm just not sure if we are still friends. I think you completely disrespected me when you decided to declare those kinds of feelings in front of everybody. You didn't respect my privacy and my feelings." He lowered his eyes so that he didn't catch Blaine's gaze. "But we are still teammates so I will try to respect you if you respect me."
Blaine raised his eyes toward Michael and then dropped his head immediately back down. For the split second that he showed his expression, I could see shame and regret all over his face. "Michael, I really am sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way or disrespect you. Actually, I never thought I would embarrass you. I didn't think it through; I just acted on my feelings but I promise that I'll never do that again." Tears started to stream down his face. "You're my best friend and I just can't believe I screwed everything up. I understand if you and I aren't friends anymore. I hate that. I will miss your friendship. I know my feelings have been a mess throughout all of this, but I didn't realized that this messed with your feelings, too. I wish I could take this all back."
I felt so bad for Blaine in that moment. His pain and his despair were written all over his face. It made my heart ache so much for him. I patted his shoulder.
Blaine wiped the tears from his eyes. "I really am sorry and I promise to respect you. I hope you can do the same for me. I know that you aren't attracted to me. I will never publically display any feelings or affection toward you again because I don't ever want to do anything to upset you."
"Ok," said Michael. "I do feel that you and I shouldn't change in the same area. I know I'm not the only one that doesn't feel comfortable. "
I spoke up, "Blaine, is that ok with you?"
Blaine nodded. "I can do that. But Michael, I need you to do something as well. Please just tell me the truth. Are you responsible for the dummy in my locker?"
"What dummy? Blaine, I didn't put anything in your locker. I don't know who did."
"Blaine, why don't you hang back and tell me about what happened? I thank you both for being willing to put hard feelings aside and talk everything out." I shook Michael's hand. "Thanks son."
"Blaine, why don't you go to my office?" Blaine got up slowly and walked to my office. "What are you referring to?"
"Yesterday, there was a ventriloquist dummy in my locker with the word FAG carved into it. It had a condom shoved in its mouth and a belt strung around its neck. It honestly scared me to death. It was gone this morning when I checked my locker though."
"Come on Blaine, I think you and I need to go see Mr. Jacobs about this. This is harassment, possibly even a threat, and I wish you would have told me about this yesterday. I know you may not be comfortable talking to the principal about this, but we need to. I'm glad that you told me. Have you told your parents?"
Blaine shook his head. "Not about that, no, but I did tell them about some of the other things that happened yesterday."
"Come on, son. Let's go. I'm really proud of you for the courage you displayed. I know that was difficult for you. I truly respect you, Blaine. Don't ever be afraid of who you are. Remember, there always is going to be people that don't understand and don't like that part of yourself, but as long as you carry your head high and keep that charm about you, I know you will be fine. And remember, you can come talk to me any time that you need to."
"Thank you," Blaine said. "Thank you!"
As we headed down to the principal's office, I reflected over what just happened in the locker room. I truly thought that both boys did a great job staying calm. I had hope that everything would settle down. I wish I would've known at that time that it was the calm before the storm. I wasn't prepared for all that would happen down the line.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Blaine, Westerville Central High
I made it through the entire school day today with a few less tears and a little more confidence than the previous day. I had made up my mind to pay no attention to the gazes and pointing fingers. I knew I needed to develop a thicker skin. I was gay. I was ok with it and I had to stop caring if everyone else was accepting of it. It was part of who I was, but it didn't have to define my whole existence. I wasn't going to allow it to dictate my life. I liked sports, I was going to fight to stay on the teams I was on, and I was going to take some risks that I was afraid to take before.
After third period, I saw the school bulletin board announcing club signups and events. Several things caught my eye. I was just a freshman but there were a few things that I could be part of. The first one that caught my eye was the Glee Club auditions. They would be Thursday afternoon. I loved to sing. My mom and Cooper were very musical. My mom played the piano at church, although we didn't attend church last week due to the chaos last weekend. My brother and I had started doing Community Theater shows since I was five or six years old. Cooper wanted to be an actor when he was in middle school, so mom enrolled us in classes about the same time. After doing quite a few roles, I had gained confidence in myself as a singer and an actor, but we didn't really have any clubs or activities available in middle school. I thought about auditioning for a few gigs at some theme parks this summer, but I had soccer camp and track practice, so I didn't try out. Also, when I mentioned it to the guys, several of them laughed and cracked a comment or two about it being "gay." Well, I was gay, and I didn't care what they thought about that anymore. I wasn't going to let them hold me back from now on, because I didn't want to be bound by what they thought of me.
I wrote my name on the sign-up sheet for the Glee club. I also noticed that they had a fall production of The Wizard of Oz. I wrote my name on that list as well. I figured that I could prepare a piece and use it for both auditions. I looked through some other clubs, but decided that with the teams I was on, that was enough extracurricular activities for now.
Although I loved to sing, I honestly wasn't just signing up for that reason. I thought I needed to open myself to a new group because the people I had considered friends had shown that they weren't really who I thought they were. Maybe that wasn't quite fair; there were a couple people in my concert band that spoke to me today. I just needed to surround myself with the right kinds of people.
Still, I wasn't ready to completely give up on the 'friends' I had. I reasoned that some of them had freaked out. I mean, I was confused about being gay myself not long ago. I'd had so many questions and conflicting thoughts that I started researching for information myself. It turns out that a lot of what I had heard through gossip was stereotypical. I realized that several of my friends were probably as confused about it as I had been.
Maybe I needed to reach out to others that were out of the closet. Unfortunately, there weren't a lot of people here at Central that fit that description. There were a couple of girls, Leslie and Diane, who were seniors, but they stayed to themselves and stayed in trouble. Then there was Thomas.
Thomas was a junior. He was one of those that didn't get a chance to come out of the closet on his own, because it was pretty obvious. When he was in eighth, and he was confronted by a couple of jocks that were teasing him in art class. One of the boys called him gay and he just blurted out "yeah, so, what about it? Why should you care?" When they started making jokes, he responded, "You're just jealous because I never checked you out, and I never will, because I'm not interested in boys that still have their mommas dress them." I had to say I admired that feistiness. I needed to develop that approach myself, so I decided the best way to learn that quality would be from Thomas himself.
At lunch, I grabbed a tray and walked over to the table where Thomas was always sitting. "Um, hey, Thomas."
"Um, hi yourself. Blaine, right? If the rumors are true, you've crossed over to the dark side, right," he said with a little laugh.
I nodded, "yeah, I guess," I said sheepishly.
"Well, welcome to the club! We meet Fridays at dusk and dance around a disco ball. And we have some pretty risqué orgies."
"Um, really?" I scratched my head.
"No, man! Just messin' with you. Lighten up." Tomas chuckled.
"Oh, sorry," I said with a giggle.
"Don't apologize. Don't give anyone any excuse to feel you are ashamed of anything. They prey on that. Sit down. I don't bite, although I do nibble from time to time."
My cheeks turned bright red.
"Hey, I'm kidding. I know I'm not your type, and you're not mine. I like mine tall, dark, and handsome, and you resemble Frodo Baggins in the height department. Although the curls are cute, I like straight hair, just not on straight guys. Honestly, I've been waiting for you to come and talk to me, though."
"Well, all this just happened Saturday."
"You mean, the gay fairy sprinkled you Friday night then?" He joked.
"Well, no! I've known for awhile, but I didn't think anyone else did."
"Blaine, gaydar is not a myth. Besides, I've watch you around the girls, and you have been practically ignoring all the advances. It's pretty funny, actually. You might want to be more discreet about checking out the guys in the lunchroom."
"Was I that obvious?"
"You weren't extremely obvious, but I knew what to look for. I want you to look around the room. Look at the guys at that table there. Watch their body language, look at their clothes, their hair. What do you notice?"
"Um, I don't know! They look normal to me."
"Blaine, look at me and then look at Nathan over there. Any differences?"
"Well, Nathan looks like he just rolled out of bed. He's wearing loose, wrinkled, baggy Wranglers jeans. His hair looks like he ran a comb through it and ran out the door. Slightly wrinkled charcoal gray cotton t-shirt, and a pair of Nike tennis shoes. You, on the other hand, you apparently took some time to get ready this morning. You're wearing a salmon pink polo with a Brooks brother's vest, with a pair of Arizona skinny jeans. And your loafers are nice."
"What are you wearing?"
"A Ben Sherman Sweater, black skinny jeans, and …"
"I'm going to stop you there." Thomas called a sophomore over. "Hey man, what is Blaine wearing today?
"Um, a sweater and some jeans."
"What am I wearing?" he asked.
"Uh, pullover shirt and jeans. The shirt's pink," he muttered. "Why?"
"Nothing, just trying to make a point."
"So you can tell I'm gay by what I'm wearing?"
"No, but you actually checked out Nathan when I asked you." He laughed. "Do you think that guy right there had a clue what kind of jeans we are wearing?"
"Ok, I got your point." I laughed.
"In all fairness, I didn't figure it out immediately. After hearing the gossip, it just confirmed what I thought may be true. You've never really talked to me, so I wasn't sure. But now, there's no doubt in my mind."
"I feel so clueless."
"Hey, there's no handbook out there with a checklist or anything. It's just been my experience, and that will all develop over time. For example, your precious Michael is totally straight."
"Yeah, I know, and I have the bruise to prove it."
"Man, I wouldn't waste my time with the guys here in Westerville. The ones that are gay are so far in the closet, they never see the light of day," said Thomas.
"So there are other gay guys here at our school?" I asked innocently.
"Uh yeah, but don't ask. I'm not for outing anyone, and if they are in the closet, they are probably going to stay there for awhile. Actually, if this hadn't happened, I would've suspected you would've remained there for awhile." He smiled with a quirky grin. "Hey, no offense or anything. Just something I noticed about the athletic ones."
"Uh, none taken, I guess," I said. I finished my lunch. "Well, thanks for talking to me."
"Hey, I noticed you signing up for some things earlier. Are you going to try out for the musical?"
"Yeah, I think so! Why, are you?"
"No, I suck at acting. I guess I'm so fabulous in real life that pretending to be anyone else is just unrealistic, but I've helped run the lights and worked on the set on the last few musicals, so I guess I'll see you when they start rehearsals."
"Um, ok," I said.
Jenny waved at me and headed in my direction.
"Hey, Jenny," I said as I waved. "What's going on?"
"Not much. Hey, you ready to go to class?"
"Yeah," I said. "Bye, Thomas."
The rest of the day was uneventful until I sat down with Michael and Mr. Spencer. Honestly, I was dreading it. I was so sure that Michael would be defensive and full of venom, like he had been before. I hoped he had calmed down, although he pretty much stated that our friendship was over, which I had already assumed. At least I could remain with the team. I had contemplated resigning from the track team if it really bothered Michael. After Derek was suspended, I thought there might have been some hard feelings. He was one of our star runners.
I was surprised that Michael voiced some reasonable issues and I wasn't going to complain about any of them. I just wanted everything to calm down and I wanted to make things right. He made some valid points. I never really meant to embarrass him; I was trying to be romantic and sweet. I guess I hadn't really considered his viewpoints on the whole thing.
In reflection, I shouldn't have brought up the dummy, even if I had a suspicion that he had something to do with it. After speaking to Mr. Jacobs, I didn't know if we would ever track down the perpetrator. He thanked me for letting him know and he told me that he would see what they could find out. That's basically code for "Sorry son, but you're out of luck." But I left his office with some hope that things were going to get better. I was actually looking forward to Thursday.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Michael, Blevins Residence
"Hey, Derek! What's up?" Derek had stopped by and I was filling him in on the conversation in the locker room. "So how long are you out?"
"A week. Apparently, the coach heard him hit the locker and a few guys ratted me out."
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah, my dad doesn't think it will stand. He donates money to the booster programs, and with my brothers being former stars and all, I don't see how it will actually stick." He ran a hand through his hair and chuckled. "It sounds to me like all I have to do is take a few acting classes from you and I may not even have to get my parents involved. Do you really think they bought it?"
"Are you kidding? You know how clueless Blaine has always been. Mr. Spencer doesn't really want be involved in all of this. He just wants the team to get back on track. I bet you could probably convince him to let you back in if you apologize to Blaine."
"Man, I'm not sure I want to damage my rep. I'm just not sure I want people to think I'm sensitive toward that fag. I mean, you could get away with it because you two were friends and he owed you an apology. I don't think people would buy it from me though. Besides, I get out of that place for a week." He chuckled. "So what do you have planned for fairy boy when I get back?"
"Actually, I'm not planning anything yet. I'm waiting for the track and soccer seasons to be over. I really don't want to jeopardize my spot on the teams. I think that they may lax up later, but right now, they are going to be watching a little too closely, especially after Blaine brought up the dummy incident. I think it scared the crap out of him. You should've seen his face."
"Good, that was the intention," he smirked.
"You should've seen him today. He waltzed right over to Thomas, ate lunch with him, and then he signed up for the musical. He really wants to cash in that fag membership card, I guess."
"Well, hey at least he's picking a guy a little more his type. I mean, Queenie will help convert him to full fairy mode before you know it," he laughed. "So, you are just going to let it all go for now?"
"No, I have it all planned out. This isn't over yet. Not by a long shot!"
Author's Note: Ok, I wanted to lighten the mood a little today. I'd love to know what your impression is of Thomas so far. He's going to be fun to write. I'd love to know your thoughts.
