Title: Consummation Interlude
Characters: Renji, Byakuya (ByaRenBya)
Rating: M
Summary: Omake series to 5th part of Renji – Reflection, "Consummation".
Warning: Frank language. Fluff. Oxymoron?
Disclaimer: Own no part of Bleach, not even bleach
x
Omake 1 K.I.S.S
"Insert tab A into slot B?" Histugaya's voice was quizzical. "That's not what you told me, Rangiku."
Matsumoto tossed her head. "They're men, I had to keep it simple."
White eyebrows lifted over teal eyes. "I'm a man too, the last time I checked."
"Ah, Toushiro, but you had me to guide you, every inch of the way. Besides, I'm sure there are things Kuchiki Taichou will enjoy teaching Abarai-kun."
"Speaking of lessons," the deep voice was gravely amused, "did we ever complete the advanced course?"
"All but the final assessment." Matsumoto cocked her head. "Apparently, the testing requires an entire day."
"A challenge indeed." The pale lips smirked. "I daresay it will require much knowledge, skill and stamina."
"Oh, I'm sure it will be a breeze for a genius like you, Toushiro."
x
Omake 2 Archive 5
Renji bent forward to read the various titles on the shelves, running his fingers lightly across the spines. Abruptly, he straightened, and looked over his shoulder. "Stop staring," he said, "you're distracting me."
"I beg your pardon?"
Renji harrumphed and returned to his task. He had asked Byakuya if he could check the Kuchiki archives for records of past taichous of the Fifth Division. Without turning back, he said, "You're doing it again."
Silence returned to the room as Renji continued to examine the lower shelves.
"Renji."
"Hmm?"
"You never return to Soul Society with the clothing your gigai uses."
"Rukia picked them," was the short reply.
"Ah."
Renji finished surveying one row, then straightened and stretched, rolling his shoulders and back muscles, before bending again to his task.
He felt a rush of reiatsu approach and his hips were gripped firmly as Byakuya leaned over and into him, intent obvious.
"Really," he growled. "I would never have slept with you if I'd known you were going to jump me all the time."
"A misconception on your part. I make no demands at work." The slender hands were busy at the front of his hakama.
"That's because," Renji huffed, "there's a compound and fence between us." He glared sideways. "And that's not meant as a challenge." He gasped as sharp teeth nipped at his right buttock. He could feel the sting even through the cloth.
"You need new hakama," Byakuya muttered thickly. "Yours are worn thin as paper."
"What's wrong with that?" demanded Renji. His eyes were starting to cross. Those hands! "The cloak will cover them."
"Not when you are training." Byakuya's reply came in snatches. He was delicately exploring a dimple. "I would not have others view what is mine."
"That's my ass you're talking about," said Renji tartly.
"I offer you the same courtesy."
"If it's on those terms… ummph… should we take this elsewhere?"
"Bend over and grip the bottom shelf." The deep voice was gravelly.
"Pervert."
"The view pleases me."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"The next time Inoue or Ishida visit, I will to speak to them about jeans."
"Are you sure? They're tight, hot and uncomfortable." Renji sounded dubious.
"I wish to test a theory." Byakuya's voice was smooth and uninformative. Renji shrugged. He would know in due course.
"I'm dressed. Are you ready to leave? Oh, good day, Satoshi-san. I'll go ahead if you want to speak to Byakuya."
"It's all right, Renji. I just wanted to give this to Byakuyashi." He handed over a small packet. "It's the security tape for Archive 5. Full visuals and sound."
"Thank you, Satoshi oji-san. I appreciate your thoughtfulness."
"Byakuya, you knew?"
Byakuya's lips curved upwards into a tiny smile. The make-up sex would be exemplary.
Omake 3 Kisses
"Renji."
"No, Byakuya. The answer is no."
"I thought so."
"What?" Renji finally turned to Byakuya. He had been composing the menu for the upcoming celebration of his promotion.
"That evening at Urahara's onsen was your first kiss."
"What do you mean? Of course I've been kissed before!"
A eyebrow lifted in challenge.
"Rukia."
"Your sister."
"Yuzu."
"Your best friend's sister."
"Matsumoto."
"An accident of mistaken identity."
"Stop looking so smug! I still haven't forgiven you for Archive 5."
"Interesting choice of words. You say you've 'been kissed before'. May I presume that I am also the recipient of your first kiss?"
"Byakuya, if you don't shut up about this, I'll…"
"I would certainly welcome any approaches of an amatory nature. … …
Are you departing so soon?"
"I'm going to train."
"I will accompany you. Senbonzakura will look forward to the exercise."
"You're not coming. You're only trying to get into my hakama again."
"That is most vulgar, Renji."
"Then what do you call Archive 5?"
"The felicitous conjunction of unbearable temptation and irresistible opportunity."
"And the security tape?"
"Fortuitous serendipity."
"You know, Byakuya, if you wanted to make a dirty tape of us, you should have just told me."
"You are not averse to the possibility?"
"Wouldn't have mentioned it otherwise, would I?"
"Let us proceed then. My study will serve admirably."
x
Omake 4 Perfectionist
"And buttons or zip?" Ishida asked, writing into his order book.
"Buttons. Those metallic studs are quite attractive." And convenient.
"Thank you, Kuchiki Taichou." Ishida shut his book, stood up, and bowed. "I will have Kurosaki or Rukia deliver them when they are ready."
A few weeks later, Renji stared at the pile of clothing in his arms.
"Try them on."
"Here?" Renji looked around the study.
"Is there a problem?"
"Just like this?"
A raised eyebrow.
"Okay, okay."
…
"Are you just going to sit there watching?"
Again, a raised eyebrow.
"Byakuya, there's no underwear in this pile, and I can't wear these with fundoshi."
"Unnecessary."
"There aren't any shirts either."
"Take down your hair."
"Haha, very funny."
"Leave the top button undone and turn around."
"Byakuya…"
"Now try on the next pair of jeans."
x
Omake 5 Little Lord Fauntleroy
Renji cursed as he brushed out his hair. Tendrils of hair curled around his arms, defeating his attempts to untangle them.
"Let me." Byakuya said, taking the brush from him. Somehow, Renji's hair seemed even more unruly tonight, clinging with fine static.
Renji sighed in relief. Byakuya's strokes were firm and brisk, and he could feel the gradual taming of his locks. "Ah. Thank you, Byakuya. I wish my hair was like yours."
A sudden thought struck Byakuya. "Renji, your hair, was it because…?"
Renji's eyes met Byakuya's in the mirror. "Your hair?" He laughed. "No, I'm foolish but not that foolish. I've always kept it long."
"Why? It troubles you so."
Renji flushed, dipping his head. "BecauseIhavecurls." He saw Byakuya's puzzlement. "Curls," he said more loudly. "It curls when short."
That night, Byakuya watched the slumbering Renji, still enchanted by the image of Renji with curls and unable to suppress his curiosity. For some reason, he felt like a boy of fifteen again.
'Senbonzakura,' he whispered.
'No, Taichou,' responded Senbonzakura firmly. 'That is an illegal order, and you know it.'
'He is asleep.'
'And he trusts us and will not awake even if he feels our reiatsu. Do not do it, Taichou.'
'A valid point. Scissors will have to do, I see, though they are not as precise.'
Senbonzakura considered. 'They would serve as more appropriate tools,' she acknowledged. 'Though Renji is hardly a new recruit to be hazed.'
'He is a new taichou,' Byakuya pointed out. Senbonzakura bowed and retreated.
When Renji awoke the next morning, something seemed different. He lifted his head and realized that the customary weight was gone. Lifting his hand to his hair, he felt a cluster of curls twine lovingly around his fingers. What?
Shooting upright, the first thing he saw was Byakuya kneeling quietly by the futon, though the expression in his face was unlike anything he had seen before. Half defiance and half unholy glee, the look of a schoolboy who knows that he has done wrong but will take the punishment for the crime because it has been so pleasurable. At his knees lay a thick twist of saffron-coloured hair and a pair of scissors.
Renji sighed in resignation. That face, he could not resist. "I should be furious, you know," he said finally.
"Certainly."
"My hair takes forever to grow."
"I understand."
"And I'm not wearing a wig."
"No, most insalubrious."
"So you'll have to figure out something."
"You have my word."
"So, why did you do it?"
"I desired to see you with curls."
"I expect lots and lots of make-up sex."
"It will be my pleasure."
"With role-playing."
"Yes, Abarai-sama."
x
Omake 6 Tactics
Renji abruptly sat upright in bed. "Lovers!" he exclaimed.
"That much is indicated," the pile of bedclothes besides him spoke in a sleepy voice. "Go back to sleep, Renji. You will need all your faculties when you face the Tenth Division tomorrow. As it is, you and Hinamori will certainly be defeated at Hitsugaya's and Matsumoto's hands."
"That's what I mean!" replied Renji. "Hitsugaya and Matsumoto are sleeping together."
"I am aware of that fact."
"You knew? How did you know?"
"Senbonzakura informed me."
"Senbonzakura tells you things like that? Why doesn't Zabimaru tell me anything?"
"That," returned a very dry voice, "is a question you should address to Zabimaru."
"What exactly did Senbonzakura say?"
"She reported that Hyourinmaru and Haineko have been companions for centuries. I inferred the rest."
"Wait, but Hitsugaya and Matsumoto have only… oh… I see."
Renji descended into thoughtful silence.
"More sex!"
The bundle of bedclothes rustled again. "Renji, you are expected at the division at 6 in the morning. Go to sleep."
"No, I mean, I'm sure that's one of the reasons they work so well together on the battlefield. They must have years of lovemaking on us. Byakuya, we've got plenty of time to make up for. Byakuya? Byakuya?"
Disgruntled, Renji lay back down and shut his eyes. Suddenly, he felt a warm hand brush him and Byakuya's voice sound huskily in his ear. "A most intriguing proposal, Abarai Taichou. I recommend we explore every possible detail."
Later that morning, Hinamori Momo glared at Renji, arms akimbo. "Abarai-kun, you stayed up all night with Kuchiki Taichou, didn't you? I can't believe you would do this today of all days!"
Renji grinned apologetically at Hinamori. "Sorry, Hinamori, we were discussing battle tactics and forgot the time."
"Battle tactics," snarled Hinamori. "That's certainly a new one."
