Chapter Six - Reacting
Killua woke up feeling better than he had in days; weeks even! Even when he woke up without Gon at his side, he still hummed happily as he walked into the shower. He noticed Gon's clothes in a pile in the corner of the bathroom and smiled. He took off his own clothes and got into the shower; that had to be the first sober shower he'd taken in weeks! It felt like the best one too. He changed still thinking about last night; hearing Gon moan in his ear. "He said my name!" was all Killua could truly think about. He tried to relive the moment in his head but he felt his cheeks burning and his body awakening. He shook the thought out of his head and though he would revisit it later at night when he was safe from showing his feelings to everyone.
He felt nervous and slightly embarrassed about seeing Gon but he knew that his friend probably had no memory of last night and would act as casual as ever. Killua walked out of the room and found Leorio and Kurapica sitting on the dining room table having breakfast.
"Morning everyone!" Killua said brightly and sat on the table with them. Kurapica looked up and smiled halfheartedly as he tried to keep his breakfast down. Leorio looked at Killua with a slight blush on his face but he did nothing more than mumble good morning back. Killua looked at the food in front of him and decided he was starving. He took a little bit of everything on his plate and started to devour it as he hummed happily.
"Shouldn't you be hung over too?" Kurapica asked looking at Killua's smiling face.
"I paid my dues yesterday, plus I didn't drink much" Killua said shrugging at Kurapica, his smile never leaving his face.
"You were sober? Last night?" Leorio asked. Killua nodded back and saw Leorio frown at him in confusion.
"Yeah I couldn't drink too much with the hang over I had in the morning so I just enjoyed seeing all of you drunk!" Killua said happily as he chewed his food.
"You're way to cheerful today" Kurapica said looking back at his food and turning slightly green. Killua laughed and just kept on chewing happily.
From across the table Leorio looked at him suspiciously. Why is Killua in such a good mood? Leorio thought to himself. He had dismissed Gon's problem as a wet dream but now seeing Killua in this good mood and then Gon telling him about the wet patch on Killua's back…
If Killua was telling the truth, which Leorio didn't doubt, and he was in fact sober when he went to bed...No, Leorio though, it was just his perverted mind playing tricks on him. Still, he thought that the way Killua acted towards Gon was much more affectionate than he remembered. The fact that they still slept together in spite of their age…and yesterday they were celebrating and drinking with girls that were all over them. If it'd been him at their age, Leorio would have taken all of those girls in to one room and locked the door for the entire weekend. Still Killua just threw the girls out and instead went to bed with Gon.
Leorio watched Killua chew his food and tease Kurapica about his hang over. He heard him laugh and thought he really wasn't the little boy he remembered. He knew Killua was no saint from the moment he met him, and after knowing about his family and his past, Leorio knew Killua and Gon weren't really the same age. Not mentally. Now seeing Killua at seventeen made him wonder more about him and this closeness he had with Gon. Gon was unbelievably naïve and trusting; anybody who wanted to could take advantage of a person like him. Especially if it was someone that he trusted as much as he trusted Killua. Leorio shook his head. He needed to stop thinking like that; Gon and Killua were best friends. There was no way Killua would betray that.
Gon stood some time later outside of the hotel suite's door. He had been running the same thoughts in his head for hours and now all he could feel was shame. He knew Killua was on the other side of that door and that just made it all the more difficult to open it. He didn't want to see Killua, he felt that if he saw him his face would go bright red and he would just enter in a state of panic. What was he supposed to say now? How was he going to act? He couldn't just go on about life like he had all this time. Now he knew how he felt about Killua and he just felt awful. To think that all this time Killua had been there for him, treating him like a friend and he, Gon, had been taking advantage of him.
Forcing Killua to share the same bed with him, hugging him all the time, demanding his attention; Gon had been so selfish to believe that they both wanted the same things because he knew Killua thought of him as his best friend. But now, everything had changed; Gon had been forcing himself on Killua all this time just to fulfill his own shameful purpose instead of being his friend. Of course Killua was acting distant and mean to him! He didn't want their relationship to go in the direction that Gon was leading it to!
No, Gon had to make amends for his lack of judgment and turn their relationship back to where it was supposed to be. He wanted Killua to stay with him, so he would do everything in his power to stop making him uncomfortable. With this new resolution in mind, Gon took a deep breath in and pushed the door open. Sure enough he saw Killua standing in the middle of the room in front of him. He took a deep breath and walked inside.
"Hey! I was waiting for you. Leorio and Kurapica are waiting for us in the hotel's dining room" Killua said happily. Gon felt his heart going a million miles per hour. He had to control himself; he had to stop acting like an overly affective creep.
"Right" he said and turned to walk outside again.
"Gon, wait up!" Killua said following him outside. They started to walk towards the elevator. Gon could see Killua from the corner of his eye; he had his hands in his pockets and he looked like he was trying to catch his eye. Gon tried as best he could to control the blood flow of his body from concentrating on his cheeks. Now that he finally understood what his feelings for Killua were, it was harder to focus on looking straight ahead. They got on the elevator and Gon felt a horrible tug in his stomach as he felt the small distance between the two of them in that enclosed space.
"Gon" Killua said and he felt forced to look at Killua. He looked back at Gon with his cheeks slightly rosy. Gon noticed he had a tank top on; he could see Killua's pale and silky skin shining against the blackness of the shirt. He felt the warmness growing in his midriff. He looked back in front of him.
"Hmm?" Gon responded trying to seem detached.
"Is everything okay?" Killua asked with a small voice.
"Mhm" Gon responded now looking up at the digital screen that showed them they still had a few more floors to go.
"Where-" Killua started to ask but Gon interrupted.
"I went out for breakfast with Miko-chan. We just talked and walked around for a while after that" Gon said not taking his eyes from the screen. Finally the door opened.
"Oh" he heard Killua say behind him. He walked out and started to walk stiffly towards the dining room. "Miko is the one-" Killua began but Gon interrupted again.
"Miko-chan is the pretty red head" Gon said reaching the dining room and spotting Leorio and Kurapica. Killua said nothing to Gon's last reply so they just walked in stiff silence towards their friends. Gon felt horrible being so cold to Killua but he felt like he had to fight back all impulses of being too nice with him. Regardless, he couldn't even look at Killua much less smile at him.
"Gon! Please tell me you're feeling as bad as me!" Kurapica said to Gon as he was sitting down and he froze. What was Kurapica talking about? Did Leorio say something to him? No, that made no sense.
"What?" Gon asked nervously as he sat. He saw Killua sit next to him from the corner of his eye.
"This hang over! You drank the same things I did and Leorio says he's fine" Kurapica said looking at Leorio resentfully. Gon let out a nervous laugh. Of course, the hang over.
"No I'm not doing so bad. I had a big breakfast; that made me feel much better. I was feeling really sick when I woke up" Gon said scratching the back of his head. He suddenly had a flash of Killua running his fingers through his hair. What was that? A memory? Or maybe it was the dream he had. Whatever it was it made his stomach turn into knots.
"We're did you go?" Leorio asked.
"I met Miko-san for breakfast" Gon said looking at Leorio. Leorio let out a laugh.
"Miko-chan huh? She's pretty!" Leorio said winking at Gon. Gon let out another quick laugh. The waiter came towards them to receive their order. He was grateful Leorio ordered for all of them because he wasn't the least bit hungry. What had that been? He ran his fingers through his hair again but he felt nothing.
"So tomorrow we're leaving" Leorio said looking at Gon and Killua. "You guys are all set to leave?" He asked them. Gon looked blankly back at him.
"Yeah we have to get on a bus the day after tomorrow. They told us they'd take us to the port so we could get a boat and sail off" Killua said when Gon failed to answer anything.
"You have to go on your own?" Kurapica asked curiously.
"Yeah, no boat or crew is willing to sail towards the Island. We have to rent out our boat and make our way there. Netero gave us a sea chart; according to that we should be getting there in two week, but most of the people we've talked to told us the weather is pretty unpredictable.
"It might take you longer?" Leorio asked. Gon saw Killua nod out the corner of his eye.
"We already arranged supplies for a month on the boat. We don't think it'll take us longer than that. In any case, Gon can catch us some food" Killua said and Gon saw him looking at him from the corner of his eye.
"Mhm" was all Gon managed to say looking up at Leorio and Kurapica.
"What are you going to do about the boat?" Kurapica asked looking at Gon. Silence again. Why couldn't he say anything? He felt his mind was completely blank.
"We've been practicing on our transferring out nen to protect larger objects" Killua said.
"Netero-san helped" Gon finally managed to say.
"Shu?" Kurapica asked and both of the boys nodded back.
"Yeah, he told us to practice before we met him and then made us practice with the air ship" Killua explained further, "Something that large is hard to focus on for a long amount of time, but we can synchronize to protect it when it needs it the most" Killua said.
"You managed to cover the entire air ship?" Leorio asked impressed.
"Not for too long, but the boat won't be nearly as big" Gon said starting to snap out of his trance. He could talk about this without being to intimate. Leorio and Kurapica both nodded back at them. The waiter came back with their food and as their conversation continued on their own guesses about the island and the troubles they would face Gon relaxed more and more. Though he still couldn't manage to look at Killua and had barely said two words to him since they came down. He even let himself laugh a couple of times from something Leorio said.
Soon though their conversation took the turn Gon was dreading. Leorio started to talk about last night and was being teased by Killua about the girl that he'd taken into his room. The very girl Gon had seen when he went over to Leorio's in the morning.
"Yeah well what can I say? I guess she just couldn't resist my charm" Leorio said looking smug.
"More like she was too drunk to resist your harassment" Killua said laughing.
"Whatever it was it still worked" Leorio said defensively and then smiling at Killua.
"I loved the fact that there was that one persistent girl hitting on Kurapica though" Killua said and Leorio and Killua laughed when Kurapica let out a frustrated sigh.
"Not even all the alcohol in the world" Kurapica said shaking his head not being able to hide his smile.
"Gon was the winner of the night" Leorio said. Gon felt himself blush; he really didn't want to be brought into the conversation.
"No" he said softly lowering his eyes to his hands.
"Yeah, I gave him one drink and suddenly he had all the girls in the pool ready to go up!" Leorio said looking at Gon amazed.
"It was really amazing, you should have seen it Killua" Kurapica said nodding and looking at Gon. Even Kurapica was joining in on the conversation without a care in the world and he felt like he wanted to run and hide.
"I'm just glad I got to see Gon drunk" Killua said with a laugh. Gon felt him looking at him. Gon tried so hard not too blush but it wasn't working; he tried to look down to hide it a bit more.
"It wasn't a big deal" Gon said with the same soft voice. "Talk about something else, anything else" Gon begged inside his head.
"He was quite de stud" Leorio said, "He had all those girls wrapped around his little finger" he continued. Please stop.
"Leorio was the happiest of them all" Kurapica said with a laugh. Gon felt his head was about to explode.
"Yeah I'm drunken Gon's number one fan" Leorio confessed. Gon felt Killua looking at him; why couldn't they talk about something else, anything else that didn't make him feel worse than he already did?
"Hear that Gon! For Leorio's sake" Gon saw Killua smiling at him from the corner of his eye, "We'll have to get you drunk more often" Killua said putting his hand on Gon's shoulders. Reacting as if Killua had passed his nen's electrical current with his touch, Gon jumped away from Killua's touch. He felt his heart going a million miles per hour.
"It was a onetime thing Killua! It's never going to happen again!" Gon practically screamed looking at Killua. They all felt silent; the whole restaurant turned to look at them. Gon saw Killua's smile slowly fade from his face.
"Gon" he heard Kurapica say softly. Gon looked back at Kurapica; he felt his face turn redder and redder. He needed to get out of there. He turned around and started to move away.
"Gon we were just joking" Leorio said to Gon. Leorio looked at Killua's face; he looked like Gon had just slapped him.
"I know. I have to go. I'm meeting Miko-san" he lied to them. Gon walked as quickly as he could out the restaurant.
Killua felt like someone had taken the air from around him. He felt sick, he didn't know what to do or what to grasp to. Gon remembered; he knew what had happened last night and he was disgusted. He couldn't even stand Killua's touch; Gon hated him. Killua could feel his lunch coming back up his throat. He got up from the table. He felt the world crumbling around him. Just breath, he told himself, just breath.
"Killua" Kurapica said but Killua was already running out of the restaurant on the opposite direction Gon had left through.
Kurapica and Leorio looked at the place Killua had disappeared to, astonished at what had just happened.
"What the hell?" Kurapica heard himself say. He looked sideways at Leorio who had a surprising look on his face; anger. Was he the only one who didn't know what was going on? "Leorio what's going on?" he asked him. Leorio turned and looked back at him.
"I'm not sure, but" he said and stopped himself.
"But?" Kurapica asked urging his friend to explain.
"But it's probably Killua's fault" he said looking back where Killua had left too. He couldn't help feel protective of Gon. He knew Killua had reacted like something had really hurt him but he knew Killua was the most sensible of the two. If something had hurt Gon, it had to be Killua's fault. He'd gotten that feeling from his conversation with Gon this morning; Gon was just too upset for it to be his fault. He had no idea what had happened to him. He felt his anger rise. Kurapica looked at Leorio's reaction; what the hell was going on?
Disclaimer : I do not own HunterxHunter.
Side Note: Sadness yes that was Gon's "logical" conclusion... I hope you enjoyed reading this! Again thank you so much for all your kind words and I've already update the corrections though I'm sure there will be some mistake or other along the way (aren't there always?) and for that I apologize. Keep on reading for I will most certainly keep on writing!
