Hope for the Hopeless

Chapter Seven: Scientist and the Captain


Holly lingered outside the laboratory as she peered in at the lone man, watching him move around the room in ease. A shaky, nervous breath escaped her pursed lips. To the agents who were passing by that particular part of the aircraft, she may appear to look slightly suspicious and shady as she loitered along the corridor, mumbling to herself and sighing every now and then. They left her alone for the most part, but not without sending her judging looks of wariness at her state of mind.

She was sent to take the vital recordings of the team after a quick meeting with the helicarrier's main attending doctor, Dr. Conway, who gave her a small satchel containing the medical equipment she needed for her rounds and an extensively packed suturing kit. He had also passed her the suit every other agent onboard the helicarrier were to wear, which now lay discarded on her bed. She was not going to be caught dead in that ghastly piece of stretchable leotard, no matter what kind of protection it offered.

For the past fifteen minutes, Holly had been pacing outside the laboratory where Dr. Bruce Banner was currently working to locate the cube. Phil had directed her to the lab, and had offered to accompany her, knowing that she was nervous about meeting Banner, but was called away by Fury at the very last moment to check on the conditions of the engines. On her way to the laboratory, she had already worked up the courage and gathered her nerves to meet the scientist. However, once her eyes were cast upon the figure moving around, checking the various computers littered around the room, the nerves and anxiety were back with a vengeance.

It was irrational, she knew, to be so afraid of someone she had never met before. But it was a fact that we all feared the unknown, however much we wished to convince ourselves otherwise. After the whole showdown between the Hulk and the mutated beast, Abomination, down in Harlem, Holly couldn't help but feel wary of the seemingly docile man and his ability to tear up the whole town.

Literally.

With his bare hands.

She let out a sharp exhale and pulled up her fist, rapping her knuckles hard against the sturdy glass doors before she could have a chance to pull away. Holly watched as Banner looked up from one of the smart tablet he was working on and met her eyes with a small frown. Her grip tightened on her satchel when Banner strode towards the glass door and punched in the access code, all the while fixating his dark brown eyes on the young woman.

"Dr. Banner? Um… Hi, I'm Holly Fairchild," The scientist looked at her warily, but stepped aside to let her in. "Am I disturbing you?"

Banner shook his head.

"You've been waiting outside for a long time, huh?" He mused, obviously having caught how the young woman had been loitering outside his lab for the past few minutes.

"Long? Oh no, not long," Holly replied hastily, shaking her head and flushing red. Her tongue felt thick and heavy in her mouth as she fought to get her words out without sounding like she just swallowed a bowl of marbles. "Not long at all. I just got here after getting a tour of the aircraft. This place is huge. Easy to get lost in."

Banner's brows rose at her stumbling reply and peered up at Holly from behind wiry glasses. "Is there something you need, Miss?"

"Oh uh, I'm here to take your vitals," She replied quickly. "I'm the team's uh, attending nurse, and I'm tasked to do that every morning so the medical lab can keep track of your state of health."

Banner let out a short chuckle and moved over to one of the beeping machines with Holly trailing after quietly.

"What, are they afraid I'm going to transform any time? They shouldn't have dragged me into this quandary if they're so terrified of me killing everyone onboard," He grumbled, the frown deepening on his forehead.

Holly's eyes widened in response as she took a step back away from the scientist and closer to the entrance. She looked back and took a mental image of the number of steps she needed to take to escape before he transforms and worried her bottom lip.

"I'm not going to turn, you know? You can relax."

She snapped back at the soft, amused voice breaking her thoughts and chuckled nervously as she stammered out a reply. "Uh, no, sir, you're mistaken. I was just – there was someone… I mean I thought there was someone standing at the door."

"Yeah? Is that why you look like you're sharing a room with an active grenade waiting to go off?" Banner retorted, a knowing glint in his dark eyes, and pushed his glasses further up his nose. "Don't worry, I'm not about to turn just like that. I maybe volatile but I've got some control in me at least." He paused and looked back up at her. "Why did they send you then, if you're so afraid of me?"

Holly sagged against the edge of one of the table and sighed. "Because I'm appointed by Fury to see to you guys."

"You guys?"

"You and Captain Rogers mainly," She explained, studying the scientist's stance carefully before deeming him calm enough to approach. Holly took her bag and moved closer towards Banner and set her satchel down on a work table that was not covered by files, papers and flashing laptops. "Fury wants to make sure you two are in the best shape during this mission."

"I'd be in better shape if I were not onboard this confining flier, thousands of feet in the air," Banner admitted, walking towards the young woman while rolling his shirtsleeves up to his elbows. "I don't even want to be here."

"Yeah well, that makes two of us," Holly murmured as she took out the equipment from her satchel.

Banner looked at her in surprise, having caught her muttering. "You were dragged here against your will too?"

The young woman nodded her head. She switched on the thermometer, put in a new sleeve and instructed the doctor to open his mouth wide before tucking the equipment under his tongue.

"I had to leave my cat, Tobie, in a clinic!" She said, looking positively affronted by the circumstances. "He's still a young one, I do hope he won't forget me by the time I bring him home again."

Banner was saved from replying her, for he did not know what to say or how to respond without insulting the young woman, by the sharp beeping of the thermometer. Holly took the device out and read the black prints of the small LCD screen.

"Hmm. 98°F. Normal," Holly said and noted down the numbers in a little notepad. Her hands then fumbled with what looked to be the sphygmomanometer and cursed herself for not checking with Dr. Conway on the type of equipment they used.

She let out a small noise of frustration, muttering quiet curses under her breath when a chuckle greeted her ears.

"I'll do it," Banner took the equipment from her and showed her how to loosened it by flicking a small metal latch at the side. "This is one of the most accurate sphygmomanometer in the world. But because it's so complicated, most hospitals just stuck to using the regular ones."

"I like the regular ones. Regular ones are safe," Holly commented, watching attentively as the man before her activated the device and numbers began appearing on the screen. "But S.H.I.E.L.D.'s obviously not one to go for regular or normal."

"I'd say."

While the sphygmomanometer was doing its job, Holly then proceeded to take Banner's pulse and respiration rate. A few minutes later, Holly was jotting down Banner's respiration rate, blood pressure and pulse rate into her little notebook while he took the sphygmomanometer from his arm.

"Your respiration rate's normal. However, both your blood pressure and pulse rate are slightly higher than normal," Holly frowned in concern and looked up at him. "Do you feel alright, Mr. Banner? Any nausea, lightheadedness or double visions?"

"No, I'm fine," He said, tucking the device into the satchel. "The higher numbers are probably due to the other guy,"

"Ah, okay then," Holly nodded, slipping the notebook into her bag before slinging it over her shoulder, as she got ready to look for Steve. "Please do tell me if you feel the slightest discomfort, Sir. Even if it's just for motion sickness or an aspirin; feel free to bug me as much as you want."

"I'll keep that in mind," Banner said, giving the young woman a small smile. He followed her to the door and quickly punched in the access code as the glass entrance slid open with a hiss. Before Holly could take a step out of the laboratory, however, Banner spoke up once more.

"Hey, uh. Miss Fairchild?" Holly turned back to the man inquisitively. "I was wondering if you know where the cafeteria or pantry is?"

"It's located on the second floor," She answered, eyeing his nervous stance and the sudden wringing of his hands curiously. "Are you hungry?"

"Well, yes," Said Banner, looking slightly abashed. "Being pulled out of your home and brought onto an aircraft without food tends to do that to you."

Holly smiled gently at him, finally realizing why he was fidgeting so much. "I can bring some dinner to you, if you'll like."

"You would?" Banner asked, his dark brown eyes lighting up in surprise and silent gratitude when the young woman nodded positive. His fidgeting stopped at the thought that he did not have to come in contact with the others onboard the helicarrier for food.

"Sure," She shrugged. "I'll have to make a trip to see Captain Rogers first though. It'll take about twenty minutes tops, if I can find him in the control hall," Holly quirked a brow at him in silent challenge. "You think you can wait that long for your food? Because Lord knows even normal men hulk out when they don't get their stomachs filled within five minutes."

There was a beat as the two registered the words that fell forth from Holly's lips. The young woman looked positively mortified at her thoughtless joke as her chuckles faded away with realization while Banner's mouth slipped open in mild surprise.

"That's very true," Banner said, breaking the tensed silence. A series of husky laughter fell from his lips, filling the silent lab with his mirth.

"Oh my god," Holly flinched. "I am so sorry! That was so unkind. I just tend to speak before I think! All the time! God, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," The scientist said, his lips still stretched in a smile that revealed the fine lines around his eyes. "It's definitely nicer to see you joking about the other guy as compared to when you couldn't even approach me without wanting to flee."

Holly flinched again.

"I'm fine, really. I'm not going to hulk out and throw you halfway across the globe just because you poked fun at the other guy," Banner placated, patting the young woman on her shoulders before walking back to one of the flashing screens. He tapped the transparent glass a few times and turned towards Holly with a teasing smile. "I have a bit more restrain than that. Although if you really feel that bad, you can make it up to me by bringing in my meals everyday."

"Right," Holly let out a short chuckle, though she was still flushing bright red at her own embarrassing antics, and raised her sculpted brows at the grinning scientist. "You wish. I'll see you later, Doctor."

With a roll of her eyes, she exited the laboratory and made her way towards the main control hall where she hoped Steve would be. A tinge of sympathy shot through her as she thought about how someone as amicable as Banner could be plagued with something so destructive and unstable, much like she was.


Steve Rogers wiped the sweat off of his forehead as he replaced his torn punching bag. With renewed vigor, he punched the packed sand rapidly, throwing more and more of his strength and frustration into each strike. Muscles strained and bones protested despite his enhanced state, but his intense work out was still not enough to chase away the demons that haunted him even while he was awake.

He thought that by coming along on this mission, he would be able to occupy himself with saving the world and fill his mind with things that do not and will not pertain to his past and the many 'what if?' scenarios. He needed to stay away from them – as far away as possible – because they were only going to make him wallow in desolation and self-pity, and they were two of the things that Steve most certainly did not want to be wading about in.

However, upon coming onboard, he was thoroughly disappointed, as there was little for him to do but to wait until Banner and S.H.I.E.L.D.'s agents managed to pinpoint the locations of Loki and the Tesseract. It had come to him, at that point, that the only thing Steve was of use for in the mission was his peak human status.

Sure, Steve was a great strategist, as proven from when he guided soldiers into HYDRA's hidden camps and proceeded to successfully foil Johann Schmidt's heinous plans. But onboard the helicarrier, there was no need for strategies; Fury had made it clear to everyone what they were going to do from the first day.

Locate Loki and the cube. Stop Loki's plans for the cube. Capture Loki and the cube. Imprison Loki and keep the cube locked away until further notice.

He aimed a particularly hard punch at the bag and snarled, feeling the resentment well up in him once more, this time, ten times stronger than before.

He desperately needed someone to convince him he wasn't useless. He needed someone to tell him that he was going to be okay despite his bizarre predicament. He needed someone to assure him that he was going to fit in and find a place for himself just fine in this time and age.

He needed Peggy.

Steve paused in his ministrations and put a hand out to break the bag's wild swinging. His breaths escaped him in short, harsh, pants due to his rigorous exercise and he was coated in a light sheen of heated sweat.

Margaret 'Peggy' Carter was one of the few who believed in him. Other than his best friend Bucky, Dr. Erskine and Colonel Philips (sometimes, when he wasn't being a grouchy old man who was always calling him the 'scrawny Brooklyn kid'), the strong-willed and independent English agent was one of the select few people that truly had faith in him.

She had told him once before that he was "meant for more than this" in which 'this' meant parading around with a troupe of scantily clad dancers as he went about promoting war bonds. It was with her words and the reassurance that Steve had the confidence and motivation to infiltrate HYDRA's territory, alone, and brought about the release of Bucky and the four hundred military comrades who were locked under Schmidt's imprisonment.

She was the reason how Steve Rogers became the true Captain America. Sure, Dr. Erskine and Howard Stark were the people credited with turning him from the sickly boy into an enhanced soldier who was at the zenith of the top human potential. But Peggy was the one who made Steve embrace his new self and use his new abilities to bring about a better world instead of being exhibited on stage, saying a few choice words to the real soldiers who were fighting for their lives and safety out in the enemy lines.

She changed him and Steve daresay he loved her. She brought him faith, confidence and things to look forward to in his life.

However, she was also the one who was causing him the most grief right now.

The super-soldier landed another hard punch at the bag as he threw himself into another round of work out to keep the thoughts of her and her pretty brown eyes out of his head. As long as he did not think about her, he was going to be all right. As long as the warm brown eyes and painted crimson smile did not flash across his mind, he was not going to feel despair and alone and lost.

And so, Steve threw himself into the training, putting all his energy and strength into straining his muscles and body. He was going to ache, badly, in the morning. But he didn't care.

Because the physical pain was so much easier to handle as compared to the nagging, gaping emptiness that Steve always felt in the night.

For the next ten minutes, he worked himself into the punching bag as the seams holding the compact sand threatened to break under the heavy blows it was receiving. Until, with a last hit, Steve sent the heavy training equipment flying from its hinge on the ceiling and landing halfway across the room, sending sand scattered on the dark linoleum floor.

"You're that stressed, huh?"


Edited as of 15 April 2015