Chapter 7: Love Sucks

Pairing: slightly ML / MA (hopefully)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that concerns DA well except maybe this story I'm doing :D

Rating: Mature (language)

Note: Angst… angst… angst… -sniff-


He played the game. And he really wished he hadn't. Because now, he couldn't even bring himself to deny the fact that he had fallen for her. Hard. Alec McDowell was in love. Very much in love with Max Guevara. And yet, he couldn't bring himself to tell her. It wasn't an option, even when Joshua and Biggs had tried everything they can to make Alec confess his feelings towards Max.

"No Josh. I'm not gonna tell her. I'm sure you think it's gonna make things better but trust me on this, it won't. Not for me. Not for Max. And you know who's goin' to end flat on their ass? It's me. I appreciate the advice but no thanks."

Joshua turned to look at Biggs, which made the other X5 exhale softly. It was no use, Alec wouldn't budge. He was simply too stubborn. That and he was that guarded, too guarded actually, when it came to his feelings towards Max, which in turn convinced the transhuman, and transgenic that Alec indeed loved their fearless leader. More than any of them would ever know. Now, if only he'd show it to her. Hell they wanted him to tell her.

"Alec…"

"Biggs don't. Don't you see? She's in love with Logan. And I refuse to put my heart on the line. I did that once. I got hurt so bad that I swore to myself that I wasn't goin' to go through that again. Not when it involves Max. What I feel for Max, you can't even compare that to what I felt with Rachel. This one is not even close."

Biggs just let his shoulder sag slightly in surrender. "We're just trying to help Alec."

"Do yourselves and me a favor. Don't. I don't need it. What you both want? Ain't gonna happen. Deal with it."

With that said, Alec left both the transhuman and transgenic somewhat defeated.


"You've been what?!"

Max exhaled loudly and moved to sit down on the edge of Original Cindy's bed. "I've been sleeping with Alec. Please don't make me say it again."

"How long has this been goin' on Boo?" OC asked as she stood there near the edge of the bed with her arm crossed over her chest. This was something big. At least that was what OC thought. No she didn't object. But she wasn't used to the idea of Max not telling her things like this before it ever happened. They always have been open with each other.

"Weeks?"

"Like how many weeks?"

"Three..."

"And you're tellin' this to me just now?"

"I know..." Max said as she stood up. She began to pace. "I should have told you right after it happened but... I don't know. I guess I got distracted."

"Mmhmm. You got distracted alright."

Max stopped and turned to look at her. OC raised her brows at that. "And you regret it?" Max shook her head then groaned out in frustration. "I don't know Boo. I don't know if I regret it. I don't even know what to do anymore. All I know is that everytime he comes near me, I just... ugh..." OC couldn't hide the smirk that played over her lips even if she tried.

"Melt like butter in a hot pan?"

Max turned to glare at her. Original Cindy just shrugged as she unfolded her arms and proceeded to sit down on the edge of her bed. "I hate to say this Boo but that boy has charms. We just don't like admitting it. And he ain't bad to look at either." Tilting her head, OC patted down the space beside her. "Come on... dish it out. Tell Original Cindy how this annoying transgenic rocked your world..."

Max had to make a face at that and then scoffed. "He did not rocked my world..." she replied before she sat down. Then paused for a second before groaning softly. "More like rocked your body huh?" Max exhaled loudly and moved to plop her back on the bed. She stared at the ceiling. "When I first met him, I told him that my kicking him was the only physical contact me and him are ever going to have. And now... I don't know. I can't even look at him without letting my mind go down the gutter. Way down..."

OC had to make a face at that. "Okay Boo I think now's the time to tell you that I don't really need details on that one. I did say he was pretty but please, no mental image of Alec struttin' around naked. Not my idea of fun." Max pressed her lips then lifted up her head to look at her. "Sorry. At least now we know he can pretty much back everything up that comes out of that delicious mouth of his."

"We? And did you just call his mouth delicious?"

Max moved to plop her head back down on the mattress. "See? I can't even think straight right now. And this is all his fault. I can't even spend the rest of my day without... goin' there you know..." Original Cindy smirked at that. "So this is just a physical thing between you two? Nothin' more than that?" Max creased her brows and moved to prop herself up using her elbows. "Say what you want but I love Logan. I'm in love with Logan. As far as feelings are concerned, there is nothing I feel towards Alec. He's a good friend yes but more than that no."

"Uh-huh. A good friend who happens to be a damn good fuck right?"

"Yes. Right."

Alec gritted his teeth at that. He had been looking for Max so he could run some ideas with her regarding some things around TC and of course it wouldn't hurt to have a little something, something on the side. Reaching OC's room, he was about to just open the door when he caught their conversation I don't know Boo. I don't know if I regret it. I don't even know what to do anymore. All I know is that everytime he comes near me, I just... ugh.. He stood outside listening to their conversation and he pretty much heard everything he needed to hear. Unfortunately it echoed inside his head like damn broken record player. As far as feelings are concerned, there is nothing I feel towards Alec. And there he was falling for her each time, if that was even possible. Taking a step back, he turned and walked away from the door.

Get your head in the game soldier.

He was going to put an end to this.

I thought we were lovers
I thought we were friends
I guess when reality steps in
The dreaming ends

- Some Good Things Never Last by Barbra Streisand


"Alec... at least let me go with you..."

Alec pressed his lips as he finally zipped the back pack up and slung it over his shoulder. He turned to look at Biggs. "I need someone who can hold the fort with Max while I'm away. I'll be gone a week. Two weeks at the most. I need to do this alone Biggs. And remember, you don't get to tell Max why I'm really out."

"You're out to make a deal with a supplier so our supplies would come in on a regular basis so that we wouldn't have to worry about sneaking out and stealing I got that part covered Alec. But what if you get into trouble? Who's gonna have your back?"

Alec moved to place his hand over Biggs' shoulder. "I'm the best remember? I can totally handle this. Stop worryin' will you? It's startin' to make me uncomfortable you know..." Biggs had to roll his eyes at that. "Man I don't swing that way..." Alec laughed softly. "Well I'm off. Remember, not a word." Biggs nodded at that. He watched Alec as he walked out of the room. Where he was going only Alec was the only one who could answer that.


Two weeks. Two. Whole. Frustrating. Weeks. Where the hell was he? Why would a transaction like this take two fucking weeks? He should be back by now at least that's based from what Biggs had said. She had no choice but to try to keep herself busy. Keyword being try. No matter how much she told herself not to be affected by Alec's absence, she was, and Original Cindy had witnessed that. She'd also been telling her hints as to how Max really felt about Alec. Max was vehement in denying it.

"You really should stop saying that. I don't feel anything okay? So just drop it."

"I'm just sayin' you wouldn't be affected this much if you didn't feel anything towards pretty boy..."

"That's crazy. Can we just stop talking about him and deal with distributing these rations instead?"

"Whatever floats your boat Boo."

Max was pacing back and forth at her office. The two week mark had ended a couple of days ago and still no sign of Alec. No word from him either. Damn boy purposely left his radio inside his office so no one could be in touch with him. At least that was what she decided to believe. Although it was not far from the truth either. Alec did really purposely left the radio behind so no one could reach him. He couldn't risk being found out, specially by Max. That, and he didn't want to change him mind. He needed to do this.

"Sugar, will you stop pacing and sit down? It's beginning to give me a damn headache. I'm sure your boy is bound to show his transgenic ass any day now."

"He is NOT my boy!"

"Gee Max, frustrated much?"

Both girls turned to look at the door. There he was, standing and talking like he had never done anything to make her furious. "Where the hell have you been? You told Biggs two weeks at the most! You can't just do whatever Alec. More people count on you now." Max asked and accused at the same time as she stalked towards the door forcing Alec to take a small step back as she got into his face. His musky scent instantly attacked her senses, which made her grit her teeth. Now was hardly the time to melt like butter, as OC had so put it.

"Jesus Max, will you relax? I wasn't fooling around while I was out if that's what you're thinkin'..." Alec said as he moved to walk past her and made his way to her office table. He took the backpack off his shoulder and placed it on the table. Opening the front pocket, he took out a bunch of paper folded neatly together. Holding up for her to see, he pressed his lips and then placed it on her table with a dull thump. "Signed, sealed and delivered. We don't have to worry about supplies. Everything is in there if you have questions. And if they break any of the parts inside the contract, they will wish they'd never made the deal with me." Alec said saying that last part like a threat. And it really was. It made him slightly darker for some reason. That part of him that she really had never seen before.

Max crossed her arms over her chest before looking at Alec again. "And sealing the deal took you more than two weeks? You really expect me to believe that you didn't do anything that would benefit you? Psh... Please." She said before moving to walk over where OC was.

Alec gritted his teeth and turned to look at the vial he purposely left inside the pocket when he took the papers out. He was going to at least give it to her in private and maybe, just maybe talk with her, heart to heart. But, with the way she was going at this, he didn't felt like he was still up to that. Pressing his lips, he stuffed his hand inside the pocket, grabbed the vial and pulled it out. He never even bothered to zip his bag up when moved to grab it with his free hand and slung it over his shoulder. With a few angry strides, he reached Max and OC. He moved to grab Max's hand and placed the vial in her palm, angrily at that. He looked at her intently.

"Took the liberty to get your damn precious cure. Don't worry, I made sure that's legit and the guy is still alive. Not a scratch on him. Good luck to you and Logan."

With that said, he walked past them and headed out the door.

Max stared at the vial. Original Cindy had her mouth hanging open slightly after witnessing what had just happened. Max blinked before looking up at OC, she opened her mouth to say anything, something but nothing really came out. OC placed a hand over her shoulder. "I'll talk to the boy. You on the other hand, figure things out. Start by taking that cure and find Logan. We'll talk later." Max could only nod in response and followed OC with her eyes as her bestfriend walked out of the room. What the hell just happened?


Alec stared out into the streets below him. It was already dark and he could see the police down below on constant patrol of the vicinity, he fought the urge to roll his eyes. Damn ordinaries. They didn't know any better. Well as far as those people down there were concerned. Of course those who were trying to flush them out and kill them was another story. He tensed up when he heard the rooftop door opened and heard footsteps. It wasn't Max. Thank God. If he believed in God that is. Now was not really a good time for the other X5 to confront him. Needless to say, he was not ready for that.

"If you're here representin' Max don't. I'm seriously not in the mood Cindy. I don't want to give you more reason to hate me."

Original Cindy had to roll her eyes at that as she moved to lean on the ledge he'd been sitting on. She raised her brows, leaned forward and looked down. She almost whistled. "Damn boy, that's a long way down. Aren't you even afraid sittin' there?" Alec had to smirk at that. "Cat in my cocktail remember? I'm sure if I fell I'd land on my feet, without breakin' anything. Now what do you want?"

"You are such a drama queen you know that? For the record, I don't hate you. And neither does Max. Girl just got some serious issues."

Alec had to scoff at that. "That's an understatement..." he muttered softly.

"Anyway, I came here to thank you. For helpin' hookin' my girl up with the cure." Alec had to shake his head at that. "Don't worry about it. I owe her so much already I figured it's the least I could do. "

OC turned around as she leaned back on the ledge. "Max told me what happened between you two..." She heard him exhale loudly, an indication that he really didn't want to talk about this. Or at least that was what she figured. "What happens in the confinements of my room stays in my room. She doesn't have to worry about me usin' that against her. I'm not that kind of jerk."

She had to crease her brows at that. That made her turn to look at Alec. Was it hurt that she kept hearing in his voice? She could be mistaken though. Right? "Boy don't make me smack you upside the head. That's not why I said that but I'll make sure what you said reach her. Anyway, I want to know if you're goin' to be okay. I mean with what happened between you two it makes me wonder if..."

Alec gritted his teeth at that. No. He wasn't going to spill his guts to her. "She used me, I used her. She wanted a good fuck, I gave it to her. That's that OC. Nothin' more." OC was taken aback at that. He didn't even let her finish. Something was definitely up. But, if he wasn't willing to admit anything then that's his problem, not hers. She pressed her lips and pushed herself off the ledge.

"Geez, and I thought my girl had issues..."

Alec sighed at that. "I'm sorry. I'm doin' the best I can and it doesn't seem to be enough. Not when it comes to her and I can only take so much shit you know. I'm not tryin' to get you to sympathize but I figured if you at least understand where I'm comin' from then that's enough for me." OC had to turned her head to look at her. "Alec, you're okay on my book and I've been tellin' my girl that. But you know how she can get. I'm sure with what you just did she'll surely come around. I mean you just literally handed her the solution to all her problems. She's gonna be happy finally." Alec could only nod in response. What was he supposed to say? He was happy for her? Part of him wanted to be happy for her. But a bigger part of him was mourning for the loss of her. Then again, he didn't have her to begin with.

"Thanks OC."

"No problem Boo. Anyways, I'll let you be. And if there's anything you want to talk about, you've got one more person to talk to."

Alec paused at that before he finally turned to look at OC. He offered her a small smile. "I'd really appreciate that." OC smiled back at him. "Good. You better. See you later Alec." With that said, she turned and made her way towards the door. Alec turned to look down the streets below. She's gonna be happy finally. What OC said meant only one thing. It all boiled down one fact, Max was never going to be happy with anyone not unless it was Logan. Not even if Alec tried with everything he got, he couldn't possibly make her happy. It echoed inside his head over and over until he felt he couldn't take it anymore. Hearing it over and over hurt. And the feeling he'd tried to contain just broke out hitting him, hard. The pain he felt was so overwhelming he suddenly found it hard to breath. He gritted his teeth in an attempt to control it but it was no use, everything caught up with him all at once that his tears started to flow down his cheeks. He closed his eyes and finally surrendered, letting his shoulder shake as he freely sobbed.

OC had just reached the door when she paused. No. She wanted to know how Alec really felt about Max. She turned around and walked back to where Alec sat. Opening her mouth to say something, she was forced to stop when she noticed his shoulders shaking before she heard him. Original Cindy had to pull her head back at that. Alec was crying? Oh. My. Right then and there, she got her answer.

She wasn't sure how the X5 would react if he found out she was still there witnessing his break down. Pressing her lips, she silently took a few steps back before she turned around and walked towards the door. She carefully pulled the door open and stepped out from the rooftop. When the door finally closed behind her, she exhaled softly.

"This is not good."

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

- Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson


I wish you'd look at me that way
Your beautiful eyes
lookin' deep into mine
Telling me more than
any words could say
But you don't even know I'm alive
Baby to you all I am
Is the invisible man

She was laughing at something he obviously said, Alec gritted his teeth as he forced to tear his eyes away from Max and Logan who were currently sharing a table and no one dared sit with them. Even Original Cindy had joined the table he was at together with the rest of the gang. Sketchy shook his head obviously oblivious about Alec's reaction. "They're just too sweet..." he said with a smirk.

"Yeah makes your fuckin' teeth hurt."

Joshua, Sketchy, Biggs, Mole and Original Cindy all turned their heads to Alec who was forking his untouched plate of food. Sketchy creased his brows. "Dude, you okay?"

Alec dropped his fork on the plate and finally stood up. "Yeah Sketchy... I'm peachy..." he replied, his voice obviously dripping with sarcasm. He took the plate with him as he walked away from their table and threw the foil plate on the trash as he passed by. Sketchy raised his brows at that. "What is up with him lately?" he asked as he looked at the people around their table. OC rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I'll go talk to him." she said as she stood up and quickly followed Alec.

"Alec wait up..."

But Alec didn't stop. He continued walking and went on the direction of the gym. Their makeshift gym. She got tired of lagging behind him so when he was finally within reach, OC moved to grab his arm. Alec stopped but violently jerked his arm away from her. "The fuck do you want now?"

"Boy try talkin' to me like that again I'll slap that potty mouth of yours. Stop sulkin' and tell me what's wrong."

"No thanks."

"Alec..."

He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. He finally turned his body to face her. "I love her. Is that what you want to hear? I. Love. Max. There. I said it. Happy now?" Scoffing he turned around again and started to walk. OC pursed her lips at that. She moved to place her hands on her hips. "Tell her that Alec. She needs to know. She needs to hear it." Alec stopped again and turned to look back at OC. "What for? She's happy. She doesn't need to know. And I'm sure as hell that she doesn't want to know, so stop okay? I've already given up. Y'all should too." With that said, Alec walked away.

OC sighed softly and shook her head. He was stubborn as Max and it was beginning to be really annoying. She should just do what he said and give up. It was no use. Turning around, she was forced to take a small step back when she found Max and Logan standing behind her. "Hey... have you been standing there the whole time?"

Logan shook his head. "Not really, although we did catch Alec walking out. You two have a fight or something?" OC shook her head. "Not really, but as usual, the boy's out of it, his head could spin off his shoulders any moment." She turned to look at Max. "You should try and talk to him. It worked the last time..." Max creased her brows at that. She was sure OC was telling her something, but what? Last time?

"What's up with your boy? "

"He's not my boy, and I don't know."

"Never seen him like this...anguished and all Heathcliff-like. No wonder the straight women fall for the tortured types."

"Please. I know I'm gonna regret this, but...I should see if he's okay."

"Take your time. I got my eye on this fine shorty at the pool table."

Max pulled her head back. That last time. She pressed her lips and turned to look at Logan. "She's right. Think we can make that dinner date some other time? I just have to make sure he's okay. And I haven't been able to really thanked him for what he did for us." Logan smiled and nodded. "Yeah sure. Don't worry about it. This just gives me time to prepare actually. Go. And if you need help talking to him I'll be glad to help."

"Thanks Logan."

"No problem."

Logan smiled at her and she smiled back. They both leaned in and kissed. OC had to look away for a moment and when they pulled away from each other, she looked back at them. She forced a smile on her lips. Things just got complicated each time, she wasn't even sure if Max could even do something about this, or if she was ever going to realize how she really felt about Alec. Something was there. OC was sure of it. Or at least that was what she thought. Max turned and followed the direction Alec had taken.

Minutes later, Max found him on the rooftop. She stood still for a moment as he looked at Alec's still form. He was sitting on the ledge looking down. Her heart suddenly raced inside her chest. She was suddenly nervous. Why she had no idea. Exhaling loudly, she shook her head slightly before finally made her way to where Alec was.

The moment she stepped outside, her scent reached him. Alec had to fight the urge to jump off the ledge just to avoid her. He was going to have to explain himself more if he did that. And knowing Max, he wouldn't hear the end of it. The hairs on the back of his head raised. Dammit. Damn her. Why did she have to come here? Why couldn't they just leave him alone?

"Hey... Call me crazy, but I got the feeling you're in some kind of jam."

"Okay, you're crazy."

"We're not goin' that same road again Alec. Why don't you just tell me what's going on?"

Alec turned to look at her. "Because it's my problem and I don't want to share it with anyone. Specially not with you." He moved to get off the ledge and began to walk towards the rooftop door.

"Alec don't do this. Remember the last time? You ended up on your knees with a gun pointed at your head. Or you just don't care?"

Alec stopped and turned to look at her. "I just don't care Max. And I'm sure as hell that you don't either. Hell I've given you your fuckin' cure and did I get a thank you? Fuck no. You skipped off to Logan and never left his side since."

"So that's it? All these dramatics because I didn't thanked you? I can't believe you Alec. You're making damn big deal out of this." She said as she shook her head then turned to look back at him. "Thank you. There. Happy now?" Scoffing she began to walk towards the door and walked past him. Before she was out of his grasp, Alec shot his hand out and grabbed her arm. Max jerked her arm away from him angrily. Alec pulled his head back at that. He gritted his teeth. His eyes began to sting but he refused to let her see. No. She wasn't going to see. He blinked.

"I love you Max. That's what's up. And I can't stand seein' you with him. I seriously thought I could handle it but I was wrong. Now, if you still think you can help me out, be my guest. 'Cause honestly? I can't wait to get over this. I can't wait to get over you."

Max stared at him in disbelief. Wait. He what? Was he kidding? Alec managed to huff at that. He shook his head. "That's what I thought... do me a favor? Leave me alone..."

He finally walked away.

I see you all the time baby
The way you look at him
I wish it was me sweetheart
Boy I wish it was me
But I guess I'll never be...

- Invisible Man by 98 Degrees