Three weeks after being delivered to Sirius, Regulus's magic was finally starting to return to him. The trauma of his capture and imprisonment had beaten him down, and so without his wand he had been helpless. But Regulus had been quite adept at wandless magic before his incarceration and now he was fast recovering a lot of his abilities.
He'd woken up around three a.m. one night to the feeling of fine sand running across his wrist. Startled, it took him a moment to realize what had happened. The bonds around his right wrist were gone, transfigured to granules of rock. Regulus gasped. The full moon spilled in from Sirius's open bay window and Regulus held his arm out into the light. He squinted and noticed with some delight that the dark bruises on his skin were fading as well. His body seemed to be healing itself, a trick he'd been particularly proficient at in his previous life as the Dark Lord's toy. He felt less sore than he had when he'd fallen asleep. (Sirius had done quite a number on him. Sirius was and had always been gentle only in remorse).
Conscious of his brother lying right next to him, Regulus leaned back down into his pillow. He waved his free hand about in the cool night air, idly, as though charming a very sleepy snake. The sand that had previously been his shackle weaved up into moonlight. Regulus breathed deeply, concentrating. He felt strong, something he'd never expected to feel again.
He played with his sand for a while longer before sending it out the window. Anxiously, he bit his lip. He had a problem.
What was Sirius going to do when he found out? Regulus fruitlessly attempted to summon new bonds for himself but couldn't find the magic just yet. His right arm was completely and noticeably free. Sirius would know immediately what had happened. Would his brother harm him? Regulus wasn't sure. Sirius hadn't responded violently to Regulus since he'd been imprisoned here, even when Regulus had first arrived and Sirius had thought his brother was deliberately ignoring him. No, Sirius would not hurt Regulus for this. Regulus could explain that it had been an accident. Sirius would not be angry…but he would be frightened, Regulus realized fearfully. If Sirius could not trust Regulus to be only loosely tied to the bed at night then he would likely shove him down into the basement, magically imprisoned with Rabastan and the others. Regulus shuddered. As taxing as Sirius's demands on Regulus's mind and body were, Regulus appreciated being allowed to stay upstairs. He did not want Sirius to cast him down into their dungeon of a cellar.
But Sirius would do just that, he was certain of it. Regulus bit his lip, worrying about what might befall him should Sirius place him in a room with Barty or one of the Lestrange brothers. They would not take too kindly to him after he had spent so long getting special treatment as Sirius's pet.
An idea began to flutter its unwelcome way into Regulus's mind. Sirius's window was open…they were only on the third floor and Regulus knew from the many times Sirius had snuck out as a child that there were vines and footholds to aid one's decent down the side of the house. Perhaps if he could vanish his other bonds…?
No, but his magic was not quite there yet. He was sweating and nervous, and the panic was blocking most of his abilities. Regulus numbly tried to untie his left arm with his free hand. Sirius had done his bonds up tight, but after a while, they started to loosen. Regulus felt lightheaded. Every so often Sirius would shuffle about in his sleep and Regulus would freeze. By the time his left arm was free, he could feel tears rolling down his cheeks. The clock on the nightstand read four forty-five.
As softly as he could, he tried to sit up and get at the knots holding his chest down. After a few minutes of frustration, he found that he couldn't do it. The angle was too awkward. The bonds latched around the middle of his back, where his arms couldn't reach. Regulus wanted to sob in frustration. There was nothing he could do now but cut his losses and pray.
"S—Sirius?" he whispered. A mumble was his only response.
"Sirius," Regulus said again, this time tapping his brother lightly on the shoulder.
Sirius yawned and rolled around so he was facing his brother, but his eyes remained closed. "Wha' you wan'?" he grumbled.
"Please g—get up for a second, Sirius."
Sirius blinked a few times and sat up, stretching his arms out. With a tired flourish, he turned on the lights.
"Regulus, what on earth is the matter? It's not even light out yet…"
Regulus sat up as far as his remaining bonds would allow. "My…arms…" he said sadly. Sirius stared at him in confusion for a minute before the sleep started to fall from his face and his eyes widened.
"Oh," he muttered, spotting Regulus's fallen bonds. "How'd you come untied?" Unconcerned, he leaned over to retie Regulus's left arm. When he reached to re-secure Regulus's right arm, however, he paused.
"…Reggie…where are the cords?" he asked suspiciously.
"Gone," Regulus admitted.
"What do you mean, gone?" Sirius's eyes narrowed dangerously.
Regulus whimpered and closed his eyes. "It was an accident," he insisted. "I woke up and one of them was just gone. I magicked it away," he admitted.
Sirius was silent for a long time. Finally, he said, "Regulus, what are you saying?"
Regulus swallowed, his mouth dry. "I think my magic is finally starting to return to me and…Mum and Dad had me pretty well-versed in basic, wandless spell-casting."
"And you were able to slip from one of your bonds?"
"Yes," Regulus covered his face with his remaining free hand. "I didn't mean to, though, Sirius, I promise. I just woke up and…"
"But you untied your other arm," Sirius pointed out.
Regulus trembled. "Yes," he said in a small voice. "I did."
Sirius paused to consider him. "And were you going to try to run away from me, Reggie?" he asked softly.
Regulus nodded.
"But I was frightened," he said.
"Frightened of me?" Sirius asked. He ran a hand through Regulus's hair, pulling it taut.
"Yes," Regulus wheezed. "But more so of leaving."
Sirius gave him a questioning look. Regulus let the lies slip from his mouth with practiced ease. He'd used to be so good at this sort of thing, hadn't he?
"Where would I go?" he whispered. "The Dark Lord has lost and I was on the wrong side. I would be killed or arrested in a heartbeat. There's no one on your side who'd be as kind to me as you have been."
Regulus watched his brother think.
"Please don't lock me away, Sirius."
"I'm not sure I have any other choice, kitten," Sirius said. He traced a finger around Regulus's lips, made slow circles down to his neck.
"Don't make me stay in the cellar rooms, Sirius, please…"
"I think I may need to, Reggie, they are warded by very strong magic…"
Regulus started to shake. "Sirius, I'm begging you, don't send me down there. Don't chain me up in the dark…"
Sirius frowned at him.
"I won't run!" Regulus insisted. He was frantic, nearly yelling by that point.
"You were going to run just now…"
"No I wasn't!" Regulus said anxiously. "I could have but I didn't! I woke you up instead!"
Sirius shook his head. "No…I think it is more likely you woke me when you realized you could not untie the rest of your bonds. Had you have been able to free yourself completely you would be out that window by now. Regulus—" He reached out a hand to steady his brother, who was by then thrashing and screaming.
With a snap, several of Regulus's bonds released their holds. With a hiss, the rest fell off. Sirius's eyes widened. For a grown wizard to display so much accidental magic…
Regulus curled up on his side, breathing in ragged gasps. "Please don't," he muttered over and over. "Sirius, please don't."
"My gods, hush," Sirius said. He pulled Regulus up into his lap where he petted him gently. "I'm not going to hurt you, kitten."
Regulus looked up into his brother's eyes. "Do you want me to die?" he asked suddenly.
Sirius stiffened. "I do not want you to say things like that," he said harshly.
Regulus acted as though he could not hear him. "Because if you lock me up downstairs, Sirius, you will return to find me dead."
Sirius blinked. "Regu—"
"I'm not sure how yet, but I will not stay. I will refuse any rations you give me, I will slit my wrists on the floor, the foot of the bed, anything I can reach…I will summon what's left of my magic if I have to. If you try to keep me down there, Sirius, you will have to find another fuck toy," Regulus spat. "I will not live in the dark like the others."
The venom in his words surprised even Regulus. He hardly dared make eye contact with Sirius when he was done with his tirade, and he fully expected to be struck. To his surprise, when Sirius's hand connected with his face it was gentle. Sirius ran two fingers over Regulus's eyebrow, down his cheek, across his chin…all the while murmuring soothing words.
"Calm down, Regulus," he said firmly. "I never said I would keep you down there like I do the other three."
"But you—"
"Shush, Regulus, don't start. What I meant was perhaps you should be downstairs under tighter restraints only when I cannot watch you. For a time, at least," he added. "Until I am absolutely sure I can trust you."
Regulus was still panting heavily. "But that would include…that would mean you'd cage me at night."
"For a little while, yes, it would." To Regulus's horror, Sirius was getting out of bed.
"Sirius!"
"Quiet, please," Sirius warned. "Now come here." He held out his arms and Regulus stood from the bed and went to him.
Sirius hugged him close before turning to pull an extra blanket from the closet. "All right, come this way now," he said, leading a shaking Regulus out of the room and down the stairs.
Regulus knew where they were going without Sirius's hand on his shoulder, steering him. He walked to the deepest recesses of the basements. As they passed over the magical threshold set up by the DMLE and the aurors, Regulus could physically feel the crushing restraint being pushed onto him. Even if he had had his wand, exiting the cellars without Sirius's permission would have been nearly impossible.
They stopped at the furthest door. Regulus was fearful that Barty or the Lestranges would be inside but it was empty. There was a single, ramshackle bed in the corner and no other furniture. The window's curtains were drawn, but they were so far underground, Regulus was certain that nothing but dirt and earth could be seen through the window anyway.
Sirius waved his wand and summoned several metal chains and cufflinks. Regulus whimpered.
"I don't understand, Sirius," he cried. "I tried to be good. I stayed. I woke you up and told you what happened. I tried…" Somehow, even with the ceiling light fully lit, this room seemed dark. Regulus could almost see the walls closing in on him. He was close to hyperventilating.
Sirius kissed him deeply to stop his fussing. When he pulled away, he whispered, "I know, I know. This is just for tonight, Reggie. I promise that when the morning comes, I will bring you back upstairs. I will not leave you down here forever…do you trust me?"
Regulus shook his head vehemently. Sirius looked extremely hurt but deep down he knew he couldn't have expected much more.
"Well how am I to trust you if you don't trust me, eh?" Sirius asked. Regulus did not answer him, but was staring pensively at the metal bonds Sirius was now fitting him into. They scratched against his skin. There were chips and spikes in the rusting metal. With enough effort…they would do just fine.
Sirius seemed to know what his brother was thinking. "You are not going to try anything, Regulus. I won't let you hurt yourself."
Regulus raised an eyebrow as if to ask, and just how do you plan on doing that?
Sirius pushed Regulus down onto the lumpy bed, throwing down onto him the blanket that he had brought from his own bedroom. To Regulus's surprise, Sirius slipped in beside him.
"If you are truly so scared, kitten, then I will stay with you," he said simply. Regulus curled up stiffly, unwillingly, into Sirius's chest. Sirius turned off the light.
Regulus didn't like what was happening. He didn't appreciate Sirius throwing pity and mild kindness his direction. He didn't want to feel indebted to his older brother (hadn't wanted to feel that way ever again). Sirius was hurting him. Sirius was sometimes less cruel than he had the opportunity to be, but that was not affection. Sirius had not hurt him for trying to escape (but he had! He relegated him to the cellars!) but a lack of physical violence was not the same as love. Regulus repeated this to himself over and over again. He would not fall into this trap again. Sirius sparing Regulus pain was not saving him, Sirius was not saving him, Sirius was not—
"And you are not just for fucking, Regulus," Sirius growled, his lips pressed hot against Regulus's neck. "Not before and not now."
Regulus racked his brains quickly, calling up every childhood and adolescent memory he could. He needed those memories to stop himself believing Sirius. As the images of days long gone sped across his mind he wondered in disbelief, Sirius, when has that ever been true?
"I love you."
Really, Sirius? …are you sure?
