The next three weeks were great. Me and Monse had gotten past our differences and went back to being our usual duo. I was so glad we weren't fighting anymore, and that she had finally just accepted that Cesar was a Santo, we all had. It also turns out that my first feelings about Olivia were correct. She was pretty cool. It was awesome to have a girl friend that wasn't related to me, plus, she was just a generally nice person. Then there was Cesar. We had become less and less discrete, honestly it was a true miracle nobody had guessed what was going on yet. We were planning to tell them at homecoming, well, more show them. Cesar had his heart set on a slow dance and I wasn't completely against the idea. As much as we had our reasons for keeping us a secret, I was starting to feel like I was a terrible friend, keeping this for so long. In other words, everything was coming up roses.
I couldn't wait for homecoming. Monse could. It was the day of, and I was still trying to get her to go. "Come on, Monse! It's our first high school dance. You can't just skip out."
"Yes I can, and will."
We were walking to school alone today, making this my final chance to convince her. "Give me one good reason not to go."
"Remember when we just got back this summer and we were still mad at Cesar?" She asked.
"Yeah." I was unsure of where this was going.
"And y'know when we were about to go talk with him?" She could see I wasn't connecting the dots. "Jamal was there." Still nothing. She gestured to her boobs. "Cha-cha-bingos?"
It clicked. "You mean when he was being a dick and asked me to sit on his face."
"Yes. And what you said there applies to this situation too."
I wracked my brain. I thought I was pretty quiet that day. "What did I say?"
She was slightly exasperated. "That having boobs changes the playing field."
"You don't want to go to the dance 'cause you have breasts now."
"Exactly." She said it like it should make perfect sense.
"I don't get it."
"Well other guys might notice me now."
I still failed to understand. "And that's a problem because?"
"What if they want to dance with me?"
"Why is that a bad thing?"
She took a deep breath. "Well what if a guy comes up and asks me to dance. Let's say we do and I real like him. Then what if he likes me and we end up dating? It could break apart the fam!"
I gave her an unimpressed look. "That was a whole lotta 'what ifs'. Plus, if you started dating a dude, it wouldn't break up 'the fam.'" I said with air quotations. "I think it would be good if you dated a guy, maybe you'd be a little less high strung."
"Since when am I high strung?"
I rolled my eyes. "Get real, Monse. You're almost as bad as Ruby." We had reached the school. She opened her mouth to reply, but I stopped her. "Sorry, gotta bounce. I need to find Cesar before class. See you at lunch! And Monse? Come to the dance."
"Whatever."
I ran off, giving her a two finger salute. I think I might have convinced her a little bit. Just maybe.
I walked around the school in search of a Cesar, dodging cliques of teens as I waded through the crowded hallways. Suddenly I felt a hand wrap around mine and I was jerked to the side. I was pulled into a storage closet, the door closing behind me. I immediately knew it was him and giggled. One hand was on my waist the other by my head, as he kissed me, pushing me up against the back wall.
"Good morning to you too." I said when we broke apart.
"Very good morning."
I laughed at this and pulled him back down as the announcements started. He stumbled a bit, also grinning, meeting me half way and pressing his chest against mine. I opened my mouth to deepen the kiss and felt Cesar's tongue quickly dart in. My hands were in his hair while his went under my shirt and began to explore my sides and back.
Sadly humans need oxygen, and we separated, both a bit breathless. The announcements were still droning on, not that I was paying attention. We moved away from the wall and we backed up against the sole chair in the room. I urged Cesar down, then straddled him. I moved my hips against him a bit and he groaned. I pulled his shirt up and he quickly complied. He dived for my neck, kissing and sucking on it. Shit! I can't let the gang see I have a hickey. I hastily moved down two recapture his lips, inadvertently grinding even more against his growing bulge, causing him to moan loudly.
"Shh! Someone will hear us." I whisper shouted, while almost jumping off him.
"You can't do that if you want me to be quiet. Almost everybody's in class anyway."
I face palmed. "Ms. Mendoza already hates me. She's gonna kill me for being late."
He reached out to grab my hand. "Just a few more minutes."
"She'll be pissed if I'm not there in the very near future. We'll miss the notes if we're late."
Cesar gave me a look. "Astor, you can't expect me to go to class like this." He said, drawing my gaze southerly. He's right about that.
"Fine, but I gotta go, she'll give me detention if I'm too late. Wait here for a few minutes, Teach won't give you a second thought. It's no fair, she loves you. You could probably walk in halfway through class blasting Metallica while juggling flaming kittens, and she wouldn't notice."
He gave me a strange look and put his shirt back on. "Just wait a sec." He played with my hair, fixing it over my neck.
"They're gonna see, and boy, that'll be an awkward conversation with Monse. We were gonna wait until tonight."
"You're hair hides it, you can't even see."
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever." Then I noticed his messed up do. "Speaking of hair, I would suggest finding a mirror."
"Thank's for the heads up, I almost forgot. Want to skip sixth period? We've already finished the project, and Mr. Morrison has a sub today. We won't miss anything." He said standing up.
"Sounds good to me. See you in class." I gave him a quick kiss and hurried out the door.
"Olivia only sees me in a certain way. To her, I'm 'Inside Ruby,' the guy she's forced to live with and buy underwear for. Tonight, I got to show her that I can be 'Outside Ruben,' the guy who not only knows how to make killer chilaquiles, but can sexify a lady on the dance floor. Tonight, I will redefine our relationship." Ruby said with conviction. I had ditched Monse and was standing in line with the boys. I got tired of her constant complaining.
Awesome. Happy for you. So, while you, Cesar, and Astor are getting sexified on the dance floor-" Jamal was cut off.
I gave a laugh."That's not what I'll be doing."
Cesar smirked at me. "Oh, I really doubt that." I gave him a Shut the fuck up! look.
"Whatever." The 'injured' boy continued. "I just wanna know where I am in this situation."
Ruby shrugged. "I don't know."
"Aha! Exactly! Because all three of you always forget about me!"
"We don't forget you."
"We ignore you." I whacked him lightly. "Astor! Watch the hair, woman!"
"You gotta leave the cane at home, dude."
"Not a cane. It's a pimp stick."
"Even worse." Cesar mumbled.
Jamal was a bit irate. "Hey, do I crap on your accessories? No. Do I think necklaces are tacky on dudes? Yes. But I keep that to myself. So you keep doing you with that tacky chain, and I'm gonna roll with my pimp stick that I need for my foot injury." He lifted his leg to demonstrate.
"That isn't real." He pointed out.
"Why you got to neg me?"
"Relax." Ruby tried to calm the tension. "No one's gonna neg or forget you tonight, 'cause this ain't eighth grade anymore, boys. It's no 'timid hands off.' It's all 'confident hands on.' 'Cause tonight everyone's gonna let loose. That's why you gotta have protection on the ready. One minute you're dancing next to some rando girl, the next, you're getting up and into your new girlfriend."
I gave him a disgusted face. "Ruby, you're gross."
"Trying not to get the herp." Jamal said, popping the 'p'.
"Come on."
"Hey, thirty nine percent of all cases come from school-sanctioned events. CDC doesn't lie."
Ruby, otherwise known as the incredibly horny, chose to get the conversation back on track. "Like I said, a relationship can be made and redefined by one sexy jam."
With all the talk about how much a single dance mattered, I was starting to get a bit nervous. "You really think a slow dance can redefine a relationship?"
"Where have you been." The boy to my right deadpanned.
"Dances aren't about dancing. They're about making statements. Positive statements. Plus, they hired DJ Snigglebottoms! He almost played Coachella, so he's obviously fire."
"I don't know, man. I just don't know if one dance matters that much." It looked like Cesar had feelings similar to my own.
"Okay. What about Sylvia and Jesus, huh?" He pointed to a couple smooching across the courtyard. They were pretty cute. "They barely knew each other last year before the fall dance. She was all over him. Then they both fell in love...Look at them. They're so ride or die."
Ruby had me convinced. I gazed over at Cesar. "Tonight could be a game changer."
We sat down and were momentarily joined by Monse and Olivia, both of whom we wearing strange looks. There was a very awkward silence. "I'm wearing indigo tonight. I thought we should claim colors to avoid outfit clashes. Indigo? Any objections? Oh, and my pants have red pockets. I know, it sounds weird, but it works."
Olivia looked worried. "What are the pockets for? Roofies?" What the fuck? We all gave her strange looks.
"So, what time should we meet?" Cesar said, attempting a second ice breaker.
"Yeah, let's get that in the books. The more specific, the better. What are you guys thinking, like 8:00? 8:05? 8:10?"
Both girls opposite us still seemed uncomfortable. "I'm gonna play it by ear. I'm not sure I'm feeling it."
"What? Why?" The shorter boy voiced the thoughts running through my head.
"Not sure I'm in the mood to be objectified. If I want to see boners, I'll just go online." I raised an eyebrow. Whoa. where did that come from?
"Didn't you hear Principal Sarge?" Jamal said. "The dance is a no-bone zone."
My sister finally spoke up. "Are you kidding? Dances are cesspools of bad behavior. I don't want to go."
Ruby looked like a five year old who had just been told Christmas was canceled. "Yeah, people get freaky, but what's wrong with getting freaky? I don't get it."
"Yeah, explain it to us, Monse. Why don't you wanna go?" I asked.
"Maybe we're just not in the mood."
Then LA's smartest idiot just had to open his mouth. "Oh, is it your menses?"
"Her what?" The girls across the table glared, while I almost started laughing. The way he said it was hilarious.
He didn't get the hint. "Her lady pond has runneth red."
"Lady pond?" Oh man, is he gonna get it.
"What? What am I saying wrong?" He was truly oblivious. I guess ignorance does not always make for bliss.
"Everything!" The both yelled before Monse took over. "You guys don't understand what it's like to be a woman and treated like an object. We have hearts!"
"And minds. So, take out any question that we're going tonight. The answer is no. With a period, 'cause that's what it's actually called."
"Olivia, let's go dine in a less hostile environment." My sister got up with Olivia following the suit.
"You read my mind."
They exited leaving us very confused. I was the first to speak. "What just happened?"
"How should I know? I thought you were our unofficial representative, to, y'know, translate all the mixed messages and signs so normal guys can understand?" Ruby said.
"I think I accidentally left my hand book at home, because I don't have a clue what just went down."
Cesar and I skipped out on sixth period. The bell had just rung and we were about to leave the storage room when I spotted Monse talking to some dude with cornrows. It was obvious she liked him and visa versa. "Cesar, look! I think Monse's about to get asked to the dance." We both crowded around the tiny window in the door, gazing on in fascination. The kid awkwardly asked her something to which she nodded vigorously, a massive grin across her face.
"No way. She said yes. What a hypocrite." He said.
"This is a good thing. I've been trying to get her to come for days. Now she just says yes to some guy? I'm very interested in who Cornrows is."
We waited until Monse and her mystery boy had passed before we exited the closet. Right in front of Olivia who just happened to be in sixth period health class. She took in our slightly messy hair. "Oh my God. Were you just-"
"No! No, no, no. We were in the closet because we didn't want to get caught skipping class." I lied. She gave me a strange look, but didn't question my hasty explanation.
"I think I should get to class." There was an air of awkwardness between the three of us.
"Olivia, wait! You're still coming over, even though you and Monse aren't going to the dance, right?" I asked.
"Yeah, as far as I know."
I smiled. "Perfect." My dear sister will probably need help to get ready for the dance, and Olivia is the best person to help me convince her to dress up.
While we walked back to our house, I waited impatiently for Monse to tell Olivia she would, in fact, be attending homecoming. They continued to chat about non-dance related things. Eventually there was a pause in the conversation and she went for it, attempting to hide her excitement. "We should go to the dance."
She was completely caught off guard. "What? Why?"
"Because we can't let them win." Monse lied. I snorted, trying to hold back my laughter.
"No way. We need to stand our ground." Olivia stated with conviction.
She scoffed. "Which is why we can't sit at home." Monse argued. "We have to go."
The other girl wasn't sure. "I'm totally confused."
"Yeah, Monse." I added. "I've been trying to convince you all week. Why the sudden change of heart?" I was hoping she would come clean. I really needed the 411 on Cornrows.
Instead she had to disappoint. "We're falling prey to the obvious argument, which is that we have to sit out to make a point. But the point is, we go. If we don't, they win."
"Still confused. How are they winning?" Asked Olivia. I had to agree, Monse wasn't making much sense.
"By repressing us! By staying home, it's like they're putting us in emotional burkas, giving us no choice." My sister sighed, annoyed at her friend's lack of understanding.
Suddenly she seemed to have a mental lightbulb. "I get it. We need to shed the burkas and flaunt the boobs." She totally bought into Monse's crap. Olivia is great, but she may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer. Not that I'm much better.
"Yes!"My sister agreed. "Our body, our choice."
"We have to go. And look sexy." She giggled.
My sister turned pointing at her. "But not for them, for us."
"So, I'm dressing for you."
"And I'm dressing for you." Once I figure out how to look sexy. It's a good thing you know me.
I rolled my eyes. "Y'all can be sexy for each other all you want, but I'm defiantly dressing up for dudes."
Monse looked at the ground. "First I have to figure out how to look sexy."
I laughed at that. "Sorry Sis, do you not see who you're walking with? On your left you have the lovely Olivia, a fashion and makeup expert, as well as one of the sexiest girls in the school, and on your right you have none other than moi, who's name is infamous throughout the school for one thing, sex. If we don't know how to be sexy, then I don't know who does." Both girls thought this was quite funny. "Come, young padawan. Much training you have. Learn the ways of the sexy, you must." I croaked, imitating Yoda. An old lady watering her flowers gave me a strange look as we passed. "Really. We've gotta get ready. Olivia, can you grab your stuff and meet us at our house?"
"Yup, see you in like, half an hour, forty minutes."
