A/N: We have managed to put Ed back together and get me out of the Gorge of Eternal Peril! How, you ask? Grit, spit, and a whole lot of duct tape!

Skipper: *knocks me out* You are not authorized to use that line. Kowalski, analysis.

Kowalski: We are within some kind of fanfiction, Skipper.

Private: Look at the previous chapter, sir. She forgot to do the disclaimer.

Skipper: Fish and chips! Rico!

Rico: (translated from Rico-language) This author does not own Fullmetal Alchemist, Avatar: The Last Airbender, or Madagascar. These titles and all pertaining to them belong to their respective owners.

Skipper: Good work, boys.

All Penguins: *high fives*

They landed in a small, grassy valley. There was a little pond on one end and a hill separating them from the nearest town, which was about a mile away. It was late.

"This looks like a good spot to set up camp." Said Sokka, hopping off of Appa (heh, Sokka and Appa. Heh, half rhyme).

"You kids just move from camp to camp?" asked Roy.

"We are fugitives from the Fire Nation." Said Katara.

"Besides, Appa would be hard to hide in a town." Said Aang. Appa grunted in agreement.

"If you're on the run, why stay in the Fire Nation?" Roy asked.

"We need to get to a rendezvous point to meet up with the invasion." Said Sokka.

"You're invading? Well, then, maybe I could give you some pointers. I've done my fair share of invasions in my time of being a military dog." Bragged Roy.

"I was hoping you'd say something like that. We've got a pretty good plan but we're not exactly military strategists." Said Sokka. Roy smirked.

"Could you guys quit plotting and help us unpack?" asked Katara. They nodded.

"Where's Fullmetal? He should be doing some of this." Said Roy, bringing a bag down.

"He's over there." Said Toph, gesturing to Ed who was lying on the ground, fast asleep.

"Your brother usually this helpful?" she asked Aang sarcastically. He laughed.

"Usually." He said.

"I should kick him and tell him to get his ass in gear." Said Roy, looking over. Aang was about to say something, but Roy cut him off.

"But," He said, "It's been a long time since that kid's gotten some decent sleep. He needs it."

They all continued to unpack.

Boomshakalaka

"Is he still asleep?" asked Toph the next day.

"He does that." Said Aang, pushing the water he and Katara were bending back to her.

Just about that time, Ed woke up. He yawned and looked around. He spotted Roy and Sokka working on invasion ideas. He smirked and walked over to them. When he got there, he "tripped over himself" and landed on top of Roy, his right elbow jabbing into Roy's stomach. Roy grunted.

"Is it time, already, to ruin my day, Fullmetal?" he asked. Ed smiled sarcastically.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Mustang, I should really watch where I'm going." He said, getting up and brushing himself off, "It's odd that I didn't notice you. Usually, I can hear your ego bragging to itself from a couple hundred kilometers away." Roy's eye twitched slightly before he settled into a sarcastic smile of his own.

"Gee, I hope you didn't hurt yourself. I'm pretty sure you didn't, though. You don't have that far to fall." He said. It was Ed's turn to twitch.

Before he could go into a full-out short rant, however, Aang butted in with "Okay, you guys, cut it out."

"Aw, c'mon, Al. I'm just messing with him." Said Ed, smirking.

"I just don't want this to turn into a full-scale alchemy battle." Said Aang, remembering what had happened the last time. And the time before that. And the time before that.

"Speaking of that, I've been wanting to test alchemy against bending." Said Ed, "You up for it, Al?" Aang smiled and got into stance. Ed did so as well.

"This should be interesting." Said Roy.

"Go, Aang! Show him how we do things!" shouted Sokka.

Ed clapped his hands and transmuted the ground and Aang earthbended against it. The battle had begun. As the brothers fought, the others looked (in Toph's case, "looked") on.

"I hope they don't hurt each other." Said Katara.

"Please. They've been going at it like this since they were very young. They're far too experienced to accidentally hurt one another too badly." Said Roy.

"Yeah. Quit your worrying and enjoy the fight." Said Toph.

It went on for quite a long time; each trying to outdo the other, but never quite getting there. Eventually, Aang realized that the fight wasn't going anywhere, so he decided to tackle Ed. Once Aang had him pinned down, Ed pushed him off and pinned Aang down. After this, they practically rolled across the ground until… SPLASH! They rolled into the pond.

Everyone else laughed. The brothers sat up with identical expressions of annoyance on their faces. Ed spit the water that had gotten in his mouth at Aang. Aang retaliated by splashing him. Ed tried to splash Aang back, but Aang deflected it with waterbending and, instead, it hit Katara.

Upon realizing this, Aang blushed. Katara, however, smiled evilly. She bended a big bubble of water and dropped it over the boys. Some of it got on Sokka, who shook if off onto Toph. She proceeded to push him into the pond, and what was once and alchemy/bending battle had turned into a big splash fight.

They all laughed more than they had in a long time, especially Ed. For once, he felt like he was acting his age.

Boomshakalaka

After the splash war, everyone but Roy—who hadn't participated—was soaked. They were all still laughing as they got out of the water and began to dry themselves off. Roy was sitting against a rock, looking board. Ed noticed this and walked over to him.

"What's the matter, Mustang? Afraid of a little water?" he asked flipping some onto him. Roy grumbled and brushed it off.

"Oh, wait! I forgot! You're made of cesium."(1) Ed said sarcastically. Aang laughed, but the rest of the GAang were confused as to how that was a joke. Roy stood up.

"Very funny. Now, why don't you go dry off before you start to rust?" he said. Ed grumbled, but he clapped his hands and dried himself off, anyway. He didn't really want to get beaten with a wrench when he got home.

"I say we go get some food. I'm starving." Said Ed.

"I'm with you on that one, buddy." Said Sokka. The group made their way to the town.

Boomshakalaka

There weren't very many people in the town. At least, that's what it looked like to the group that had just walked in.

"Where do you think everyone is?" asked Katara.

"In the center of the town. There's something… strange there." Said Toph.

"You psychic or something?" asked Ed.

"No. I can feel them with earthbending." She said. Aang put a hand to the ground.

"I can feel it, too." He said.

"What, exactly, is 'it'?" asked Roy.

"I'm… not sure. But, like Toph said, it's definitely strange." Said Aang.

"Let's go check it out." Said Sokka. They ran off to the middle of the town.

Boomshakalaka

What looked like the town's enitire population was crowed around something the GAang + 2 couldn't see.

"Will all civilians please return to your homes." Said a voice. When no one heard, some fire was shot into the sky to get people's attention. They all looked to where it had come from.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the military must investigate this anomaly. You must all return to you homes until it is deemed to be safe or not." Said a man who looked to be the commanding officer, "Please. This is for your own safety." There was much grumbling within the crowd as they flocked out.

"Let's go get a closer look." Said Sokka.

"How are we going to do that?" asked Aang.

"We're going to use our own, personal Fire Nation soldier." He said, looking at Roy. Roy got the idea, and smirked. He walked up to the commanding officer, the others following him.

"Sir!" he said, saluting the man.

"At ease, soldier. What is it?" said the man.

"I wish to help as much as I can, sir." Said Roy. The man looked Roy up and down.

"Are you stationed in this town?" he asked.

"No, sir. I am charged with guarding these young nobles on their way back to the capital." Said Roy.

"Nobles?" The man looked behind Roy at the kids, who were all trying their best to look regal. And overdoing it.

"Except for the short, blond one. He's just a servant." Said Roy. Ed looked like he was going to attack Roy. Aang put a hand on his brother's left shoulder and squeezed, hoping he'd get the message. He did, but he still seemed pretty pissed.

"If you are a guard, you should be guarding." Said the man.

"It was their idea, sir. They were curious." Said Roy.

"Very well. You kids keep your distance, though. We don't know if it's dangerous or not." Said the man. He and Roy exchanged salutes, and the man walked over to another group of soldiers.

The GAang + 2 walked over to the… whatever-it-was. At first glance, it looked like a puddle of clear water. However, Aang and Toph's insistence that it was something else prompted them to look closer.

Upon this closer inspection, they found that they were looking into the perspective of someone lying on their back and facing the ceiling of an office. It also seemed to be glowing, but it was hard to tell in the day light.

"S-sir! There's… m-movement." Said one of the soldiers. The rest, including the GAang + 2, gathered around the edges and peered in. (A/N: This is where my pen died. A moment of silence, please.) They gawked at what they saw. It looked like the reflection of a young woman, staring into the thingy. Her expression was blank. The commanding officer was the first to snap out of it.

"Hello, young Miss. Can you hear us?" he asked. She raised an eyebrow. The man commanded that someone bring him ink, brush, and paper. Once he recieved this, he wrote down what he had said. She shook her head, no.

He wrote "Have you any idea what is going on?" She shook her head, no, again.

He wrote "I am Colonel Shou."

She walked away, but returned with a piece of paper that said "Lt. Col. Riza Hawkeye."

"The military?' Col. Shou asked himself. He saluted her; she saluted back. It was a sign of respect and, more importantly, peace between the two. Still, everyone had one thought on their minds: What's going on?

Everyone, that is, except for the three Amestrians. These alchemists (and ex-alchemist) had a different thought: portal. And, of course, they knew who was on the other side.

In the first half-second of her appearance, Riza had noticed Roy. In the half-second after that, Roy had subtly made a motion to tell her to not acknowledge him. She followed this command flawlessly.

Col. Shou was writing something.

"Would you like us to send delegates over or vice versa?" Riza took a quick glance at Roy, who shook his head. She copied the motion and began to write.

"We are having our experts examine this thing. Until any travel that may be possible is deemed safe, we should probably not do anything to disturb it."

Col. Shou nodded, and they saluted one another again.

"Men!" he called. They stood to attention.

"I want you four to guard this." He pointed to four soldiers, "The rest of you, back to your stations." The men saluted, bowed, and left. He turned to the GAang + 2.

"As for you, I know of a good inn if you would like to stay." He said.

"That would be nice. Thank you." Said Aang. They all bowed, except for Ed, who needed to be elbowed in the ribs by Aang first.

Boomshakalaka

The Colonel was right; it was a nice inn.

Once they were settled in, Katara asked, "What was that thing?"

"Probably some kind of portal." Said Aang.

"What makes you say that?" asked Sokka.

"That was my office." Said Roy.

"So you know who that woman was?" asked Toph. Sokka had been describing things to her as they happened.

"Actually, the scorch marks were enough to prove it was his." Said Ed, getting back at Roy for the short servant remark.

"Anyway, I believe that we can use it to get back to Amestris." Said Roy. Aang looked a little saddened. He had just gotten his big brother back, and now he was going to have to say goodbye so soon after. This was not lost on Edward.

"Of course, we'll have to make sure it's safe, first. It doesn't look like The Gate, but that bastard The Truth may be lurking around in there. I really don't feel like loosing the rest of my limbs." He said.

Boom…ohyougetthepicture

The rest of the day, Roy was down by the portal researching and discreetly passing messages to Riza while the kids explored the town. They had to keep up their "curious nobles" façade.

Roy talked to some of the other soldiers, but the only explanation any of them could come up with was "Spirit World Magic," which he inwardly rolled his eyes at. If anything, it was alchemy. Though not like any alchemy he'd ever seen.

This led him to think about what had happened in his office. Ed had been about to do a transmutation when they were transported to this world. There must have been a circle in his office, and the alchemic energy Ed was going to use was transferred to that circle.

Someone could have planted that circle trying to get rid of him. But who? And who could have activated the circle in this world? As far as he knew, the only alchemists here were himself and Ed.

"Contemplating complicated assassination plots?" asked a voice behind him. He jumped a little and turned around. It was a young woman with long, blond hair in a pony-tail. She was carrying a muddy shovel which left him wondering along with the fact that she knew exactly what he had been thinking.

"How did you guess?" he asked calmly.

"I'm cool like that." She said. She leaned on the shovel, "So, eh, what's up doc?"

"I'm not even sure." Said Roy, looking into the portal again. She followed his gaze.

"Well, would you look at that? The office of the great Fuhrer of Amestris." She said. Roy stiffened.

"How do you know that?" he asked.

"I've been around the block a couple of times." She said, tossing the shovel. There was a distant sound of crashing and a cat screeching.

"By the way, that thing is totally safe to go through. You went through a less developed one to get here." She said.

"Less developed?" asked Roy.

"Yeah. Either the reaction will go on and on until the bonds are so strong that they will become permanent, which is not good, or a human will go through. You see, the precise chemical make-up of a human disrupts the reaction which breaks apart the forming bonds." she said. Roy was stunned. Everything she'd said had made sense, except for one detail.

"What kind of reaction is it?" he asked. She paused.

"Damn. I thought I'd dug that hole." She said.

"What?" he asked. She rolled her eyes.

"Weren't you wondering what the shovel was for? I was digging plot holes." She said.

"I'm sorry. Plot holes?"

"Yeah, you know. Holes in the plot. The author's kind of lazy." She said, dismissively. Hey, wait a minute! I work hard!

"Whatever. If you don't believe me, ask yourself this: How is it that it was only the 100 years that Aang was in the iceberg that didn't count?"

"Time warp." He said, thinking of what Aang, himself, had said.

"Oh, please. You know that's a lame explanation." Oh, come on! Really! "Shut up! I'm talking! I mean, think deeper than that. Doesn't it seem a little off?"

Roy did think about it. Sure, she seemed crazy, but he couldn't help it. And it did seem a little off. Almost like it was planned.

"That's what I thought." Said the woman, noticing his expression.

"By the way, you have 'till noon tomorrow before that thing seals itself. Chop! Chop!" she said cheerfully. She began to walk away.

"Wait." Roy called after her. She turned.

"Yeeeeeeees?" she asked sweetly.

"You seem to know a lot. I have one more question: Do you know who drew that circle in my office?" he asked. She looked at him for a second, and then laughed.

"Don't you worry, Roy. No one's trying to get rid of you."

So she knows my name. thought Roy.

"I couldn't tell you who it was, but I think that they were probably just very, very bored." She said. The way she'd said it had given her away. Roy knew that it had been her who'd done it. When she smirked, he knew that she knew that he knew.

Wait, what did I just say? Uhh… The point is that they both know that that other knows… Okay, I'm confusing myself now. We're skipping that bit.

The woman put her hand out and the shovel she had thrown zoomed back to her. She rested it on her shoulder and put one hand on her hip.

"Noon, tomorrow, mein Führer. Don't be late." She said.

"Who are you?" Roy demanded, he fingers ready to snap.

She smiled wickedly and snapped her own fingers first. Instead of creating fire, she disappeared in a sparkling, swirling mist of blue, green, and purple accompanied by a whoosh. Right after, Roy could've sworn he'd seen the word "ELMARINE" appear in midair, but it disappeared just as quickly as it had come.

I'mnotgonnasayit

The GAang + 2 met up in front of the inn.

"You okay? You seem a bit shaken up." Toph asked Roy.

"Yeah, you don't look so good." Said Katara.

He really didn't. He was pale and a bit shaky. He'd been among some of the best alchemists in the world and he'd seen some pretty amazing bending, but he'd never seen anything like what that woman had done. It hadn't made sense. He'd searched for two straight hours for any wires or trap doors, but there was nothing. He didn't want to trust her, but there was nothing else to go on.

"I found some interesting information." He said to the group.

"Let's got talk inside." Said Sokka.

Seriouslyyoucan'tmakemesayit

"That portal is a more developed version of the one we went through to get here. When a human goes through, it will evaporate." Roy explained. Katara got him a glass of water, which he accepted gratefully.

"That's great! Then you guys can go back." Said Sokka.

"So what's the catch?" asked Ed.

"As far as I know, there isn't one." Said Roy.

"Don't give me that shit, Mustang. I know that you wouldn't be acting like this unless there was some kind of catch." Said Ed.

"The only catch I know about is that we only have 'till noon tomorrow to use that portal." Said Roy. He stood up.

"We leave for Amestris tonight. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lot to think about." He walked out of the room.

"What's with him?" asked Sokka.

"I'm not sure, but I've been thinking a lot, too." Said Ed.

"Is thinking all you alchemists do?" asked Toph. Ed ignored her.

"Al, we need to talk." He said. Katara realized that this was Ed's way of asking the others to leave.

"We'll give you some privacy." She grabbed Sokka and Toph by their wrists.

"Come on, you two." She said and they left the room.

"What did you want to talk about, Brother?" Aang asked.

"About me staying."

"What do you mean?"

"You heard me."

"But you have to go back."

"Don't tell me you don't want me here."

"No! I do!"

"Then what's the problem?"

"What about your job? And Winry? And your automail? It's not like there's a mechanic anywhere around here."

"I'm sure they'll understand. As for my automail, I just won't break it."

"But…"

"Oh, c'mon, Al. Why are you trying to get rid of me?"

"Because you don't have to be here."

"Huh?"

"Don't you get it? I'm stuck here. I can never go back to Amestris because of what I am. But you're not bound like I am. You can go home and this might by your only chance. I don't want you to blow it because of me."

Ed smiled and shook his head.

"What am I gonna do with you? Don't you remember what we did? We burned down our own house just so we couldn't turn back. We didn't back then and I'm not going to now. You said it yourself: We're all we've got. Besides, this fire lord guy sounds like someone the famous Elric brothers should be taking on together."

"Brother, you're stubborn."

"That's right! And my stubborn ass is staying right here."

Aang smiled.

Nopestillnotgonnasayit

"Fullmetal. Get up. Now."

Ed sat up groggily, his mind barely registering that Roy was shaking him.

"Get dressed. We're leaving." said Roy. Ed did as he was told, far too tired to even understand what was going on.

Once he was dressed, he rubbed his eyes and yawned. Ed tried to make it back to his bed, but Roy grabbed his left wrist and practically dragged him out.

"Hey, Mustang, wait a minute…" Ed muttered, still only half awake.

"There's no time, Fullmetal. We have to go now." Said Roy, not stopping.

About halfway down the road, Ed finally realized what was going on. He yanked his wrist out of Roy's hand.

"What are you doing? We have to go." Said Roy.

"I'm not leaving."

"What?"

"I'm staying here to help my brother."

"Fullmetal, I don't have time for this…"

"I'm serious! He's my little brother and I'm supposed to protect him, so I'm gonna stay here and do just that." Roy looked into Ed's eyes. He saw the same fire he'd seen when he'd told Ed about being a state alchemist.

"There's no convincing you, is there?" he asked. Ed shook his head.

"I thought not." Said Roy.

"Hey, Mustang. Do you think you could do something for me?" asked Ed.

"What is it?" Ed put his hand in his pocket and brought out a letter. He gave it to Roy.

"Could you give this to Winry Rockbell? In case I don't come back." Roy raised an eyebrow.

"You'd better not read it." Ed said, blushing a little. Roy put it in his pocket.

"I'll get it to her." He said.

"Thanks." Said Ed. He began to walk away.

"Fullmetal." Roy called after him. Ed turned back.

"I'm not going to say it was a pleasure, because it wasn't, but," Roy saluted Ed, "it was an honor to serve with you, Fullmetal." Ed saluted him back.

"You, too, Flame." He said. Roy held out his hand. Ed shook it.

"See ya, kid."

"Maybe."

They went their separate ways.

OhfineBoomshakalaka

Roy had changed the oxygen levels in the air just enough to knock the four guards out and now he stood at the edge of the portal. In the dark night, he could definitely see it glowing.

He sighed. He still wasn't so sure about the whole thing.

"Having second thoughts?" said a voice behind him. He jumped a little and turned around. It was the woman from earlier.

"Stop doing that." He said.

"No." she stated. Roy's eye twitched a little. He took a deep breath.

"So, your name's Elmarine, huh?" he asked. She jumped up and down excitedly.

"Oh! You saw that? Wasn't it awesome?" she said, sounding very much like a small child showing off a new trick.

There was silence for a moment.

"You're a strange one, aren't you?" asked Roy. She nodded happily. Roy rolled his eyes and looked back into the portal.

"You might want to go in head-first." She said.

"Why?"

"Once the gravity on the other side begins to work against you, you'll fall on your head and break you neck. It's kind of a dumb way to die. Funny, though."

Roy thought about everything she had said to him. It all seemed to make sense, but there was something about her that screamed "untrustworthy."

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" he asked.

"Well, the laws of physics state…"

"Not about that. I mean how do I know you're telling the truth about the portal being safe? This is all your doing in the first place. How do I know that you don't just want to watch me get ripped to shreds by The Gate?"

"That would be hilarious but I give you my word that I'm not making this up."

"Why should I trust your word?" She seriously thought about it for a moment.

"Let's see…" she said, then, all of a sudden, she swept Roy's feet out from under him and he fell through the portal head-first.

"Te videbo!"(2) she said, waving cheerfully.

There was a flash of light, and both Roy and the portal were gone.

"Well, that was easy!" she said, and then she followed him via teleportation.

"What! Why?"

Because I said so.

"Angry mumble."

Oh, it'll be fun! You get to bug him the entire time.

"Weeeeeeell…"

Just go!

"Alright! Jeez!"

She disappeared in a sparkling, swirling mist of blue, green, and purple, accompanied by a whoosh. Alright, is everyone clear on how she disappears/teleports? 'Cuz I'm not going to say that long time/space wasting explanation again. We understand each other? Yes? Good! Cue the A/N!

A/N: What will happen to Mustang? Will Ed ever be able to get back home? What did he write in that letter? Are the penguins gone? *looks around nervously*

Skipper: No.

Me: *runs and hides*

Elmarine: Great. Now she has a paralyzing fear of cows and penguins.

BTW: (1): Cesium explodes when it's put into water. (there's a Youtube video if you want to see)

(2) Latin for "I will be seeing you." But in this context "See ya!"