"Good morning." Bilbo awkwardly said to the old man.
"What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel good on this particular morning? Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on? Hm," The old man asked
Bilbo gave him a strange look, "All of them at once, I suppose."
"Hmm."
"Can I help you?"
The old man looked at him critically, "That remains to be seen. I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure."
"An adventure? No, I don't imagine anyone west of Bree would have much interest in adventures. Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things. Make you late for dinner. Heh, heh. Mm. Huh. Hmm. Oh. Ah. Good morning."
"To think that I should have lived to be "good morninged" by Belladonna Took's son as if I were selling buttons at the door."
"Beg your pardon?"
"You've changed, and not entirely for the better, Bilbo Baggins."
"I'm sorry, do I know you?"
"Well, you know my name, although you don't remember I belong to it. I'm Gandalf. And Gandalf means... ...me."
"Gandalf? Not Gandalf the wandering Wizard... ...who made such excellent fireworks? Old Took used to have them on Midsummer's Eve. The one that put the spell on my sister? Heh, heh. Ahem. No idea you were still in business."
"And where else should I be?"
"Where else...? Ahem."
"Well, I'm pleased to find you remember something about me... ...even if it's only my fireworks. Yes. Well, that's decided. It'll be very good for you (Bilbo looks at Gandalf confused) and most amusing for me. I shall inform the others."
"Inform the who? What? No. No. No... Wait. We do not want any adventures here, thank you. Not today. Not... I suggest you try Over the Hill or Across the Water. Good morning."
And with that Bilbo went inside and slammed the door. He leaned against the door breathing heavily when suddenly he hears scraping against the door. Bilbo looked out when suddenly Gandalf's face appeared in the window, he hid so the wizard would not see him.
Bilbo looks again out the window to see if Gandalf has left, he sighs when he notices that there is no one outside. Bilbo takes a deep breath to calm his nerves, he notices it's almost time for Elevenses so he goes into the kitchen to make some tea and get the glazed scones, muffins, petit fours, tea cakes, and mini-cheesecakes. He knew that Kumiko would have worked up an appetite by this time so all the Hobbit meals had increased in the Baggins household a long time ago.
At exactly 11:00 Kumiko landed in the back garden. She goes straight to the bathroom to wash up then goes into the dining room where Bilbo is waiting for her. She smiled at her brother as she sat down next to him.
"Hello, brother," Cocking her head to the side she notices the worried look on his face, "What's the matter?"
"Gandalf the Grey was here."
"The wandering wizard, I haven't seen him since I was three years old."
"You remember him, good."
"What did he want?"
"He wanted me to go on an adventure with him," Bilbo tells his sister as he serves her tea and cakes.
"What's wrong with that?"
Bilbo gave his sister an incredulous look, "Kumiko, I can't go on an adventure, I am a Baggins of Bag End!"
"Oh Bilbo, you are also a Took, you have mother's blood in you, that sense of adventure is already there. You're just denying it, had Gandalf asked me, I would have gone."
"Of course you would have, you're a Saiyan and able to defend yourself."
"I've offered to train you, but you refuse. Besides, do you think that I would let you go alone on this adventure? I would have gone with you whether Gandalf had asked me or not. How would he have stopped me?"
"I'm only a Hobbit, sister, I can't do the things that you can do."
"How do you know unless you try? At the very least I could have taught you how to fly."
"Fly? No, no, no, Hobbits do not belong in the sky."
"We're getting off track if Gandalf comes back and asks you again I urge you to accept. I promise I'll protect you with my life if I have to. Now, enough talk let's enjoy our Elevenses."
Kumiko took a break from training in order to begin cooking luncheon for her and Bilbo. Normally luncheon was just some sandwiches. But not in the Baggins household, Kumiko would need more than just sandwiches to tide her over. So she normally did the cooking. She would make anything from roast mutton to shepherd's pies, or some fish and chips. Today though was to be roast mutton. She had nearly died that morning training with the battle bots, though she wasn't going to tell Bilbo, and because of that fact, she was now stronger and hungrier.
As Kumiko cooked, Bilbo retired to his study to read quietly and to think. He looked around and thought how could he leave the comforts of his how to go on an adventure. But at the as that thought crossed his mind at the same time he felt a stirring in his soul urging him to accept Gandalf's offer. He shook his head and pushed that urge down.
At 1:00 Bilbo and Kumiko sat down to a wonderful lunch when they had finished, Bilbo would do the dishes while Kumiko would resume her training.
Life continued on pretty much the same for several weeks. Kumiko trained, Bilbo read his books and would go to the market, and of course, they ate like normal until one fated night. Kumiko had not come home for dinner that night, but Bilbo was not worried that sometimes happened, so he made himself a nice fish dinner. He was about to sit down to his meal when the bell rang. Looking at the clock he wondered who would be calling at that hour. Opening the door he found a rather tall intimidating dwarf standing outside.
The dwarf bowed, "Dwalin at your service."
Bilbo looked at the dwarf confused he tied his robe shut and answered, "Hm. Uh... Bilbo Baggins, at yours. Do we know each other?"
The dwarf walked into the house and took off his cloak handing it to Bilbo, "No. Which way, laddie? Is it down here?"
"Is what down where?"
"Supper. He said there'd be food and lots of it," Dwalin said as he walked into the dining room
"He... He said? Who said," asked Bilbo following behind the dwarf.
When Bilbo entered the dining room he saw that Dwalin had eaten his fish head and all.
"Mmm. Mmm. Very good, this. Any more?"
"What? Oh, yes, yes. Ah. Help yourself. Hmm. It's just that, um, I wasn't expecting company."
Bilbo hands Dwalin a plate of biscuits but not before taking a few for himself. Dwalin begins munching away on the biscuits when the bell rings again. He looks at Bilbo giving him a smug look.
"That'll be the door."
Bilbo goes and answers the door, there's another dwarf standing there. The dwarf bows and introduces himself, "Balin, at your service."
"Good evening," Bilbo says.
Balin looks up at the sky, "Yes. Yes, it is. Though I think it might rain later."
"Hm?
"Am I late?" Balin asks as he walks into the house and takes off his cloak.
Bilbo gives Balin a questioning look, "Late for what?"
Balin smiles at seeing Dwalin, "Oh! Ha, ha! Evening, brother."
Dwalin who has his hand stuck in the cookie jar looks at his brother and smiles "By my beard... ...you're shorter and wider than last we met."
Balin walks up to his brother chuckling, "Wider, not shorter. Sharp enough for both of us."
The dwarves hug then headbutt each other, Bilbo stares at them in shock. He shakes his head coming out of his shock, "Uh, excuse me? Sorry, I hate to interrupt. But the thing is, I'm not entirely sure you're in the right house."
The dwarves ignore him and carry on with their conversation going into the pantry looking for food, "Have you eaten?" Balin asks
Bilbo continues to rant, "It's not that I don't like visitors. I like visitors as much as the next Hobbit. But I do like to know them before they come 'visiting'.
Dwalin picks up a hunk of blue cheese, "What is this?"
"I don't know. I think it's cheese. Gone blue."
"It's riddled with mold," Dwalin says as he tosses the cheese over his shoulder.
"The thing is, I don't know either of you. Not in the slightest. I don't mean to be blunt, but I had to speak my mind. I'm sorry." Bilbo tells them.
It seems that finally got at least Balin's attention, "Apology accepted. Now, fill it up, brother, don't stint."
The dwarves carry on with their conversation, completely ignoring Bilbo. It was at this time that Bilbo wished his sister was here so she could throw these dwarves out of their house. At that moment the bell rings again, Bilbo sighs and goes to answer the door. This time there are two dwarves standing at his door a blonde and a brunette.
"Fili."
"And Kili."
"At your service," They say in unison then bow."
The brunette, Kili, smiles at Bilbo, "You must be Mr. Boggins."
"No! You can't come in, you've come to the wrong house." Bilbo says as he tries to shut the door.
Kili stops him, "What?! Has it been canceled?"
"No one told us," Fili says.
Bilbo gives them a confused look, "Can…! No, nothing's been canceled."
"That's a relief," Kili says as they come into the house.
As Fili walks in he hands Bilbo a bundle of swords and knives, "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened."
Kili looks around, "It's nice, this place. Did you do it yourself," He asks as he wipes his muddy boots on Belladonna's glory box.
"Uh…no, it's been in the family for years. That's my mother's glory box, can you please not do that?"
Dwalin comes out and puts his arm around the boys, "Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand."
Kili smiles, "Mr. Dwalin."
"Let's shove this in the hole, or otherwise we'll never get everyone in," Balin tells them.
Bilbo looks at them alarmed, "Ev…everyone?! How many more are there?"
At that point the bell rings again, Bilbo makes his way to the door, "Oh, no! No, no. There's nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There's far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If…if this is some blockhead's idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!"
Bilbo opens the door and a whole troop of dwarves fall, they all groan, "Get off, you big lump!" One of them says.
Gandalf pokes his head through the door
Bilbo sighs at the sight of the wizard, "Gandalf," He should have known.
The dwarves come in and ransack his pantry, helping themselves to every scrap of food in the house, Bilbo follows them around telling them to put everything back, but it lands on deaf ears. One dwarf is actually walking on the dining room table serving his best ale to the other dwarves.
Bilbo looks on getting more and more frustrated, "Bebother and confusticate these dwarves!"
"My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?"
Bilbo looks at Gandalf in disbelief and goes down a list of exactly what is the matter with having these dwarves in his and Kumiko's house.
"I don't understand what they're doing in my house!" Bilbo asks in an exasperated tone.
At that moment a young dwarf named Ori comes up to Bilbo, "Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt. But what should do with my plate?"
"Here you go, Ori, give it to me," Fili tells him, who suddenly tosses the plate to his brother who tosses it on to another dwarf.
Bilbo cringes, "Excuse me! That's my mother's Westfarthing pottery, it's over a hundred years old! And…and, ca…can you not do that, you'll blunt them!"
Bofur and the others are using the silverware like drumsticks, "Ooh, d'you hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knives!"
Kili suddenly starts singing, "Blunt the knives, bend the forks."
Fili continues, "Smash the bottles and bum the corks."
Then the rest of the dwarves join in as they toss around Bilbo's dishes:
Chip the glasses and crack the plates That's what Bilbo Baggins hates Cut the cloth, tread on the fat Leave the bones on the bedroom mat Pour the milk on the pantry floor Splash the wine on every door Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl Pound them up with a thumping pole When you're finished, if they are whole Send them down the hall to roll That's what Bilbo Baggins hates
At the conclusion of the song, the dwarves laugh but the dishes are all clean and stacked. Suddenly they hear someone knocking at the door.
"He is here," Gandalf whispers ominously.
